Run: 2026-02-16-01KHK33P9VQTRZ0HSQAY0248DQ

Molly adjusted the rearview mirror, staring at the bounce house inflating in the distance. It looked like a giant pink tumor growing on the community center lawn. She tapped the steering wheel rhythmically while watching the parents arrive with their stacks of wrapped boxes. "Tell me again," Bill said, shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat of the stolen van. "Why are we robbing a kindergarten birthday party?" "Stealing," Molly corrected sharply. "And because the security is lax. Parents are distracted by cheap wine and nostalgia. They aren't looking for predators. They are looking for the bathroom or their phones." "There are clowns, Molly. Actual clowns. Balloon animals. Face paint. Glitter everywhere." "Clowns wear oversized shoes. They're slow. We strike during the cake cutting. Chaos ensues. Candles blow out. Lights dim. Perfect cover." Bill rubbed his face with both hands. "We're grown adults. We have records. I spent three years in federal prison for stealing a yacht." "And now you're worried about a pile of wrapped LEGOs and action figures?" "It feels wrong. Ethically. Morally. Spiritually. It's bad karma." "Ethically?" Molly laughed, a sharp sound in the cramped van. "Bill, we are criminals. Ethics went out the window when you fenced that microwave to a pawn shop." "That was different. That was insurance fraud. This is stealing from toddlers. It's low." "Focus. The loot is high value. Unopened Nintendo Switches. Cash envelopes. Those gift cards that never get used because parents lose them immediately." "Gift cards to Chuck E. Cheese. What am I going to do with fifty bucks of token credit? Buy a plastic ring?" "Sell them. Online. Discounted. Don't be an amateur. There is a market for everything if you look hard enough." Bill looked out the window. A parent was struggling with a piñata stick. "The mom looks tough. She's wearing heels on grass. She means business." "She's our primary obstacle. We take her out with a water balloon. Distraction technique." "Non-lethal?" "Obviously. We're not monsters. We're thieves with a niche market. We have standards." Bill sighed, reaching for the map on the dashboard. "Okay. Timeline. I create a distraction with the magician's rabbit. I let it loose." "Perfect. Release the bunny. Parents chase the animal. We grab the gift table. Bag and tag. Quick exit." "What if the kids scream? It will be loud." "Kids always scream. It blends in. Noise pollution is expected at these events. No one questions it." "And the getaway vehicle? Where is it?" "The ice cream truck. Nobody suspects the ice cream truck. It plays music. It says safety and sugar." "We don't own an ice cream truck, Molly." "We will by Tuesday. I found one on Craigslist. Needs a new compressor but runs." Bill stared at her. "You bought a vehicle before we secured the job?" "Confidence, Bill. It's all about confidence. Commitment to the bit. Now, put on the costume." Bill picked up the oversized polyester suit from the floor. "I'm not wearing the clown suit. It smells like stale popcorn and sweat." "It's camouflage. Put it on. Blend in with the entertainment. Be one of them." "I look ridiculous. I have dignity. I went to college." "You look like employment. Now move. The cake is being lit. Showtime." Bill pulled the red nose over his own. "If I get honked at by a child, I'm quitting. I mean it." "Just drive the truck. I'll handle the bags and the loot. You drive." "This is the lowest point of my criminal career. I used to wear suits." "Stop complaining. Think of the Switches. Think of the resale value. Think of retirement." "Fine. But I'm keeping the cash envelopes. That is my cut. No negotiations." "Deal. Let's roll. Drive safely. No speeding." Molly checked her watch. The second hand ticked loudly in the silence. Bill adjusted the wig. It slid over his ears. Molly smiled. It was not a nice smile.