Molly and Bill sat in their beat-up van, binoculars trained on the suburban house where a children's birthday party was in full swing. Colorful balloons decorated the front yard and the sound of delighted screams drifted through the van's cracked windows. "Are you sure about this, Bill?" Molly asked, adjusting her black ski mask even though they were still hidden in the van. "Stealing from kids feels like a new low, even for us." "Think about it, Mol," Bill replied, gesturing with a half-eaten donut. "Kids these days get expensive stuff. iPads, gaming consoles, those ridiculous hoverboards that keep catching fire. We're talking a minimum of five grand worth of merchandise in that living room." "Five grand?" Molly perked up slightly. "What's the security like?" "Two parents who look like they haven't slept since 2019, a teenage cousin who's been texting for the last hour, and a bouncy castle in the backyard that's definitely a safety hazard," Bill listed, ticking items off his grease-stained fingers. "The presents are all on a table by the fireplace, probably unwrapped so the kids can see what they're missing out on." "Missing out on? Bill, they're six years old. They're not missing out on anything except nap time and vegetables." "Exactly! They won't even notice until tomorrow, and by then we'll be sipping margaritas on a beach that isn't this depressing suburb," Bill said, opening the van door. "I've created a diversion." Molly raised an eyebrow. "What kind of diversion?" "I've hired a clown." Molly stared at him. "You've hired a clown?" "Not just any clown," Bill clarified proudly. "I told him it's a rival clown's party and he's there to steal their thunder. He'll be juggling fire and making balloon animals shaped like our getaway car. Genius, right?" "That's either the stupidest or most brilliant plan you've ever had," Molly admitted, checking the lock picks in her pocket. "What's the timeline?" "In five minutes, when they bring out the cake, that's our window. Everyone will be focused on blowing out candles and making wishes they'll forget by next week." "Wishes they're not going to get because we're stealing their presents," Molly muttered, though a smile was now forming on her face. "You know, for a criminal enterprise, this is pretty low-stakes." "Low risk, high reward," Bill corrected. "Plus, I'm keeping the LEGO set. Always wanted one of those spaceship kits with the little transparent pieces." "Of course you are," Molly sighed, opening her door. "Just remember, if any kid catches us, we're supposed to be delivering late presents, not stealing theirs." "Got it. We're the birthday fairy and his assistant," Bill nodded seriously. "Now let's go make some children cry."