Run: 2026-02-20-01KHY7J6Q6JZPQMMWZEEMCE1BJ

“Okay, Bill, walk me through it again. Slowly. Like I’m five. And possibly allergic to detailed planning.” Molly tapped a chipped mug against the formica table, sloshing lukewarm coffee. Bill sighed, pushing a plate of half-eaten toast away. “Right. Little Timmy Thompson. Turning six. Parents are…well, let’s just say they have more money than sense. Massive party, bouncy castle, the works. And mountains of presents.” “Mountains, you say?” Molly’s eyes lit up. “Like, Himalayan mountains? Or just a really enthusiastic pile?” “Enthusiastic. Big enough to warrant a van, though. That’s the point.” “A van. Of course. Because subtlety is *so* overrated.” “Look, the subtlety is in the *how* we get the presents, not the getting away with them. It’s a controlled extraction.” “Controlled. Right. Like herding cats. Especially six-year-old cats hopped up on sugar.” Molly grabbed a napkin and started folding it into elaborate origami, then abandoned it in frustration. “So, we’re going in during the party?” “Precisely. The chaos is our friend. Distraction, Molly, distraction. I’m thinking I’ll pose as a particularly enthusiastic magician. ‘Bill the Bewildering!’” He puffed out his chest. Molly snorted. “Bill the Bewildering? That’s…optimistic. You can barely make a rabbit disappear, and last time you tried, it bit Mrs. Higgins.” “Details, details. The point is, I'll keep them occupied with truly terrible magic tricks while *you* handle the present procurement.” “Procurement? You’ve been watching too many spy movies.” “It sounds more professional than ‘stealing,’ doesn’t it?” “Not really. And what’s the plan for actually *getting* the presents? Just waltz in with empty sacks?” “No, no. I've thought this through. We utilize the gift table's natural vulnerability.” “Vulnerability?” “It’s usually manned by a well-meaning but slightly overwhelmed aunt. Carol, I believe. I overheard her talking about a gluten allergy. We deploy Operation Gluten-Free Distraction.” Molly blinked. “Operation…Gluten-Free Distraction?” “I ask her, very sympathetically, about gluten-free cake options. Launch into a detailed, entirely fabricated story about my niece’s debilitating coeliac disease. It will take at least ten minutes to get through." “You’re going to fake a niece with coeliac disease? Bill!” “It’s for the greater good! While Aunt Carol is calming my fictional niece, *you* swoop in, load the gifts, and meet me at the van.” “And what if Timmy himself tries to defend his loot? He’s six, Bill. They’re surprisingly territorial.” “That's where the sparkly handkerchief comes in. It’s irresistible. Trust me.” Bill produced a gaudy, glitter-covered handkerchief from his pocket. “Distract and conquer, Molly. Distract and conquer.” Molly stared at him, then at the handkerchief. "This is either going to be brilliant, or we're spending the night in jail. Possibly both."