Run: 2026-02-16-01KHKADVD5BNR9EZF3FZDGVX8Q

Molly sat on a dusty folding chair under the glow of a single motel lamp while Bill traced a plan on a napkin with the tip of a crooked pencil. They spoke in the soft conspiratorial tones of professionals who had learned to be absurdly calm about criminal nonsense. Outside the window children shrieked and a party horn sounded like an alarm in a different life. They were going to the house on Maple, Molly said, they would be unseen and exceptionally polite. Politeness had always been part of their routine, a costume that fit the sticky fingers of a nursery. Bill nodded and adjusted a ridiculous bow tie that was not part of the outfit but made him feel theatrical. They planned the timing like bakers: a quick window between cake and Santa, chaos in miniature and the perfect cover. Molly checked a list of possible exits, routes disguised by hedges and a neighbor's tall fence, and smiled at the practical poetry of it. It was not only about presents; it was an absurd moral experiment about generosity and who actually read the fine print on invitations. They practiced whispers like a duet and rehearsed the clumsy empathy they would display if caught with a pink teddy. Outside, a dog barked, then silence; inside, the cake timer would buzz and the little humans would roar. Molly produced a tiny camera and winked at the absurd ethics of documenting their own mischief. Bill humored her, tapping his cuffs with solemnity. Molly We go in at eight right now Bill Eight is cake cutting chaos ideal Molly I'll bring polite empathy and a floral napkin Bill I will be the inconspicuous magician with a limp hat and a very sad smile Molly What about the car We need a getaway with a trunk big enough for inflatables Bill My van is camouflaged as a baby gear delivery complete with ribbon and a suspiciously squeaky horn Molly We'll stage a decoy—Balloon boy stumbles we perform a rescue outcome presents in our arms Bill Parents applauding always improves the moral optics which matters to us deeply for reasons I won't explain Molly What about witnesses Cameras are everywhere especially on tiny phones wielded by tyrannical toddlers Bill We will wear party masks not creepy ones tasteful animal faces slightly absurd to redirect suspicion Molly And the gifts We sort by size then by potential re-gift value then by how loudly a robot dog will scream Bill Small AV equipment first then shiny boxed toys avoid anything labeled 'fragile' unless we can feign sentimental mishap Molly I can cry on cue I took an online class called Weeping for Theft Bill Perfect Also you are in charge of sweets Sugar confuses everyone including security guards Molly What if a toddler insists a present is theirs We return a sticker and a heartfelt apology Bill Stickers are the currency of remorse Make it glittery They forgive glitter immediately Molly Then we go home very quietly