Run: 2026-03-06-01KK1HT1PMMHGKA0WW5MQ5T9E5

“Bill, you cannot wear the clown shoes. They squeak guilt.” “They squeak whimsy, Molly. Children trust whimsy.” “Children also trust balloons, and I’m not robbing a piñata in size fourteen slippers.” “You’ve got no vision. We stroll in as entertainers, distract the parents, sweep the presents, vanish before the cake notices.” “The cake notices everything. Fondant is basically surveillance.” “Fine. Magician and assistant.” “I’m not sawing anyone in half before noon.” “Then caterers.” “In these coats? We look like depressed ushers.” “You always crush possibility.” “I preserve freedom, Bill. There’s a difference.” “Right. New plan. We arrive late, carrying a giant gift.” “Empty?” “Obviously empty. We swap ours for all of theirs.” “That’s not a plan. That’s seasonal etiquette with felonies.” “Thank you.” “We still need cover.” “Grandparents.” “You’re thirty-seven.” “In low light, I’m seventy.” “No, in low light you’re damp.” “Harsh. All right, face painter?” “You can’t paint.” “I can do tiger stripes and emotional damage.” “Listen. We go in as the puppet show. Kids stare, parents film, I bag the presents, you keep talking.” “My finest crime skill.” “You were born monologuing.” “What’s our exit?” “Through the bouncy castle.” “That’s genius.” “It’s soft genius.” “And if we’re caught?” “We say we’re teaching sharing.” “Villainous.” “Educational.”