"Check the perimeter again," Bill whispered, adjusting his overly tight tuxedo. "I checked it, Bill. It's a bouncy castle. The perimeter is inflatable," Molly snapped, squinting through her high-end birdwatching binoculars. "Is the target secured?" "The target is a pile of brightly wrapped boxes next to a juice bar. I see three LEGO sets, what looks like a mountain bike, and something that’s definitely a glitter-themed disaster waiting to happen." "The bike stays. We can't fit it in the getaway hatchback without folding the seats, and I have groceries in the back," Bill said, checking his watch. "When do we breach?" "We breach when the clown starts the balloon animal segment. It’s his signature distraction. The kids become feral the moment he starts twisting a poodle." "And the guards?" "You mean the yoga moms? They’re distracted by the prosecco fountain in the gazebo. We have a four-minute window before the cake is served." "What about the perimeter alarm?" "Bill, it’s a golden retriever. I have a pocket full of premium jerky. He’s already compromised." "Smart. Use his loyalty against him. Now, tell me about the heavy artillery." "The birthday boy is six today. He has a sugar-induced twitch and a plastic lightsaber. He’s dangerous, Bill. He doesn’t know his own strength." "I can handle a first-grader. I’ve been hit by worse." "He has backup. A squad of toddlers in various superhero costumes. They move in swarms. If they catch us, they’ll sticky-hand us to death." "I’ll pack the wet wipes. What’s our exit strategy?" "We move through the pet door, slide under the hydrangea bush, and hit the sandbox trail. If we reach the driveway, we’re golden." "Did you bring the bag?" "I brought the giant Santa sack. It’s thematic. If anyone sees us, we just look like very efficient, very confused delivery drivers." "In April?" "They’re rich, Bill. They don't understand how seasons work." "Fair point. Do we have the code for the sliding door?" "It’s the kid’s birthday. 0-4-2-2. People are so predictable. It's disgusting." "It’s an insult to the profession of thievery," Bill agreed, tugging at his bow tie. "How do I look? Intimidating?" "You look like a waiter who’s about to get fired for tasting the appetizers." "Good. Urban camouflage. Wait, look at that box on top. Is that a Nintendo?" "Confirmed. It’s the OLED model." "That’s it. That’s the crown jewel. Forget the glitter kits. We go for the electronics and the high-end building blocks." "Ready?" Molly asked, dropping the binoculars. "Wait, I see movement. Is that... is that a magician?" "He’s a hack, Bill. Focus. He’s doing card tricks for the toddlers. They don't even know what cards are." "It’s go time. Don't trip on the Slip 'N Slide." "I’m a professional, Bill. Let's go steal some childhood joy."