Run: 2026-02-17-01KHNF1GC16Y8DQ0S6FM1JT2NA

Run Details

Duration:
2m 15s
Cost:
$0.292935

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon of The Raven's Nest cast sickly shadows across the rain-slicked pavement as Aurora pushed through the heavy door. The familiar smell of whiskey and old wood wrapped around her like a worn coat. She'd meant to head straight up to her flat—the delivery shift at the Golden Empress had left her smelling of sesame oil and exhaustion—but the sound of Silas laughing, really laughing, pulled her toward the bar. He stood behind the polished mahogany, his grey-streaked auburn beard catching the amber light as he poured for someone Aurora couldn't quite see. The slight favor he gave his right leg was more pronounced tonight. Bad weather always made the old injury worse. "—and then Morrison says, 'That's not a diplomat, that's my wife!'" The voice sent ice through Aurora's veins. She knew that voice, knew the precise cadence of its storytelling, the way it rose and fell like tide against familiar shores. Silas wiped tears from his eyes, still chuckling. "Christ, Eva. Haven't heard that one in years." Eva. Of course it was Eva. Aurora's feet had already started their retreat when Silas spotted her. "Rory! Perfect timing. Look who wandered in from the rain." Eva turned on her barstool, and for a moment, neither woman moved. Five years had sharpened Eva's features, carved elegant hollows beneath cheekbones that had once been round with youth and cheap wine. Her hair, which Aurora remembered as a chaotic mass of copper curls, now fell in sleek waves past her shoulders. The ratty band t-shirts and ripped jeans had given way to a charcoal suit that probably cost more than Aurora made in three months. "Rory." Eva's voice caught on the nickname, as if she'd forgotten she had the right to use it. "It's Aurora now." The correction came out harder than intended. Aurora forced herself forward, each step measured. "Hello, Eva." Silas's hazel eyes flicked between them, reading the tension with the practiced ease of a man who'd spent decades parsing hostile territories. He reached for another glass. "Whiskey?" "Just water." Aurora slid onto a stool, leaving an empty seat between them. The small crescent scar on her wrist caught the light as she rested her hands on the bar. "Long day." "Still at the Golden Empress?" Eva's perfectly manicured fingers—when had she started getting manicures?—wrapped around her tumbler. "Mrs. Cheung still trying to set you up with her nephew?" The familiar reference sat wrong in Eva's mouth, like hearing a stranger hum your mother's lullaby. "Yu-Fei's good to me." "That's not what I asked." "No," Aurora said, accepting the water Silas slid her way. "It's not." The silence stretched taut. Somewhere in the back, pipes groaned their age. The black-and-white photographs on the walls—Silas in Prague, in Moscow, in a dozen cities Aurora couldn't name—watched like patient ghosts. "I didn't know you were in London," Eva finally said. She'd always been the one to break first, Aurora remembered. Even when they were kids in Cardiff, building blanket forts in the Carter's living room while Aurora's father worked late on his cases. "Three years now." Eva's eyes widened. "Three years? But I thought—your parents never said—" "You still talk to my parents?" The question came out sharp enough to draw blood. "Christmas cards. The occasional call." Eva turned her glass, watching the whiskey catch the light. "Your mum always asks if I've heard from you." Aurora's jaw tightened. Of course her mother would keep in touch with Eva. Jennifer Carter collected people like some women collected shoes, never willing to let anyone go, never understanding why her daughter might need distance from everyone who'd known her before. "She worries," Eva added softly. "She shouldn't." Silas moved down the bar, giving them space while staying within earshot—an old spy's habit. His signet ring clicked against glasses as he pretended to busy himself with inventory. "You look good," Eva said. "Different, but good." Aurora almost laughed. Different. As if she hadn't torn herself apart and rebuilt from scratch. As if the girl who'd fled Cardiff with nothing but a rucksack and her best friend's promise of a couch to crash on hadn't had to die for Aurora to survive. "You look rich," Aurora countered. Eva's laugh was bitter coffee and regret. "Mergers and acquisitions. Turns out all those hours we spent debating in the student union actually prepared me for something." She paused. "I kept waiting for you to show up at chambers. Your dad had that placement all lined up—" "I left Pre-Law." Aurora took a sip of water, let it wash away the taste of old arguments. "Wasn't for me." "Because of Evan?" The name hit like a slap. Aurora's hand stilled on her glass, the scar on her wrist suddenly burning with phantom pain. In her peripheral vision, she saw Silas straighten, alert to the shift in tension. "Don't." The word came out low, dangerous. "Rory—Aurora. I'm sorry. I didn't mean—" "Yes, you did." Aurora met her eyes, saw Eva flinch at whatever she found there. "You always mean exactly what you say. It's what made you such a good debater." "And you always knew how to twist the knife," Eva shot back, then immediately deflated. "Shit. I'm sorry. That's not—I didn't come here to fight." "Why did you come here?" Eva gestured vaguely at the bar, at Silas, at the photographs of cities and secrets. "Networking event down the street. Saw the sign and remembered—" She stopped, started again. "I've been in London for two years. I always wondered if you made it here. If you were okay. When you stopped answering my calls, I thought maybe—" "I changed my number." "I know. I tried to—" Eva took a long pull of whiskey. "I went to your parents. They didn't know where you were. Your mum cried. Your dad just looked… hollow." Aurora's chest tightened. She could picture it too clearly: her mother's tears, her father's disappointed silence. The weight of being Brendan Carter's daughter, the one who was supposed to follow in his footsteps, who threw it all away for reasons she couldn't—wouldn't—explain. "They're better off," she said. "They're not." Eva's voice carried the authority of someone who'd sat across their kitchen table, who'd seen the empty chair and the photos turned face-down. "And neither are you." "You don't know anything about me anymore." "I know you're delivering takeaway when you could be arguing cases. I know you're living above a bar instead of—" "Instead of what?" Aurora's voice rose. "Instead of staying in Cardiff? Instead of pretending everything was fine? Instead of letting Evan—" She bit off the words, aware of the other patrons, of Silas's worried glance. Eva went very still. "I didn't know how bad it was. You never told me." "I tried." "No, you hinted. You made jokes. You showed up with bruises and called them clumsy." Eva's composure cracked, revealing something raw underneath. "And then one day you just called and said 'I'm leaving' and I had twelve hours to find you somewhere to stay before you showed up on my doorstep looking like—" She stopped, swallowed. "Looking like someone I didn't recognize." The memory hung between them: Aurora, hollow-eyed and shaking, standing in Eva's London doorway with everything she owned in a single bag. The promises made in desperation. The friendship that couldn't survive the weight of what had driven her there. "I scared you," Aurora said quietly. "You terrified me." Eva's laugh was waterlogged. "My brilliant, indestructible best friend, reduced to—" She gestured helplessly. "And I didn't know how to help. Everything I suggested, you shot down. Every time I tried to talk about it, you shut me out. And then you just… vanished." "You wanted me to press charges. To go back. To face him in court with my father watching from the gallery." "I wanted you to fight back!" "I was fighting." Aurora's voice dropped to barely above a whisper. "Getting up every morning was fighting. Learning to sleep without checking the locks twelve times was fighting. Building a life where no one knew who I used to be—that was fighting." Eva's eyes glistened. "I know that now. I didn't then. I was twenty-three and thought I could fix everything with the right argument, the right logic." She laughed bitterly. "Turns out you can't debate someone out of trauma. Who knew?" Despite everything, Aurora felt her lips twitch. "They should add that to the law school curriculum." "Right after 'Your Best Friend Isn't Your Client' and 'Some Problems Can't Be Solved with Precedent.'" They sat in the almost-comfortable silence that followed, the ghost of who they'd been flickering between them. Aurora could almost see her: the girl who'd dreamed of following her father's footsteps, who'd debated constitutional law over cheap wine in Eva's student flat, who'd thought love was supposed to hurt just a little, until it hurt too much. "I looked for you," Eva said finally. "For months. I called every chamber in London, thinking maybe you'd changed your mind about law. Checked with all the old uni crowd. Even hired a private investigator for a bit, until that felt too much like—" "Like something he would do." Eva nodded. "I kept your room for a year. Just in case." The kindness of it was almost unbearable. Aurora had convinced herself that Eva had been relieved when she left, freed from the burden of a friend too broken to fix. But a kept room, a hired investigator, calls to parents who had no answers—that was grief. That was love with nowhere to go. "I needed to disappear," Aurora said. "It wasn't about you." "I know that now." Eva finished her whiskey, gestured to Silas for another. "Therapy's a wonderful thing." "You? In therapy?" Aurora couldn't hide her surprise. The Eva she'd known believed any problem could be solved with enough research and determination. "Turns out when your best friend vanishes and you blame yourself, someone eventually suggests you talk to a professional." Eva accepted her fresh drink with a nod. "Dr. Patel. Every Thursday for two years. She'd be very proud I'm not trying to fix this conversation." "Is that what this is? A conversation?" "I don't know." Eva traced the rim of her glass. "What do you call it when you accidentally find someone you've been grieving?" The word sat heavy between them. Grieving. As if Aurora had died. And maybe she had, in a way. Maybe that's what it took to survive sometimes—killing the person you were supposed to be. "I work here," Aurora said suddenly. "Not just live. I help Silas with the books sometimes, manage supplies. It's not just delivery." "Okay." "And I take classes. Online. Literature, mostly. Some creative writing." The words tumbled out, a resume for a job that didn't exist. "I'm not just—I'm building something." "Okay," Eva said again, softer. "It's not what anyone expected. It's not what I expected. But it's mine." Eva turned to face her fully, and Aurora saw the tears she'd been holding back. "I'm glad. I'm so fucking glad you're okay." "I'm not," Aurora said, the honesty surprising them both. "Not entirely. Maybe not ever. But I'm better. I'm… trying." "That's all any of us are doing." Eva wiped her eyes, smearing mascara she'd never worn in university. "God, look at us. Five years and we're crying in a Soho bar like we're still twenty." "Speak for yourself. I'm not crying." "Yet," Eva countered, and there it was—the ghost of their old rhythm, the ease they'd once shared. It hurt like a half-healed bruise, tender but bearable. Silas drifted back, polishing a glass that didn't need it. "Kitchen's closing soon, but I could probably manage some chips if anyone's hungry." "God, yes," Eva said, then caught herself. "Unless you need to—if you have plans—" Aurora checked the time. Nearly eleven. Tomorrow was another early shift, another day of navigating London traffic with Yu-Fei's carefully packaged dinners. The smart thing would be to go upstairs, shower off the day, fall into bed. "Chips sound good," she said instead. Eva's smile was sunlight through storm clouds. "Remember that place in Cardiff Bay? With the curry sauce?" "You always got it on your shirt." "You always stole my chips when I wasn't looking." "Lies and slander. I was pre-law, not pre-crime." They fell into it carefully, testing the weight of shared memory. Silas brought chips and disappeared again, reading the room with professional grace. They talked around the edges of things—Eva's job, Aurora's favorite delivery routes, the way London could feel like a dozen different cities depending on your postcode. Neither mentioned Evan again. Neither asked about the specifics of those lost years. But when Eva's phone buzzed with a work message, her face fell. "Early meeting," she said apologetically. "Singapore markets." "Sounds important." "It's not." Eva gathered her bag, then hesitated. "I'm glad I walked in here tonight." Aurora considered the distance between them, the empty barstool that had somehow disappeared as they talked. "Yeah. Me too." "Would it be—could I come back? Not to fix anything or push for more than you want. Just… chips and conversation?" The old Aurora would have said yes immediately, desperate to hold onto any piece of her former life. This Aurora, the one who'd learned to check her locks and trust her instincts, took a moment to really look at Eva. Saw the hope there, but also the restraint. The friend who'd learned that love sometimes meant letting go. "Thursday nights are usually quiet," she said finally. Eva's smile could have powered the city. "Thursday then." She left money on the bar—too much, Silas would grumble—and headed for the door. At the threshold, she turned back. "For what it's worth," she said, "I like who you're becoming. Even if I miss who you were." Then she was gone, leaving Aurora alone with the ghost of gardenias—when had Eva started wearing perfume?—and the sound of rain against windows. Silas returned, began clearing glasses with practiced efficiency. "Old friend?" "The oldest," Aurora confirmed. "The one who got me out." "Ah." He understood without elaboration. The Raven's Nest had always been good at keeping secrets. "You alright?" Aurora considered the question, testing her emotional bruises. "Ask me Thursday." He chuckled, the sound warm in the dim bar. "Fair enough. Now get upstairs before you fall asleep on my bar. Bad for business." She went, climbing the narrow stairs to her flat. But before bed, she stood at her window, watching the green neon paint the rain. Somewhere in the city, Eva was heading home to a life Aurora couldn't imagine. And that was okay. They were different people now, carved by time and circumstance into shapes their younger selves wouldn't recognize. But maybe that's what friendship was, in the end. Not holding on to who someone used to be, but making space for who they'd become. Even when it hurt. Especially when it hurt. Thursday seemed very far away. And not nearly far enough.
total_cost0.292935

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
66.67% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags47
adverbTagCount10
adverbTags
0"Eva added softly [softly]"
1"Aurora said quietly [quietly]"
2"She gestured helplessly [helplessly]"
3"She laughed bitterly [bitterly]"
4"Eva said finally [finally]"
5"Aurora said suddenly [suddenly]"
6"Eva said again [again]"
7"she said instead [instead]"
8"she said apologetically [apologetically]"
9"she said finally [finally]"
dialogueSentences120
tagDensity0.392
leniency0.783
rawRatio0.213
effectiveRatio0.167
74.37% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2536
totalAiIsmAdverbs13
found
0
adverb"really"
count2
1
adverb"perfectly"
count1
2
adverb"softly"
count1
3
adverb"suddenly"
count2
4
adverb"very"
count3
5
adverb"helplessly"
count1
6
adverb"barely above a whisper"
count1
7
adverb"carefully"
count2
highlights
0"really"
1"perfectly"
2"softly"
3"suddenly"
4"very"
5"helplessly"
6"barely above a whisper"
7"carefully"
80.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found
0"Patel"
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
54.65% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2536
totalAiIsms23
found
0
word"familiar"
count3
1
word"perfect"
count1
2
word"chaotic"
count1
3
word"measured"
count1
4
word"flicked"
count1
5
word"tension"
count2
6
word"practiced ease"
count1
7
word"silence"
count3
8
word"weight"
count3
9
word"footsteps"
count2
10
word"whisper"
count1
11
word"comfortable"
count1
12
word"traced"
count1
13
word"navigating"
count1
14
word"could feel"
count1
highlights
0"familiar"
1"perfect"
2"chaotic"
3"measured"
4"flicked"
5"tension"
6"practiced ease"
7"silence"
8"weight"
9"footsteps"
10"whisper"
11"comfortable"
12"traced"
13"navigating"
14"could feel"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
highlights
0"eyes widened"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences150
matches
0"was bitter"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences150
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"tended to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences220
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen40
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2502
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions39
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions123
wordCount1556
uniqueNames17
maxNameDensity2.89
worstName"Eva"
maxWindowNameDensity5.5
worstWindowName"Eva"
discoveredNames
Raven2
Nest2
Aurora42
Golden1
Empress1
Silas15
Morrison1
Eva45
Prague1
Moscow1
Cardiff2
Carter3
Brendan1
London3
Despite1
Yu-Fei1
Evan1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Aurora"
3"Empress"
4"Silas"
5"Morrison"
6"Eva"
7"Carter"
8"Brendan"
9"Yu-Fei"
10"Evan"
places
0"Golden"
1"Prague"
2"Moscow"
3"Cardiff"
4"London"
globalScore0.054
windowScore0
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences102
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"quite see"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.4
wordCount2502
matches
0"Not holding on to who someone used to be, but making space for who they'd become"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences220
matches
0"knew that voice"
1"learned that love"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs109
mean22.95
std16.92
cv0.737
sampleLengths
072
143
240
316
46
521
677
718
819
928
1033
1128
1220
135
1412
1532
1643
173
1811
1915
2024
2142
225
232
2429
258
2646
275
2847
2921
303
3136
327
336
3430
3525
365
3757
384
3931
4042
415
4229
437
4420
4535
4615
472
4862
4940
91.23% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount6
totalSentences150
matches
0"was supposed"
1"was waterlogged"
2"was supposed"
3"been relieved"
4"were supposed"
5"was gone"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs304
matches
0"was heading"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount17
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences11
totalSentences220
ratio0.05
matches
0"She'd meant to head straight up to her flat—the delivery shift at the Golden Empress had left her smelling of sesame oil and exhaustion—but the sound of Silas laughing, really laughing, pulled her toward the bar."
1"\"Still at the Golden Empress?\" Eva's perfectly manicured fingers—when had she started getting manicures?—wrapped around her tumbler."
2"The black-and-white photographs on the walls—Silas in Prague, in Moscow, in a dozen cities Aurora couldn't name—watched like patient ghosts."
3"Silas moved down the bar, giving them space while staying within earshot—an old spy's habit."
4"The weight of being Brendan Carter's daughter, the one who was supposed to follow in his footsteps, who threw it all away for reasons she couldn't—wouldn't—explain."
5"But a kept room, a hired investigator, calls to parents who had no answers—that was grief."
6"Maybe that's what it took to survive sometimes—killing the person you were supposed to be."
7"\"Yet,\" Eva countered, and there it was—the ghost of their old rhythm, the ease they'd once shared."
8"They talked around the edges of things—Eva's job, Aurora's favorite delivery routes, the way London could feel like a dozen different cities depending on your postcode."
9"She left money on the bar—too much, Silas would grumble—and headed for the door."
10"Then she was gone, leaving Aurora alone with the ghost of gardenias—when had Eva started wearing perfume?—and the sound of rain against windows."
87.81% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1576
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount85
adverbRatio0.053934010152284266
lyAdverbCount27
lyAdverbRatio0.01713197969543147
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences220
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences220
mean11.37
std7.83
cv0.688
sampleLengths
021
115
236
323
412
58
618
722
88
98
101
115
1211
1310
1412
1521
1620
1724
1818
1910
207
212
2222
235
241
2513
2618
272
2817
2911
3016
314
325
3310
342
354
368
3720
3810
3910
4023
413
423
438
4415
4515
469
473
4810
4929
58.94% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats17
diversityRatio0.4
totalSentences220
uniqueOpeners88
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount7
totalSentences138
matches
0"Of course it was Eva."
1"Somewhere in the back, pipes"
2"Of course her mother would"
3"Maybe that's what it took"
4"Then she was gone, leaving"
5"Somewhere in the city, Eva"
6"Especially when it hurt."
ratio0.051
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount25
totalSentences138
matches
0"She'd meant to head straight"
1"He stood behind the polished"
2"She knew that voice, knew"
3"Her hair, which Aurora remembered"
4"He reached for another glass."
5"She'd always been the one"
6"His signet ring clicked against"
7"She stopped, started again"
8"She could picture it too"
9"She bit off the words,"
10"She stopped, swallowed"
11"She gestured helplessly"
12"She laughed bitterly"
13"They sat in the almost-comfortable"
14"It hurt like a half-healed"
15"she said instead"
16"They fell into it carefully,"
17"They talked around the edges"
18"she said apologetically"
19"she said finally"
ratio0.181
57.83% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount111
totalSentences138
matches
0"The green neon of The"
1"The familiar smell of whiskey"
2"She'd meant to head straight"
3"He stood behind the polished"
4"The slight favor he gave"
5"\"—and then Morrison says, The"
6"She knew that voice, knew"
7"Silas wiped tears from his"
8"Aurora's feet had already started"
9"Eva turned on her barstool,"
10"Her hair, which Aurora remembered"
11"The ratty band t-shirts and"
12"Eva's voice caught on the"
13"The correction came out harder"
14"Aurora forced herself forward, each"
15"Silas's hazel eyes flicked between"
16"He reached for another glass."
17"Aurora slid onto a stool,"
18"The small crescent scar on"
19"Eva's perfectly manicured fingers—when had"
ratio0.804
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount5
totalSentences138
matches
0"Even when they were kids"
1"As if she hadn't torn"
2"As if the girl who'd"
3"As if Aurora had died."
4"Even when it hurt."
ratio0.036
91.84% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences56
technicalSentenceCount4
matches
0"Silas's hazel eyes flicked between them, reading the tension with the practiced ease of a man who'd spent decades parsing hostile territories."
1"Jennifer Carter collected people like some women collected shoes, never willing to let anyone go, never understanding why her daughter might need distance from …"
2"They sat in the almost-comfortable silence that followed, the ghost of who they'd been flickering between them."
3"Aurora could almost see her: the girl who'd dreamed of following her father's footsteps, who'd debated constitutional law over cheap wine in Eva's student flat,…"
82.45% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags47
uselessAdditionCount4
matches
0"Eva's voice caught on, as if she'd forgotten she had the right to use it"
1"The word came out, dangerous"
2"Eva said again, softer"
3"Aurora said, the honesty surprising them both"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags18
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"Eva added softly (add)"
1"She laughed bitterly (laugh)"
2"Aurora confirmed (confirm)"
dialogueSentences120
tagDensity0.15
leniency0.3
rawRatio0.167
effectiveRatio0.05
84.8591%