Run: 2026-02-17-01KHMPDY4FVR99N9ZXQ75S2ZY5

Run Details

Model:: Rocinante 12B
Test:: Bad Writing Habits
Scenario:: Fantasy: entering an ancient ruin
Duration:: 31.0s
Cost:: $0.000781
Provider:: NextBit

Model input

System

You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue.

You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex.

Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.

User/Human

<codex>
<character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist">
  <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor>
  <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair>
  <height>5'6"</height>
  <age>25</age>
  <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar>
  <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description>
  <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory>
</character>

<character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card">
  <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor>
  <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height>
  <age>ageless</age>
  <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form>
  <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice>
  <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description>
  <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory>
</character>

<character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle">
  <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor>
  <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair>
  <height>5'5"</height>
  <age>300 years old</age>
  <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance>
  <speech>speaks in riddles</speech>
  <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints>
  <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion>
  <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description>
  <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory>
</character>

<location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony">
  <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler>
  <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor>
  <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description>
</location>

<location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)">
  <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation>
  <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones>
  <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior>
  <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora>
  <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description>
</location>

<item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas">
  <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor>
  <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial>
  <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size>
  <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior>
  <glow>faint inner glow</glow>
  <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description>
</item>

<item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts">
  <material>moonsilver</material>
  <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape>
  <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature>
  <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow>
  <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power>
  <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo>
  <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description>
</item>

<lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology">
  <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect>
  <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance>
  <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring>
  <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description>
</lore>
</codex>

Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre.

A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition.

Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore.
Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

The portal opened with a crackle of energy, a swirling vortex of shadow and light. Rory peered through cautiously, eyes adjusting to the sudden change. Gone was the familiar graffiti-scrawled alley of London; in its place stood an alien landscape that stole her breath.

Nyx emerged first, solidifying into a shadowy silhouette that took on a humanoid form. They spoke in a whisper, voice carrying on the wind. "Welcome to Dymas, the realm of Gluttony."

Rory stepped through, heart pounding, the Heartstone amulet pounding like a second heartbeat against her chest. The sensation was disorienting, like walking between raindrops. One moment she was in London, the next, standing on a path of crushed, glittery stone.

Unfamiliar scents hung in the air—spices, roasted meats, sweet fruits—and assaulted her senses. Rory inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring. The aroma was rich and heady, almost intoxicating. Hunger stirred within her, gnawing insistent emptiness she hadn't realized until now.

"By the gods..." Laila murmured, hand coming to rest on the curved hilt of her fae-forged dagger. She took a tentative step forward. "It's real."

Before them stretched a sprawling landscape of undulating hills of verdant grass interspersed with jewel-colored fields of crops. Groves of trees bursting with fruit lined the way, heavy boughs laden down. Rory reached out to pluck a plump, black-skinned fruit, rubbing it between her palms. Its skin was waxy and leathery, but it crackled at her touch, leaking fragrant juices.

"Rory, be careful!" Laila reached out a warning hand, voice strained. Rory froze, looking down at the fruit which quivered, then shuddered and fell to the ground, withering and rotting before their eyes.

"What in the Names..." Rory breathed, fingers still tingling. The hunger within her twisted, growing sharper, more desperate. She rubbed her hands on her jeans, trying to scrub away the residue of wrongness. The flesh of the fruit was unnatural, un quadratic.

Nyx glided forward until they were at Rory's elbow, gaze sweeping the distance in a continuous, contemplative turn. "Be cautious, Laila. This isn't like the mortal world. The hungers here obey their own rules."

"What do you mean 'this isn't like the mortal world? We're not mortal anymore.'" Rory dumped the withered fruit, wiping her hands, if only to distract from the hungry quivering inside her. The urge to consume, to binge, was rising. She shook her head violently, trying to clear it. No. Not here, Not now~

Nyx turned to her, violet eyes cool and speculative. "You're not mortal anymore, but you're not ghouls like the rest of us. You still have bridges to the mortal world. You can't let Dymas' hungers overwhelm you~"

Rory forced herself to nod, pushing down on the hunger that clawed at her. She couldn't let this bum rush her, couldn't let whatever purpose had brought them to this realm get consumed under the weight of the Demon's inhuman appetites. They had a purpose here~

Regrouping, they pressed forward, the path winding up and out of the amaranth-hued fields, climbing hills liberally sown with exotic flowers the likes of which Rory had never seen. It was like walking through an otherworldly garden, colors shifting and blurring at the edges.

They crested a rise and Rory stopped cold, boots planted on the fractured stone beneath them. Before them, the land spread out in undulating waves, alternating fields of crops, orchards and vineyards farther than the eye could see. Sparkling in the distance, double suns beat down on Dymas' horizon, casting everything in a warm amber glow.

"Bloody Hell," Laila breathed, voice hushed. Rory glanced over at her friend, saw that Laila's neck and cheeks were dusted with a faint sheen of sweat. 

The air had shifted. Heavier, thicker, permeated with the heady scents of impending feast. Powerful, almost tangible, urge to indulge swelled within Rory and she pressed a shaking hand to her mouth, inhaling sharply. This entire plane thrummed with a hungry hunger, a need to consume that demanded to be filled.

It would be so easy to lose herself here. Gorging on sweets, meats and fruits, letting their appetites consume her. But those lips were soft and warm against the curve of her neck...

No. Rory shook her head to clear it, anger surging in hurriedly. She wouldn't let herself fall to that. She couldn't think about her freaking gnawing hunger. They had a purpose. And they would be damned if they let it corrode their mission before it even began~

Straightening her spine, Rory pressed forward, feet moving her up and over the hill, hearing Laila and Nyx fall in step behind her. If this realm of gluttony wanted them to fall to hunger and desire, they would take it back with their mission in front of them. Let the hungers flow through them like water. Breathe. Take. Stop.

And they would not allow Hell to consume them.

Ahead, they could see the spires and ESTATES of the Dymasian feasting-halls in the distance, like trumpets calling them forward~

Evaluation details

Result

Evaluator

Details

Meta Data

100.0000%

Adverbs in dialogue tags

Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs

totalTags	2
adverbTagCount	0
adverbTags	(empty)

76.1051%

AI-ism adverb frequency

Target: <1% AI-ism adverbs (57 tracked)

wordCount

837

totalAiIsmAdverbs

found

adverb	"cautiously"
count	1

adverb	"sharply"
count	1

highlights

0	"cautiously"
1	"sharply"

100.0000%

AI-ism character names

Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)

codexExemptions	(empty)
found	(empty)

100.0000%

AI-ism location names

Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)

codexExemptions	(empty)
found	(empty)

28.3154%

AI-ism word frequency

Target: <1% AI-ism words (140 tracked)

wordCount

837

totalAiIsms

found

word	"tangible"
count	1

word	"glided"
count	1

word	"quivered"
count	1

word	"otherworldly"
count	1

word	"fractured"
count	1

word	"weight"
count	1

highlights

0	"tangible"
1	"glided"
2	"quivered"
3	"otherworldly"
4	"fractured"
5	"weight"

100.0000%

Cliche density

Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window

totalCliches

maxInWindow

found

label	"hung in the air"
count	1

highlights

0	"hung in the air"

100.0000%

Emotion telling (show vs. tell)

Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling

emotionTells	0
narrationSentences	62
matches	(empty)

100.0000%

Filter word density

Target: ≤12% sentences with filter/hedge words

filterCount	0
hedgeCount	0
narrationSentences	62
filterMatches	(empty)
hedgeMatches	(empty)

100.0000%

Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)

Target: ≤10% sentences with "that" clauses

thatCount

totalSentences

matches

0	"saw that Laila's"

50.0346%

Paragraph length variance

Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts

totalParagraphs

mean

39.48

std

12.83

0.325

sampleLengths

0	44
1	31
2	40
3	38
4	25
5	60
6	33
7	42
8	34
9	54
10	37
11	46
12	44
13	56
14	26
15	51
16	33
17	47
18	59
19	9
20	20

100.0000%

Passive voice overuse

Target: ≤5% passive sentences

passiveCount

totalSentences

matches

0	"get consumed"
1	"were dusted"

100.0000%

Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse

Target: ≤10% past progressive verbs

pastProgressiveCount

totalVerbs

147

matches

0	"was disorienting"
1	"was rising"

94.0000%

Purple prose (modifier overload)

Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking

wordCount

758

adjectiveStacks

stackExamples

0	"familiar graffiti-scrawled alley"

adverbCount

adverbRatio

0.026385224274406333

lyAdverbCount

lyAdverbRatio

0.010554089709762533

100.0000%

Repeated phrase echo

Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)

totalSentences	66
echoCount	0
echoWords	(empty)

100.0000%

Sentence length variance

Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts

totalSentences

mean

12.56

std

7.22

0.575

sampleLengths

0	15
1	10
2	19
3	14
4	10
5	7
6	16
7	8
8	16
9	13
10	5
11	8
12	12
13	17
14	6
15	2
16	18
17	13
18	14
19	15
20	11
21	22
22	9
23	9
24	15
25	9
26	18
27	16
28	32
29	8
30	9
31	1
32	4
33	9
34	28
35	14
36	27
37	5
38	29
39	15
40	16
41	22
42	18
43	6
44	20
45	4
46	10
47	20
48	17
49	9

87.8788%

Sentence opener variety

Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers

consecutiveRepeats	2
diversityRatio	0.5454545454545454
totalSentences	66
uniqueOpeners	36

0.0000%

Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)

Target: ≤30% fancy dialogue tags

totalTags

fancyCount

fancyTags

0	"murmured (murmur)"
1	"Laila breathed, voice hushed (breathe, hush)"

84.4902%