Run: 2026-03-06-01KK1GHZG7QMX9P8C9MRXY6T97

“Bill, this is the lowest point of my criminal career.” “Lower than the inflatable-castle insurance scam?” “That was entrepreneurship. This is larceny with balloons.” “Balloons are festive camouflage, Molly. Nobody suspects a woman in a paper crown.” “I look deranged in a paper crown.” “You look approachable. Predators of joy must look approachable.” “Don’t say ‘predators of joy.’ It sounds like we eat clowns.” “We might, if the buffet’s bad.” “Focus. We get in, lift the presents, get out before the cake knife appears.” “The cake knife?” “Children become feral near buttercream.” “True. What’s our cover?” “You’re Uncle Bill from Swindon.” “I can’t be from Swindon. My knees are too metropolitan.” “Fine. You’re Bill the Magician.” “I know no magic.” “You stole three watches off a vicar during a christening.” “That was sleight of hand.” “Exactly. I’m Molly, frazzled event helper.” “You already look frazzled.” “Thank you, Prince Charming.” “What about the presents table?” “By the window, according to my source.” “Your source being?” “The birthday boy’s older sister. I bribed her with lip gloss and revolutionary rhetoric.” “Promising. Escape route?” “Through the kitchen, over the fence, into the alley.” “With a sack of presents?” “With dignity if possible, dragging if necessary.” “And if a child spots us?” “We improvise.” “Meaning?” “Cry first. Children hate admin.”