Run: 2026-02-20-01KHY9CXTN27YYHFWFWG5Q7ZZH

“Right, so, the kids’ party. Saturday. Little Timmy Henderson’s fifth birthday. Theme’s ‘Pirates and Rainbows,’ which, frankly, is a logistical nightmare.” “Logistical nightmare is my middle name, Molly. Well, not really. It’s Bartholomew. But you get the point.” “Bartholomew. Seriously? Okay. So, the parents. Heavily distracted, I’m guessing?” “Predictably. Like a flock of pigeons after a dropped crumb. The moms are all vying for the ‘best parent’ award, and the dads… well, the dads are mostly staring at the bouncy castle.” “Excellent. Bouncy castle distraction. Perfect. Now, the presents. We’re talking an estimated…?” “Conservative estimate? Thirty-seven. Optimistic? Sixty-three. I’ve been observing the invitations. They're sent via ‘Insta-Party,’ so everyone's posting pictures of their gift lists. I’ve cross-referenced. It's a treasure trove.” “Thirty-seven to sixty-three. We’ll aim for sixty-three. We need room for bulk wrapping paper. And glitter. Don’t forget the glitter. That’s crucial to the operation.” “Absolutely crucial. It’s the element of chaos, Bill. It’s what makes it *fun*. What about the security?” “The security guard is Reginald. He’s seventy-two, spends most of his time complaining about the humidity, and his eyesight is… let’s just say he’s convinced the balloons are hostile.” “Reginald. Fantastic. So we’re relying on geriatric apathy? This is brilliant.” “It’s efficient. I’ve rigged a distraction – a very loud, operatic rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ played through a small speaker. He’ll be too busy flinching.” “Operatic ‘Happy Birthday’? Seriously?” “Don’t underestimate the power of a poorly executed soprano, Molly. It deeply unsettles Reginald.” “Okay, okay. Point taken. And the parents? How do we handle the parents?” “We don't. We blend. I’ve procured a pirate hat and a rainbow-colored inflatable parrot. We’ll be ‘eccentric relatives.’ It’s the key. ’Oh, Timmy is such a darling, isn’t he? Just bursting with joy!’” “’Bursting with joy’ while stuffing a Lego pirate ship into a burlap sack. Sounds about right.” “Precision is paramount. We’re not ripping open presents, Molly. We're… curating them. Selecting the most… *deserving* items.” “Deserving? Based on what criteria? Shiny things?” “Generally. And things that make particularly loud noises. Remember the bouncy castle? A drum kit would be ideal.” “Bill, you’re starting to sound like a five-year-old. A very meticulous five-year-old.” “Just ensuring we’re maximizing the chaos, Molly. Maximizing the profit. And the glitter.” “Right. Glitter. Let’s just... aim for sixty-three. And no operatic ‘Happy Birthday’ without my express permission.”