The safehouse smelled of burnt toast and desperation. Bill adjusted his monocle, which was actually a plastic magnifying glass taped to a coat hanger. He pointed a trembling finger at the blueprint spread across the kitchen table. It was rendered entirely in glitter glue and scented markers. Get your head in the game, Bill, Molly snapped, snapping a rubber band against her wrist. We have forty-five minutes before the cake is served. Is that the deadline? Bill asked, wiping sweat from his upper lip. Why forty-five minutes? Because that is when the sugar high peaks, Bill. After that, the toddlers turn into a pack of feral wolves. If we are still in the conservatory when the crying starts, we are dead men walking. I am not a man, I am a professional heist consultant, Bill huffed, tugging at his oversized tuxedo. Do you think the bow tie is too much? You look like a waiter who lost a fight with a magician. Focus. Did you secure the distractions? I have three dozen captive-bred hamsters in the van, Bill confirmed with a sharp nod. Once I release them into the bouncy castle, the perimeter security will be completely compromised. The perimeter security is a teenage girl named Brittany who is obsessed with her phone, Molly said, pacing the linoleum. We do not need hamsters. We need the thermal signatures of the gift pile. I brought the infrared goggles, Bill said, pulling a pair of snorkeling masks painted black from his duffel bag. But I could not find any batteries, so we will have to make the beeping noises ourselves to stay synchronized. I am not beeping, Bill. I am a professional. Did you map the Lego field? The hallway is a death trap, Bill whispered, his eyes wide with genuine terror. One wrong step and your arches are pulverized. I have been practicing my high-knees on a bed of gravel for weeks. Good. Now, the target is the blue box with the silver ribbon. My intel says it contains the signed edition of the Galactic Commander action figure. What about the tricycle? Bill asked, licking his lips. It has streamers on the handles, Molly. Real streamers. We are not here for the loot, we are here for the high-value assets! Are you compromised by the tassels, Bill? Look at me! The tassels are aerodynamic! Bill shouted, slamming his hand on the table. They offer a tactical advantage during the getaway! We are escaping in a stolen ice cream truck, not a tricycle! Molly grabbed him by the lapels. Stay focused. When the clown starts the balloon animals, that is our window. The clown is a wild card, Molly. You know I do not trust men in oversized shoes. They have too much storage space in their footwear. I will neutralize the clown with the seltzer bottle. You just bag the boxes. Do we have the code for the back door? The nanny said it is the birthday boy’s name followed by three exclamation points. Which is? Barnaby. With a silent Y. There is no silent Y in Barnaby, Bill. There is if you are four years old and rich, Molly. It is a class thing. Fine. Barnab. On my signal, we deploy the bubble machines. Copy that. For the commander! For the Commander. Now put on your snorkel, it is showtime.