Run: 2026-02-20-01KHYAENGEVYDNTSAGW3HBKTG9

Run Details

Duration:
33.9s
Cost:
$0.001736
Provider:
xAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The dim glow of the green neon sign flickered outside The Raven's Nest, casting erratic shadows on the rain-slicked pavement of Soho. Inside, the air hung heavy with the scent of aged whiskey and polished oak, the walls a patchwork of faded maps and sepia-toned photographs that whispered of forgotten expeditions. Aurora Carter—Rory to those who knew her before the fractures—wiped down the scarred bar top with a rag that had seen better days. It was a slow Tuesday evening, the kind where the clock above the shelves ticked louder than the handful of patrons nursing their drinks in the corners. Silas had limped off to the back an hour ago, muttering about inventory, leaving Rory to mind the fort. Her shift at Golden Empress had ended early, deliveries light in the drizzle, so she'd come down from her flat upstairs to help out. The familiarity of it grounded her: the clink of glasses, the low hum of a jazz record spinning on the old turntable. She glanced at the small crescent scar on her left wrist, a silvery reminder of a playground tumble at eight, back when life was scraped knees and endless summers in Cardiff. That girl felt like a ghost now, evaporated in the steam of bad decisions and hurried escapes. Rory poured herself a splash of soda water—no ice, just the fizz to keep her hands busy—and let her bright blue eyes drift to the door. It swung open with a gust of damp night air, and in walked a woman who made Rory's breath catch, sharp as a hook. Eva. It couldn't be. But it was: the same cascade of curly auburn hair, though longer now, framing a face sharpened by years. Eva's green eyes scanned the room, landing on Rory with a jolt that mirrored her own. She wore a tailored coat, the kind that screamed city professional, heels clicking against the worn floorboards as she approached the bar. Rory's heart thudded, a drumbeat of disbelief and something heavier, like regret uncoiling in her chest. "Rory?" Eva's voice was the same lilt, Welsh vowels softened by time, but there was an edge to it now, polished and precise. She slid onto a stool, peeling off her gloves with deliberate fingers. "Bloody hell, it is you." Rory forced a smile, her straight shoulder-length black hair falling forward as she leaned on the bar. Up close, the changes hit harder. Eva's once-freckled cheeks were smooth, makeup flawless, and her posture straight-backed, like she'd traded laughter for boardrooms. No more the scrappy girl who'd shared secrets under Cardiff's dripping oaks. "Eva. God, it's been... what, three years? Four?" Rory's words tumbled out, casual on the surface, but her mind raced. The last time they'd spoken was a frantic phone call, Rory's voice breaking as she explained fleeing Evan, the bruises hidden under long sleeves. Eva had urged her to London, promised to visit. But visits never came. "Four," Eva confirmed, her gaze flicking over Rory's faded jeans and the simple black tee stained faintly from kitchen spills. "You look... good. Settled." There was a pause, the kind that stretched thin, and Rory wondered if Eva saw the wear in her eyes, the way five-foot-six of determination had bent under the weight of part-time gigs and solitary nights. Rory busied herself pouring a gin and tonic—Eva's old drink, from uni days when they'd split cabs after lectures, dreaming of lives bigger than Pre-Law drudgery. "Settled's one word for it. What brings you to Soho? Business?" She slid the glass over, the ice clinking like a tentative truce. Eva's fingers wrapped around it, but she didn't drink. Instead, she traced the rim, her nails manicured in a deep crimson that Rory envied for a split second. "Conference. Legal symposium at the LSE. Thought I'd pop into a bar afterward—needed to unwind. Never expected this." Her laugh was light, but it didn't reach her eyes. Those eyes, once wide with mischief, now held a guarded gleam. Rory remembered the Eva who'd ditched class to hike the Brecon Beacons, boots muddy and spirits high. This Eva looked like she hiked conference corridors now. The bar's door creaked again, but it was just a regular, an older bloke in a wool cap who nodded at Rory and claimed his usual corner stool. She topped off his pint without a word, the routine a shield. Turning back, she met Eva's stare. "London suits you? Or are you still in Cardiff?" "Still there. Partner at the firm now—Brendan's old colleague hooked me up." Eva sipped finally, the gin cutting through the air between them. Brendan—Rory's father, the barrister whose disapproval had shadowed her every choice. "Dad mentioned you dropped out. Said you were 'finding yourself' in the big smoke." Rory's scar itched under her sleeve, a phantom twinge. Finding herself. What a tidy phrase for the unraveling: Evan's fists, the nights locked in her flat, the final dash to the train station with nothing but a rucksack and Eva's voice on the line saying, Come here, Rory. We'll sort it. "Yeah, well, Pre-Law wasn't for me. Delivering dim sum pays the bills." She shrugged, aiming for nonchalance, but the words landed flat. The flat above Silas's bar was cheap, tucked away, but it echoed with solitude. Silas himself was a mystery—a grey-streaked auburn-haired man with hazel eyes and a slight limp, his silver signet ring glinting as he poured measures with quiet authority. He'd given her the room no questions asked, his backstory as hidden as the secret room behind the bookshelf. But even his mentorship, sparse as it was, couldn't fill the voids. Eva tilted her head, studying Rory like a brief she needed to dissect. "Dim sum? Rory Carter, queen of out-of-the-box thinking, slinging takeout?" There was no malice, but the tease carried an undercurrent, a reminder of the girl who'd aced debates and sketched wild escape plans from their sleepy town. Eva set her glass down, the condensation pooling like unshed tears. "I thought you'd be... I don't know, conquering the world by now. Or at least law school in London." The jazz record scratched to a halt, leaving a hush that amplified the rain pattering against the windows. Rory felt the tension coil in her gut, the unspoken regrets bubbling up. Why hadn't she reached out more? Why had Eva faded into silence after that call? "Life's not a straight line, Ev. Evan... it messed me up. More than I let on." The name hung there, bitter as oversteeped tea. She hadn't said it aloud in months, but here in the Nest's amber light, it slipped free. Eva's expression softened, just a fraction, but her fingers tightened on the glass. "I know. You told me. I should've come sooner." She glanced away, toward the photographs on the wall—grainy images of spies or sailors, Rory could never tell. Silas collected them, relics from his own shadowed past. "Work swallowed me. The firm's relentless. Weddings, promotions—everyone's moving on, you know? I got engaged last year. To Marcus. Solicitor, stable as they come." Engaged. The word landed like a stone in still water, rippling through Rory. She pictured Eva in white, vows exchanged in some sunlit Cardiff chapel, while she'd been dodging puddles on a delivery bike. "That's brilliant, Ev. He sounds... perfect." But the praise tasted hollow. Perfect for the Eva who'd always played it safe, who'd urged Rory to stay in Pre-Law while she herself climbed the ladder. Rory remembered their last real fight, years back, over coffee in a cramped uni café: Eva calling her reckless for dating Evan, Rory snapping that safe was just another cage. Eva drained her gin, the ice shifting with a clink. "He's good. Boring, maybe, but good." She met Rory's eyes again, and there it was—the flicker of the old fire, the girl who'd once dared Rory to sneak into a forbidden quarry at midnight. "But I miss this. Us. The chaos. You were always the spark, Rory. What happened to her?" Rory's throat tightened. The spark? Buried under shifts and scars, under the fear that one wrong move would shatter her fragile rebuild. She thought of Silas, limping in from his hidden back room earlier, his neatly trimmed beard framing a knowing smile as he handed her a key for the upstairs lock. "World's full of locks," he'd said, his voice gravelly with unspoken histories. "Pick the right ones." Was this a lock? Eva, here, peeling back the years like old wallpaper. Before Rory could answer, the door to the back swung open, and Silas emerged, his six-foot-one frame filling the space. His grey-streaked auburn hair caught the low light, and he favored his left leg with that familiar hitch as he approached. "Evening, ladies. Didn't know we had a reunion tonight." His hazel eyes assessed them, sharp as a blade, the silver signet ring tapping the bar as he rested a hand there. He knew Rory's story in fragments—enough to offer a nod when nightmares kept her pacing the flat—but Eva was new territory. Eva straightened, her professional mask slipping back. "Just old friends catching up. Silas, is it? Rory's mentioned the place." "Has she now?" Silas poured himself a finger of scotch, no ice, his movements economical. He glanced at Rory, a subtle arch of brow that said, Your call. She nodded faintly, grateful for the interruption, the way he anchored the room without trying. The conversation veered then, safer waters. Eva asked about the bar's history—the maps, the photos—and Silas obliged with vague tales of "adventurers he'd known," his spy days veiled in half-truths. Rory listened, chiming in with bits about Soho's underbelly, the Golden Empress's spicy secrets. But beneath it, the tension simmered. Eva's laughter came easier with Silas's dry wit, but her eyes kept returning to Rory, searching for the girl who'd once vowed they'd conquer London together. As the hour crept past closing, the other patrons trickled out, leaving the three of them in the bar's hush. Silas excused himself with a polite limp toward the kitchen, leaving fresh mugs of tea—strong, Welsh-style, a nod to their roots. Eva sipped hers, steam curling up like ghosts of what-ifs. "I should've called," Eva said suddenly, voice low. "After you got here. I told myself you needed space, but really... I was scared. Scared you'd blame me for pushing you away from home. Or that I'd drag you down with my own mess." Her words cracked open the regrets, raw and real. Marcus was safe, but safe meant no more midnight drives, no more Rory's wild ideas pulling her into the fray. Rory reached across the bar, hesitating before touching Eva's hand. The warmth was startling, a bridge over the years. "I blamed everyone at first. Dad, Mum, Evan. Myself most." Her blue eyes held steady, the scar on her wrist a quiet testament. "But you got me out. That's not nothing." Eva's grip tightened, then released. "And now? Still delivering, living above a bar run by a mystery man?" There was no judgment, just the ache of divergence—the paths they'd taken, the ones left untrod. Silas reappeared then, flipping chairs onto tables with efficient grunts. "Time to lock up, unless you're planning an all-nighter." His tone was light, but his eyes lingered on them, mentor's intuition sensing the fragile mending. Eva stood, coat draped over her arm. "I should go. Marcus is waiting—early meeting tomorrow." She hugged Rory awkwardly over the bar, the embrace brief but fierce. "Don't vanish again. Promise?" Rory nodded, the weight of time settling like dust on the bar top. "Promise." As Eva slipped out into the rain, the green neon buzzed farewell, and Rory turned to Silas, who was watching with quiet authority. "Old ghosts?" he asked, pouring her a nightcap without asking. "Something like that." She took it, the burn chasing the regret. The girl with the spark wasn't gone—just dimmed, waiting for the right flicker to reignite. In the Nest's shadows, with maps of untraveled worlds on the walls, Rory felt the pull of possibility, tentative but real. Time had carved its marks, but perhaps, just perhaps, not all bridges were burned.
created_at"2026-02-20T20:04:27.289Z" 2/20/2026, 8:04:27 PM
model"x-ai/grok-4-fast"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency5305
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time33772
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion3051
native_tokens_prompt937
native_tokens_completion3142
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning498
native_tokens_cached151
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.00173575
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"c9586d9d-97ff-40ca-ae94-22504d6f9b7e"
id"b4524b1a-3551-b693-e0a7-a5b238674981"
is_byokfalse
latency75
model_permaslug"x-ai/grok-4-fast"
provider_name"xAI"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771617867-TQdYbNYLzXoLUo7Lk4Bp"
upstream_id"b4524b1a-3551-b693-e0a7-a5b238674981"
total_cost0.00173575
cache_discount0.00002265
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"xAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
84.62% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags26
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"Eva sipped finally [finally]"
1"She glanced away [away]"
2"Eva said suddenly [suddenly]"
dialogueSentences36
tagDensity0.722
leniency1
rawRatio0.115
effectiveRatio0.115
95.16% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2068
totalAiIsmAdverbs2
found
0
adverb"suddenly"
count1
1
adverb"really"
count1
highlights
0"suddenly"
1"really"
80.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found
0"Marcus"
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
34.72% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2068
totalAiIsms27
found
0
word"flickered"
count1
1
word"reminder"
count2
2
word"scanned"
count1
3
word"lilt"
count1
4
word"flawless"
count1
5
word"raced"
count1
6
word"weight"
count2
7
word"solitary"
count1
8
word"traced"
count1
9
word"unraveling"
count1
10
word"echoed"
count1
11
word"glinting"
count1
12
word"tension"
count2
13
word"unspoken"
count2
14
word"silence"
count1
15
word"perfect"
count2
16
word"flicker"
count2
17
word"familiar"
count1
18
word"warmth"
count1
19
word"testament"
count1
20
word"efficient"
count1
highlights
0"flickered"
1"reminder"
2"scanned"
3"lilt"
4"flawless"
5"raced"
6"weight"
7"solitary"
8"traced"
9"unraveling"
10"echoed"
11"glinting"
12"tension"
13"unspoken"
14"silence"
15"perfect"
16"flicker"
17"familiar"
18"warmth"
19"testament"
20"efficient"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences113
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount0
narrationSentences113
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches(empty)
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences122
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen44
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2031
ratio0
matches(empty)
97.22% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions18
unquotedAttributions2
matches
0"Rory remembered their last real fight, years back, over coffee in a cramped uni café: Eva calling her reckless for datin…"
1"He glanced at Rory, a subtle arch of brow that said, Your call."
33.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions116
wordCount1698
uniqueNames23
maxNameDensity2.3
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity4
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest3
Soho2
Carter1
Rory39
Tuesday1
Golden2
Empress2
Cardiff3
Welsh2
Evan3
London2
Eva33
Pre-Law2
Brecon1
Beacons1
Brendan1
Come1
Silas12
Perfect1
Was1
Welsh-style1
Marcus1
persons
0"Nest"
1"Carter"
2"Rory"
3"Empress"
4"Evan"
5"Eva"
6"Brendan"
7"Come"
8"Silas"
9"Was"
10"Marcus"
places
0"Raven"
1"Soho"
2"Golden"
3"Cardiff"
4"London"
5"Perfect"
globalScore0.352
windowScore0.333
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences101
glossingSentenceCount2
matches
0"felt like a ghost now, evaporated in th"
1"looked like she hiked conference corridor"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount2031
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences122
matches
0"snapping that safe"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs30
mean67.7
std33.92
cv0.501
sampleLengths
0166
198
277
340
4109
560
649
793
855
948
10145
1180
1287
1373
1497
1561
1681
1793
1819
1943
2076
2151
2272
2350
2434
2535
2631
2737
2810
2961
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount1
totalSentences113
matches
0"was scraped"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs291
matches
0"was startling"
1"was watching"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount16
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences12
totalSentences122
ratio0.098
matches
0"Aurora Carter—Rory to those who knew her before the fractures—wiped down the scarred bar top with a rag that had seen better days."
1"Rory poured herself a splash of soda water—no ice, just the fizz to keep her hands busy—and let her bright blue eyes drift to the door."
2"Rory busied herself pouring a gin and tonic—Eva's old drink, from uni days when they'd split cabs after lectures, dreaming of lives bigger than Pre-Law drudgery."
3"Brendan—Rory's father, the barrister whose disapproval had shadowed her every choice."
4"Silas himself was a mystery—a grey-streaked auburn-haired man with hazel eyes and a slight limp, his silver signet ring glinting as he poured measures with quiet authority."
5"\"I know. You told me. I should've come sooner.\" She glanced away, toward the photographs on the wall—grainy images of spies or sailors, Rory could never tell."
6"\"He's good. Boring, maybe, but good.\" She met Rory's eyes again, and there it was—the flicker of the old fire, the girl who'd once dared Rory to sneak into a forbidden quarry at midnight."
7"He knew Rory's story in fragments—enough to offer a nod when nightmares kept her pacing the flat—but Eva was new territory."
8"Eva asked about the bar's history—the maps, the photos—and Silas obliged with vague tales of \"adventurers he'd known,\" his spy days veiled in half-truths."
9"Silas excused himself with a polite limp toward the kitchen, leaving fresh mugs of tea—strong, Welsh-style, a nod to their roots."
10"\"And now? Still delivering, living above a bar run by a mystery man?\" There was no judgment, just the ache of divergence—the paths they'd taken, the ones left untrod."
11"The girl with the spark wasn't gone—just dimmed, waiting for the right flicker to reignite."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1732
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount47
adverbRatio0.027136258660508082
lyAdverbCount10
lyAdverbRatio0.005773672055427252
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences122
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences122
mean16.65
std8.84
cv0.531
sampleLengths
022
129
223
327
419
524
622
731
817
926
1024
111
123
1319
1416
1522
1616
1723
1812
195
2017
216
2217
2312
2420
2524
269
274
2820
2940
3026
3123
329
3319
3428
3511
3617
379
3828
3912
406
419
4223
4311
4414
459
462
4737
483
4922
74.86% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats2
diversityRatio0.45901639344262296
totalSentences122
uniqueOpeners56
30.58% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount1
totalSentences109
matches
0"Instead, she traced the rim,"
ratio0.009
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount30
totalSentences109
matches
0"It was a slow Tuesday"
1"Her shift at Golden Empress"
2"She glanced at the small"
3"It swung open with a"
4"It couldn't be."
5"She wore a tailored coat,"
6"She slid onto a stool,"
7"She slid the glass over,"
8"Her laugh was light, but"
9"She topped off his pint"
10"We'll sort it."
11"She shrugged, aiming for nonchalance,"
12"He'd given her the room"
13"She hadn't said it aloud"
14"She glanced away, toward the"
15"She pictured Eva in white,"
16"She met Rory's eyes again,"
17"She thought of Silas, limping"
18"he'd said, his voice gravelly"
19"His grey-streaked auburn hair caught"
ratio0.275
65.50% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount86
totalSentences109
matches
0"The dim glow of the"
1"Aurora Carter—Rory to those who"
2"It was a slow Tuesday"
3"Silas had limped off to"
4"Her shift at Golden Empress"
5"The familiarity of it grounded"
6"She glanced at the small"
7"That girl felt like a"
8"Rory poured herself a splash"
9"It swung open with a"
10"It couldn't be."
11"Eva's green eyes scanned the"
12"She wore a tailored coat,"
13"Rory's heart thudded, a drumbeat"
14"Eva's voice was the same"
15"She slid onto a stool,"
16"Rory forced a smile, her"
17"Eva's once-freckled cheeks were smooth,"
18"Rory's words tumbled out, casual"
19"The last time they'd spoken"
ratio0.789
45.87% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences109
matches
0"Before Rory could answer, the"
ratio0.009
62.21% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences62
technicalSentenceCount7
matches
0"Inside, the air hung heavy with the scent of aged whiskey and polished oak, the walls a patchwork of faded maps and sepia-toned photographs that whispered of fo…"
1"She wore a tailored coat, the kind that screamed city professional, heels clicking against the worn floorboards as she approached the bar."
2"No more the scrappy girl who'd shared secrets under Cardiff's dripping oaks."
3"The last time they'd spoken was a frantic phone call, Rory's voice breaking as she explained fleeing Evan, the bruises hidden under long sleeves."
4"The jazz record scratched to a halt, leaving a hush that amplified the rain pattering against the windows."
5"He glanced at Rory, a subtle arch of brow that said, Your call."
6"Eva's laughter came easier with Silas's dry wit, but her eyes kept returning to Rory, searching for the girl who'd once vowed they'd conquer London together."
0.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags26
uselessAdditionCount7
matches
0"She slid, the ice clinking like a tentative truce"
1"Eva sipped finally, the gin cutting through the air between them"
2"he'd, his voice gravelly with unspoken histories"
3"Eva said suddenly, voice low"
4"the paths they'd, the ones left untrod"
5"his eyes lingered, mentor's intuition sensing the fragile mending"
6"She took, the burn chasing the regret"
94.44% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags5
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Eva confirmed (confirm)"
1"he'd (would)"
dialogueSentences36
tagDensity0.139
leniency0.278
rawRatio0.4
effectiveRatio0.111
79.9511%