Run: 2026-02-19-01KHTY3XYAWCCGVQNRZPQ05N8S

Run Details

Duration:
2m
Cost:
$0.004783
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Thriller genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>

Model response

AI
Feet skidded on the slick bricks as he pitched forward, and I lunged after him, the alley's metal bins clanging a warning behind us. My hand closed on the back of his coat and I yanked him off balance, the world tilting as we toppled into a puddle that tasted of copper and grit. He twisted free, boots sparking on a loose grate, and raced toward the corner where The Raven’s Nest pressed its green neon glow into the night. I could hear the bar’s murmur breathe as he passed the doorway, as if the place itself wanted to swallow him whole. A sharp roll of his shoulder sent him skimming past a door that shouldn’t have existed, a narrow throat between buildings that spat him into a shadow of rain-streaked windows. I followed, shoulder to brick, keeping his silhouette in my peripheral, a black line that never quite paused. The Nest’s sign winked at me—distinctive green, flickering with every breath of the street. Inside, a dozen patrons clung to their conversations as if the rain outside hadn’t dared to end with them. The scent of old oak, cigarette smoke, and something sharper—alcohol, perhaps—hung in the air. I pressed through the crowd, eyes narrowing on the figure with the long, black coat, a figure who knew the city’s bones better than I did. He slipped into the back, where a heavy bookshelf loomed like a sentinel. I caught the glint of metal under his sleeve, a sudden twist of motion that told me he planned to vanish into a space the rest of this city forgot. The shelves shuddered as he pressed a palm against the wood, and the unit inched aside to reveal a narrow passage. The air smelled damp, almost cold, and the sound of a distant dripping touched the edges of my nerves. "Not today," I said, catching his sleeve again, my voice lower than a whisper, restrained by years of training and the memory of what I’d lost. He grinned, a pale cutting of lips. "Detective Quinn. Thought you’d be home sharpening your warnings tonight." "Cut the games." I hauled him back, keeping the grip firm and unyielding. "You’re not getting away—again." The passage swallowed us in its quiet. The shelf slid shut with a soft sigh and left us standing in a hush that felt almost ceremonial. The Nest’s maps and black-and-white photographs watched us from the walls as if they knew the city’s secrets better than the living did. My watch ticked with a stubborn rhythm, the kind that reminded me I’d spent eighteen years chasing criminals who believed they owned the night. I’d learned to read a crowd, to read a street, to read a person’s breath when they told a lie without uttering a word. "Why here, Quinn?" his voice asked from the shadow, a careful cadence that betrayed nothing but intent. "Why the back door to a room that isn’t supposed to exist?" I moved closer, the room’s light catching the edge of a scar along his forearm—one that looked like a knife had tried to claim him and had failed. The mark steadied him, a memento of a street fight he’d survived, or perhaps a pact he’d broken. He kept his gaze forward, refusing to give me the satisfaction of a glance. "Because you think this is your sanctuary," I said, stepping closer still. "But every sanctuary has a door. And you’ve worn out a few, Herrera." Tomás Herrera—Tomás, Herrera—stood just ahead of me, the Saint Christopher medallion catching a sliver of light and throwing a strange warmth across his olive skin. He’d been a paramedic once, a healer who’d learned too late that some wounds aren’t meant to mend with bandages. He’d moved to London, lost his license for illegal treatments on those supernatural patients the NHS wouldn’t admit existed. He’d become part of the clique’s underground, a quiet man with a careful smile, a man who’d earned his name not for heroics but for getting people across the line between life and something else. "Not sanctuary," he replied. "Consequence. You were always good at consequences." He glanced over my shoulder, as if listening for a different exit. "The room behind the door wants to forget us." I didn’t blink. "The door isn’t your friend. It’s a mouth that speaks a language I don’t want to hear." He started to drift again, a current under a still pool, and I pressed forward. The floorboards gave a soft groan beneath our feet, a reminder that this place had its own age and its own rules. The hidden room yielded to another door, this one a staircase that descended into a tunnel’s mouth. Damp air rolled up like a tide. Water tapped the stone in a patient rhythm, tick-tock, tick-tock, each beat echoing down the stairway and urging me onward. The Nest’s warmth fell away as we moved deeper, replaced by the cold smell of metal and earth, the teeth of a city’s underbelly grinding in the dark. The walls wore a film of slime that shone faintly when a stray beam of light struck it. "Why so important, this chase?" Herrera muttered, glancing back at the doorway as if measuring how much of the world he could still pretend to control. "Because you people think you can hide in the spaces between these lights." I kept my pace steady, letting him pull just enough ahead to keep the chase honest. We emerged onto a service corridor, the sound of distant maintenance hums mixing with the odd scuff of a boot on a concrete floor. The walls bore old posters, veiled in grime, each one a memory of a night the city forgot to close. The air grew cooler, the air thick with a mix of ozone and something metallic, something that felt almost alive. The glow from the passage behind us dimmed as the shelf moaned back into place, sealing a memory in the room that would never be spoken aloud. Ahead, a tunnel mouth opened into the Veil Market’s heart—the abandoned Tube station beneath Camden, a place of shadowed stalls and illicit chatter. The market’s current location shifted with the full moon, the bone tokens that opened passageways clinking softly in the pockets of those who knew the ritual. The sign there warned little: a faint rune carved into the stone, a hand’s breath from a door. The scent of strange alchemical substances, resinous and peppery, floated through the air like a dare. "Entered your world now, detective," he said, a half-smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "Don’t pretend you don’t want to know what they’re selling here." A vendor near the edge of the room called out, offering something that looked like glass and shadows wrapped in a ribbon of smoke. The sound of a bell, not loud, but enough to pull attention, drew a crowd that watched us with eyes that knew more than I did. The Veil Market stretched before us, a labyrinth of stalls set in a cavern of damp stone and humming lights. The floor was uneven, and every step felt like walking on a fault line. The air carried a musk of damp stone, hot copper, and something sweet that burned the back of my throat. The lanterns above flickered with a feverish glow, casting warped shadows that moved with the crowd’s breathing. It was a market that existed halfway between hunger and fear, a place where information sold for more than money and magic bled into the wires of reality. Herrera moved with a calm assurance that suggested he’d learned to bend fear to his will. He paused at a stall that offered bottled lightning in glass vials, the vendor’s eyes gleaming with a hunger that was almost holy. A man with a hood pulled low over his face watched us from the other side, the edge of a bone token visible beneath his sleeve as if it were a talisman. The token itself drew a faint glow, a reminder that the market accepted deals sealed with bone and breath. "Bone token," I muttered, the phrase tasting like ash on my tongue. The token’s myth had always irritated me—an entrance ritual to a world that pretended it was only stories and things that could be bought. But tonight, it felt like a lock, and I was staring at a key. Herrera cast a glance toward a narrow lane that split the market in two. "You’ll want to go left," he said, voice low. "The right path leads to a trap you won’t want to walk into twice." A moment’s hesitance trembled through me. If I followed him deeper, I was stepping into a world I didn’t fully understand, where the clique’s influence threaded through every stall like a hidden current. Yet if I didn’t follow, I’d lose the line, lose the person I’d vowed to stop, and risk letting something worse slip free into a city that already wore too much of fear like a second skin. The ring in my finger—my father’s, a stubborn piece of metal that never left my hand—felt heavier than normal. I tucked the weight of it into my palm, a small compass I could trust when the map dissolved into smoke and whispers. Herrera paused again, the crowd thinning around him as if he’d learned to move without leaving footprints. "Do you know what they’re selling down here, Quinn?" he asked, not turning to face me, as if the words could drift away if he let go of looking at them. "Information first," I replied, sharpening my tone. "And then whatever you’re selling, you’ll keep for yourself." The lie tasted bitter, and I let it ride the air, watching his eyes small and careful, a man who’d learned to balance on the line between mercy and manipulation. A young vendor—one with a scar running along his cheek and a Saint Christopher medallion tucked beneath his collar—leaned close as if to share a secret with the crowd. He offered a look at a vial that shimmered with a pale, almost spectral light. The vendor’s mouth curled into a quiet smile, the sort you show when you’re about to trade a life for a price you can live with. Herrera did not blink at the temptation; he was a man who understood the market’s language better than most. "Stay close," I said, not just to him but to the city around us, to the possibility that something far older than fear lurked beneath the tunnels. The city’s bones creaked, and I felt the old pull—the thing I’d learned to recognise in the hours when the world narrowed down to a single breath and a single wrong choice. Then, a shout broke through the market’s low murmur, a crack of alarm that rolled through the stalls like a gust. The suspect—unknown name, unknown face—pushed through a cluster of people with a sudden, brutal speed, one hand raised as if to shield himself from the world’s judgment. He knocked a lamp from a stall, and the light spilled across him in jagged shards. He vanished into the crowd, and a tangle of bodies followed, a rushing wave of movement that threatened to swallow me. I went after him, weaving between stalls as a vendor launched into a protest about damage and blame. The market took a breath, and the breath became a chorus of whispers and the clatter of coins. My eyes swept for him, for the signs of a mind that would run itself into corners only to emerge again with a new plan, a new trick. The suspect was already slippery, a man who knew how to turn fear into a doorway. In the crowd, I caught a flash of something familiar—a stranger wearing a Saint Christopher medallion around his neck, olive skin catching the glow from a nearby stall. The medallion’s icon—a little shield of protection—hung against his chest, the metal catching the light with a quiet conviction. My heart stuttered, the memory of Tomás Herrera's own medallion sparking in my mind. A glimpse, a tug, and then the moment passed. The market’s noise swallowed the sight, and I pressed on. The chase turned into a chase-within, me chasing the suspect through a zigzag of stalls that sold a thousand dreams for a handful of coins. A woman with eyes like after-dusk steel whispered something about a door that could open only for those who paid with fear. A boy clutched a jar of speckled dust that promised invisibility to the wearer. A man carved runes into the air with a finger, and the runes glowed briefly as if a heartbeat had been pressed into the shadows. We crossed a corridor where a line of low benches faced a mirror so polished it showed the world in reverse. The suspect paused, and for a moment I had him—six-foot silhouette, a smear of rain-streaked light on his cheek, breath visible as if the night kept him honest. Then he moved again, slipping through a stall that sold memories as if they were coins, the air behind him turning cold and sharp. I slowed, listening to the market’s pulse. A whisper rose from the far end, a soft, deliberate cadence that suggested someone knew exactly what to say to persuade fear to walk on four legs. Herrera was nowhere to be seen; the crowd carried him somewhere else, or perhaps I was the one becoming part of the crowd—the beam of the neon sign painting a pale seam along the ground, the way the crowd’s laughter shifted into a chorus of murmur and suspicion. “Quinn.” The word came from the left, low and deliberate. A hand appeared in the space between stalls, a gloved touch on my forearm that pulled tight. I spun to face a taller figure, a man with the same careful calm I associated with Herr—though not Herrera. It was someone else, someone who knew the market’s rules and refused to break them in the open. He didn’t say his name. He did say, with the breath of someone who’d spent years watching the same shadows, “You’re in too deep without a token.” I looked down at my hands, saw the notch of a missing token on my palm where a knuckles-first grip might have pressed a token to seal a doorway. Tears of frustration burned behind my eyes, not for fear but for the stubborn truth I’d learned: in this place, names ran thin and doors ran thicker. The stranger stepped closer, and his breath brushed my ear. “If you want him, you’ll follow,” he said, and then: “If you want answers, you’ll listen to the whispers that call from the bones beneath Camden." He stepped back, letting the crowd move him, letting the market do what it did best—pull people toward the edge and wait for them to choose how loud the fall would be. Herrera’s voice cut through the murmur again, a small, respectful tremor. “I told you, the left path.” He appeared at a stall’s edge, as if conjured by a memory or a plan someone else had laid out before him. He looked at me with that quiet certainty that he used to calm the fear in others, the same look that had made him useful to the clique. He did not smile. He did not offer apologies. He offered a choice—the choice of a path that could end in rescue or ruin. “Left it is,” I said, and the words felt like a weapon that could either save or tighten the knot around my own neck. We moved as one through a tightening corridor of light and shadow, the market’s noise pressing close like a living thing. The crowd thinning, the walls narrowing, a new feeling of being watched crawled across my skin. The bone tokens glinted in pockets, a sign that the market’s guardians were nearby, keeping watch not with eyes but with a sense of ritual that could freeze a heartbeat mid-sprint. Then I heard a trapdoor’s scream—low and metallic—swallowing the quiet. The suspect popped out of a stall that sold something like dream-water, threw a hand up to shade his face, and disappeared into a stairwell that appeared only for those who believed in the market’s rules. The stairwell descended into a network of tunnels I’d never seen, a maze of damp stone and unknown echoes. Herrera’s hand found mine, gripping hard enough to remind me that he was still there, still part of the plan, even if he wasn’t the one we were chasing anymore. We stood at the top of the stairs that led down into Camden’s bone-lit crypts, the tokens in the crowd’s pockets humming with a pale energy. The market’s hum grew louder, a chorus of coppers, breaths, and the distant clink of metal. It felt as though the city itself exhaled here, in a chamber where fear and truth shared a single doorway. “Deeper,” I said, almost to myself, the word tasting like iron and rain on a night that hadn’t offered rain at all. Herrera released my hand and stepped forward, his gaze sliding along the tunnel’s damp walls as if he’d memorised every crack and crackle. The path ahead twisted, a corridor that would have seemed ordinary if not for the tired whisper of something ancient lurking in its shadows. The air thickened, and I knew the chase would not end in a neat arrest or a clean confession. It would end in a perilous decision, one I could not escape. “Quinn,” Herrera breathed, his tone suddenly softer, almost human. “If he’s down there, we may need more than law to pull him out.” The word “him” hung between us, a punctuation mark on the night’s sentence. The suspect, whoever he was, had entered a world that existed beyond warrants and chalk lines, a realm where tokens glowed and doors opened on the bones of the city. The decision pressed down on me: dive after him into the Veil Market’s underground or cut the line and anchor the pursuit on the surface, where the clique’s reach was thinner but the truth could still be reclaimed. I pressed my lips together, tasting metal and rain on the back of my tongue. A part of me wanted to turn back, to pull Herrera with me and walk the safe route, to pretend the danger was not as real as the memory that haunted me—DS Morris, and the veil between the living and something else that had torn a partner away. Yet the other part—the part that had learned to live with the sound of a breath held in fear—wanted to follow the suspect down, to seize him, to end this chase on something other than luck and chance. The bone tokens glowed again, not bright but purposeful, a soundless chorus of warning and invitation. Ahead, a vendor’s stall flickered, its light a pale blue that hummed like a memory you cannot forget. The doorway to a hidden passage lay beyond, and the crowd’s murmur coiled tighter, listening for a name to be spoken, for a hand to grab a second chance. “After him,” I said, and my voice had the bite of a command and the tremor of a confession all at once. Herrera nodded, not in agreement but in readiness. We stepped as if we carried each other’s weight, the tunnel swallowing us with its cold breath and old secrets. The market’s chorus went with us, and the walls whispered, tick-tock, tick-tock, as if counting down the moment when a line would break and a new story would begin. The passage opened into a larger chamber—an underground square where the Veil Market pulsed like a living creature. Stalls stretched in all directions, rigging a labyrinth of choices, misdirections, and angles that defied common sense. The crowd pressed in close, eyes sliding over us with a hunter’s appraisal. In the middle, the suspect paused, watching the exits with a hunter’s patience, his breath visible in the cold air, his fingers brushing his coat as if he feared something far stronger than police heat. My jaw tightened. The chase had left the street’s rain to dwell in this dark, bone-lit world, and I knew I was in the mouth of it now. The decision to go deeper had been made in a moment’s breath, but its consequences would last longer than any arrest. I would either pull the suspect back from the market’s edge or fall with him into its hungry heart. The sound of a whispered agreement rose behind me, the kind of word that travels in crowds and then becomes a plan. Herrera’s calm remained, but his eyes burned with a shared determination. The chase would not stop here; it would continue until one of us spoke the truth the city most feared. And somewhere in this subterranean maze, the man who ran—the suspect—was listening, counting, waiting for the moment to strike the next chord in the city’s old song. Then the floor shifted, a tremor that ran through the tunnel’s stones, and the market’s lights wavered like a flame caught in a draft. A voice rose from a stall that sold whispers, a voice that sounded like someone who had learned to live on both sides of the law. The crowd stiffened, and I knew the moment we’d crossed into something that could swallow us whole had arrived. A single crack of sound split the air—metal on metal, as a hatch groaned open somewhere in the tunnel, the kind of sound that makes your teeth rattle and your hands clamp tight around your weapon. The suspect’s silhouette vanished into the crowd’s web, and I followed, my body moving with the practiced efficiency of someone who’d hunted in worse places than this and come out alive more times than not. The door to the hatch slammed shut behind me, sealing the passage like a mouth swallowing a scream. The room went quiet, save for a soft, warning hiss from a vendor who specialised in something decidedly unhuman. The market’s pulse thrummed through the walls, a living thing that would not be silenced by the sound of a single step. The last thing I heard before the hatch cut its breath was Herrera’s voice, calm and close, saying, “We’re in this now, Quinn. Either we pull him out, or the city sells him to us instead.” And as I stepped forward, the weight of that decision pressed down hard enough to push me into the deeper unknown, where the chase would burn the last of the night away and leave me standing on the edge of a choice that could close the case or tear it open in a dozen horrible ways. The market’s murmurs closed around us, and I knew I would not turn back. Not now. Not while a single line remained unspoken and a single door stood ajar, waiting for someone brave enough to walk through.
created_at"2026-02-19T12:31:09.266Z" 2/19/2026, 12:31:09 PM
model"openai/gpt-5-nano-2025-08-07"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency4106
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time120038
tokens_prompt4663
tokens_completion7491
native_tokens_prompt4132
native_tokens_completion11442
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning6720
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0047834
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"50329d77-04e1-4979-a184-c33030289476"
id"resp_07144bf618775101016997028d5adc8195a31c56494e04b68e"
is_byokfalse
latency137
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5-nano-2025-08-07"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771504269-jjVZUso2At58fhueCgaF"
upstream_id"resp_07144bf618775101016997028d5adc8195a31c56494e04b68e"
total_cost0.0047834
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags26
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences34
tagDensity0.765
leniency1
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
97.43% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3889
totalAiIsmAdverbs2
found
0
adverb"softly"
count1
1
adverb"suddenly"
count1
highlights
0"softly"
1"suddenly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
55.00% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3889
totalAiIsms35
found
0
word"raced"
count1
1
word"loomed"
count1
2
word"sentinel"
count1
3
word"glint"
count1
4
word"whisper"
count3
5
word"restrained"
count1
6
word"sanctuary"
count3
7
word"warmth"
count2
8
word"reminder"
count2
9
word"echoing"
count1
10
word"almost alive"
count1
11
word"flickered"
count2
12
word"gleaming"
count1
13
word"trembled"
count1
14
word"weight"
count3
15
word"shimmered"
count1
16
word"spectral"
count1
17
word"familiar"
count1
18
word"pulse"
count2
19
word"sense of"
count1
20
word"echoes"
count1
21
word"pulsed"
count1
22
word"wavered"
count1
23
word"the last thing"
count1
24
word"unspoken"
count1
highlights
0"raced"
1"loomed"
2"sentinel"
3"glint"
4"whisper"
5"restrained"
6"sanctuary"
7"warmth"
8"reminder"
9"echoing"
10"almost alive"
11"flickered"
12"gleaming"
13"trembled"
14"weight"
15"shimmered"
16"spectral"
17"familiar"
18"pulse"
19"sense of"
20"echoes"
21"pulsed"
22"wavered"
23"the last thing"
24"unspoken"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"room fell silent"
count1
1
label"hung in the air"
count1
highlights
0"The room went quiet"
1"hung in the air"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells2
narrationSentences177
matches
0"d with fear"
1"d in fear"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences177
filterMatches
0"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
1"started to"
2"tend to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences184
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen59
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3839
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions40
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions46
wordCount3597
uniqueNames13
maxNameDensity0.5
worstName"Herrera"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Herrera"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest4
Tomás3
Herrera18
Saint3
Christopher3
London1
Veil4
Market4
Tube1
Camden2
Herr1
Morris1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Tomás"
3"Herrera"
4"Saint"
5"Christopher"
6"Market"
7"Morris"
places
0"London"
1"Veil"
2"Camden"
globalScore1
windowScore1
0.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences167
glossingSentenceCount11
matches
0"looked like a knife had tried to claim hi"
1"as if listening for a different exit"
2"as if measuring how much of the world he could still pretend to control"
3"looked like glass and shadows wrapped in"
4"felt like walking on a fault line"
5"felt like a lock, and I was staring at"
6"felt like a weapon that could either sa"
7"something like dream-water, threw a hand up"
8"seemed ordinary if not for the tired whisper of something ancient lurking in its shadows"
9"as if counting down the moment when a line would break and a new story would begin"
10"sounded like someone who had learned to li"
17.66% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches7
per1kWords1.823
wordCount3839
matches
0"not for heroics but for getting people across the line between life"
1"not loud, but enough to pull attention, drew a crowd"
2"not just to him but to the city around us, to the possibility"
3"not for fear but for the stubborn truth I’d learned: in this place, names ran"
4"not with eyes but with a sense of ritual"
5"not bright but purposeful, a soundless chorus of warning"
6"not in agreement but in readiness"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences184
matches(empty)
69.56% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs57
mean67.35
std26.5
cv0.393
sampleLengths
0102
1121
283
326
417
517
697
729
860
925
1099
1132
1257
1390
1426
1529
1691
1783
1877
1999
2090
2150
2237
2370
2459
2531
2646
2789
2859
2985
3080
3180
3286
3373
3482
3592
3656
3768
3891
3924
4068
4195
4262
4322
4478
4523
4681
47101
4863
4979
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences177
matches
0"been pressed"
1"been made"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount4
totalVerbs568
matches
0"was staring"
1"was stepping"
2"were chasing"
3"was listening"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount33
semicolonCount3
flaggedSentences25
totalSentences184
ratio0.136
matches
0"The Nest’s sign winked at me—distinctive green, flickering with every breath of the street."
1"The scent of old oak, cigarette smoke, and something sharper—alcohol, perhaps—hung in the air."
2"I moved closer, the room’s light catching the edge of a scar along his forearm—one that looked like a knife had tried to claim him and had failed."
3"Tomás Herrera—Tomás, Herrera—stood just ahead of me, the Saint Christopher medallion catching a sliver of light and throwing a strange warmth across his olive skin."
4"Ahead, a tunnel mouth opened into the Veil Market’s heart—the abandoned Tube station beneath Camden, a place of shadowed stalls and illicit chatter."
5"The token’s myth had always irritated me—an entrance ritual to a world that pretended it was only stories and things that could be bought."
6"The ring in my finger—my father’s, a stubborn piece of metal that never left my hand—felt heavier than normal."
7"A young vendor—one with a scar running along his cheek and a Saint Christopher medallion tucked beneath his collar—leaned close as if to share a secret with the crowd."
8"Herrera did not blink at the temptation; he was a man who understood the market’s language better than most."
9"The city’s bones creaked, and I felt the old pull—the thing I’d learned to recognise in the hours when the world narrowed down to a single breath and a single wrong choice."
10"The suspect—unknown name, unknown face—pushed through a cluster of people with a sudden, brutal speed, one hand raised as if to shield himself from the world’s judgment."
11"In the crowd, I caught a flash of something familiar—a stranger wearing a Saint Christopher medallion around his neck, olive skin catching the glow from a nearby stall."
12"The medallion’s icon—a little shield of protection—hung against his chest, the metal catching the light with a quiet conviction."
13"The suspect paused, and for a moment I had him—six-foot silhouette, a smear of rain-streaked light on his cheek, breath visible as if the night kept him honest."
14"Herrera was nowhere to be seen; the crowd carried him somewhere else, or perhaps I was the one becoming part of the crowd—the beam of the neon sign painting a pale seam along the ground, the way the crowd’s laughter shifted into a chorus of murmur and suspicion."
15"I spun to face a taller figure, a man with the same careful calm I associated with Herr—though not Herrera."
16"“If you want him, you’ll follow,” he said, and then: “If you want answers, you’ll listen to the whispers that call from the bones beneath Camden.\" He stepped back, letting the crowd move him, letting the market do what it did best—pull people toward the edge and wait for them to choose how loud the fall would be."
17"He offered a choice—the choice of a path that could end in rescue or ruin."
18"Then I heard a trapdoor’s scream—low and metallic—swallowing the quiet."
19"A part of me wanted to turn back, to pull Herrera with me and walk the safe route, to pretend the danger was not as real as the memory that haunted me—DS Morris, and the veil between the living and something else that had torn a partner away."
20"Yet the other part—the part that had learned to live with the sound of a breath held in fear—wanted to follow the suspect down, to seize him, to end this chase on something other than luck and chance."
21"The passage opened into a larger chamber—an underground square where the Veil Market pulsed like a living creature."
22"The chase would not stop here; it would continue until one of us spoke the truth the city most feared."
23"And somewhere in this subterranean maze, the man who ran—the suspect—was listening, counting, waiting for the moment to strike the next chord in the city’s old song."
24"A single crack of sound split the air—metal on metal, as a hatch groaned open somewhere in the tunnel, the kind of sound that makes your teeth rattle and your hands clamp tight around your weapon."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount3646
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"same careful calm I"
adverbCount87
adverbRatio0.023861766319253977
lyAdverbCount13
lyAdverbRatio0.0035655512890839275
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences184
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences184
mean20.86
std9.29
cv0.445
sampleLengths
024
130
226
322
430
518
614
719
814
926
1013
1130
1221
1319
1426
157
1610
1713
184
197
2019
2123
2224
2324
2417
2512
2628
2718
2814
2912
3013
3125
3220
3319
3435
354
3619
379
383
3932
4022
4117
427
4320
4428
4518
4626
4729
4824
4920
29.89% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats37
diversityRatio0.21195652173913043
totalSentences184
uniqueOpeners39
76.19% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount4
totalSentences175
matches
0"Then, a shout broke through"
1"Then he moved again, slipping"
2"Then I heard a trapdoor’s"
3"Then the floor shifted, a"
ratio0.023
76.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount63
totalSentences175
matches
0"My hand closed on the"
1"He twisted free, boots sparking"
2"I could hear the bar’s"
3"I followed, shoulder to brick,"
4"I pressed through the crowd,"
5"He slipped into the back,"
6"I caught the glint of"
7"I said, catching his sleeve"
8"He grinned, a pale cutting"
9"I hauled him back, keeping"
10"My watch ticked with a"
11"I’d learned to read a"
12"his voice asked from the"
13"I moved closer, the room’s"
14"He kept his gaze forward,"
15"I said, stepping closer still"
16"He’d been a paramedic once,"
17"He’d moved to London, lost"
18"He’d become part of the"
19"He glanced over my shoulder,"
ratio0.36
8.57% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount158
totalSentences175
matches
0"Feet skidded on the slick"
1"My hand closed on the"
2"He twisted free, boots sparking"
3"I could hear the bar’s"
4"A sharp roll of his"
5"I followed, shoulder to brick,"
6"The Nest’s sign winked at"
7"The scent of old oak,"
8"I pressed through the crowd,"
9"He slipped into the back,"
10"I caught the glint of"
11"The shelves shuddered as he"
12"The air smelled damp, almost"
13"I said, catching his sleeve"
14"He grinned, a pale cutting"
15"I hauled him back, keeping"
16"The passage swallowed us in"
17"The shelf slid shut with"
18"The Nest’s maps and black-and-white"
19"My watch ticked with a"
ratio0.903
28.57% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences175
matches
0"If I followed him deeper,"
ratio0.006
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences137
technicalSentenceCount37
matches
0"A sharp roll of his shoulder sent him skimming past a door that shouldn’t have existed, a narrow throat between buildings that spat him into a shadow of rain-st…"
1"I pressed through the crowd, eyes narrowing on the figure with the long, black coat, a figure who knew the city’s bones better than I did."
2"I caught the glint of metal under his sleeve, a sudden twist of motion that told me he planned to vanish into a space the rest of this city forgot."
3"The shelf slid shut with a soft sigh and left us standing in a hush that felt almost ceremonial."
4"The Nest’s maps and black-and-white photographs watched us from the walls as if they knew the city’s secrets better than the living did."
5"He’d become part of the clique’s underground, a quiet man with a careful smile, a man who’d earned his name not for heroics but for getting people across the li…"
6"The walls wore a film of slime that shone faintly when a stray beam of light struck it."
7"The air grew cooler, the air thick with a mix of ozone and something metallic, something that felt almost alive."
8"The market’s current location shifted with the full moon, the bone tokens that opened passageways clinking softly in the pockets of those who knew the ritual."
9"The lanterns above flickered with a feverish glow, casting warped shadows that moved with the crowd’s breathing."
10"A man with a hood pulled low over his face watched us from the other side, the edge of a bone token visible beneath his sleeve as if it were a talisman."
11"A young vendor—one with a scar running along his cheek and a Saint Christopher medallion tucked beneath his collar—leaned close as if to share a secret with the…"
12"Herrera did not blink at the temptation; he was a man who understood the market’s language better than most."
13"The suspect—unknown name, unknown face—pushed through a cluster of people with a sudden, brutal speed, one hand raised as if to shield himself from the world’s …"
14"He vanished into the crowd, and a tangle of bodies followed, a rushing wave of movement that threatened to swallow me."
15"The chase turned into a chase-within, me chasing the suspect through a zigzag of stalls that sold a thousand dreams for a handful of coins."
16"A woman with eyes like after-dusk steel whispered something about a door that could open only for those who paid with fear."
17"A boy clutched a jar of speckled dust that promised invisibility to the wearer."
18"The suspect paused, and for a moment I had him—six-foot silhouette, a smear of rain-streaked light on his cheek, breath visible as if the night kept him honest."
19"Then he moved again, slipping through a stall that sold memories as if they were coins, the air behind him turning cold and sharp."
20"It was someone else, someone who knew the market’s rules and refused to break them in the open."
21"He looked at me with that quiet certainty that he used to calm the fear in others, the same look that had made him useful to the clique."
22"The bone tokens glinted in pockets, a sign that the market’s guardians were nearby, keeping watch not with eyes but with a sense of ritual that could freeze a h…"
23"The suspect popped out of a stall that sold something like dream-water, threw a hand up to shade his face, and disappeared into a stairwell that appeared only f…"
24"We stood at the top of the stairs that led down into Camden’s bone-lit crypts, the tokens in the crowd’s pockets humming with a pale energy."
25"Herrera released my hand and stepped forward, his gaze sliding along the tunnel’s damp walls as if he’d memorised every crack and crackle."
26"The path ahead twisted, a corridor that would have seemed ordinary if not for the tired whisper of something ancient lurking in its shadows."
27"A part of me wanted to turn back, to pull Herrera with me and walk the safe route, to pretend the danger was not as real as the memory that haunted me—DS Morris…"
28"We stepped as if we carried each other’s weight, the tunnel swallowing us with its cold breath and old secrets."
29"The market’s chorus went with us, and the walls whispered, tick-tock, tick-tock, as if counting down the moment when a line would break and a new story would be…"
30"Stalls stretched in all directions, rigging a labyrinth of choices, misdirections, and angles that defied common sense."
31"In the middle, the suspect paused, watching the exits with a hunter’s patience, his breath visible in the cold air, his fingers brushing his coat as if he feare…"
32"And somewhere in this subterranean maze, the man who ran—the suspect—was listening, counting, waiting for the moment to strike the next chord in the city’s old …"
33"A single crack of sound split the air—metal on metal, as a hatch groaned open somewhere in the tunnel, the kind of sound that makes your teeth rattle and your h…"
34"The suspect’s silhouette vanished into the crowd’s web, and I followed, my body moving with the practiced efficiency of someone who’d hunted in worse places tha…"
35"The room went quiet, save for a soft, warning hiss from a vendor who specialised in something decidedly unhuman."
36"And as I stepped forward, the weight of that decision pressed down hard enough to push me into the deeper unknown, where the chase would burn the last of the ni…"
28.85% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags26
uselessAdditionCount5
matches
0"He glanced, as if listening for a different exit"
1"he said, voice low"
2"He appeared, as if conjured by a memory or a plan someone else had laid out before him"
3"I said, and the words felt like a weapon that could either save or tighten the knot around my own neck"
4"Herrera breathed, his tone suddenly softer, almost human"
11.11% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags18
fancyCount5
fancyTags
0"Herrera muttered (mutter)"
1"the room called out (call out)"
2"I muttered (mutter)"
3"He did (do)"
4"Herrera breathed (breathe)"
dialogueSentences34
tagDensity0.529
leniency1
rawRatio0.278
effectiveRatio0.278
69.7611%