Run: 2026-02-16-01KHKAFMJGQJEPV10A83W7G0R6

"Stop pacing, Molly, you're wearing a groove in the sidewalk." "I'm rehearsing my innocent face, Bill. Look—do I scream 'beloved' 'clown' or 'felonious' 'aunt'?" "Somewhere between 'lost' 'babysitter' and 'escaped' 'raccoon.'" "Perfect, raccoons are nature's thieves. Now, the presents are under the balloon arch, right?" "Yeah, right between the bouncy castle and the chocolate fountain of doom." "Any operation involving chocolate fountains is doomed. Kids turn into syrup-coated linebackers." "That's why we blend in. I carry the empty gift bag, you carry the emotional support balloon." "An emotional support balloon?" "People respect a grown man clutching a balloon, Bill. It screams, 'I'm responsible for someone small.'" "It screams, 'I missed therapy.' But fine. After we infiltrate, what's phase two?" "Compliment the cake, create distraction. I shout, 'Is that a unicorn with realistic tax documentation?' All adults rush over." "Kids don't care about tax documentation." "Yeah, but parents do. They can't resist paperwork drama." "While they're panicking over deductible sprinkles, we sweep the presents into the gift bag." "If a kid cries?" "We promise to send postcards from College Fund Island." "Not a real place." "Neither is Santa's workshop, but look at turnout." "Remind me we're good guys?" "We're redistributing glitter."