The van smelled faintly of old coffee and crinkle-cut potato chips, a scent that hung in the air like a failed get-rich-quick scheme. Through a pair of binoculars, Molly watched a stream of small humans in party hats funnel into a suburban house blaring what could only be described as synthesized ukulele music. A giant, inflatable tyrannosaurus rex was deflating slowly on the front lawn, its open mouth a sad, sagging maw. “Focus, Bill,” Molly hissed, lowering the binoculars. “Target is confirmed. Thirty-seven presents, all clustered by the fireplace. Easy pickings if we time it right.” Bill, who was meticulously licking the cheese dust from his fingers, craned his neck to see. “Thirty-seven? That’s a haul. You think any of them are LEGOs?” “They’re all for a seven-year-old named Timmy. Statistically speaking, yes, at least twelve will be LEGOs,” Molly said, her voice a monotone of professional detachment. “Now, security. I’ve spotted two clowns. One is a standard balloon-twister, the other is doing magic. The magician is the bigger threat. He’s got a cape; it offers superior peripheral vision.” “A clown with a cape,” Bill whispered, his eyes wide with a mixture of fear and delight. “What’s our play? Infiltrate during the pinata?” “Negative. The pinata is a chaotic free-for-all. Too many flailing limbs. We wait for the main event.” Molly pointed a finger at the house. “The birthday cake.” “The cake?” Bill’s face fell. “But that’s the best part! They’re doing a volcano cake, Molly. I saw the dad carrying dry ice in.” “Precisely. When they bring out the cake, every adult will have their phone out, filming. Every child will be hypnotized by the smoking sugar. That’s our window. I’ll grab the presents, you create a diversion.” “What kind of diversion?” “Trip the magician. He’ll drop his doves, chaos will ensue, and we’ll be gone.” Bill considered this, stroking his chin. “Okay. But if I trip him, do I get to keep one of the doves? For a pet?” Molly sighed, the sound of a thousand failed heists echoing in the small, stuffy van. “No doves, Bill. Just the presents.”