Run: 2026-02-16-01KHM639SWM3AT968W7SPJ3RWE

The neon lights of the diner flickered, casting a sickly glow over Molly’s half-eaten plate of fries. She leaned in, her voice a conspiratorial whisper. “Okay, hear me out. A children’s party. No security, no dogs, just a bunch of sugar-crazed toddlers and a piñata.” Bill stirred his coffee with a plastic spoon, his brow furrowed. “You want us to rob a bunch of six-year-olds?” “Not the kids, genius. The presents. Think about it—brand-new toys, gift cards, maybe even some cash stuffed in envelopes by clueless grandparents. It’s the easiest score of our lives.” Bill sighed, rubbing his temples. “Molly, we’ve hit banks, jewelry stores—” “And how’d that work out? Last time, you got stuck in a ventilation shaft for three hours.” “That was one time.” “And the time before that, you mistook a fire alarm for a silent alarm.” Bill glared. “Fine. But how do we even get in? We’re not exactly on the guest list.” Molly grinned, pulling a crumpled flyer from her pocket. “Little Timmy’s Superhero Birthday Bash. RSVP by Saturday. All we need are some costumes and a kid to pretend is ours.” “We don’t have a kid.” “Details. We borrow one.” Bill choked on his coffee. “You want to kidnap a child?” “No, you walnut. We rent one. There’s gotta be a kid somewhere who’d trade an hour of their time for, like, fifty bucks and a promise to smash the cake first.” Bill drummed his fingers on the table. “This is insane.” “Insane? Or brilliant?” “Mostly insane.” Molly rolled her eyes. “Look, it’s low risk. We walk in, blend in, grab the gifts when no one’s looking, and walk out. If anyone asks, we’re just really invested parents.” Bill hesitated. “What if the kid rats us out?” “What’s he gonna say? ‘These weirdos paid me to go to a party’? He’ll sound like a tiny lunatic.” Bill stared into his coffee like it held the answers. “Okay, say we pull this off. How do we carry out all the presents?” Molly’s grin widened. “We bring a stroller. Empty it going in, fill it going out. No one questions a stroller at a kid’s party.” Bill groaned. “I can’t believe I’m considering this.” “That’s the spirit! Now, all we need is a kid, some costumes, and—” “A way to live with ourselves after stealing from a bunch of toddlers.” Molly waved a hand. “Pfft. They’ll get over it. Kids are resilient.” Bill exhaled, defeated. “Fine. But if this goes south, I’m blaming you.” Molly clapped her hands. “Perfect! Now, let’s go find ourselves a tiny accomplice.” Bill muttered under his breath as they stood, “I used to have standards.” Molly slung an arm around his shoulders. “And now you have a stroller full of loot. Progress.”