Run: 2026-02-20-01KHY7ZCT8PVXTQBPJPW07X1C6

Run Details

Duration:
17.3s
Cost:
$0.001446
Provider:
xAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Aurora Carter gripped the steering wheel of her battered Fiat as she navigated the winding paths of Richmond Park, the city's lights fading into a distant smear behind her. It was past midnight, and the summer night hung heavy, the kind of humid dark that clung to your skin like a second layer. She'd come here on a whim—or what felt like one—after the Heartstone Pendant had started thrumming against her chest two nights ago, a steady warmth that pulled her eastward like a compass needle. Eva had texted her about the old stories, the hidden groves in Richmond where time bent and the world thinned. "Check it out," her friend had urged. "Might be nothing, but after what happened with Evan... better to know what's out there." Rory hadn't argued. Anything to keep moving, to outrun the shadows that followed her from Cardiff. She parked at the edge of the deer park, killing the engine with a flick of her wrist. The silence rushed in immediately, thick and unbroken except for the faint rustle of leaves in the breeze. Rory stepped out, her trainers sinking slightly into the dew-slick grass. At 5'6", she moved with the quiet efficiency of someone used to late-night deliveries for the Golden Empress—back straight, eyes scanning the treeline. Her straight, shoulder-length black hair caught the moonlight as she slung her backpack over one shoulder, the pendant's silver chain cool against her collarbone despite the night's warmth. She glanced at her left wrist, tracing the small crescent scar with her thumb out of habit, a reminder of simpler falls from bicycles, not the deeper cuts life had since inflicted. The map on her phone led her deeper into the park, away from the paved paths where joggers might linger even at this hour. Ancient oaks loomed like sentinels, their branches twisting into shapes that suggested faces if she stared too long. Rory shook off the thought—too many ghost stories from her mother's Welsh tales—and pressed on. The air grew cooler as she walked, carrying a scent of wildflowers that shouldn't bloom in July's heat, let alone at night. Up ahead, the ground sloped downward, and there they were: the standing stones. Not the jagged monoliths of legend, but oaks grown impossibly straight and tall, their trunks etched with knots that formed runes under the faint glow of her phone's flashlight. The boundary, Eva had called it. The Fae Grove. Rory hesitated at the threshold, her bright blue eyes narrowing. The pendant warmed against her skin, not the faint pulse she'd felt before, but a steady throb, like a heartbeat syncing with her own. She crossed anyway, stepping into the clearing. It unfolded before her like a secret unfurled—a pocket of green velvet amid the park's wild sprawl. Wildflowers carpeted the ground in defiant bursts of color: lavender and foxglove nodding in the breeze, petals luminescent under the stars. No paths here, just soft earth that muffled her steps. In the center, a cluster of moss-covered boulders formed a natural altar, and beyond that, the trees encircled the space like a living wall, their leaves whispering secrets she couldn't quite catch. She'd come to see if the pendant's pull meant something real, something that might explain the nightmares that had chased her from London flat to flat since fleeing Evan. Silas's bar below her apartment was a safe haven, but the dreams—of eyes in the dark, hands that weren't his—lingered. Maybe this place held answers, or at least a distraction. Rory set her backpack down near the boulders and sat cross-legged, pulling out a thermos of tea from Yu-Fei's restaurant. The steam curled up, carrying the sharp tang of jasmine. She sipped, letting the warmth settle her nerves. The grove felt... peaceful, almost. Too peaceful. No crickets chirping, no distant traffic hum from the A307. Just the flowers and the trees. Minutes passed—or were they minutes? Rory checked her phone: 12:47 AM when she arrived, now still 12:47. She frowned, tapping the screen. No signal, but the clock hadn't budged. A glitch, probably. She pocketed it and stood, stretching her legs. The air tasted sweeter here, laced with honey she couldn't place. Walking the perimeter, she traced the standing oaks with her fingers, the bark rough and alive under her touch, as if it breathed in time with her. The pendant's glow began then—a faint crimson light seeping from beneath her shirt, illuminating the scar on her wrist like a tiny moon. She tugged it free, holding the thumbnail-sized gem up. It pulsed softly, syncing with the subtle sway of the branches overhead. That's when the first sound came. Not a crackle or snap, but a sigh. Long and drawn out, like wind through hollow reeds, but there was no wind. Rory froze, her head tilting toward the source—a thicket of brambles at the grove's edge, where shadows pooled deeper than they should. She waited, breath held, but the sigh didn't repeat. Imagination, she told herself, the cool-headed logic that had gotten her through law lectures and Evan's rages. She was alone; the park was empty at this hour. Still, she circled back to the boulders, her trainers whispering over the flowers, crushing petals that released a cloying perfume. Settling again, Rory closed her eyes, trying to attune to whatever the pendant wanted. Her mind drifted to Cardiff, to her father's stern lectures in the study, her mother's soft voice reading tales of the Tylwyth Teg. Fair folk who stole time, lured the unwary. Children's stories. But the warmth in her chest spread, lulling her into a half-doze. When her eyes snapped open, the stars had shifted—not the slow wheel of night, but a sudden lurch, as if the sky had blinked. Her phone: still 12:47. An hour had passed in her reverie; she felt it in the stiffness of her limbs. Impossible. A rustle then, from the trees. Soft, like silk dragged over stone. Rory's pulse quickened, her blue eyes darting to the encircling oaks. Nothing. Just leaves settling. She stood slowly, the pendant now hot against her skin, its glow brighter, casting erratic shadows on the boulders. The flowers seemed taller, their blooms unfurling further, petals brushing her calves as she moved. Another sound—a murmur, low and indistinct, like voices underwater. Not words, but the cadence of conversation, drifting from the brambles. Rory spun toward it, heart hammering. "Hello?" Her voice cracked the silence, too loud, echoing oddly back at her from the trees. No answer. But the murmurs persisted, weaving through the air like smoke. She took a step forward, then another, drawn despite the chill crawling up her spine. The standing stones loomed closer now, their trunks seeming to lean inward, branches intertwining overhead to form a canopy that blocked the stars. Time, she remembered—Eva's warning about time moving differently. What felt like minutes inside could be... She shook her head, focusing on the pendant. It guided her here; it would guide her out. But as she reached the brambles, a flicker at the edge of her vision: a shape, pale and elongated, slipping behind an oak. Not a deer—too fluid, too deliberate. Rory whipped around, her hair swinging across her face. Empty grove. Just flowers and stones. The certainty settled then, heavy as fog: she was not alone. It started as a prickle at the nape of her neck, then bloomed into a full-body awareness, like eyes boring into her from every shadow. The murmurs grew bolder, fragments emerging—her name? Rory? No, softer, like Laila, an alias she'd used once in London to vanish from Evan's reach. How? The air thickened, pressing against her ears, muffling her own breaths. She backed away from the brambles, toward the boulders, but the ground felt uneven now, the flowers coiling slightly underfoot, as if alive. Another flicker: to her left, a hand? No, just a branch swaying. But the pendant burned, its crimson light pulsing in warning, or invitation—she couldn't tell. Rory's mind raced, out-of-the-box solutions flashing: climb a tree for vantage, mark the stones to track her path out. But the grove had no edges anymore; the oaks encircled tighter, their whispers syncing with the murmurs. A laugh, faint and tinkling, like glass chimes in a storm. Not hers. She clutched the pendant, willing it to cool, to point the way home. The scar on her wrist itched, as if reopening. Sweat beaded on her forehead despite the chill, her delivery jacket feeling too thin, too mortal. Then, movement—real this time. At the periphery, where the flowers met the trees, forms shifted. Not solid, but outlines: slender figures, elongated limbs folding and unfolding like paper puppets. They didn't approach, just... watched. Rory's breath came in shallow bursts, her intelligent mind grappling for rationality. Hallucination from the tea? Exhaustion? But the pendant's glow affirmed it, illuminating glimpses: eyes, bright as her own but wrong, too many colors swirling. The murmurs resolved into a chorus, pulling at her—stay, Rory, see what we see. Her mother's stories flooded back: the fae who stole the curious, twisting time until you forgot the outside world. She bolted for the standing stones, the boundary. Petals clung to her jeans, thorns from nowhere snagging her sleeve. The figures flickered closer, their laughter a cascade now, echoing her own stifled gasp. Time warped visibly—the stars wheeled overhead in seconds, the flowers blooming and wilting in pulses. Her phone slipped from her pocket, screen frozen at 12:47, but the date had jumped: tomorrow? Yesterday? Panic clawed at her throat as she reached the oaks, fingers scraping bark that yielded like flesh. A hand—cold, not quite solid—brushed her arm. Rory jerked away, stumbling into the open park beyond. The grove snapped shut behind her, stones straightening as if never bent. She ran, legs burning, the pendant cooling to a dull warmth. The park paths reappeared, lit by distant lamps, the hum of traffic a lifeline. Gasping, she checked her phone: 1:15 AM. Twenty-eight minutes gone, but her body ached like hours. The figures' laughter faded into the wind, but the certainty lingered—she'd been seen, marked. The Fae Grove had tasted her, and now, wherever she went, the whispers would follow.
created_at"2026-02-20T19:21:09.716Z" 2/20/2026, 7:21:09 PM
model"x-ai/grok-4-fast"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1835
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time17036
tokens_prompt812
tokens_completion2597
native_tokens_prompt872
native_tokens_completion2588
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning393
native_tokens_cached151
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.00144575
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"c9586d9d-97ff-40ca-ae94-22504d6f9b7e"
id"f114a7c8-1d88-36c7-67d7-c45b8cff05d0"
is_byokfalse
latency128
model_permaslug"x-ai/grok-4-fast"
provider_name"xAI"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771615269-4QeoTtKvkth00C1IR9N6"
upstream_id"f114a7c8-1d88-36c7-67d7-c45b8cff05d0"
total_cost0.00144575
cache_discount0.00002265
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"xAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags4
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Rory jerked away [away]"
dialogueSentences4
tagDensity1
leniency1
rawRatio0.25
effectiveRatio0.25
88.45% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1731
totalAiIsmAdverbs4
found
0
adverb"slightly"
count2
1
adverb"softly"
count1
2
adverb"slowly"
count1
highlights
0"slightly"
1"softly"
2"slowly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
1.79% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1731
totalAiIsms34
found
0
word"navigated"
count1
1
word"warmth"
count5
2
word"silence"
count2
3
word"scanning"
count1
4
word"tracing"
count1
5
word"reminder"
count1
6
word"loomed"
count2
7
word"sentinels"
count1
8
word"etched"
count1
9
word"pulse"
count2
10
word"throb"
count1
11
word"velvet"
count1
12
word"traced"
count1
13
word"pulsed"
count1
14
word"lurch"
count1
15
word"silk"
count1
16
word"quickened"
count1
17
word"echoing"
count2
18
word"chill"
count2
19
word"flicker"
count2
20
word"raced"
count1
21
word"grappling"
count1
22
word"resolved"
count1
23
word"flickered"
count1
highlights
0"navigated"
1"warmth"
2"silence"
3"scanning"
4"tracing"
5"reminder"
6"loomed"
7"sentinels"
8"etched"
9"pulse"
10"throb"
11"velvet"
12"traced"
13"pulsed"
14"lurch"
15"silk"
16"quickened"
17"echoing"
18"chill"
19"flicker"
20"raced"
21"grappling"
22"resolved"
23"flickered"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences24
matches(empty)
23.81% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences24
filterMatches
0"see see"
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences24
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen132
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1697
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions10
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
98.98% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions41
wordCount1568
uniqueNames19
maxNameDensity1.02
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Carter1
Fiat1
Richmond2
Park1
Heartstone1
Pendant1
Rory16
Cardiff2
Welsh1
July1
Eva3
Fae1
Grove1
London2
Evan3
Yu-Fei1
Tylwyth1
Teg1
Laila1
persons
0"Carter"
1"Pendant"
2"Rory"
3"Eva"
4"Evan"
5"Laila"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"Cardiff"
3"July"
4"Fae"
5"Grove"
6"London"
7"Yu-Fei"
globalScore0.99
windowScore1
0.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences21
glossingSentenceCount6
matches
0"felt like one—after the Heartstone Pend"
1"quite catch"
2"seemed taller their blooms unfurling further, petals brushing her calves as she moved"
3"felt like minutes inside could be... Sh"
4"as if reopening"
5"p. Time warped visibly—the stars wheeled o"
0.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches6
per1kWords3.536
wordCount1697
matches
0"Not the jagged monoliths of legend, but oaks grown impossibly straight"
1"not the faint pulse she'd felt before, but a steady throb, like a heartbeat syncing with her own"
2"Not a crackle or snap, but a sigh"
3"not the slow wheel of night, but a sudden lurch, as if the sky had blinked"
4"Not words, but the cadence of conversation, drifting from the brambles"
5"Not solid, but outlines: slender figures, elongated limbs folding"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences24
matches(empty)
0.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs15
mean113.13
std16.65
cv0.147
sampleLengths
0144
1130
2130
3121
4120
5122
6106
7104
8103
9126
10121
1187
12103
1382
1498
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount0
totalSentences24
matches(empty)
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount0
totalVerbs273
matches(empty)
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount21
semicolonCount4
flaggedSentences14
totalSentences24
ratio0.583
matches
0"She'd come here on a whim—or what felt like one—after the Heartstone Pendant had started thrumming against her chest two nights ago, a steady warmth that pulled her eastward like a compass needle."
1"The map on her phone led her deeper into the park, away from the paved paths where joggers might linger even at this hour. Ancient oaks loomed like sentinels, their branches twisting into shapes that suggested faces if she stared too long. Rory shook off the thought—too many ghost stories from her mother's Welsh tales—and pressed on. The air grew cooler as she walked, carrying a scent of wildflowers that shouldn't bloom in July's heat, let alone at night. Up ahead, the ground sloped downward, and there they were: the standing stones. Not the jagged monoliths of legend, but oaks grown impossibly straight and tall, their trunks etched with knots that formed runes under the faint glow of her phone's flashlight. The boundary, Eva had called it. The Fae Grove."
2"Rory hesitated at the threshold, her bright blue eyes narrowing. The pendant warmed against her skin, not the faint pulse she'd felt before, but a steady throb, like a heartbeat syncing with her own. She crossed anyway, stepping into the clearing. It unfolded before her like a secret unfurled—a pocket of green velvet amid the park's wild sprawl. Wildflowers carpeted the ground in defiant bursts of color: lavender and foxglove nodding in the breeze, petals luminescent under the stars. No paths here, just soft earth that muffled her steps. In the center, a cluster of moss-covered boulders formed a natural altar, and beyond that, the trees encircled the space like a living wall, their leaves whispering secrets she couldn't quite catch."
3"She'd come to see if the pendant's pull meant something real, something that might explain the nightmares that had chased her from London flat to flat since fleeing Evan. Silas's bar below her apartment was a safe haven, but the dreams—of eyes in the dark, hands that weren't his—lingered. Maybe this place held answers, or at least a distraction. Rory set her backpack down near the boulders and sat cross-legged, pulling out a thermos of tea from Yu-Fei's restaurant. The steam curled up, carrying the sharp tang of jasmine. She sipped, letting the warmth settle her nerves. The grove felt... peaceful, almost. Too peaceful. No crickets chirping, no distant traffic hum from the A307. Just the flowers and the trees."
4"Minutes passed—or were they minutes? Rory checked her phone: 12:47 AM when she arrived, now still 12:47. She frowned, tapping the screen. No signal, but the clock hadn't budged. A glitch, probably. She pocketed it and stood, stretching her legs. The air tasted sweeter here, laced with honey she couldn't place. Walking the perimeter, she traced the standing oaks with her fingers, the bark rough and alive under her touch, as if it breathed in time with her. The pendant's glow began then—a faint crimson light seeping from beneath her shirt, illuminating the scar on her wrist like a tiny moon. She tugged it free, holding the thumbnail-sized gem up. It pulsed softly, syncing with the subtle sway of the branches overhead."
5"That's when the first sound came. Not a crackle or snap, but a sigh. Long and drawn out, like wind through hollow reeds, but there was no wind. Rory froze, her head tilting toward the source—a thicket of brambles at the grove's edge, where shadows pooled deeper than they should. She waited, breath held, but the sigh didn't repeat. Imagination, she told herself, the cool-headed logic that had gotten her through law lectures and Evan's rages. She was alone; the park was empty at this hour. Still, she circled back to the boulders, her trainers whispering over the flowers, crushing petals that released a cloying perfume."
6"Settling again, Rory closed her eyes, trying to attune to whatever the pendant wanted. Her mind drifted to Cardiff, to her father's stern lectures in the study, her mother's soft voice reading tales of the Tylwyth Teg. Fair folk who stole time, lured the unwary. Children's stories. But the warmth in her chest spread, lulling her into a half-doze. When her eyes snapped open, the stars had shifted—not the slow wheel of night, but a sudden lurch, as if the sky had blinked. Her phone: still 12:47. An hour had passed in her reverie; she felt it in the stiffness of her limbs. Impossible."
7"A rustle then, from the trees. Soft, like silk dragged over stone. Rory's pulse quickened, her blue eyes darting to the encircling oaks. Nothing. Just leaves settling. She stood slowly, the pendant now hot against her skin, its glow brighter, casting erratic shadows on the boulders. The flowers seemed taller, their blooms unfurling further, petals brushing her calves as she moved. Another sound—a murmur, low and indistinct, like voices underwater. Not words, but the cadence of conversation, drifting from the brambles. Rory spun toward it, heart hammering. \"Hello?\" Her voice cracked the silence, too loud, echoing oddly back at her from the trees."
8"No answer. But the murmurs persisted, weaving through the air like smoke. She took a step forward, then another, drawn despite the chill crawling up her spine. The standing stones loomed closer now, their trunks seeming to lean inward, branches intertwining overhead to form a canopy that blocked the stars. Time, she remembered—Eva's warning about time moving differently. What felt like minutes inside could be... She shook her head, focusing on the pendant. It guided her here; it would guide her out. But as she reached the brambles, a flicker at the edge of her vision: a shape, pale and elongated, slipping behind an oak. Not a deer—too fluid, too deliberate. Rory whipped around, her hair swinging across her face. Empty grove. Just flowers and stones."
9"The certainty settled then, heavy as fog: she was not alone. It started as a prickle at the nape of her neck, then bloomed into a full-body awareness, like eyes boring into her from every shadow. The murmurs grew bolder, fragments emerging—her name? Rory? No, softer, like Laila, an alias she'd used once in London to vanish from Evan's reach. How? The air thickened, pressing against her ears, muffling her own breaths. She backed away from the brambles, toward the boulders, but the ground felt uneven now, the flowers coiling slightly underfoot, as if alive. Another flicker: to her left, a hand? No, just a branch swaying. But the pendant burned, its crimson light pulsing in warning, or invitation—she couldn't tell."
10"Rory's mind raced, out-of-the-box solutions flashing: climb a tree for vantage, mark the stones to track her path out. But the grove had no edges anymore; the oaks encircled tighter, their whispers syncing with the murmurs. A laugh, faint and tinkling, like glass chimes in a storm. Not hers. She clutched the pendant, willing it to cool, to point the way home. The scar on her wrist itched, as if reopening. Sweat beaded on her forehead despite the chill, her delivery jacket feeling too thin, too mortal."
11"Then, movement—real this time. At the periphery, where the flowers met the trees, forms shifted. Not solid, but outlines: slender figures, elongated limbs folding and unfolding like paper puppets. They didn't approach, just... watched. Rory's breath came in shallow bursts, her intelligent mind grappling for rationality. Hallucination from the tea? Exhaustion? But the pendant's glow affirmed it, illuminating glimpses: eyes, bright as her own but wrong, too many colors swirling. The murmurs resolved into a chorus, pulling at her—stay, Rory, see what we see. Her mother's stories flooded back: the fae who stole the curious, twisting time until you forgot the outside world."
12"She bolted for the standing stones, the boundary. Petals clung to her jeans, thorns from nowhere snagging her sleeve. The figures flickered closer, their laughter a cascade now, echoing her own stifled gasp. Time warped visibly—the stars wheeled overhead in seconds, the flowers blooming and wilting in pulses. Her phone slipped from her pocket, screen frozen at 12:47, but the date had jumped: tomorrow? Yesterday? Panic clawed at her throat as she reached the oaks, fingers scraping bark that yielded like flesh."
13"A hand—cold, not quite solid—brushed her arm. Rory jerked away, stumbling into the open park beyond. The grove snapped shut behind her, stones straightening as if never bent. She ran, legs burning, the pendant cooling to a dull warmth. The park paths reappeared, lit by distant lamps, the hum of traffic a lifeline. Gasping, she checked her phone: 1:15 AM. Twenty-eight minutes gone, but her body ached like hours. The figures' laughter faded into the wind, but the certainty lingered—she'd been seen, marked. The Fae Grove had tasted her, and now, wherever she went, the whispers would follow."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount177
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount3
adverbRatio0.01694915254237288
lyAdverbCount2
lyAdverbRatio0.011299435028248588
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences24
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences24
mean70.71
std45.47
cv0.643
sampleLengths
029
124
233
320
47
518
613
718
818
911
1083
11130
12121
13120
14122
15106
16104
17103
18126
19121
2087
21103
2282
2398
100.00% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats0
diversityRatio0.6666666666666666
totalSentences24
uniqueOpeners16
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences23
matches
0"Then, movement—real this time. At"
ratio0.043
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount6
totalSentences23
matches
0"It was past midnight, and"
1"She'd come here on a"
2"her friend had urged"
3"She parked at the edge"
4"She'd come to see if"
5"She bolted for the standing"
ratio0.261
25.22% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount20
totalSentences23
matches
0"Aurora Carter gripped the steering"
1"It was past midnight, and"
2"She'd come here on a"
3"Eva had texted her about"
4"her friend had urged"
5"Rory hadn't argued"
6"Anything to keep moving, to"
7"She parked at the edge"
8"The silence rushed in immediately,"
9"Rory stepped out, her trainers"
10"The map on her phone"
11"Rory hesitated at the threshold,"
12"She'd come to see if"
13"Minutes passed—or were they minutes?"
14"That's when the first sound"
15"A rustle then, from the"
16"The certainty settled then, heavy"
17"Rory's mind raced, out-of-the-box solutions"
18"She bolted for the standing"
19"A hand—cold, not quite solid—brushed"
ratio0.87
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences23
matches(empty)
ratio0
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences19
technicalSentenceCount12
matches
0"She'd come here on a whim—or what felt like one—after the Heartstone Pendant had started thrumming against her chest two nights ago, a steady warmth that pulled…"
1"The map on her phone led her deeper into the park, away from the paved paths where joggers might linger even at this hour. Ancient oaks loomed like sentinels, t…"
2"Rory hesitated at the threshold, her bright blue eyes narrowing. The pendant warmed against her skin, not the faint pulse she'd felt before, but a steady throb,…"
3"She'd come to see if the pendant's pull meant something real, something that might explain the nightmares that had chased her from London flat to flat since fle…"
4"Minutes passed—or were they minutes? Rory checked her phone: 12:47 AM when she arrived, now still 12:47. She frowned, tapping the screen. No signal, but the clo…"
5"That's when the first sound came. Not a crackle or snap, but a sigh. Long and drawn out, like wind through hollow reeds, but there was no wind. Rory froze, her …"
6"Settling again, Rory closed her eyes, trying to attune to whatever the pendant wanted. Her mind drifted to Cardiff, to her father's stern lectures in the study,…"
7"No answer. But the murmurs persisted, weaving through the air like smoke. She took a step forward, then another, drawn despite the chill crawling up her spine. …"
8"The certainty settled then, heavy as fog: she was not alone. It started as a prickle at the nape of her neck, then bloomed into a full-body awareness, like eyes…"
9"Rory's mind raced, out-of-the-box solutions flashing: climb a tree for vantage, mark the stones to track her path out. But the grove had no edges anymore; the o…"
10"Then, movement—real this time. At the periphery, where the flowers met the trees, forms shifted. Not solid, but outlines: slender figures, elongated limbs foldi…"
11"She bolted for the standing stones, the boundary. Petals clung to her jeans, thorns from nowhere snagging her sleeve. The figures flickered closer, their laught…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags3
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags0
67.9414%