Run: 2026-02-19-01KHTY6F8M6B4Y1FA0TTFT0J8R

Run Details

Duration:
1m 27s
Cost:
$0.004325
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert and award-winning novel writer in the dark Thriller genre. Your readers are hooked on your stories and can't wait to read the book you have in store. <important> - MUST: Start each chapter in medias res (in the middle of action). AVOID talking about the weather, time of day, the position of the sun, or other boring stuff. - The instructions/summary are just a that, a summary. Feel free to add details, stretch sections and add interesting transitions/descriptions/fillers. - When called for it, have fast-paced action, but otherwise take things slow. This is an experience, and not for people with short attention spans. Enjoy the wine, not slurp Red Bull. - Add descriptions when transitioning places/times/etc, or when coming by new places (e.g. a corner shop, a cafe, etc.). But remember: NOT at the start or end of a chapter. - MUST: AVOID ending in internal monologue, reminiscing or waiting for the next day. A good chapter end is when we're ending right when shit hits the fan. We want to have the reader be excited for what comes next. So no reminiscing, contemplating or summarizing the day. It's popcorn time! </important>
User/Human
Take into account the following glossary of characters/locations/items/lore... when writing your response: <codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> <proseGuidelines> <styleGuide> - Write in past tense and use British English spelling and grammar - Keep a Flesch reading ease score of 60 - Respect the the Royal Order of Adjectives: The order is: opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose, followed by the noun itself (e.g., "a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife") - Respect the ablaut reduplication rule (e.g. tick-tock, flip-flop) - Write in active voice - Passive voice: <bad>The book was read by Sarah.</bad> - Active voice: <good>Sarah read the book.</good> - Reduce the use of passive verbs - <bad>For a moment, I was tempted to throw in the towel.</bad> - <good>For a moment, I felt tempted to throw in the towel.</good> - Avoid misplaced modifiers that can cause confusion when starting with "-ing" words: - <bad>Considering going to the store, the empty fridge reflected in Betty's eyes.</bad> - <good>Betty stared into the empty fridge. It was time to go to the store.</good> - Avoid redundant adverbs that state the obvious meaning already contained in the verb: - <bad>She whispered quietly to her mom.</bad> - <good>She whispered to her mom.</good> - Use stronger, more descriptive verbs over weak ones: - <bad>Daniel drove quickly to his mother's house.</bad> - <good>Daniel raced to his mother's house.</good> - Omit adverbs that don't add solid meaning like "extremely", "definitely", "truly", "very", "really": - <bad>The movie was extremely boring.</bad> - <good>The movie was dull.</good> - Use adverbs to replace clunky phrasing when they increase clarity: - <bad>He threw the bags into the corner in a rough manner.</bad> - <good>He threw the bags into the corner roughly.</good> - Avoid making simple thoughts needlessly complex: - <bad>After I woke up in the morning the other day, I went downstairs, turned on the stove, and made myself a very good omelet.</bad> - <good>I cooked a delicious omelet for breakfast yesterday morning.</good> - Never backload sentences by putting the main idea at the end: - <bad>I decided not to wear too many layers because it's really hot outside.</bad> - <good>It's sweltering outside today, so I dressed light.</good> - Omit nonessential details that don't contribute to the core meaning: - <bad>It doesn't matter what kind of coffee I buy, where it's from, or if it's organic or not—I need to have cream because I really don't like how the bitterness makes me feel.</bad> - <good>I add cream to my coffee because the bitter taste makes me feel unwell.</good> - Always follow the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance: - Telling: <bad>Michael was terribly afraid of the dark.</bad> - Showing: <good>Michael tensed as his mother switched off the light and left the room.</good>- Telling: <bad>I walked through the forest. It was already Fall, and I was getting cold.</bad> - Showing: <good>Dry orange leaves crunched under my feet. I pulled my coat's collar up and rubbed my hands together.</good>- Add sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch) to support the "showing" (but keep an active voice) - <bad>The room was filled with the scent of copper.</bad> - <good>Copper stung my nostrils. Blood. Recent.</good> - Use descriptive language more sporadically. While vivid descriptions are engaging, human writers often use them in bursts rather than consistently throughout a piece. When adding them, make them count! Like when we transition from one location to the next, or someone is reminiscing their past, or explaining a concept/their dream... - Avoid adverbs and clichés and overused/commonly used phrases. Aim for fresh and original descriptions. - Avoid writing all sentences in the typical subject, verb, object structure. Mix short, punchy sentences with long, descriptive ones. Drop fill words to add variety. Like so: <good>Locked. Seems like someone doesn't want his secrets exposed. I can work with that.</good> - Convey events and story through dialogue. It is important to keep a unique voice for every character and make it consistent. - Write dialogue that reveals characters' personalities, motivations, emotions, and attitudes in an interesting and compelling manner - Leave dialogue unattributed. If needed, only use "he/she said" dialogue tags and convey people's actions or face expressions through their speech. Dialogue always is standalone, never part of a paragraph. Like so: - <bad>"I don't know," Helena said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders</bad> - <good>"No idea" "Why not? It was your responsibility"</good> - Avoid boring and mushy dialog and descriptions, have dialogue always continue the action, never stall or include unnecessary fluff. Vary the descriptions to not repeat yourself. Avoid conversations that are just "Let's go" "yes, let's" or "Are you ready?" "Yes I'm ready". Those are not interesting. Think hard about every situtation and word of text before writing dialogue. If it doesn't serve a purpose and it's just people talking about their day, leave it. No one wants to have a normal dinner scene, something needs to happen for it to be in the story. Words are expensive to print, so make sure they count! - Put dialogue on its own paragraph to separate scene and action. - Use body language to reveal hidden feelings and implied accusations- Imply feelings and thoughts, never state them directly - NEVER use indicators of uncertainty like "trying" or "maybe" - NEVER use em-dashes, use commas for asides instead </styleGuide> <voiceGuide> Each character in the story needs to have distinct speech patterns: - Word choice preferences - Sentence length tendencies - Cultural/educational influences - Verbal tics and catchphrases Learn how each person talks and continue in their style, and use their Codex entries as reference. <examples> - <bad>"We need to go now." "Yes, we should leave." "I agree."</bad> <good>"Time's up." "Indeed, our departure is rather overdue." "Whatever, let's bounce."</good> - Power Dynamic Example: <bad> "We need to discuss the contract." "Yes, let's talk about it." "I have concerns." </bad> <good> "A word about the contract." "Of course, Mr. Blackwood. Whatever you need." "The terms seem..." A manicured nail tapped the desk. "Inadequate." "I can explain every-" "Can you?" </good> </examples> </voiceGuide> <dialogueFlow> When writing dialogue, consider that it usually has a goal in mind, which gives it a certain flow. Make dialogue sections also quite snappy in the back and forth, and don't spread the lines out as much. It's good to have details before, after, or as a chunk in-between, but we don't want to have a trail of "dialogue breadcrumbs" spread throughout a conversation. <examples> - Pattern 1 - Question/Deflection/Revelation: <good> "Where were you last night?" "Work. The usual." "Lipstick's an interesting shade for spreadsheets." </good> - Pattern 2 - Statement/Contradiction/Escalation: <good> "Your brother's clean." "Tommy doesn't touch drugs." "I'm holding his tox screen." </good> - Pattern 3 - Observation/Denial/Truth: <good> "That's a new watch." "Birthday gift." "We both know what birthdays mean in this business." </good> - Example - A Simple Coffee Order: <bad> "I'll have a coffee." "What size?" "Large, please." </bad> <good> "Black coffee.""Size?""Large. Been a long night." "That bodega shooting?" "You watch too much news." "My brother owns that store." </good> This short exchange: - Advances plot (reveals connection to crime) - Shows character (cop working late) - Creates tension (unexpected connection) - Sets up future conflict (personal stake) - Example - Dinner Scene: <bad> "Pass the salt." "Here you go." "Thanks." </bad> <good> "Salt?" "Perfect as is. Mother's recipe." "Mother always did prefer... bland things." "Unlike your first wife?" </good> - Example - Office Small Talk: <bad> "Nice weather today." "Yes, very nice." "Good for golf." </bad> <good> "Perfect golf weather." "Shame about your membership." "Temporary suspension. Board meets next week." "I know. I called the vote." </good> </examples> </dialogueFlow> <subtextGuide> - Layer dialogue with hidden meaning: <bad>"I hate you!" she yelled angrily.</bad> <good>"I made your favorite dinner." The burnt pot sat accusingly on the stove.</good> - Create tension through indirect communication: <bad>"Are you cheating on me?"</bad> <good>"Late meeting again?" The lipstick stain on his collar caught the light.</good> <examples> - Example 1 - Unspoken Betrayal: <bad> "Did you tell them about our plans?" "No, I would never betray you." "I don't believe you." </bad> <good> "Funny. Johnson mentioned our expansion plans today." "The market's full of rumors." "Mentioned the exact numbers, actually." The pen in his hand snapped. </good> - Example 2 - Failed Marriage: <bad> "You're never home anymore." "I have to work late." "I miss you." </bad> <good> "Your dinner's in the microwave. Again." "Meetings ran long." "They always do." She folded the same shirt for the third time. </good> - Example 3 - Power Struggle: <bad> "You can't fire me." "I'm the boss." "I'll fight this." </bad> <good> "That's my father's nameplate you're sitting behind." "Was." "The board meeting's on Thursday." </good> </examples> </subtextGuide> <sceneDetail> While writing dialogue makes things more fun, sometimes we need to add detail to not have it be a full on theatre piece. <examples> - Example A (Power Dynamic Scene) <good> "Where's my money?" The ledger snapped shut. "I need more time." "Interesting." He pulled out a familiar gold pocket watch. My mother's. "Time is exactly what you bargained with last month." "That was different-" "Was it?" The watch dangled between us. "Four generations of O'Reillys have wound this every night. Your mother. Your grandmother. Your great-grandmother.Shall we see who winds it next?" </good> - Example B (Action Chase) It's much better to be in the head of the character experiencing it, showing a bit of their though-process, mannerisms and personality: <good> Three rules for surviving a goblin chase in Covent Garden: Don't run straight. Don't look back. Don't let them herd you underground. I broke the first rule at Drury Lane. Rookie mistake. The fruit cart I dodged sailed into the wall behind me. Glass shattered. Someone screamed about insurance. *Tourist season's getting rough*, the scream seemed to say. Londoners adapt fast. "Oi! Market's closed!" The goblin's accent was pure East End. They're evolving. Learning. I spotted the Warren Street tube station sign ahead. *Shit.* There went rule three. </good> - Example C (Crime Scene Investigation) <good> "Greek." Davies snapped photos of the symbols. "No, wait. Reverse Greek." "Someone's been watching too many horror films." I picked up a receipt from the floor. Occult supply shop in Camden. Paid by credit card. *Amateur hour*. "Could be dangerous though," Davies said. "Remember Bristol?" "Bristol was Sanskrit. And actual cultists." I pointed to the nearest symbol. "This genius wrote 'darkness' backwards but used a Sigma instead of an S. It's summoning Instagram followers at best." "Speaking of followers..." Davies pointed to heavy foot traffic in the dust. Multiple sets. All new trainers. *Ah.* "Anyone check local uni paranormal societies?" </good> - Example D (Dialogue-heavy) <good> "Found your card in her wallet." The detective slid it across the table. Worn edges. Folded corner. Three years old at least. "Standard practice. I work missing persons." "Funny thing about missing persons.Eventually they stop being missing. Turn up in the Thames. Under motorways. In pieces." "I don't-" "You found four last year. All breathing." She opened a file. "This would've been your first dead one. If we hadn't found her first." The card felt heavier somehow. </good> </examples> </sceneDetail> <sceneOpenings> KEY RULE: Never open with more than one paragraph of description, no matter how beautiful. Description should be earned through action and dialogue. Instead of opening with setting description, open with: - A character doing something specific - A line of dialogue that raises questions - An unexpected observation - A moment of tension or conflict - Start with a hook that's 1-2 sentences maximum - Follow with a smaller paragraph that provides immediate context - Vary paragraph size from the start to create visual interest </sceneOpenings> </proseGuidelines> Write a chapter based on the following instructions: <instructions> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary. </instructions>

Model response

AI
A boot shattered the rhythm of the street, and the figure in black spilled into the narrow alley, coat flaring as if it were a banner in a storm the city pretended not to hear. I blocked the exit with my shoulder, the impact rattling straight to my bones, and dragged him back into the gutter’s sting as a spray of water stung my cheeks. He twisted, slipping from my grip with a hunter’s ease, and damn near disappeared beneath the arch of a doorway that breathed blue neon. Not tonight, Tomás, I told myself, but saying it aloud never made it any easier to swallow the taste of copper on the air. He ran with that easy, practiced stride—the way a man who knows every alley by heart moves when the net tightens. Down the street he went, past the dim glow of a shopfront where a bell tinkled a tired warning, toward a corner where the green of a neon sign came alive and called like a lighthouse for ships that never should have left harbour. You’ve done this dance before. I cut the corner after him, the soles of my shoes biting into slick stone and chalk dust, every instinct honed by eighteen years in the job telling me to cut him off here, on street level, where I could still drag him back to the precinct and not lose him to some deeper trick. He turned—a sprinting arc, low to the ground—and I felt the world tilt as a bottle-glass crash behind us sent glass shivering along the pavement and a shout rip through the air like a blunt knife. Tomás Herrera wasn’t the kind man who introduced strangers to their better angels. The former paramedic wore olive skin like a second skin, a left forearm scored with a knife’s memory, and the Saint Christopher medallion that clung to his chest as if it could catch a miracle if he asked it softly enough. He paused only long enough to slip through a doorway manned by the kind of doorman who knew when to pretend not to see trouble. Quinn followed, the leather of her gloves creaking as she closed the distance and pressed the door shut behind them with a decisive thump. The chase bent in a doorway, into a hush that smelled of smoke and something metallic and old—an old world caught in a new city’s breath. A green glow carried us down a corridor that wasn’t meant for daylight, the kind of stairwell that existed in the margins of a city’s conscience. The Nest should have been the end of the line, but I knew better; the Nest was a hinge, a place where doorways led to doors that led to secrets. The Raven’s Nest—it called itself a bar, a refuge for those who wouldn’t be counted among the living’s rules. The sign flared distinctively green above the entrance, and the bar’s interior sounded a linear history: a clock’s tick-tock echoing in a room crowded with maps and black-and-white photographs. A manned front desk watched with bored eyes as Tomás slid past. A shadow of a smile tugged at Tomás’s lips; the fear in my chest fluttered, then settled into a cold, hard pocket. “Drop it, Tomás,” I said, voice low and even enough to pretend I wasn’t chasing questions, only a man who'd run out of chances. Tomás spun, and the esoteric calm he wore like a jacket peeled away to reveal the knife work of him beneath. “Detective,” he said, the Spanish cadence curling around the syllables. “You’re chasing a whisper through a room full of noise. You want the truth? You’ll have to push past the noise.” Behind him, a bookshelf—an ordinary thing in a place that thrummed with the impossible—flickered, then sighed open with a sigh like someone releasing a held breath. The shelf moved. A hidden back room yawned, and the heat of a dozen unseen glances pressed forward in a chorus of shadows. We both stepped through, the world narrowing to the hum of a ventilation shaft and the wet clack of heels on stone. The back room wasn’t a room at all but a mouth, and it closed behind us with a thud that sounded as if the city itself locked its jaws. There was no sound but the muffled breath of the two of us and the clatter of a distant bottle somewhere in the living archive of the Nest. Tomás’s shoulders pressed back, steady as a stone. “Why, Tomás?” I asked, not asking for an answer so much as forcing him into a confession he might pretend wasn’t his to give. “Why, Detective? This is what we do. You know the names behind the maps you pour over at the desk. You know the city devours its promises and leaves the rest begging for a mercy that never comes.” He lifted the Saint Christopher medallion, let it wink in the dim light; the metal caught a stray ray and threw it back at me with a cold little laugh. “The market isn’t a place you enter—you’re drawn into it. It chooses you.” The Veil Market wasn’t somewhere you walked into with a clear idea of what you wanted and what you’d lose. It was a consequence that fell into your life with a bone token clutched in your palm, a thing of bone-coloured ivory carved with runic dust that glowed faintly when you needed it most. The token’s glow wasn’t fire; it was more like a breath you could feel in your hands, a whisper that told you silence was easiest when you were already inside. Tomás’s escape route lay ahead, a corridor that opened into a world of markets and whispers. The door to the Veil Market stood at the end of a tunnel, a place where the air tasted of copper and spice and old spellwork. The market moved location with the cycle of the moon, and the memory of that fact sat in the back of my skull like a stubborn splinter. “Move carefully, Quinn,” Tomás said, his voice soft but not gentle. “That token isn’t just a key. It is a memory, and memories don’t always stay kind.” He didn’t give me time for more words. He bolted, a shadow with the arc of a street cat, and I followed into a corridor that angled down, down, down, until the air grew denser and the glow from the sign above us—a mark of green neon—flickered like a heartbeat. The Nest’s world receded behind us, replaced by the kind of place that would make a man believe the city’s soul itself had lungs and could cough up secrets if you pressed hard enough. The Veil Market had a different gravity from anything above. The stalls were carved out of old carriages and crates, the ceilings hung with charms that hissed with released magic, and the crowd moved with a shared understanding that the rules here did not belong to the daylight. Vendors called out in voices that could have been a whisper, a hiss, or a sudden horn—sometimes all three at once. The air carried a tang of ozone and something else, something metallic and old, like a coin left in a drawer for too long. “Bone token,” a stall-keeper whispered, eyes skimming the length of Tomás’s palm as if reading his future in its carved ridges. “Entry through the iron gate, not the wooden one. You know the price.” Tomás flashed the token, the ivory glow dimming in a way that suggested the item understood what it was doing more than he did. “You know who I am,” he said, and his tone carried the kind of certainty you only get when you accept that you’ve walked into an arrangement you didn’t write. Quinn remained a breath behind him. She studied the crowd with the trained calm of a hunter who knows the scent of danger without needing to name it. Her own badge sat heavy in her pocket, a stubborn thing that had never felt heavier than when it was used to drag a man like Tomás back into a world he’d chosen to leave. The market’s murmur rose and fell in waves around us, a strange language of hisses and soft clapping and whispered calculations. “Where is it, Tomás?” she asked, more to herself than to him, but the question cut through the market’s clatter and dragged his eyes toward her with a practiced ease. “North wing,” he replied, glancing at a stall where a woman with hair like wet copper pressed an object into a child’s hands with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “The cage at the back. The one with a lock no key ever fits.” He moved with purpose, and the city’s heartbeat followed, letting him slip between stalls as if he’d become the market’s shadow. I followed—not patient, not calm, but every bit the trained predator I’d spent years becoming. The crowd swelled around us, and a vendor’s shrill voice rose, then fell as if someone had pressed a mute switch. “Names have weight here,” a stall-keeper declared, sliding a glass case aside to reveal a row of talismans that hummed with a quiet blue. “Careful with what you bring in and what you take back out. The Veil remembers, and the Veil forgets very little.” “You want a memory erased?” a second vendor hissed from behind a velvet curtain, a voice as soft as a blade’s edge. “Or do you want a truth carved in better light?” Tomás slowed for a heartbeat, glancing over his shoulder as if listening to a conversation the rest of us couldn’t hear. The Saint Christopher medallion at his chest caught the muted glow of a spell that slept within the market’s walls. The badge on my own jacket pinched against my skin with the reminder of who I was—the hunter, not the prey, at least not today. The corridor split then, and we found ourselves facing a door set into the wall that looked ordinary enough, except for the rune that wrapped around its frame with a slow, deliberate pulse. The bone token warmed in Tomás’s hand, an response to the rune’s invitation. He held it up, and the glow leant toward him like a dog scenting a trail. “The iron gate,” he whispered, the phrase catching in a way that suggested more weight behind it than mere directions. “If you intend to follow, you’ll need to move faster than your breath can catch up.” “Don’t pretend you’re not bait,” I spat, the words sharp as a blade leaving a scabbard. “I’ve seen what you’ll do to stay out of the nets you throw for others.” Tomás halted, the glow of the token brightening for a moment, then dimming again, a heartbeat’s flicker of resistance. “Bait is a two-way street, Quinn. You know how this ends. You’ll chase until your legs tell you to stop and your neighbour’s prayers tell you to keep moving.” I did not let him see how his words pricked at the memory of DS Morris, the partner I’d lost three years ago to something none of us could name, a case with supernatural undertow that had left a cold taste in my mouth every time I drew breath to tell myself I’d seen the last of it. I shoved the memory down, pressed it into the back pocket where it belonged, and stepped after him into the darker reach of the market. The north wing opened onto a chamber that resembled a vault more than a stall. Metal shelves held jars filled with glimmering powders, coiled cords, and shards that looked almost like bones, arranged with the clinical precision of a ledger kept by someone who never forgot a debt. In the middle of the room, a cage sat behind a glass wall, the kind of thing you’d expect to see in a dungeon, only here it hummed with a living energy that lent the air a tremor you could feel in your teeth. Tomás moved toward the cage with a patient speed, as if he were walking toward a familiar patient rather than into a trap he’d laid for someone else. He slipped the token into a groove at the cage’s base, and the bar across the glass slid up with a sigh that sounded almost relieved. He stepped inside, not shrinking away from the choked breath of the market’s energy, and pressed a hand to the glass as if to steady something unseen. “Look at me,” he said, turning toward me with a calm I envied and could never borrow entirely. “You’re not going to find answers in the things you chase. They’re chasing you, Detective.” I locked my jaw and followed, every muscle in my body taut as if I’d swallowed a live wire. The cage opened from the inside with a soft click, and Tomás stepped back into the open area with a familiarity that suggested this scene wasn’t new to him, wasn’t new to any of them. Behind the cage, a corridor curled like a vise handle, linear and unyielding. The market’s hum rose in pitch as if something immense was waking up somewhere far beyond. The walls bore painted maps of places I recognised, places a detective might trace when there was more to the case than fingerprints and time sheets. The air tasted of copper and something smoke-dark and old—like the memory of a fire you can’t quite shake, no matter how many years you’ve stood in cold corridors pretending not to feel the heat. Tomás leaned closer, his breath ghosting along my jaw. “We feed the living what they crave and the dead what they deserve. The crowd here wants to forget. You want to remember.” “What are you?” I asked, a question that wasn’t meant to unlock a door so much as test the hinges for weakness. “A medic who never stopped treating the wounded,” he replied, the edge of a smile showing. “A guardian to those who won’t be saved. And, yes, a courier for the clique you pretend not to see.” The clique—the word clung to the back of my throat like a dry swallow of fear. The memory of DS Morris—of what he’d become, what he’d been promised—pushed at me again. I knew what this market did to men and women who wandered its shadowed aisles: it turned them into placeholders in a larger, colder ledger. Tomás moved again, and I followed, keeping him within the line of sight as if a thread connected us to something I couldn’t name. The market’s stalls stretched into a labyrinth, each booth a different temptation, each whisper a thread pulling in a different direction. The bone token’s glow moved with him, a small, pale sun in a sea of uncertain light. “Where did you put it?” I asked, not sure whether I was asking for a hiding place or a confession. He glanced at me, then away, his scar catching a glimmer of the market’s light. “Where you least expect it,” he said simply. “Between the walls and the water that runs through them. Between the promises you won’t keep and the ones you know you should. It’s a jail cell with velvet lining, Detective. You don’t break free by breaking the law. You break free by learning to see.” The chase turned again as the corridor bent and opened into an oval room lit by a ring of lanterns that didn’t burn wax but something closer to bottled night. In the centre stood a pedestal, and on it rested a device that looked as if it could steady a ship in a storm—a tool of obstruction, a mirror of truth, something I couldn’t immediately name. The room smelled of old metal and rain without rain, a scent you only notice when you’re losing your grip on a reality you’ve sworn to defend. Tomás paused before the pedestal, and the token in his hand hummed with a quiet insistence, as if it remembered something longer than either of us cared to admit. He turned to me, his eyes glinting with an unusual light, a mixture of fear and defiance I hadn’t expected to see again in him. “Detective,” he said, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “this ends the moment you decide you’re done running. You can walk away, take your badge, and pretend you never saw the way the market breathes. Or you can stay and learn what it means to belong to a city where the living owe a debt to the dead—and the dead are never the last word.” The floor trembled under the weight of something moving beneath us, a slow, deliberate shift that reminded me the Veil Market was not a place you navigated with maps or compass bearings. It answered only to its own sense of order, a treasury of bargains and betrayals. I could feel the weight of the decision pressing down on me, every nerve ending alive with the possibility that in crossing this threshold I would lose something more than my dignity. Tomás did not rush me. He stood still long enough for me to see the truth of him in the glint of the medallion, in the scar that ran along his forearm, in the look he gave me that said he’d become something I could not bend back into a policeman’s world. Then he turned and moved away, slipping into the market’s moving corridors as if he had been born to the labyrinth’s embrace. The market’s murmur rose again, a chorus that felt like a chorus of voices from a long funeral. I pressed after him, the token’s pale light crawling along my palm in answer to the power the room possessed. A stall flashed to life with a crackle of energy, and a vendor cried out something I could not translate, a phrase that sounded like a spell spoken by a mouth tired of secrets. We reached a new junction, a crossroads of nostalgia and necessity, where a sign read The Veil Market in runes I could not decipher at a glance, and a crowd pressed closer, not to see me but to see him—the courier with the medallion, the man who knew the market’s heartbeat as if it were a pulse map of his own chest. My breath came in measured, quiet gasps, and the city’s quiet ache seemed to echo off the walls, as if a second heart beat beneath the bricks, counting down until the moment when everything would break. Then came the moment it always comes: a clash of choices, the flutter of a plan collapsing into something brutal and certain. Tomás’s eyes found mine with a look that told me to stand down, to walk away, to pretend I hadn’t seen the truth that lay behind his calm, almost domestic smile. But I couldn’t let go of the chase. A door at the far end of the room slid open to admit a draft that smelled of charcoal and rain, and a pair of shadowed figures stepped through—henchmen, perhaps, or guardians of the market’s deeper secrets. The first one’s blade flashed in a flash of uncertain light; the second’s fingers closed around the hilt of a weapon that looked ancient as memory. Tomás moved like water around rock, a glide that kept him just ahead of me, but the corridor’s mouth was shrinking, trapping us in a corner where there could be only one escape. The cage’s glass glimmered as the crowd pressed in, and for a breathless moment the market seemed to tilt on its axis, as if the very gravity of this night had decided to tilt toward an ending. Tomás’s forearm flashed with a jagged, white scar, and the medallion against his chest caught the glow of the market’s lanterns in a way that made the metal seem almost to pulse with life. The lines around his jaw tightened with an expression I recognised all too well: a man who knew there would be no forgiveness for what came next. Then it happened: a low, grinding roar—not from any engine, but from the earth itself, a sound that crawled through the walls and shook the bones of everyone in the room. The Veil Market’s moving mechanism began to shift, walls sliding, stalls sliding with it, the entire place sliding like a ship turning in a canal. The token in Tomás’s hand cooled, the glow fading to a pale ember, and the room’s voices turned to a chorus of alarm and curiosity and fear. “Move!” Tomás shouted, the word a blade in the crowded air. He shoved past the nearest stall, the crowd parting like wheat before a scythe, and I followed, not chasing a man alone but chasing the truth the market refused to keep hidden. The tunnel’s walls closed in, the ceiling lowered, and the floor shifted underfoot, sending me tipping forward into a narrow, unseen passage that seemed to lead nowhere and everywhere at once. A hand closed over my sleeve, and for a heartbeat I thought Tomás had returned to pull me out of the tightening noose. But it was not Tomás. It was a tremor of the market’s sentience, a whisper of the bones and leather and old spells that made up the Veil Market’s very bones. In that moment, I realised the chase wasn’t only after a man; it was after the market’s own desire to remain hidden, to keep its library of sins sealed away behind doors that would not stay closed. I fought against the pull of the crowd, the weight of the token still warm on my palm, and forced myself to keep moving. The shoe-silence of the market’s aisles gave way to a sound I could recognise even through the market’s din—a choice being made, a decision I could not rewrite. Ahead of me, Tomás stepped into a wider corridor that opened onto the market’s deepest chamber, a room that looked more like a cathedral than a marketplace: arching ceilings, stalls carved into stone, and far away a door that seemed to breathe, the way a thing alive breathes when it wants something it shouldn’t have. A tremor ran through the ground beneath me. The crowd shifted, and someone cried out, a single word that cut through the others: “Now.” The gate between the market and the world above began to close with a slow, terrifying certainty. Tomás was at the far end, moving with the same calm that had always unsettled me, as if he knew the market’s choreography better than any of us ever would. The token’s light—the pale ember—flickered in his palm, then died. I surged forward, pushing through the crowd, the subsurface world pulling me into its grainy rhythm. The last thing I saw before a wall of bodies pressed against me was the edge of his smile, ruined by a line of fear he hadn’t shown since we’d first met. The last moment I held onto was a reminder of the decision before me: follow the suspect into a place where the rules are different from the world above, where a detective’s badge counts for less than a memory and a token. A shadow flashed in the corner of my eye, and the air thickened with the hum of power once more. The corridor before me sank into an unlit tunnel, the type of place you only meet in stories and in the breath between two heartbeats. Then the world went darker still, the kind of darkness that forgets the shape of a person, the sound of a name, the meaning of a promise. My breath shortened, my vision narrowed, and I knew I had two choices: turn back and drag the city’s rules with me, or press forward into the Veil Market’s inner sanctum where the truth waited, patient as a predator, for the moment I blinked. I moved. The market’s echo followed, riding the edge of a whisper, and I knew with a brutal clarity that I wasn’t chasing a man anymore. I was chasing a doorway—one that opened into a larger, more brutal question than the city would ever admit in daylight. The corridor narrowed into a throat, a tunnel gulping air in the dark, and when I reached the edge of the corridor a final time, the world tilted again and I understood that the truth I’d sought would not be offered with a tidy bow. The last thing I heard before the tunnel swallowed me whole was a soft, ironclad click—the sound of a lever being pulled somewhere far away—and a single breath of wind that carried Tomás’s voice, distant, but clear enough to hear in that instant: “Welcome to the Veil Market.”
created_at"2026-02-19T12:32:32.541Z" 2/19/2026, 12:32:32 PM
model"openai/gpt-5-nano-2025-08-07"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency5132
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time86948
tokens_prompt4663
tokens_completion6968
native_tokens_prompt4132
native_tokens_completion10295
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning5248
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0043246
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"50329d77-04e1-4979-a184-c33030289476"
id"resp_0666c5e38039363301699702e0a3288193bd2759abcb6be527"
is_byokfalse
latency131
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5-nano-2025-08-07"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771504352-FjhNnWxKBblxpwkKqJ04"
upstream_id"resp_0666c5e38039363301699702e0a3288193bd2759abcb6be527"
total_cost0.0043246
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags22
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"he said simply [simply]"
dialogueSentences36
tagDensity0.611
leniency1
rawRatio0.045
effectiveRatio0.045
94.02% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount4178
totalAiIsmAdverbs5
found
0
adverb"softly"
count1
1
adverb"carefully"
count1
2
adverb"very"
count3
highlights
0"softly"
1"carefully"
2"very"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
42.56% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount4178
totalAiIsms48
found
0
word"shattered"
count1
1
word"dance"
count1
2
word"echoing"
count1
3
word"fluttered"
count1
4
word"whisper"
count7
5
word"flickered"
count3
6
word"could feel"
count3
7
word"silence"
count2
8
word"practiced ease"
count1
9
word"predator"
count2
10
word"weight"
count5
11
word"velvet"
count2
12
word"reminder"
count2
13
word"pulse"
count3
14
word"flicker"
count1
15
word"familiar"
count1
16
word"glinting"
count1
17
word"trembled"
count1
18
word"navigated"
count1
19
word"sense of"
count1
20
word"glint"
count1
21
word"measured"
count1
22
word"echo"
count2
23
word"desire"
count1
24
word"unsettled"
count1
25
word"the last thing"
count2
highlights
0"shattered"
1"dance"
2"echoing"
3"fluttered"
4"whisper"
5"flickered"
6"could feel"
7"silence"
8"practiced ease"
9"predator"
10"weight"
11"velvet"
12"reminder"
13"pulse"
14"flicker"
15"familiar"
16"glinting"
17"trembled"
18"navigated"
19"sense of"
20"glint"
21"measured"
22"echo"
23"desire"
24"unsettled"
25"the last thing"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences151
matches(empty)
76.63% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount6
narrationSentences151
filterMatches
0"see"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences165
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen68
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords4141
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions45
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"Not tonight, Tomás, I told myself, but saying it aloud never made it any easier to swallow the taste of copper on the ai…"
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions64
wordCount3704
uniqueNames11
maxNameDensity0.81
worstName"Tomás"
maxWindowNameDensity2
worstWindowName"Tomás"
discoveredNames
Tomás30
Herrera1
Saint3
Christopher3
Nest5
Raven1
Spanish1
Veil8
Market8
Quinn2
Morris2
persons
0"Tomás"
1"Herrera"
2"Saint"
3"Christopher"
4"Nest"
5"Raven"
6"Market"
7"Quinn"
8"Morris"
places
0"Veil"
globalScore1
windowScore1
29.31% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences145
glossingSentenceCount7
matches
0"as if reading his future in its carved ridges"
1"as if listening to a conversation the rest of us couldn’t hear"
2"quite shake, no matter how many years you’ve stood in cold corridors pretending not to feel the heat"
3"felt like a chorus of voices from a lon"
4"sounded like a spell spoken by a mouth tir"
5"passage that seemed to lead nowhere and everywhere at once"
6"door that seemed to breathe, the way a thing alive breathes when it wants something it shouldn’t have"
30.96% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches7
per1kWords1.69
wordCount4141
matches
0"Not tonight, Tomás, I told myself, but saying it aloud never made it any easier to swallow the tast"
1"no sound but"
2"not patient, not calm, but every bit the trained predator I’d spent years becoming"
3"not calm, but every bit the trained predator I’d spent years becoming"
4"not to see me but to see him"
5"not from any engine, but from the earth itself, a sound"
6"not chasing a man alone but chasing the truth the market refused to keep hidden"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences165
matches
0"accept that you’ve"
1"understood that the"
66.78% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs64
mean64.7
std24.83
cv0.384
sampleLengths
089
189
25
391
4103
582
682
724
852
971
1065
1124
1281
1384
1469
1527
1684
1793
1834
1954
2084
2130
2245
2357
2445
2532
2666
2762
2836
2931
3048
3183
3292
3381
3433
3554
3690
3732
3822
3936
4056
4162
4220
4369
4493
4554
4665
4779
4874
4972
95.97% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences151
matches
0"were carved"
1"been promised"
2"being made"
3"being pulled"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount8
totalVerbs567
matches
0"wasn’t chasing"
1"was doing"
2"were walking"
3"was waking"
4"was asking"
5"was shrinking"
6"wasn’t chasing"
7"was chasing"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount26
semicolonCount6
flaggedSentences26
totalSentences165
ratio0.158
matches
0"He ran with that easy, practiced stride—the way a man who knows every alley by heart moves when the net tightens."
1"He turned—a sprinting arc, low to the ground—and I felt the world tilt as a bottle-glass crash behind us sent glass shivering along the pavement and a shout rip through the air like a blunt knife."
2"The chase bent in a doorway, into a hush that smelled of smoke and something metallic and old—an old world caught in a new city’s breath."
3"The Nest should have been the end of the line, but I knew better; the Nest was a hinge, a place where doorways led to doors that led to secrets."
4"The Raven’s Nest—it called itself a bar, a refuge for those who wouldn’t be counted among the living’s rules."
5"A shadow of a smile tugged at Tomás’s lips; the fear in my chest fluttered, then settled into a cold, hard pocket."
6"Behind him, a bookshelf—an ordinary thing in a place that thrummed with the impossible—flickered, then sighed open with a sigh like someone releasing a held breath."
7"“Why, Detective? This is what we do. You know the names behind the maps you pour over at the desk. You know the city devours its promises and leaves the rest begging for a mercy that never comes.” He lifted the Saint Christopher medallion, let it wink in the dim light; the metal caught a stray ray and threw it back at me with a cold little laugh."
8"The token’s glow wasn’t fire; it was more like a breath you could feel in your hands, a whisper that told you silence was easiest when you were already inside."
9"He bolted, a shadow with the arc of a street cat, and I followed into a corridor that angled down, down, down, until the air grew denser and the glow from the sign above us—a mark of green neon—flickered like a heartbeat."
10"Vendors called out in voices that could have been a whisper, a hiss, or a sudden horn—sometimes all three at once."
11"I followed—not patient, not calm, but every bit the trained predator I’d spent years becoming."
12"The badge on my own jacket pinched against my skin with the reminder of who I was—the hunter, not the prey, at least not today."
13"The air tasted of copper and something smoke-dark and old—like the memory of a fire you can’t quite shake, no matter how many years you’ve stood in cold corridors pretending not to feel the heat."
14"The clique—the word clung to the back of my throat like a dry swallow of fear."
15"The memory of DS Morris—of what he’d become, what he’d been promised—pushed at me again."
16"In the centre stood a pedestal, and on it rested a device that looked as if it could steady a ship in a storm—a tool of obstruction, a mirror of truth, something I couldn’t immediately name."
17"We reached a new junction, a crossroads of nostalgia and necessity, where a sign read The Veil Market in runes I could not decipher at a glance, and a crowd pressed closer, not to see me but to see him—the courier with the medallion, the man who knew the market’s heartbeat as if it were a pulse map of his own chest."
18"A door at the far end of the room slid open to admit a draft that smelled of charcoal and rain, and a pair of shadowed figures stepped through—henchmen, perhaps, or guardians of the market’s deeper secrets."
19"The first one’s blade flashed in a flash of uncertain light; the second’s fingers closed around the hilt of a weapon that looked ancient as memory."
20"Then it happened: a low, grinding roar—not from any engine, but from the earth itself, a sound that crawled through the walls and shook the bones of everyone in the room."
21"In that moment, I realised the chase wasn’t only after a man; it was after the market’s own desire to remain hidden, to keep its library of sins sealed away behind doors that would not stay closed."
22"The shoe-silence of the market’s aisles gave way to a sound I could recognise even through the market’s din—a choice being made, a decision I could not rewrite."
23"The token’s light—the pale ember—flickered in his palm, then died."
24"I was chasing a doorway—one that opened into a larger, more brutal question than the city would ever admit in daylight."
25"The last thing I heard before the tunnel swallowed me whole was a soft, ironclad click—the sound of a lever being pulled somewhere far away—and a single breath of wind that carried Tomás’s voice, distant, but clear enough to hear in that instant: “Welcome to the Veil Market.”"
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount3738
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount112
adverbRatio0.0299625468164794
lyAdverbCount15
lyAdverbRatio0.0040128410914927765
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences165
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences165
mean25.1
std11.76
cv0.468
sampleLengths
035
130
224
324
421
544
65
755
836
913
1041
1125
1224
1326
1426
1530
1619
1729
1812
1922
2024
2121
2210
2321
2426
253
2620
2722
2829
2928
308
3124
3268
3313
3420
3534
3630
3716
3826
3927
4011
4116
428
4342
4434
4510
4638
4721
4824
4921
36.67% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats22
diversityRatio0.24242424242424243
totalSentences165
uniqueOpeners40
88.89% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount4
totalSentences150
matches
0"Then he turned and moved"
1"Then came the moment it"
2"Then it happened: a low,"
3"Then the world went darker"
ratio0.027
84.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount51
totalSentences150
matches
0"I blocked the exit with"
1"He twisted, slipping from my"
2"He ran with that easy,"
3"You’ve done this dance before."
4"I cut the corner after"
5"He turned—a sprinting arc, low"
6"He paused only long enough"
7"I said, voice low and"
8"he said, the Spanish cadence"
9"We both stepped through, the"
10"I asked, not asking for"
11"He lifted the Saint Christopher"
12"It was a consequence that"
13"He didn’t give me time"
14"He bolted, a shadow with"
15"he said, and his tone"
16"She studied the crowd with"
17"Her own badge sat heavy"
18"she asked, more to herself"
19"he replied, glancing at a"
ratio0.34
10.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount135
totalSentences150
matches
0"A boot shattered the rhythm"
1"I blocked the exit with"
2"He twisted, slipping from my"
3"He ran with that easy,"
4"You’ve done this dance before."
5"I cut the corner after"
6"He turned—a sprinting arc, low"
7"Tomás Herrera wasn’t the kind"
8"The former paramedic wore olive"
9"He paused only long enough"
10"Quinn followed, the leather of"
11"The chase bent in a"
12"A green glow carried us"
13"The Nest should have been"
14"The Raven’s Nest—it called itself"
15"The sign flared distinctively green"
16"A manned front desk watched"
17"A shadow of a smile"
18"I said, voice low and"
19"Tomás spun, and the esoteric"
ratio0.9
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences150
matches(empty)
ratio0
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences118
technicalSentenceCount37
matches
0"A boot shattered the rhythm of the street, and the figure in black spilled into the narrow alley, coat flaring as if it were a banner in a storm the city preten…"
1"He twisted, slipping from my grip with a hunter’s ease, and damn near disappeared beneath the arch of a doorway that breathed blue neon."
2"Tomás Herrera wasn’t the kind man who introduced strangers to their better angels."
3"The former paramedic wore olive skin like a second skin, a left forearm scored with a knife’s memory, and the Saint Christopher medallion that clung to his ches…"
4"The chase bent in a doorway, into a hush that smelled of smoke and something metallic and old—an old world caught in a new city’s breath."
5"Behind him, a bookshelf—an ordinary thing in a place that thrummed with the impossible—flickered, then sighed open with a sigh like someone releasing a held bre…"
6"It was a consequence that fell into your life with a bone token clutched in your palm, a thing of bone-coloured ivory carved with runic dust that glowed faintly…"
7"He bolted, a shadow with the arc of a street cat, and I followed into a corridor that angled down, down, down, until the air grew denser and the glow from the s…"
8"The stalls were carved out of old carriages and crates, the ceilings hung with charms that hissed with released magic, and the crowd moved with a shared underst…"
9"Tomás flashed the token, the ivory glow dimming in a way that suggested the item understood what it was doing more than he did."
10"Her own badge sat heavy in her pocket, a stubborn thing that had never felt heavier than when it was used to drag a man like Tomás back into a world he’d chosen…"
11"He moved with purpose, and the city’s heartbeat followed, letting him slip between stalls as if he’d become the market’s shadow."
12"Tomás slowed for a heartbeat, glancing over his shoulder as if listening to a conversation the rest of us couldn’t hear."
13"The Saint Christopher medallion at his chest caught the muted glow of a spell that slept within the market’s walls."
14"The corridor split then, and we found ourselves facing a door set into the wall that looked ordinary enough, except for the rune that wrapped around its frame w…"
15"I did not let him see how his words pricked at the memory of DS Morris, the partner I’d lost three years ago to something none of us could name, a case with sup…"
16"Metal shelves held jars filled with glimmering powders, coiled cords, and shards that looked almost like bones, arranged with the clinical precision of a ledger…"
17"He stepped inside, not shrinking away from the choked breath of the market’s energy, and pressed a hand to the glass as if to steady something unseen."
18"I locked my jaw and followed, every muscle in my body taut as if I’d swallowed a live wire."
19"The market’s hum rose in pitch as if something immense was waking up somewhere far beyond."
20"I knew what this market did to men and women who wandered its shadowed aisles: it turned them into placeholders in a larger, colder ledger."
21"The chase turned again as the corridor bent and opened into an oval room lit by a ring of lanterns that didn’t burn wax but something closer to bottled night."
22"In the centre stood a pedestal, and on it rested a device that looked as if it could steady a ship in a storm—a tool of obstruction, a mirror of truth, somethin…"
23"Tomás paused before the pedestal, and the token in his hand hummed with a quiet insistence, as if it remembered something longer than either of us cared to admi…"
24"The floor trembled under the weight of something moving beneath us, a slow, deliberate shift that reminded me the Veil Market was not a place you navigated with…"
25"He stood still long enough for me to see the truth of him in the glint of the medallion, in the scar that ran along his forearm, in the look he gave me that sai…"
26"Then he turned and moved away, slipping into the market’s moving corridors as if he had been born to the labyrinth’s embrace."
27"We reached a new junction, a crossroads of nostalgia and necessity, where a sign read The Veil Market in runes I could not decipher at a glance, and a crowd pre…"
28"My breath came in measured, quiet gasps, and the city’s quiet ache seemed to echo off the walls, as if a second heart beat beneath the bricks, counting down unt…"
29"Tomás’s eyes found mine with a look that told me to stand down, to walk away, to pretend I hadn’t seen the truth that lay behind his calm, almost domestic smile…"
30"A door at the far end of the room slid open to admit a draft that smelled of charcoal and rain, and a pair of shadowed figures stepped through—henchmen, perhaps…"
31"Tomás moved like water around rock, a glide that kept him just ahead of me, but the corridor’s mouth was shrinking, trapping us in a corner where there could be…"
32"Tomás’s forearm flashed with a jagged, white scar, and the medallion against his chest caught the glow of the market’s lanterns in a way that made the metal see…"
33"The lines around his jaw tightened with an expression I recognised all too well: a man who knew there would be no forgiveness for what came next."
34"The tunnel’s walls closed in, the ceiling lowered, and the floor shifted underfoot, sending me tipping forward into a narrow, unseen passage that seemed to lead…"
35"Ahead of me, Tomás stepped into a wider corridor that opened onto the market’s deepest chamber, a room that looked more like a cathedral than a marketplace: arc…"
36"Tomás was at the far end, moving with the same calm that had always unsettled me, as if he knew the market’s choreography better than any of us ever would."
34.09% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags22
uselessAdditionCount4
matches
0"Tomás said, his voice soft but not gentle"
1"he replied, the edge of a smile showing"
2"he said, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper,"
3"Tomás shouted, the word a blade in the crowded air"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags19
fancyCount6
fancyTags
0"a stall-keeper whispered (whisper)"
1"a stall-keeper declared (declare)"
2"vendor hissed (hiss)"
3"he whispered (whisper)"
4"I spat (spit)"
5"Tomás shouted (shout)"
dialogueSentences36
tagDensity0.528
leniency1
rawRatio0.316
effectiveRatio0.316
69.6623%