# The Birthday Job Molly spread the floor plan across the kitchen table, tapping her finger on the gymnasium entrance. Bill leaned in with a cup of coffee, squinting at the details. "So we're really doing this? A six-year-old's birthday party?" Bill asked, setting down his mug. "You see a better opportunity to acquire premium action figures and gaming consoles? This is a gold mine, Bill. Thirty kids means thirty wrapped presents." "That's a lot of wrapping paper. How do we move that much stuff? It's not like we're stealing diamonds. Presents are bulky." Molly smiled. "We bring the van around back. In through the side entrance at 2:47 PM, right when they're cutting the cake. Maximum chaos, minimal witnesses." "2:47 is oddly specific. Why not 2:45?" "Because the birthday girl has a scheduled naptime meltdown at 2:45. I've studied her behavioral patterns on social media." Bill raised an eyebrow. "You stalked a six-year-old?" "I stalked her mother's Instagram. There's a difference. Anyway, you'll pose as the face painter. You get in with your kit, set up near the present pile. I'll come as a balloon artist consultant. We scout the layout, identify the premium gifts." "I don't know how to face paint, Molly." "You draw a cat. You draw a superhero. It's not rocket science." "What if someone asks for something complicated?" "Then you say your equipment malfunctioned and offer them a balloon instead. Which brings me to the exit strategy. You start packing the van while I create a distraction." Bill leaned back. "What kind of distraction?" "I'm thinking I release all the balloons at once. Create an atmospheric moment. Everyone looks up, momentary confusion sets in, we vanish." "That's actually pretty solid. But what about the parents? Won't they notice two adults loading presents into a cargo van?" "That's where the uniforms come in. We'll say we're with the party venue company, conducting a surprise inspection of decorations. We're 'relocating items for an authorized photo backdrop installation.'" Bill drummed his fingers on the table. "The lie is almost too simple. I like it. What about the kid's face when she realizes her presents are gone?" Molly stood up and looked out the window. "She'll get new presents. Her parents will probably buy double out of guilt. We'll actually be performing an economic stimulus." "That's beautiful rationalization. I'm in." "One more thing," Molly said. "If anyone gets suspicious, we have a backup plan." "Which is?" "We tell them we're birthday entertainers who got hired by the wrong person. Genuine confusion. Everyone laughs. We leave normally through the front door." Bill grabbed his coffee again, nodding slowly. "When's the party?" "Saturday. 2:30 PM start time. Wear comfortable shoes." "Already am," Bill said, glancing down at his sneakers. "Let's steal some presents."