Run: 2026-02-16-01KHKABSGE9ZTX1C8BSEJ9AHG1

Molly and Bill sat in the idling van with party balloons ticking against the roof like nervous confetti. Night varnished the cul-de-sac; the house across the street resembled a lit-up gingerbread diorama where an army of children had been briefly victorious. They had planned other capers—museums with velvet ropes, banks with snooty potted plants—but tonight felt absurd even to them, a candy-coated moral slip. They were not cruel; they were ridiculous. Molly checked a crumpled list and pretended to squint at the trashy superhero napkins as though they contained state secrets. Bill hummed tunelessly and practiced a solemn eyebrow raise he called his “gentle villain.” He smelled faintly of salted popcorn and ambition. Both of them could already see the confetti aftermath: sequined toppers, half-eaten cupcakes, the slow-motion betrayal of glitter. It was a job that only made sense on paper, and paper loved ridiculous plans. They exchanged glances, knowingly. Molly: "We go in, grab the presents, leave." Bill: "That's it?" Molly: "That's the gist. Add flair." Bill: "Flair how? Capes? Tiny top hats?" Molly: "Top hats. Also confetti cannons, but tasteful." Bill: "Tasteful confetti? Like the quiet kind?" Molly: "The kind that apologizes afterward." Bill: "We steal gifts and leave cupcakes?" Molly: "Cupcakes are negotiable. We'll take the sparkle, leave crumbs." Bill: "What about the birthday cake?" Molly: "Cake is an emotional hazard. We admire from a respectful distance." Bill: "And the piñata?" Molly: "Piñata's for the kids. We will donate our best analogies." Bill: "Geoffrey?" Molly: "Only on Tuesdays. He brings cake metaphors." Bill: "And the kids?" Molly: "Kids will think we're part of the show. We will be professional confusers." Bill: "Professional confusers? There's a union?" Molly: "No, but there should be. We get membership cards." Bill: "What about a getaway?" Molly: "We ride off on tiny tricycles." Bill: "Tiny tricycles? With streamers?" Molly: "Streamers, bells, maybe a kazoo." Bill: "A kazoo? Really?" Molly: "Imagine the confusion. It will be legendary." Bill: "Legendary confusion. I like the sound of that." Molly: "Also, optional glitter. Cautionary." Bill: "Glitter? You know that's permanent in our hearts?" Molly: "Hearts and eyebrows." Bill: "Final check. Commitment?" Molly: "Commitment. Costume?" Bill: "Clown-mime suit?" Molly: "Clown-mime suit. With sequins." Bill: "Sequins win." Molly: "Remember, we take only what's amusing." Bill: "Amusing how? By twinkle?" Molly: "By twinkle and narrative necessity." Bill: "And cupcakes? final call?" Molly: "Cupcakes are a scene stealer. Take one, leave."