Bill crouched behind the overflowing dumpster, the stench of discarded hot dogs warring with the sweet scent of birthday cake drifting from the open window. He adjusted his night-vision goggles, which were actually swimming goggles spray-painted black, and checked his tactical watch for the third time in a minute. The target was a suburban fortress, heavily defended by a bouncy castle, a pony, and a suspiciously alert clown making balloon animals near the back door. The sound of shrieking children filled the air, terrifying him more than any police siren ever could. He looked at the schematic drawn on a crumpled napkin, his hands trembling visibly with sheer terror. "Do you see the perimeter guard?" Bill whispered, his voice cracking. Molly peered through a gap in the wooden fence, shaking her head. "It’s a toddler on a tricycle, Bill, not a SWAT team." "Never underestimate the small ones. They bite and have zero regard for the Geneva Convention." "Just focus on the loot. We need a window while they sing." "I’ve got the entry strategy. But what about the chaotic element?" "You mean the piñata?" "Exactly. A blindfolded woman swinging a bat is a variable I cannot calculate." "We grab the presents and run. Stop overthinking the donkey." "Fine. But if I go down, delete my browser history." "Just get the gift bags, you absolute weapon."