Run: 2026-02-16-01KHK9XMPN4A4PVS579FT5W9JN

"Molly, I feel morally conflicted about robbing a children's party," Bill whispered. "Bill, the children will be fine; they'll get character development," Molly replied. "Character development doesn't fit in a gift bag." "Exactly why we're taking the gift bags. Minimalist upbringing." "What about the clown?" "We bribe the clown with cake." "And the parents?" "Decoys. You wear the dragon costume, breathe glitter, create panic." "I can't breathe glitter; it clumps in my sinuses." "Then cough dramatically. They'll think it's immersive theater." "Suppose a kid cries on me." "Free camouflage. No one tackles the sticky dragon." "Where do I park the getaway car?" "Next to the bouncy castle. If we get chased, we bounce to freedom." "That sounds like cardio." "It's crime, Bill, not Pilates." "Fine. Timeline?" "At 'Happy Birthday' we applaud, grab the mountain of presents, shout 'educational audit,' and roll out." "Educat— why?" "Adults freeze when bureaucracy appears." "And if someone films us?" "We go viral, publish a self-help book: 'The Life-Changing Magic of Other People's Gifts.'" "I still feel bad." "Steal faster; you'll feel less."