Run: 2026-02-25-01KJ94WVGV1P1KWRW80QWG18CG

Run Details

Duration:
1m 49s
Cost:
$0.005726
Provider:
Google AI Studio

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The heavy oak door to the street creaked open, letting in a sharp wedge of November air and a woman who paused, blinking in the dim light. Rory’s gaze drifted, then snagged. Her breath hitched. The woman’s hair was a dramatic, impossibly glossy blonde, styled into a sleek bob that framed a face sculpted by what looked like expensive procedures. Her dress was a slash of crimson fabric that clung to a frame honed to an almost aggressive perfection. She was the antithesis of the drab, muted tones Rory usually saw – the charcoal of delivery uniforms, the faded denim of her own work jeans. She was *bold*, a vibrant accusation against the muted tapestry of The Raven’s Nest. And unfamiliar, yet… As the woman’s eyes scanned the room, moving past the occupied tables and the solitary figures hunched over their drinks, something shifted. A tilt of the head, a subtle, almost imperceptible softening around the mouth – a ghost of a memory flickered, like a faulty gas lamp sputtering to life and then dying again. Rory felt a sudden, cold dread crawl up her spine, tightening her chest. It couldn’t be. Not here. Not now. The life she’d so carefully constructed, brick by painstaking brick, felt suddenly vulnerable, a house of cards before a gust of wind. The woman’s gaze landed on Rory. Her sculpted eyebrows – impossibly high, like delicate arches over eyes that were, disconcertingly, the same bright blue as Rory’s own – shot up. A beat of stunned silence hung between them, a clear, sharp bubble in the bar’s low, persistent thrum. Then, a dazzling, practiced smile bloomed, wide and bright, like a stage curtain rising. “Rory? Is that… Rory Carter?” The voice was lighter, higher than Rory remembered, laced with an accent that was still unmistakably Welsh, but polished, smoothed out like river stones by years of polishing. It carried the crispness of wealth, the assurance of someone who commanded attention. Rory pushed her pint away, the movement clumsy, her knuckles brushing the worn, scarred wood of the bar. She tried to summon a neutral expression, a mask of polite indifference, but her face felt stiff, incapable of the easy performance Maya seemed to embody. “Maya? Maya Davies?” No, that wasn't quite right. Maya Davies had been a girl who wore hand-me-downs with fierce pride and dreamt of escaping her small-town life. This woman was a monarch in disguise. Maya glided towards her, her heels clicking softly, insistently, on the floorboards. The crimson dress swished like a whispered promise of secrets, not the quiet, watchful secrets Silas kept behind his bar. She stopped inches from Rory’s stool, her bright blue eyes scanning Rory from head to toe. Her appraisal was swift, efficient, and, to Rory, chillingly impersonal, like a buyer inspecting livestock. She didn't offer a hug, didn't lay a hand on Rory's arm in greeting. She simply cataloged. “God, *Rory*,” Maya breathed, her voice laced with a disbelief that felt more like a subtle, damning judgment. “It *is* you. I swear, I almost didn’t recognize you. You look… different.” This was the cue. The opening gambit in a game Rory hadn’t asked to play. The polite deflection. “So do you, Maya. You look… incredible.” Rory gestured vaguely at the expensive fabric, the perfect hair, the air of effortless confidence. “London suits you.” It was a weak jab, a polite lie. London had tried to swallow Rory whole, had nearly succeeded, but she hadn’t been dressed for it like this. Maya laughed, a bright, brittle sound, like ice cracking. “Oh, London. It swallows you whole if you let it,” she conceded, her smile not reaching her eyes. “But I didn’t let it. Not me.” She leaned in conspiratorially, her perfume – something sharp and floral, like an expensive, potent insecticide designed to keep all unpleasantness at bay, no doubt – washing over Rory. “I’m in finance now. Property development, mostly. Just closed on a rather large deal in Canary Wharf. Worth eight figures. Makes leaving Cardiff feel like a distant, hazy dream, doesn’t it?” She paused, her eyes flicking over Rory’s simple, dark clothing. “And you? Are you still… studying? Taking the bar exam, perhaps?” The question dripped with a carefully veiled pity, a gentle prod at the wound Rory thought she’d long since buried. The air in the dim bar seemed to thicken, to press in on Rory. Studying? The bar exam? Rory, the Pre-Law drop-out, the ex-delivery driver, the woman who’d spent the last two years piecing herself back together from the shards left by Evan’s cruelty. She’d left Cardiff with nothing but the clothes on her back and a desperate, gnawing need to disappear. Evan’s shadow had clung to her like cheap cologne, a suffocating reminder of her helplessness. Here was Maya, living, breathing proof that some people didn't need to disappear; they just needed to *climb*. And climb she had, with a ferocity Rory recognized but could no longer emulate. “Not studying, no,” Rory said, forcing her voice to remain even, steady. She gestured around the bar, a gesture that felt both defensive and dismissive to herself. “I work for Silas here. Deliveries, when he needs them, mostly. Live upstairs.” She deliberately avoided mentioning the Golden Empress, keeping the details vague, sanitized. Maya wouldn't grasp the nuance, the hustle of Yu-Fei Cheung’s discreet empire. To Maya, it would sound… small. Maya’s perfectly sculpted eyebrows furrowed, a flicker of disdain crossing her features. "You live *above* the bar? And deliver for… who, exactly?" Her gaze swept around the familiar, slightly scruffy interior – the faded maps pinned to the walls, the framed black-and-white photographs of stern faces Rory didn't know, faces that belonged to Silas’s past. This was Silas’s world, a world of shadows and secrets, not the gleaming, sterile towers Maya inhabited. “It’s… it’s a living,” Rory said, her mind already racing, calculating the distance to the door, the steps she’d need to take to escape the sudden, suffocating pressure of Maya’s presence. She touched her left wrist, a subconscious, involuntary gesture. The scar, a faint white crescent, was hidden beneath the cuff of her dark sleeve. Evan had done that, in a fit of pique, a casual, domestic cruelty that had marked her skin and her soul with equal carelessness. And now Maya, with her polished perfection and her apparent disdain for dim bars and deliveries, was stirring that old vulnerability, resurfacing like flotsam from a wreck. “A living,” Maya echoed, the two words tasting like ash in Rory’s ears. She straightened up, her crimson dress a vibrant, defiant challenge. “That’s… not quite what I expected. I always thought you’d be the one to make something… significant. Barren Court, remember that seminar? You were so sharp. So… intense. I remember thinking then, with that fire in your belly, *she’ll* be defending clients before we've even finished our articles.” Rory remembered it too, with a pang. She remembered the fire in her gut, the fierce, unyielding conviction. She’d wanted to be a shield, a voice for the voiceless. The premonition of her own future, a future of justice and advocacy, had felt so clear, so bright, before Evan had begun his slow, insidious work of dimming her light, of making her doubt her own intelligence, her own strength, until she felt like a shadow herself, barely solid enough to cast a reflection. Fleeing to London, to the anonymity of the vast, indifferent city, had been an act of survival, a desperate bid for reclamation. This life, though hard and often exhausting, was *hers*. Built from the ground up, with her own hands. “Well,” Rory said, leaning back slightly, her spine straightening as she tried to regain her composure, her inherent cool-headedness. “Paths diverge. Yours certainly took a rather more… gilded route.” “It had to,” Maya said, her gaze hardening slightly, laced with a defensive edge. “Cardiff was a gilded cage for someone like me. All those expectations, all those stifling rules. My family… they wanted stability above all else. My father insisted on law, like yours. Your father, wasn’t he a barrister too? Brendan, was it? I heard he was quite formidable.” Rory flinched inwardly, a subtle tightening of her jaw. Her father, Brendan Carter, the Irish barrister. He’d been proud of her, she knew, proud of her intelligence and drive, but he’d also been distant, a man of law unable to comprehend the messy, irrational darkness that had consumed her university years. She hadn't told him everything about Evan. How could she? Not the whole, soul-shattering truth, not the fear that had choked her for so long. “He was,” Rory confirmed, her voice tight, controlled. “But I didn’t… I wasn’t suited for that path. Not the life it demanded.” Maya waved a dismissive hand, diamonds flashing on her tapered fingers as if to prove her point. “Law, finance, it’s all the same game, darling,” she said, leaning closer, her voice a confiding murmur. “Power. Control. You just have to know which rules to bend, and which doors to kick down. I learned that very quickly. Life doesn’t wait for you to be ready, Rory. You grasp what you can, and I’ve been grasping. And holding. And building.” She paused, her eyes narrowing slightly as she looked at Rory again, a more searching, almost pitying expression overlaying her practiced confidence. "You look tired, Rory. Like you're carrying something heavy." Rory felt an immediate, overwhelming urge to shatter the façade, to confess everything – the shame of her past, the struggle of her present, the fear that still lurked in the quiet hours. But the words caught in her throat, tangled with a hundred unspoken fears. The ghost of Evan’s voice, whispering doubts, seemed to echo in the sudden silence between them. Maya’s successful, polished façade felt like a glaring accusation, a testament to a resilience Rory herself had fought for, but in a different, less glamorous way. Silas emerged from the shadows to Rory’s left, wiping down the counter near their corner with a slow, deliberate motion. He’d been there all along, a silent sentinel behind his bar, quiet, unobtrusive, yet somehow always present. Hazel eyes, usually sharp and assessing, held a depth of weariness that seemed to mirror the faint, new lines etched around them. His silver signet ring gleamed under the low lights, a constant, small beacon. He’d listened. He always listened, his quiet attentiveness a soothing balm. He glanced from Maya’s vibrant crimson dress to Rory’s muted practicality, his expression unreadable, a mask honed by years of observation. He didn’t interrupt, but his presence was a silent counterpoint to Maya’s pronouncements, an anchor to Rory’s present reality. He was solid, grounded, less given to grand gestures and more to enduring, a subtle strength that Maya’s dazzling presence couldn’t penetrate. “It’s a different kind of weight,” Rory finally said, her own voice gaining a quiet, almost surprising strength as she met Maya’s gaze. She willed her own bright blue eyes to hold steady, to reflect not fear, but a newfound resolve. “Some weights, you learn to carry. Others… others, you learn to leave behind.” Maya stared, a flicker of something unreadable – surprise? grudging respect? – crossing her carefully constructed features. “Leave behind?” she mused, tilting her head as if considering a complex financial instrument. “I wonder if that’s even possible, truly. Or if it just sinks into us, changes us from the inside out.” She checked an exquisite, impossibly thin watch on her wrist. “I should go. I’m meeting some clients. But this was… fascinating, Rory. Truly. We must do this again. Perhaps somewhere with… better lighting. And fewer interesting characters asking about our pasts.” She gave Rory a final, lingering look, a complex mix of pity, a touch of envy, and the cool dismissal of someone moving on to more important matters. Then, she turned, her crimson dress a vibrant, almost predatory farewell, and disappeared back into the London night, leaving the heavy oak door to swing shut with a soft thud. Rory watched the door close, the echo of the click fading into the bar’s ambient noise. The space Maya had occupied felt suddeny hollowed out, vacuumed clean. She looked down at her own hands, noticing the faint tracing of dried grease from her last delivery run, the skin rougher, more calloused than it had been a year ago. She was not the girl who had sat in law seminars, nor was she the broken thing that had fled Cardiff with its tail between its legs. She was something else now, something forged in the crucible of her own making, tested by fire and emerging… different. She turned to Silas, who was now leaning against the bar, watching her with that steady, unflinching gaze. His expression softened almost imperceptibly as he met her eyes. “She was from Cardiff, wasn’t she?” Silas’s voice was low, a quiet rumble that cut through the bar’s persistent noise, carrying a knowing warmth. Rory nodded, picking up her pint, which had gone quite flat and lukewarm. The taste was bitter. But she drank it anyway, a small act of defiance. “Yes,” she admitted again, her voice barely a whisper. “A lifetime ago.” Silas gave a slow nod, his hazel eyes holding hers. There was an understanding there, a shared recognition of the burdens people carried, the arduous journeys they undertook, often alone. He had his own stories, he’d once hinted, of leaving places behind that held ghosts, of carrying weights that were unseen, etched into bone and soul. “Some paths,” he said, his voice barely a murmur, his gaze drifting over the worn surfaces of his bar, “are harder to walk than others.” Rory looked down at her left wrist, tracing the faint crescent scar with her thumb. “Yes,” she agreed, the word a quiet admission of a truth she now fully understood. “But sometimes, the ones you choose to walk… they make you stronger, Silas.” Silas finished wiping the bar, his movements economical, practiced, a master of his domain. He surveyed the room, the maps on the walls, the photographs of forgotten faces, his quiet kingdom of shadows. He met Rory’s gaze again, a subtle acknowledgment of her resilience, and perhaps, deeper still, a recognition of the unspoken regret that hung heavy in the air, a miasma of what-ifs and could-have-beens – the regret for the pasts left behind, the lives unlived, and the quiet, persistent hope for futures yet to be built, one delivery, one interaction, one hard-won moment at a time. The weight of time was undeniable, etched into the lines of Silas’s face, hidden beneath the polished veneer of Maya’s too-bright smile, and carried, not as a burden, but as a quiet, enduring strength, by Rory herself.
created_at"2026-02-25T00:58:59.507Z" 2/25/2026, 12:58:59 AM
model"google/gemini-2.5-flash-lite"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1523
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time109023
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion32175
native_tokens_prompt842
native_tokens_completion14104
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning10782
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"STOP"
usage0.0057258
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"ce839073-aa24-4f29-8358-15b319bd05ec"
is_byokfalse
latency1520
model_permaslug"google/gemini-2.5-flash-lite"
provider_name"Google AI Studio"
status200
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1771981139-QKVkf53P5YRgQMCFUYHu"
upstream_id(null)
total_cost0.0057258
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Google AI Studio"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags25
adverbTagCount5
adverbTags
0"Rory gestured vaguely [vaguely]"
1"She deliberately avoided mentioning the Golden Empress [deliberately]"
2"Her gaze swept around [around]"
3"Rory finally said [finally]"
4"she admitted again [again]"
dialogueSentences36
tagDensity0.694
leniency1
rawRatio0.2
effectiveRatio0.2
69.38% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2449
totalAiIsmAdverbs15
found
0
adverb"carefully"
count3
1
adverb"suddenly"
count1
2
adverb"softly"
count1
3
adverb"deliberately"
count1
4
adverb"perfectly"
count1
5
adverb"slightly"
count4
6
adverb"very"
count1
7
adverb"quickly"
count1
8
adverb"truly"
count2
highlights
0"carefully"
1"suddenly"
2"softly"
3"deliberately"
4"perfectly"
5"slightly"
6"very"
7"quickly"
8"truly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
6.08% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2449
totalAiIsms46
found
0
word"tapestry"
count1
1
word"scanned"
count1
2
word"solitary"
count1
3
word"flickered"
count1
4
word"constructed"
count2
5
word"silence"
count2
6
word"scanning"
count1
7
word"efficient"
count1
8
word"cataloged"
count1
9
word"perfect"
count1
10
word"effortless"
count1
11
word"reminder"
count1
12
word"furrowed"
count1
13
word"flicker"
count2
14
word"familiar"
count1
15
word"gleaming"
count1
16
word"racing"
count1
17
word"calculating"
count1
18
word"echoed"
count1
19
word"pang"
count1
20
word"unspoken"
count2
21
word"echo"
count2
22
word"testament"
count1
23
word"sentinel"
count1
24
word"etched"
count3
25
word"beacon"
count1
26
word"unreadable"
count2
27
word"weight"
count2
28
word"newfound"
count1
29
word"resolve"
count1
30
word"complex"
count2
31
word"fascinating"
count1
32
word"tracing"
count2
33
word"warmth"
count1
34
word"whisper"
count1
highlights
0"tapestry"
1"scanned"
2"solitary"
3"flickered"
4"constructed"
5"silence"
6"scanning"
7"efficient"
8"cataloged"
9"perfect"
10"effortless"
11"reminder"
12"furrowed"
13"flicker"
14"familiar"
15"gleaming"
16"racing"
17"calculating"
18"echoed"
19"pang"
20"unspoken"
21"echo"
22"testament"
23"sentinel"
24"etched"
25"beacon"
26"unreadable"
27"weight"
28"newfound"
29"resolve"
30"complex"
31"fascinating"
32"tracing"
33"warmth"
34"whisper"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"hung in the air"
count1
highlights
0"hung heavy in the air"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences132
matches
0"was bitter"
56.28% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount7
narrationSentences132
filterMatches
0"look"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tried to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences141
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen68
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans7
markdownWords7
totalWords2460
ratio0.003
matches
0"bold"
1"Rory"
2"is"
3"climb"
4"above"
5"she’ll"
6"hers"
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions21
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions97
wordCount2046
uniqueNames19
maxNameDensity2
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
November1
Rory41
Raven1
Nest1
Welsh1
Maya23
Davies1
Silas9
London3
Pre-Law1
Evan6
Cardiff2
Golden1
Empress1
Yu-Fei1
Cheung1
Brendan1
Carter1
Irish1
persons
0"Rory"
1"Raven"
2"Maya"
3"Davies"
4"Silas"
5"Evan"
6"Empress"
7"Yu-Fei"
8"Cheung"
9"Brendan"
10"Carter"
places
0"London"
1"Cardiff"
globalScore0.498
windowScore0
39.38% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences113
glossingSentenceCount5
matches
0"looked like expensive procedures"
1"felt like a shadow herself, barely soli"
2"felt like a glaring accusation, a testa"
3"weariness that seemed to mirror the faint, new lines etched around them"
4"as if considering a complex financial instrument"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.813
wordCount2460
matches
0"not fear, but a newfound resolve"
1"not as a burden, but as a quiet, enduring strength, by Rory herself"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences141
matches(empty)
92.17% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs33
mean74.55
std35.23
cv0.473
sampleLengths
0122
196
262
346
478
580
631
770
8135
9109
1070
1172
12106
1371
14123
1529
1661
1776
1822
19109
2088
2183
2262
2354
24150
25105
2628
2724
2839
2956
3025
3143
32135
99.95% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences132
matches
0"been dressed"
1"was hidden"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount1
totalVerbs331
matches
0"was stirring"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount11
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences10
totalSentences141
ratio0.071
matches
0"She was the antithesis of the drab, muted tones Rory usually saw – the charcoal of delivery uniforms, the faded denim of her own work jeans."
1"A tilt of the head, a subtle, almost imperceptible softening around the mouth – a ghost of a memory flickered, like a faulty gas lamp sputtering to life and then dying again."
2"Her sculpted eyebrows – impossibly high, like delicate arches over eyes that were, disconcertingly, the same bright blue as Rory’s own – shot up."
3"“But I didn’t let it. Not me.” She leaned in conspiratorially, her perfume – something sharp and floral, like an expensive, potent insecticide designed to keep all unpleasantness at bay, no doubt – washing over Rory."
4"Here was Maya, living, breathing proof that some people didn't need to disappear; they just needed to *climb*."
5"\"You live *above* the bar? And deliver for… who, exactly?\" Her gaze swept around the familiar, slightly scruffy interior – the faded maps pinned to the walls, the framed black-and-white photographs of stern faces Rory didn't know, faces that belonged to Silas’s past."
6"Rory felt an immediate, overwhelming urge to shatter the façade, to confess everything – the shame of her past, the struggle of her present, the fear that still lurked in the quiet hours."
7"Maya stared, a flicker of something unreadable – surprise?"
8"– crossing her carefully constructed features."
9"He met Rory’s gaze again, a subtle acknowledgment of her resilience, and perhaps, deeper still, a recognition of the unspoken regret that hung heavy in the air, a miasma of what-ifs and could-have-beens – the regret for the pasts left behind, the lives unlived, and the quiet, persistent hope for futures yet to be built, one delivery, one interaction, one hard-won moment at a time."
97.44% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2050
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount88
adverbRatio0.042926829268292686
lyAdverbCount31
lyAdverbRatio0.015121951219512195
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences141
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences141
mean17.45
std12.2
cv0.7
sampleLengths
027
15
23
325
419
526
614
73
822
932
1013
113
122
132
1422
156
1624
1718
1814
1933
2013
2118
2226
238
2419
257
2612
2720
2816
2915
3014
313
3218
3313
344
3511
363
3722
3811
3919
409
4118
4236
4341
4431
4514
461
473
4826
4918
40.66% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats16
diversityRatio0.3120567375886525
totalSentences141
uniqueOpeners44
53.33% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount2
totalSentences125
matches
0"Then, a dazzling, practiced smile"
1"Then, she turned, her crimson"
ratio0.016
60.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount50
totalSentences125
matches
0"Her breath hitched."
1"Her dress was a slash"
2"She was the antithesis of"
3"She was *bold*, a vibrant"
4"It couldn’t be."
5"Her sculpted eyebrows – impossibly"
6"It carried the crispness of"
7"She tried to summon a"
8"She stopped inches from Rory’s"
9"Her appraisal was swift, efficient,"
10"She didn't offer a hug,"
11"She simply cataloged."
12"It was a weak jab,"
13"she conceded, her smile not"
14"She leaned in conspiratorially, her"
15"She paused, her eyes flicking"
16"She’d left Cardiff with nothing"
17"She gestured around the bar,"
18"She deliberately avoided mentioning the"
19"Her gaze swept around the"
ratio0.4
24.00% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount109
totalSentences125
matches
0"The heavy oak door to"
1"Rory’s gaze drifted, then snagged."
2"Her breath hitched."
3"The woman’s hair was a"
4"Her dress was a slash"
5"She was the antithesis of"
6"She was *bold*, a vibrant"
7"A tilt of the head,"
8"Rory felt a sudden, cold"
9"It couldn’t be."
10"The life she’d so carefully"
11"The woman’s gaze landed on"
12"Her sculpted eyebrows – impossibly"
13"A beat of stunned silence"
14"The voice was lighter, higher"
15"It carried the crispness of"
16"Rory pushed her pint away,"
17"She tried to summon a"
18"Maya Davies had been a"
19"This woman was a monarch"
ratio0.872
40.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences125
matches
0"To Maya, it would sound…"
ratio0.008
7.72% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences74
technicalSentenceCount14
matches
0"The heavy oak door to the street creaked open, letting in a sharp wedge of November air and a woman who paused, blinking in the dim light."
1"Her sculpted eyebrows – impossibly high, like delicate arches over eyes that were, disconcertingly, the same bright blue as Rory’s own – shot up."
2"It carried the crispness of wealth, the assurance of someone who commanded attention."
3"Maya Davies had been a girl who wore hand-me-downs with fierce pride and dreamt of escaping her small-town life."
4"Rory, the Pre-Law drop-out, the ex-delivery driver, the woman who’d spent the last two years piecing herself back together from the shards left by Evan’s cruelt…"
5"She gestured around the bar, a gesture that felt both defensive and dismissive to herself."
6"Evan had done that, in a fit of pique, a casual, domestic cruelty that had marked her skin and her soul with equal carelessness."
7"He’d been proud of her, she knew, proud of her intelligence and drive, but he’d also been distant, a man of law unable to comprehend the messy, irrational darkn…"
8"Not the whole, soul-shattering truth, not the fear that had choked her for so long."
9"Maya waved a dismissive hand, diamonds flashing on her tapered fingers as if to prove her point."
10"Hazel eyes, usually sharp and assessing, held a depth of weariness that seemed to mirror the faint, new lines etched around them."
11"She turned to Silas, who was now leaning against the bar, watching her with that steady, unflinching gaze."
12"He had his own stories, he’d once hinted, of leaving places behind that held ghosts, of carrying weights that were unseen, etched into bone and soul."
13"He met Rory’s gaze again, a subtle acknowledgment of her resilience, and perhaps, deeper still, a recognition of the unspoken regret that hung heavy in the air,…"
45.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags25
uselessAdditionCount4
matches
0"She paused, her eyes flicking over Rory’s simple, dark clothing"
1"Maya said, her gaze hardening slightly, laced with a defensive edge"
2"Rory confirmed, her voice tight, controlled"
3"she admitted again, her voice barely a whisper"
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags13
fancyCount6
fancyTags
0"Maya breathed (breathe)"
1"she conceded (concede)"
2"She deliberately avoided mentioning the Golden Empress (avoid mention)"
3"Rory confirmed (confirm)"
4"she admitted again (admit)"
5"she agreed (agree)"
dialogueSentences36
tagDensity0.361
leniency0.722
rawRatio0.462
effectiveRatio0.333
64.3796%