Run: 2026-02-16-01KHK9PA0Z5Y0WKE8EE7722QN2

"Bill, you brought a spreadsheet to a birthday party?" "Molly, crime without columns is just chaos." "We're not stealing chaos; we're liberating wrapping paper." "And the mysterious boxes within, which we will ethically relocate." "Ethically? To our apartment?" "Think of it as a foster home for neglected toys." "The toys are currently loved." "Yes, but inefficiently loved; we can optimize the affection supply chain." "So what's the plan that doesn't end with frosting in my hair?" "We blend in, harness the ancient art of 'yay,' and migrate presents into this nondescript sack." "That's a unicorn backpack." "Exactly, aggressively descript." "What about cake guardians and balloon bouncers?" "We deploy diversion: I perform my acclaimed invisible magic show." "You stand still and claim things vanished." "It killed at my cousin's thanksgiving. The turkey never recovered." "Meanwhile, I what, juggle excuses?" "Yes. Say you're the Gift Auditor. Stamp things. People love stamps." "I have a potato." "Even better. Rustic credibility." "And when someone asks whose party we're here for?" "Easy: we cheer 'All of them!' Inclusivity confuses authority." "I can't believe I'm doing this in squeaky shoes." "Confidence squeaks, Molly." "And if a kid cries?" "We cry harder. Out-sad them. Works every time."