The van smelled of stale coffee and desperation. Through a pair of binoculars, Bill watched a rainbow-colored chaos erupt across the street. Small humans, fueled by cake and pure unadulterated joy, swarmed a bouncy castle shaped like a castle. A real, live pony stood nearby, looking deeply philosophical. “Is that a real pony?” Bill asked, lowering the binoculars. “Because that feels like overkill for a six-year-old’s party.” “It’s a tactical distraction, Bill,” Molly snapped, not looking up from the blueprints she’d drawn on a grease-stained napkin. “A four-legged, hay-fueled security risk. We need to account for it. Now, focus. Which one is the target, Chloe?” “The one in the tiara and the Sparkle-Mania princess costume,” Bill said, pointing. “She’s currently trying to ride the pony like it’s a roller coaster.” “Good. That means her attention is occupied. Now, for the plan. Phase One: Infiltration. I go in disguised as ‘Aunt Gladys,’ a distant relative with a terrible gift. That creates confusion and goodwill.” “What’s the terrible gift?” “A self-help book on overcoming sugar addiction,” Molly said flatly. “While the parents are awkwardly fumbling with that, you create a secondary diversion at the far end of the yard.” “And my part?” “You’re on crowd control,” Molly said, pointing to a large plastic tub in the back of the van. “With the bubble machine. Unleash a torrent of bubbles. The kids will be mesmerized.” “We’re using a bubble machine for a heist?” “This isn’t a heist, Bill, it’s a tactical acquisition of assets. And yes, we are. It’s surprisingly effective. While they’re lost in the shimmering sphere-pocalypse, I’ll be by the present table. I need you to bring the extraction device.” Bill hefted a garish gift bag with a cartoon unicorn on it that was nearly as tall as he was. “The Bag of Holding?” “The Bag of Holding. Now, the window of opportunity is the ‘Pin the Tail on the Donkey’ event. It requires blindfolds and spins, which is pure chaos. That’s our moment. We grab everything and vanish.” Bill peered through the binoculars again. “So the window is when they’re pinning the tail? Can I try to pin the tail first? I’m really good at that.” Molly didn’t answer. She just put her face in her hands and took a deep, shuddering breath. Then she opened the van door, the scent of bubble soap and impending doom filling the air.