Run: 2026-02-16-01KHKAYZB4RQ7ZHNF06Y70PNQQ

"The invitation says five o'clock, Bill. Do we synchronize watches or juice boxes?" "We synchronize our consciences, Molly. We're about to mug a piñata." "Not the piñata, the presents. Focus. Tiny-wrapping-paper mountains of capitalist excess." "Right, Robin Hood for degenerates. How do we blend in with children?" "You already whine, that’s half the work. Put on the dinosaur hat." "This has three glittery horns." "Congratulations, you’re now a festive triceratops of crime." "If someone asks, I’m the emotional support dinosaur." "Perfect. I’ll be the underpaid party magician. I’ll say, 'For my next trick, I’ll make your gifts disappear'." "That’s not a trick, that’s a confession." "Kids never listen unless you’re made of sugar or Wi‑Fi." "Security?" "One exhausted clown, two parents on their phones, and a grandma that moves at dial‑up speed." "Grandmas have peripheral vision like satellites, Molly." "Then we exploit the blind spot: cake time. Frosting, chaos, boom, we sweep the loot into the laundry bag." "You brought a laundry bag?" "Clean crime, Bill. Environmentally responsible larceny." "What about the birthday kid?" "We leave one present. Mysterious, unlabelled, moral character‑building." "What’s inside?" "A note: 'Sometimes life steals your stuff. Have cake anyway.'" They grinned from behind the hedge.