AI The green neon of the sign bled through the rain-slicked window, casting a sickly glow over the glasses lined up along the bar. Rory wiped her hands on her jeans and slid onto her usual stool—the one closest to the wall, the one that let her keep her back to the old maps and her eyes on the door. Habit, she told herself. Not paranoia. There was a difference, though some nights the line blurred until she couldn't find it anymore.
Silas set a gin and tonic in front of her without being asked . The ice cracked as it settled.
"You look like someone pissed in your porridge," he said.
"Charming." She wrapped her fingers around the glass but didn't drink. "Long shift. Yu-Fei had me running orders to Brixton. Twice."
"Brixton." He said it the way he said most things—flatly, with just enough inflection to suggest he was filing the information away for later. He polished a tumbler with a cloth that had seen better decades, his silver signet ring catching the low light. "You eat?"
"I'll eat upstairs."
"You won't. You'll fall asleep on that couch with your shoes on and wake up at three in the morning starving." He reached below the bar and produced a plate of chips. They were cold, probably left over from someone's abandoned order, but they were there, and that was Silas. He never offered things warmly . He just made sure they existed in your proximity and let you come to your own conclusions.
Rory ate a chip. Then another. The bar was nearly empty for a Thursday—just a couple murmuring in the far booth and a solitary man nursing a pint by the window. The black-and-white photographs on the walls watched everything with their fixed, silver-gelatin stares: men in hats, women in gloves, cityscapes that no longer existed. She'd asked Silas once if any of the people in the photographs were people he'd known. He'd said, "Some of them," and changed the subject with the practiced ease of a man who'd spent thirty years making sure conversations went exactly where he wanted them to go.
The door opened. A gust of wet October air pushed in ahead of the woman who entered, and Rory glanced up out of reflex—the door-watching habit again—and then her hand stopped halfway to her mouth, a chip suspended in the air between the plate and her lips like a small fried question mark.
The woman was tall, angular, expensively dressed in a way that looked effortless but wasn't. Dark wool coat, heeled boots that had no business walking on rain-soaked Soho pavement. Her hair was shorter than Rory remembered—cropped close at the sides, swept back—and lighter, a deliberate honey blonde that replaced the deep brown of every memory Rory had of her. But the walk was the same. That particular way of moving through a room like she was already certain it would rearrange itself around her.
Maren Boyle.
Rory set the chip down.
Maren hadn't seen her yet. She was scanning the room the way people do when they're early for something, or lost, or pretending to be neither. Her gaze swept past the couple, past the man by the window, past the maps and photographs—and then it caught on Rory the way a thread catches on a nail, sudden and snagging.
For a moment neither of them moved. The green neon pulsed. Silas, who missed nothing, glanced between them with the quiet alertness of a man who'd once made a career out of reading rooms.
"Rory?" Maren said. Not quite a question. More like she was testing the word, checking if it still fit in her mouth.
"Maren."
Maren crossed the bar in six steps—those long legs, those impractical boots—and stopped a few feet short of the stool, as though she'd planned to embrace her and then thought better of it at the last second. Up close, the changes were more granular. Fine lines around her eyes that hadn't been there at twenty-one. A sharpness to her cheekbones that owed something to years and something, Rory suspected, to deliberate deprivation. She wore small gold earrings. She'd never worn gold before. She'd said it was bourgeois, back when she said things like that.
"My God," Maren said. "It's been—"
"Five years. Almost six."
"Has it?" But she knew. Rory could see that she knew. People always performed that small arithmetic of surprise, pretending the number was bigger or vaguer than the one they'd been carrying in their heads.
"Sit down," Rory said, because standing there with the silence stretching between them was worse.
Maren sat. Silas materialized in front of her with the unhurried precision of a man who understood that timing was everything.
"What can I get you?"
"Do you have a Sancerre?"
"I have a Sauvignon Blanc from a bottle I opened yesterday."
Maren looked at him. Silas looked back. His hazel eyes were perfectly neutral. This was a contest Maren was not going to win, though she didn't know it yet.
"That's fine," she said.
He poured. He left.
Rory took a sip of her gin and tonic and let the silence hold for another beat. The rain intensified against the window. The green neon sign buzzed with the faint, persistent hum of something not quite properly grounded.
"I didn't expect—" Maren started. "I mean, what are you doing in Soho?"
"I live here. Upstairs, actually." Rory gestured vaguely at the ceiling. "What are you doing in Soho?"
"Meeting someone. Work thing. They cancelled twenty minutes ago, and I was already in a cab, so." She waved a hand. "I just walked in off the street."
"Of all the bars in all the towns."
Maren smiled, but it was the careful, constructed smile of someone who'd learned to manage her face. Not the wide, reckless grin Rory remembered from lecture halls and crowded pubs in Cardiff, from the night they'd shared a stolen bottle of prosecco on the roof of the library and Maren had shouted poetry into the dark—actual poetry, Yeats, badly recited but full-throated—while Rory laughed so hard her ribs ached.
"You look good," Maren said.
"You look different."
A pause. Maren touched her hair, self-conscious for the first time. "I changed a few things."
"A few."
"You're still direct. That hasn't changed."
"One of my enduring qualities." Rory ate another chip, chewing slowly . "So. Work thing. What's the work?"
"I'm at Clifford Chance. Commercial litigation."
Rory's eyebrows rose before she could stop them. "You're joking."
"I'm not."
"Maren Boyle. Clifford Chance. You—the girl who called corporate law 'the genteel face of systemic violence' in our second-year seminar."
"I was twenty. Everyone says stupid things at twenty."
"You didn't think it was stupid at the time. You nearly made Professor Harding cry."
Maren took a long sip of her wine. The glass was smudged where her fingers held it—she'd been out in the rain longer than she'd let on. "People change, Rory."
"They do."
It hung there between them, weight ed with more than the obvious. Rory traced the crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist, an old habit, barely conscious. She thought about the last time she'd seen Maren—a pub in Cardiff, Maren halfway through her third glass of wine and talking about the internship she'd just been offered , the one in Brussels, the one that was going to change everything. Rory had been three months into her relationship with Evan by then, already starting to feel the walls close in, already starting to make herself smaller in ways she didn't yet have language for. Maren had said, Come with me. Just leave. And Rory had said, I can't. And Maren had looked at her with an expression that Rory later identified as the precise face of someone watching a friend make a choice they'll spend years paying for.
They hadn't fought about it. That was the thing. There'd been no blowout, no dramatic severing. Maren had gone to Brussels. Rory had stayed. The texts got less frequent, then stopped. The gap grew until it was no longer a gap but a distance, and distance, unlike a gap, doesn't demand to be crossed. It just exists. You learn to live on your side of it.
"I heard about Evan," Maren said quietly.
Rory's hand stilled on her wrist. "From who?"
"Eva. We ran into each other at a thing in Hackney, maybe a year ago. She told me you'd moved to London. She didn't give details, but I—" Maren turned the wineglass on the bar, a slow rotation. "I could infer."
"Right."
"I should have called."
"You should have."
The words came out even, almost flat, but they landed like something dropped from height. Maren flinched—a small, controlled flinch, the kind that corporate litigation probably trained into you: minimal exposure of the wound.
"I know," she said.
"Do you know," Rory said, and stopped. She pressed her thumb hard against the scar. "Do you know what it was like, that first month in London? I was sleeping on Eva's floor. I had a bag of clothes and forty pounds and a phone full of messages from a man who'd told me for two years that I was nothing, that no one else would ever—" She stopped again. The couple in the far booth had gone quiet. She lowered her voice. "I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty."
"Aren't you?"
"No. I'm telling you because you said you should have called, and I want you to understand what that means. What it would have meant. One call, Maren. One bloody call."
Maren's jaw tightened. She stared at the bar surface—scarred wood, rings from a thousand glasses—and Rory watched something move behind her eyes, some architecture of justification assembling and then collapsing under its own weight .
"I was afraid," Maren said at last.
"Of what?"
"That you'd say you were fine. That you'd shut me out the way you always did when things got bad. And I'd be standing there on the phone knowing you were lying, and I'd have to decide whether to push or to let it go, and I—" She exhaled. "I didn't want to be the person who let it go. So I made sure I never had to choose."
Rory stared at her. The honesty of it was startling —not because it was brave, but because it was so precisely , devastatingly small. All that distance. All that silence. Because Maren Boyle, who had once shouted Yeats from a rooftop, had been afraid of an awkward phone call.
"That's a shit reason," Rory said.
"I know it is."
"And it's honest."
"Yes."
Rory picked up her gin and tonic and drank. The ice had melted. It was mostly water now, with a memory of juniper. She set it down and looked at Maren—really looked, past the new hair and the gold earrings and the expensive coat—and found, beneath it all, the same girl who'd once pressed a dog-eared copy of Beloved into her hands in a campus bookshop and said, Read this, it will ruin you, in a tone that made ruination sound like a gift.
"You're at Clifford Chance," Rory said.
"I'm at Clifford Chance."
"And you like it?"
Maren opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. "I'm good at it."
"That's not what I asked."
A long silence. Somewhere behind them, Silas's slight limp tapped its familiar rhythm across the floor as he collected glasses. The green neon buzzed.
"No," Maren said softly . "I don't like it."
Rory nodded. She didn't say she was sorry, because Maren hadn't said she was sorry either—not really , not the way sorry needed to be said after six years and silence and all the things that silence had contained. But they sat there, the two of them, at a bar in Soho on a Thursday night in October, and the rain came down, and the old photographs watched from the walls with their patient, faded eyes, and for a moment the distance between them was just a distance—not a wall, not a wound, just the measurable space between two people who had once been close and might, given enough time and enough gin and enough willingness to sit in the discomfort of what they'd lost, find their way to something that wasn't forgiveness, exactly, but might be its first, tentative neighbor.
"Another round?" Silas called from behind the bar, not looking up.
Rory glanced at Maren. Maren glanced at Rory.
"Yeah," Rory said. "Another round."