Run: 2026-02-20-01KHY9TFPEDCS4JDJ82Q35X996

Run Details

Duration:
28.5s
Cost:
$0.001237
Provider:
Seed

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The bell above the door of The Raven’s Nest jingles, sharp as a bullet, and Rory Carter freezes. She’s standing in the back corner, scrubbing a chipped whiskey glass with a rag stiff from dish soap, and the sound cuts through the low hum of conversation like a knife through butter. Her first thought is *Evan*—not the name itself, but the way his voice used to twist that bell’s note into something predatory—but then she blinks, and the face that materializes in the doorway is too familiar, too *wrong*. Silas. It can’t be. Not him. Not after seven years. He’s older, of course. His auburn hair, once thick and sun-streaked, has silver threads that catch the neon green glow of the bar’s sign, and his beard, neatly trimmed as ever, frames a jawline that’s softened into something warmer, but the hazel eyes—those hazel eyes—are still sharp, like two wells of dark honey with a sharp stone at the bottom. He’s taller than she remembers, by an inch or two, and he walks with a slight limp, his left leg catching a fraction before the right, as if the knee injury from Prague still has a claim on him. A signet ring glints on his right hand, silver with a family crest Rory can’t quite place—she was never good with heraldry. “Rory,” he says, and his voice is lower, rougher, like sandpaper on wood, but the name falls off his tongue like a familiar song. “Bit of a shock, ain’t it?” She sets the glass down too hard. It clatters against the sink, and her rag falls to the floor. “Silas,” she says, but it comes out breathless, like she’s been running. Her hand flies to her left wrist, where the crescent scar rises pale against her skin—a reminder of the day she’d chased a stray tabby into the garden of her childhood home and crashed into a rusted garden rake. Silas had been there that day, too, kneeling beside her as her mother wrapped a towel around the wound, his own knee throbbing from a fall he’d taken years before. “How—how did you—” “Retirement’s not all sherry and shuffleboard, luv,” he says, pushing off the doorframe and stepping into the bar. His boots thud against the creaky wooden floor, and he pauses, scanning the room. When his gaze finds her, it lingers—assessing, the spymaster still in his bones. “I heard you were in London. Eva mentioned you’d moved back. Said you were… *busy*.” Eva. Rory’s chest tightens. She hasn’t spoken to her Irish friend in five years, not since she’d packed a suitcase and left Cardiff without a letter. Eva had called, once, after the first time Evan hit her—*“You can’t do this alone,”*—but Rory had hung up. Then she’d moved again, to London, because Evan had started following her, had spouted lies about her leaving him for a “bigger better man,” and she’d needed a place where he couldn’t find her. Eva had written, letters that stack in a box under her bed now, unopened, their edges frayed from where she’d traced the ink with her thumb until the paper tore. “Busy,” she repeats, and it sounds like a lie even to her. Delivering dim sum at 2 a.m., sleeping in a flat above a bar where the floors creak and the walls are thin, working so hard she forgets to eat—*busy* is what you call it when you don’t want to think about the woman you used to be, the one who’d worn leather jackets and stayed out late debating philosophy over chili dogs, who’d once told Silas, “The world’s not a puzzle to solve, it’s a song to sing.” Silas nods, like he knows. He slides into the empty stool at the end of the bar, and the bartender—some kid with a tattoo of a raven on his neck—leans over the counter, already pouring a glass of amber liquid. “Whiskey,” Silas says. “Neat.” “On the house,” the kid says, sliding it over. “Regulars.” “Regulars,” Silas echoes, sipping. His eyes never leave Rory. “You look… *good*.” It’s the last thing she expects. Not *different*, not *changed*, but *good*. As if the years have been kind to her, like she doesn’t carry the residue of more fights than she can count, like the fear in her chest doesn’t live there permanently, a shadow behind her ribs. “You look like you’ve been living,” she says, and it’s true. His face is lined, but in the way that comes from smiling, from feeling alive, not from surviving on adrenaline and regret. He grunts. “Surviving, more like. The bar keeps me busy. Contacts, meetings… the usual.” He taps the signet ring with his thumb. “Still a front, mind. Just a quieter one.” Rory’s throat feels tight. “I should… I should get back to work.” “Rory,” he says, and his tone is softer, and she stops, her hand on the door to the kitchen. “Give us five minutes. Just… catch up.” She hesitates. The kitchen is a warren of stainless steel and takeout containers, but Silas is right—Eva’s letter, the one she’s been avoiding, will still be there later. And besides, it’s not every day a ghost from your past walks back into your life. She pulls out a chair from the bar and sits, her knees bumping the wood. The neon sign flickers, casting green shadows over the walls—old maps, faded black-and-white photos of faces she doesn’t recognize. There’s a picture of a woman with auburn hair, younger than Silas, standing in front of a building in Prague, her arm slung around a man with a scar across his cheek. Rory looks closer, then looks away. Some things are better left in the past. “Evan’s dead,” Silas says, and Rory’s head snaps up. His voice is casual, like he’s talking about the weather, but his eyes are steady, unflinching. “Died in a motorcycle crash. Cardiff, about six months ago. His mother found his body.” She freezes. The scar on her wrist itches. She’d spent years waiting for the day she’d feel *nothing* when she heard his name, but now… now there’s a hollow space, like someone’s punched her in the gut. “Why are you telling me this?” “Because you deserve to know,” he says. “He was asking about you, you know. In the end. When it all fell apart. Said you owed him an apology.” “I don’t owe him anything,” she says, but her voice cracks. “He—he—” “He hit you,” Silas says, and it’s not a question. “I should have done more. Back then. When you came to me, crying, after he first pushed you. Told you you were being ‘dramatic,’ that you’d ‘find another reason to leave.’ Stupid. Obvious now.” Rory’s hand is shaking. She wraps it around her whiskey, the warmth seeping into her palm. “You didn’t know. No one knew.” “I should have,” he says, and the guilt in his voice is thick, palpable. “I saw him, you know. The night you left. Parked across the street from your flat. Wanted to go over, to tell him to stay away. But I was… scared. Scared he’d hurt you more. Scared *I’d* hurt him. Stupid.” “You were protecting me,” she says, and it’s not a defense. It’s the truth. Silas has always been a guardian, even when he didn’t know it. He’d taught her how to pick a lock when she was sixteen, how to spot a lie in three seconds flat, how to trust her instincts even when the world told her they were wrong. He’d been the one to buy her coffee when she’d pulled all-nighters in Cardiff University, the one to sit with her when she’d failed her first law exam, the one to say, “You’re better than this, Rory,” when she’d started talking about marrying Evan, about settling down, about becoming the woman her parents expected her to be. He looks away. “I never stopped being a fool, you know. Even now.” The silence stretches, heavy with the weight of years. Rory thinks of all the nights she’d stood at her bedroom window, looking out at the street, waiting for Silas to come home from his “military training” or his “consulting gigs.” She’d thought he was unapproachable, untouchable, the kind of man who worked in shadows and never let anyone in. But he’d let her in, once, and she’d thrown his kindness back in his face. “Why did you stay?” she asks, eventually. “Why did you keep the bar open? Why did you never leave?” He finishes his whiskey, sets the glass down with a clink. “Because the world’s still a dangerous place. And people need someone to watch their backs. Especially the ones who can’t watch their own.” He nods at her scar. “You learned that, didn’t you? Learned to run, to hide, to survive. But survival ain’t living, luv. You used to *burn*. Now… you’re just glowing.” She laughs, a dry, bitter sound. “Burning gets you hurt. Glowing keeps you alive.” “Not if you glow too bright,” he says, “you catch fire. But not if you glow steady. Like a candle. Not a torch.” He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a crumpled piece of paper. “Eva sent this. Last month. She said you’d moved to London, but she didn’t know where. Told me to ‘find her, will you, Silas?’” He slides the paper across the bar. It’s a restaurant receipt, scrawled on the back in Eva’s looping handwriting: *Rory works for Yu-Fei Cheung at the Golden Empress. Lives above Silas’ bar. Don’t be a stranger.* Rory’s fingers brush the paper, as if touching it will make it real. “I should call her. I really should.” “Then call her,” Silas says. “But not tonight. Tonight… let’s just… be us, for a while.” She looks at him, and for the first time in years, she doesn’t see the mentor, or the spymaster, or the man who used to tuck her into bed when she’d had a nightmare. She sees the boy who’d broken his arm climbing a tree in his backyard, who’d cried when his dog died, who’d once shared his last slice of birthday cake with her because she’d forgotten hers at home. “Us,” she says, and it’s a whisper, but it’s true. He smiles, and it’s a rare thing, a flash of the boy she knew, before the war stories and the secrets hardened his edges. “Us.” The bell jingles again, and a group of customers files in, laughing and clinking their glasses. Silas stands, adjusting the sleeve of his button-down shirt, the limp in his step more pronounced now. “I should go. Got a meeting in the back later. Clandestine. Military-grade coffee, I might add.” Rory stands, too, her chair scraping against the floor. “When will I see you again?” “Whenever you want,” he says. “The Nest’s always open. And Eva’s letter… well. Let her wait a little longer. She can afford it.” He pauses, then adds, quieter, “You can, too.” She nods, and they walk toward the door together, the neon sign casting their shadows long and thin on the wall. At the threshold, Silas turns, his hazel eyes soft. “You’re happy here, Rory. Even if you don’t know it yet.” “Maybe,” she says. He grins, a wolfish thing, and taps the signet ring. “Good. The world needs more happy Rories. Fewer angry ones.” With that, he slips out into the night, and Rory stands in the doorway, watching his silhouette fade into the crowd, until he’s just a memory, a ghost, a boy from a summer long ago. She turns back to the bar, the receipt still in her hand. The kid with the raven tattoo slides her a glass of water. “Soda?” “Water’s fine,” she says, and she sits, and for the first time in years, she doesn’t think about Evan, or the past, or the woman she’s supposed to be. She just thinks about the scar on her wrist, and the way Silas had said *us*, and she smiles. The world, she realizes, is still a song. And maybe, just maybe, she’s finally ready to sing it.
created_at"2026-02-20T19:53:25.979Z" 2/20/2026, 7:53:25 PM
model"bytedance-seed/seed-1.6-flash-20250625"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency666
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time28384
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion4203
native_tokens_prompt938
native_tokens_completion3890
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning1046
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.00123735
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"e01a1227-001b-44d4-a376-90850668fa84"
id"0217716172062378eedaf36e20f5141b2bc84e877dea1f762ee44"
is_byokfalse
latency565
model_permaslug"bytedance-seed/seed-1.6-flash-20250625"
provider_name"Seed"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771617205-GazPqrgD3IWhZpAzHlSj"
upstream_id"0217716172062378eedaf36e20f5141b2bc84e877dea1f762ee44"
total_cost0.00123735
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Seed"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags30
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"He pauses then [then]"
dialogueSentences59
tagDensity0.508
leniency1
rawRatio0.033
effectiveRatio0.033
97.54% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2036
totalAiIsmAdverbs1
found
0
adverb"really"
count1
highlights
0"really"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
68.07% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2036
totalAiIsms13
found
0
word"familiar"
count2
1
word"reminder"
count1
2
word"scanning"
count1
3
word"traced"
count1
4
word"echoes"
count1
5
word"the last thing"
count1
6
word"warmth"
count1
7
word"palpable"
count1
8
word"silence"
count1
9
word"weight"
count1
10
word"whisper"
count1
11
word"clandestine"
count1
highlights
0"familiar"
1"reminder"
2"scanning"
3"traced"
4"echoes"
5"the last thing"
6"warmth"
7"palpable"
8"silence"
9"weight"
10"whisper"
11"clandestine"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences104
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences104
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences132
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen78
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans14
markdownWords34
totalWords2019
ratio0.017
matches
0"Evan"
1"wrong"
2"busy"
3"“You can’t do this alone,”"
4"busy"
5"good"
6"different"
7"changed"
8"good"
9"nothing"
10"I’d"
11"burn"
12"Rory works for Yu-Fei Cheung at the Golden Empress. Lives above Silas’ bar. Don’t be a stranger."
13"us"
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions37
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions56
wordCount1541
uniqueNames18
maxNameDensity1.04
worstName"Silas"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Silas"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest1
Rory14
Carter1
Prague2
Irish1
Cardiff2
Evan5
London1
Delivering1
Silas16
Eva5
University1
Yu-Fei1
Cheung1
Golden1
Empress1
Don1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Rory"
2"Carter"
3"Evan"
4"Silas"
5"Eva"
6"Yu-Fei"
7"Cheung"
places
0"Prague"
1"Cardiff"
2"London"
3"Golden"
globalScore0.981
windowScore0.833
83.33% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences75
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"quite place—she was never good with heraldry"
1"as if touching it will make it real"
51.41% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.486
wordCount2019
matches
0"not the name itself, but the way his voice used to twist"
1"Not *different*, not *changed*, but *good*"
2"not *changed*, but *good*"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences132
matches
0"twist that bell’s"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs49
mean41.2
std31.79
cv0.771
sampleLengths
089
11
29
3121
430
5103
660
71
8108
990
1044
1110
1212
1382
1430
1512
1626
1744
1880
1940
2043
2128
2212
2344
2422
2554
26118
2713
2874
2919
3064
3114
3223
3372
3420
3516
3671
3710
3825
3949
4015
4131
4241
433
4420
4535
4625
4748
4818
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount1
totalSentences104
matches
0"softened"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount0
totalVerbs271
matches(empty)
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount14
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences10
totalSentences132
ratio0.076
matches
0"Her first thought is *Evan*—not the name itself, but the way his voice used to twist that bell’s note into something predatory—but then she blinks, and the face that materializes in the doorway is too familiar, too *wrong*."
1"His auburn hair, once thick and sun-streaked, has silver threads that catch the neon green glow of the bar’s sign, and his beard, neatly trimmed as ever, frames a jawline that’s softened into something warmer, but the hazel eyes—those hazel eyes—are still sharp, like two wells of dark honey with a sharp stone at the bottom."
2"A signet ring glints on his right hand, silver with a family crest Rory can’t quite place—she was never good with heraldry."
3"Her hand flies to her left wrist, where the crescent scar rises pale against her skin—a reminder of the day she’d chased a stray tabby into the garden of her childhood home and crashed into a rusted garden rake."
4"When his gaze finds her, it lingers—assessing, the spymaster still in his bones."
5"Eva had called, once, after the first time Evan hit her—*“You can’t do this alone,”*—but Rory had hung up."
6"Delivering dim sum at 2 a.m., sleeping in a flat above a bar where the floors creak and the walls are thin, working so hard she forgets to eat—*busy* is what you call it when you don’t want to think about the woman you used to be, the one who’d worn leather jackets and stayed out late debating philosophy over chili dogs, who’d once told Silas, “The world’s not a puzzle to solve, it’s a song to sing.”"
7"He slides into the empty stool at the end of the bar, and the bartender—some kid with a tattoo of a raven on his neck—leans over the counter, already pouring a glass of amber liquid."
8"The kitchen is a warren of stainless steel and takeout containers, but Silas is right—Eva’s letter, the one she’s been avoiding, will still be there later."
9"The neon sign flickers, casting green shadows over the walls—old maps, faded black-and-white photos of faces she doesn’t recognize."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1288
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount37
adverbRatio0.02872670807453416
lyAdverbCount5
lyAdverbRatio0.0038819875776397515
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences132
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences132
mean15.3
std13.22
cv0.864
sampleLengths
018
133
238
31
43
52
64
74
856
939
1022
1124
126
137
1412
1512
1639
1730
183
1918
2014
2113
2215
231
243
2522
2619
2734
2830
2912
3078
315
3235
333
341
359
361
374
385
393
406
416
4237
4311
4422
452
4620
478
484
498
54.55% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats8
diversityRatio0.36363636363636365
totalSentences132
uniqueOpeners48
36.63% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences91
matches
0"Then she’d moved again, to"
ratio0.011
0.22% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount50
totalSentences91
matches
0"She’s standing in the back"
1"Her first thought is *Evan*—not"
2"It can’t be."
3"He’s older, of course."
4"His auburn hair, once thick"
5"He’s taller than she remembers,"
6"he says, and his voice"
7"She sets the glass down"
8"It clatters against the sink,"
9"she says, but it comes"
10"Her hand flies to her"
11"he says, pushing off the"
12"His boots thud against the"
13"She hasn’t spoken to her"
14"she repeats, and it sounds"
15"He slides into the empty"
16"His eyes never leave Rory."
17"It’s the last thing she"
18"she says, and it’s true"
19"His face is lined, but"
ratio0.549
36.92% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount77
totalSentences91
matches
0"The bell above the door"
1"She’s standing in the back"
2"Her first thought is *Evan*—not"
3"It can’t be."
4"He’s older, of course."
5"His auburn hair, once thick"
6"He’s taller than she remembers,"
7"A signet ring glints on"
8"he says, and his voice"
9"She sets the glass down"
10"It clatters against the sink,"
11"she says, but it comes"
12"Her hand flies to her"
13"Silas had been there that"
14"he says, pushing off the"
15"His boots thud against the"
16"Rory’s chest tightens."
17"She hasn’t spoken to her"
18"Eva had called, once, after"
19"Eva had written, letters that"
ratio0.846
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences91
matches
0"As if the years have"
1"now there’s a hollow space,"
ratio0.022
47.62% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences45
technicalSentenceCount6
matches
0"Her first thought is *Evan*—not the name itself, but the way his voice used to twist that bell’s note into something predatory—but then she blinks, and the face…"
1"His auburn hair, once thick and sun-streaked, has silver threads that catch the neon green glow of the bar’s sign, and his beard, neatly trimmed as ever, frames…"
2"He’s taller than she remembers, by an inch or two, and he walks with a slight limp, his left leg catching a fraction before the right, as if the knee injury fro…"
3"As if the years have been kind to her, like she doesn’t carry the residue of more fights than she can count, like the fear in her chest doesn’t live there perma…"
4"His face is lined, but in the way that comes from smiling, from feeling alive, not from surviving on adrenaline and regret."
5"She sees the boy who’d broken his arm climbing a tree in his backyard, who’d cried when his dog died, who’d once shared his last slice of birthday cake with her…"
75.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags30
uselessAdditionCount3
matches
0"he says, and his voice is lower, rougher, like sandpaper on wood, but the name falls off his tongue like a familiar song"
1"he says, and his tone is softer, and she stops, her hand on the door to the kitchen"
2"she asks, eventually"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags21
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"she repeats (repeat)"
dialogueSentences59
tagDensity0.356
leniency0.712
rawRatio0.048
effectiveRatio0.034
81.1545%