Run: 2026-02-20-01KHY92T4DWCJF044EZG7VDJFD

Run Details

Duration:
31.5s
Cost:
$0.001653
Provider:
xAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rain slicked the Soho streets, turning the pavement into a mirror of blurred neon and hurried shadows. Aurora Carter—Rory to those who mattered—pushed through the green glow of The Raven's Nest's sign, the door's bell jangling like a half-forgotten warning. Her shoulder-length black hair clung damp to her neck, and her delivery jacket, emblazoned with Golden Empress in faded gold letters, dripped onto the worn floorboards. It was half-past ten on a Thursday, the kind of hour when the bar's dim amber light promised oblivion without pretense. She'd only moved into the flat upstairs three days ago—cheap rent, proximity to work, and a vague assurance from the estate agent that the owner was "discreet." Rory hadn't ventured down yet. Deliveries kept her pedaling through London's arteries all day, dodging cabs and tourists, her thighs burning under the strain. Tonight, though, Yu-Fei had cut her early after a slow rush, and the flat's empty silence gnawed like hunger. A pint, maybe two, then bed. The bar hummed with low chatter, a handful of patrons hunched over their drinks: a woman in a trench coat nursing whiskey, two men debating football in murmurs. Walls papered with sepia photographs—grainy spies in trench coats, or were they just actors?—and yellowed maps of cities Rory half-recognized: Prague, Berlin, Cardiff. She shook off the chill and slid onto a stool at the far end, away from the light. The bartender emerged from the back, wiping his hands on a rag. Tall, broad-shouldered, grey-streaked auburn hair swept back, a neatly trimmed beard framing a face etched with lines that spoke of decisions long calcified. Hazel eyes flicked up, and he paused, rag suspended. Rory ordered without looking fully—a pint of bitter, thanks—her gaze on the scarred wood of the bar. He poured in silence, the pump hissing, foam cresting like a threat. She sipped, the ale sharp and earthy, cutting through the damp in her throat. Footsteps approached, uneven: a slight hitch, left leg dragging just enough to notice. She glanced up, and the world tilted. "Silas?" He stopped, glass midway to setting down. The silver signet ring on his right hand caught the light, glinting like a secret. "Rory Carter. Christ almighty." Her bright blue eyes widened, tracing the changes: the limp she'd never known, the grey threading his hair like frost on autumn leaves, the quiet authority now laced with weariness. Last she'd seen him, properly seen him, was eight—no, nine—years ago. Summer before uni, her father's old friend from some barrister circuit, dropping by the Cardiff house with stories that skirted the edges of classified. Silas Blackwood, the man who'd taught a gawky sixteen-year-old Rory sleight-of-hand tricks with coins and lies, who'd winked and said, "Truth's overrated, kid. Pick your fictions wisely." He looked... diminished, yet not. Still 6'1" of coiled presence, but the knee—Prague, Brendan had whispered later—had carved its toll. "What are you doing here?" she asked, voice thinner than intended. "Pouring pints." He slid the glass closer, leaned on the bar, favoring his right side. "This is my place. And you? Brendan said you were in London now. Pre-Law starlet, conquering the courts." Rory's laugh scraped out, bitter as the ale. She twisted her left wrist absently, thumb tracing the crescent scar from that stupid bike crash at twelve—Silas had bandaged it once, grumbling about tetanus while her father laughed. "Conquering. Right. Dropped out last year. Live upstairs now. Delivery gig for a Chinese place in Chinatown. Glamorous, innit?" His hazel eyes sharpened, probing without mercy. He poured himself a finger of scotch, no ice, and settled opposite her, the bar between them like a no-man's-land. "Upstairs? Eva sort you out with that?" She nodded, surprised he knew. Childhood friend Eva, the one who'd yanked her from Evan's grip six months back—bruises fading but echoes loud. "Yeah. Said the owner was solid. Didn't mention it was you." "Keeps the riffraff away." He sipped, eyes never leaving hers. "You look good, Rory. Tired, but good." "Liar." She met his gaze, saw the flicker—recognition of the hollows under her eyes, the tension in her shoulders from more than rain. "You, though... the limp. Dad mentioned, but seeing it..." "Prague," he said simply, as if naming a bus stop. "Botched op. Knee's titanium now, mostly. Retired to this." He gestured at the bar, the maps curling at edges, photographs of ghosts. "The Raven's Nest. Front for... well, nostalgia mostly these days." She leaned forward, elbows on wood sticky with spills. Time rushed in, unbidden: Silas at nineteen, no—twenty-five then, vibrant, spinning tales of shadows in Vienna while flipping coasters into her palm. He'd been her father's contact, peripheral MI6 orbit, the exciting uncle who vanished for months. She'd idolized him, scribbled spy novels in margins of textbooks. "Nostalgia. You? The Spymaster, Si, reduced to pulling pints?" His chuckle rumbled low, but his eyes darkened. "Spymaster. Cute nickname. Earned it once." He tapped the signet ring, a habit. "Time changes the game, Rory. You learn to fold or you lose the pot." The woman in the trench coat left, bell jangling, leaving a chill draft. Rory shivered, shrugged off her jacket. Underneath, a faded Cardiff Uni hoodie—relic of ambitions abandoned. "Folded plenty. Evan—you remember him? Childhood sweetheart turned nightmare. Fled here on Eva's say-so. Law school's a joke now. What's the point when the world's all smoke?" Silas poured her a refill without asking, foam perfect. "Evan. Yeah, Brendan mentioned the bruises. Should've handled it myself." Regret shadowed his face, a momentary fracture in the calm. "You? In Cardiff?" She shook her head, black hair swinging. "You're Soho now. Raven's Nest. Hiding in plain sight." "Not hiding." He straightened, limp forgotten for a beat. "Living. Contacts trickle in—old assets, favors owed. The back room..." He nodded toward the bookshelf in shadow, volumes of Orwell and Le Carré spines unbroken. "Still sees use. But it's quieter. Safer." She glanced at the shelf, imagined the hidden latch, the clandestine whispers. "Safer. That's your regret, then? The quiet life?" His fingers drummed the bar, ring clicking softly. "Regrets are luxuries, Rory. Prague taught me that. Lost a partner there—good man, faster than me. Limp's the price for surviving." He paused, eyes on her scar. "You? Dropping law, shacking up above a dive. That's not the girl who outfoxed me at poker with a pair of deuces." Heat pricked her cheeks. "That girl grew up. Evan... he broke things. Not just skin." She swallowed, voice dropping. "Dad wanted me to fight it legally. Barrister blood and all. But courts are just another game, rigged for the ones with clean hands. I ran instead." Silas reached across, hesitated, then covered her hand with his—callused, steady. "Running's not folding, kid. It's repositioning." But his voice cracked, hazel eyes stormy. "Wish I'd been there. After Prague, I cut ties. Brendan called once, said you were spiraling. Pre-Law was your out. Thought you'd climb." The weight settled, heavy as the rain outside pattering harder now. Nine years: she'd been the prodigy, quick-thinking Rory with out-of-the-box escapes from family dinners. He'd been the legend, promising the world was hers to decode. Now, she pedaled dim sum through drizzle, he limped behind a bar. Unspoken: his regret for vanishing into retirement, her for chasing a love that caged her. "You could've called," she said softly, pulling her hand back but not harshly. "Si. We were... friends." "Were." He echoed it, tasting the word. Poured another scotch, deeper this time. "Thought you'd outgrow the old spy. Find your own nest." She laughed again, genuine this time, tracing the bar's scars with her nail. "Nest. Fitting. Eva said you were discreet. Didn't say mentor." The door swung open, two suits entering, laughing too loud. Silas straightened, authority snapping back like a blade. "Duty calls. But Rory—stay. Flat's yours as long as you need. No rent hike." She nodded, pint half-gone, warmth spreading. "Thanks, Si. For the beer. And... seeing me." He limped away, serving the suits with clipped efficiency, but his glance back lingered—hazel on blue, bridging the chasm. Time hadn't erased them; it had scarred them both, crescents on wrists and knees. Regret hung in the air, thick as smoke, but beneath it, possibility stirred. The Raven's Nest wasn't just a bar. It was a perch. Rory sipped slower now, watching him move through the dim light. Maps on walls whispered of paths untaken—Berlin's alleys, Cardiff's courts. She'd changed: no longer the girl with stars in her eyes, but sharper, resilient. Silas had weathered into something steadfast, his spymaster edge dulled but not blunted. Conversation flowed in fits as the night deepened—he darted back between orders, sharing fragments: a contact in Yu-Fei's kitchen funneling whispers from Hong Kong, Eva's latest escapade in PR. "You still think fast," he said during a lull, wiping a glass. "Delivery dodging taxis? Better than my old foot chases." She smirked, flexing her wrist. "Scar's my lucky charm. Yours?" He tapped his knee. "Anchor." Midnight neared, patrons thinning. The woman in trench coat returned briefly, slipped Silas an envelope through the bookshelf—gone in seconds. Rory watched, pulse quickening. "Still playing?" "Old habits." He pocketed it, eyes twinkling. "You in?" She drained her pint, stood, jacket slung over shoulder. "Maybe. Time to climb again." He nodded, no more words needed. As she climbed the creaking stairs to her flat, rain easing, the weight lifted fractionally. Time was a thief, but tonight, in the Nest's glow, they'd reclaimed a piece. Unspoken regrets lingered, but friendship—mentorship—endured, scarred and true. (Word count: 1427)
created_at"2026-02-20T19:40:30.234Z" 2/20/2026, 7:40:30 PM
model"x-ai/grok-4.1-fast"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency432
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time31369
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion2723
native_tokens_prompt937
native_tokens_completion3211
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning941
native_tokens_cached936
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0016525
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9821aa0e-dce3-4c27-9716-161359123d0b"
id"a38e2737-48e5-cb8d-724d-2a874dca7ede"
is_byokfalse
latency149
model_permaslug"x-ai/grok-4.1-fast"
provider_name"xAI"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771616430-Ya9qtrXpUHwBTDWaGlIG"
upstream_id"a38e2737-48e5-cb8d-724d-2a874dca7ede"
total_cost0.0016525
cache_discount0.0001404
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"xAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
97.44% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags39
adverbTagCount4
adverbTags
0"She'd only [only]"
1"he said simply [simply]"
2"she said softly [softly]"
3"She laughed again [again]"
dialogueSentences65
tagDensity0.6
leniency1
rawRatio0.103
effectiveRatio0.103
93.87% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount1632
totalAiIsmAdverbs2
found
0
adverb"softly"
count2
highlights
0"softly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
26.47% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount1632
totalAiIsms24
found
0
word"silence"
count2
1
word"chill"
count2
2
word"etched"
count1
3
word"flicked"
count1
4
word"footsteps"
count1
5
word"glinting"
count1
6
word"tracing"
count3
7
word"echoes"
count1
8
word"flicker"
count1
9
word"tension"
count1
10
word"perfect"
count1
11
word"clandestine"
count1
12
word"weight"
count2
13
word"unspoken"
count2
14
word"echoed"
count1
15
word"warmth"
count1
16
word"charm"
count1
17
word"pulse"
count1
highlights
0"silence"
1"chill"
2"etched"
3"flicked"
4"footsteps"
5"glinting"
6"tracing"
7"echoes"
8"flicker"
9"tension"
10"perfect"
11"clandestine"
12"weight"
13"unspoken"
14"echoed"
15"warmth"
16"charm"
17"pulse"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
1
label"hung in the air"
count1
highlights
0"eyes widened"
1"hung in the air"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences127
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences127
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences133
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen80
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords1588
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions18
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"Yeah, Brendan mentioned the bruises."
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions79
wordCount1365
uniqueNames34
maxNameDensity0.88
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Soho2
Carter1
Rory12
Raven4
Nest5
Golden1
Empress1
Thursday1
London2
Yu-Fei2
Prague3
Berlin2
Cardiff4
Blackwood1
Silas8
Chinese1
Chinatown1
Eva5
Evan3
Tired1
Knee1
Vienna1
Spymaster1
Si1
Uni1
Brendan3
Contacts1
Dropping1
Heat1
Find1
Hong1
Kong1
Better1
Time4
persons
0"Carter"
1"Rory"
2"Raven"
3"Nest"
4"Yu-Fei"
5"Blackwood"
6"Silas"
7"Eva"
8"Evan"
9"Knee"
10"Si"
11"Brendan"
12"Contacts"
13"Dropping"
14"Heat"
15"Time"
places
0"Soho"
1"London"
2"Prague"
3"Berlin"
4"Cardiff"
5"Chinese"
6"Chinatown"
7"Vienna"
8"Hong"
9"Kong"
globalScore1
windowScore1
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences66
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"as if naming a bus stop"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount1588
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences133
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs42
mean37.81
std23.24
cv0.615
sampleLengths
087
176
269
373
434
51
626
792
831
933
1056
1134
1234
1317
1432
1542
1665
1735
1855
1929
2019
2141
2220
2357
2446
2547
2663
2717
2823
2923
3032
3114
3257
3377
3421
3510
365
3726
389
3914
4043
413
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount0
totalSentences127
matches(empty)
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs279
matches
0"were spiraling"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount26
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences19
totalSentences133
ratio0.143
matches
0"Aurora Carter—Rory to those who mattered—pushed through the green glow of The Raven's Nest's sign, the door's bell jangling like a half-forgotten warning."
1"She'd only moved into the flat upstairs three days ago—cheap rent, proximity to work, and a vague assurance from the estate agent that the owner was \"discreet.\" Rory hadn't ventured down yet."
2"Walls papered with sepia photographs—grainy spies in trench coats, or were they just actors?—and yellowed maps of cities Rory half-recognized: Prague, Berlin, Cardiff."
3"Rory ordered without looking fully—a pint of bitter, thanks—her gaze on the scarred wood of the bar."
4"Last she'd seen him, properly seen him, was eight—no, nine—years ago."
5"Rory's laugh scraped out, bitter as the ale. She twisted her left wrist absently, thumb tracing the crescent scar from that stupid bike crash at twelve—Silas had bandaged it once, grumbling about tetanus while her father laughed. \"Conquering."
6"She nodded, surprised he knew. Childhood friend Eva, the one who'd yanked her from Evan's grip six months back—bruises fading but echoes loud. \"Yeah."
7"\"Liar.\" She met his gaze, saw the flicker—recognition of the hollows under her eyes, the tension in her shoulders from more than rain. \"You, though..."
8"She leaned forward, elbows on wood sticky with spills. Time rushed in, unbidden: Silas at nineteen, no—twenty-five then, vibrant, spinning tales of shadows in Vienna while flipping coasters into her palm. He'd been her father's contact, peripheral MI6 orbit, the exciting uncle who vanished for months. She'd idolized him, scribbled spy novels in margins of textbooks. \"Nostalgia."
9"The woman in the trench coat left, bell jangling, leaving a chill draft. Rory shivered, shrugged off her jacket. Underneath, a faded Cardiff Uni hoodie—relic of ambitions abandoned. \"Folded plenty."
10"Evan—you remember him?"
11"Contacts trickle in—old assets, favors owed."
12"Lost a partner there—good man, faster than me."
13"Silas reached across, hesitated, then covered her hand with his—callused, steady. \"Running's not folding, kid."
14"But Rory—stay."
15"He limped away, serving the suits with clipped efficiency, but his glance back lingered—hazel on blue, bridging the chasm. Time hadn't erased them; it had scarred them both, crescents on wrists and knees. Regret hung in the air, thick as smoke, but beneath it, possibility stirred. The Raven's Nest wasn't just a bar. It was a perch."
16"Rory sipped slower now, watching him move through the dim light. Maps on walls whispered of paths untaken—Berlin's alleys, Cardiff's courts. She'd changed: no longer the girl with stars in her eyes, but sharper, resilient. Silas had weathered into something steadfast, his spymaster edge dulled but not blunted. Conversation flowed in fits as the night deepened—he darted back between orders, sharing fragments: a contact in Yu-Fei's kitchen funneling whispers from Hong Kong, Eva's latest escapade in PR."
17"Midnight neared, patrons thinning. The woman in trench coat returned briefly, slipped Silas an envelope through the bookshelf—gone in seconds. Rory watched, pulse quickening. \"Still playing?\""
18"He nodded, no more words needed. As she climbed the creaking stairs to her flat, rain easing, the weight lifted fractionally. Time was a thief, but tonight, in the Nest's glow, they'd reclaimed a piece. Unspoken regrets lingered, but friendship—mentorship—endured, scarred and true."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount789
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount26
adverbRatio0.032953105196451206
lyAdverbCount8
lyAdverbRatio0.010139416983523447
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences133
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences133
mean11.94
std12.65
cv1.06
sampleLengths
017
123
226
321
432
519
619
76
828
923
1018
1112
1223
139
1417
1512
1614
1713
187
191
207
2115
224
2330
2411
2524
2627
272
283
2926
3019
312
327
335
3438
351
364
373
388
392
4028
416
4224
435
445
4514
463
4725
482
495
100.00% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats0
diversityRatio0.6240601503759399
totalSentences133
uniqueOpeners83
31.45% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences106
matches
0"Still are you doing"
ratio0.009
91.70% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount34
totalSentences106
matches
0"Her shoulder-length black hair clung"
1"It was half-past ten on"
2"She'd only moved into the"
3"She shook off the chill"
4"He poured in silence, the"
5"She sipped, the ale sharp"
6"She glanced up, and the"
7"He stopped, glass midway to"
8"Her bright blue eyes widened,"
9"He slid the glass closer,"
10"His hazel eyes sharpened, probing"
11"She nodded, surprised he knew."
12"He sipped, eyes never leaving"
13"She met his gaze, saw"
14"he said simply, as if"
15"She leaned forward, elbows on"
16"His chuckle rumbled low, but"
17"You learn to fold or"
18"He straightened, limp forgotten for"
19"She glanced at the shelf,"
ratio0.321
92.08% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount78
totalSentences106
matches
0"Rain slicked the Soho streets,"
1"Aurora Carter—Rory to those who"
2"Her shoulder-length black hair clung"
3"It was half-past ten on"
4"She'd only moved into the"
5"Deliveries kept her pedaling through"
6"Tonight, though, Yu-Fei had cut"
7"A pint, maybe two, then"
8"The bar hummed with low"
9"Walls papered with sepia photographs—grainy"
10"She shook off the chill"
11"The bartender emerged from the"
12"Hazel eyes flicked up, and"
13"Rory ordered without looking fully—a"
14"He poured in silence, the"
15"She sipped, the ale sharp"
16"Footsteps approached, uneven: a slight"
17"She glanced up, and the"
18"He stopped, glass midway to"
19"The silver signet ring on"
ratio0.736
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences106
matches(empty)
ratio0
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences24
technicalSentenceCount6
matches
0"Aurora Carter—Rory to those who mattered—pushed through the green glow of The Raven's Nest's sign, the door's bell jangling like a half-forgotten warning."
1"Deliveries kept her pedaling through London's arteries all day, dodging cabs and tourists, her thighs burning under the strain."
2"Tall, broad-shouldered, grey-streaked auburn hair swept back, a neatly trimmed beard framing a face etched with lines that spoke of decisions long calcified."
3"Summer before uni, her father's old friend from some barrister circuit, dropping by the Cardiff house with stories that skirted the edges of classified."
4"The weight settled, heavy as the rain outside pattering harder now. Nine years: she'd been the prodigy, quick-thinking Rory with out-of-the-box escapes from fam…"
5"Rory sipped slower now, watching him move through the dim light. Maps on walls whispered of paths untaken—Berlin's alleys, Cardiff's courts. She'd changed: no l…"
53.57% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags21
uselessAdditionCount3
matches
0"He sipped, eyes never leaving hers"
1"he said simply, as if naming a bus stop"
2"He pocketed, eyes twinkling"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags6
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"Dad mentioned (mention)"
1"Silas poured (pour)"
2"She laughed again (laugh)"
dialogueSentences65
tagDensity0.092
leniency0.185
rawRatio0.5
effectiveRatio0.092
82.8857%