Run: 2026-03-06-01KK1J3GCRS01K2SQER682C7SG

Run Details

Model:
GPT-5.4
Duration:
2m 5s
Cost:
$0.069910
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
By half past six the Raven's Nest had settled into its usual evening skin: low amber light, the green neon sign outside bleeding through the front windows in a sickly wash, glasses chiming softly under the murmur of early drinkers. The old maps on the walls seemed to float in the dimness, coastlines and borders blurred by tobacco stain and age. Faces in the black-and-white photographs watched from their frames with the fixed patience of the dead. Aurora stood behind the bar because one of the staff had called in sick and Silas had looked at her over his glasses and said, "Only till seven, Rory," in the tone that meant he knew she would agree before she did. She was drawing a lager with one hand and making change with the other, her black hair tucked behind one ear, the crescent scar on her left wrist flashing pale when she reached for the till. She liked the work when it was busy enough to keep her mind from wandering but not so busy she had to smile at idiots. Tonight sat in the bearable middle. A pair of ad men in loosened ties nursed negronis by the window. A woman in a red coat read messages on her phone as if they insulted her personally. Two tourists studied the bottles with solemn confusion. Silas moved at the far end of the bar with that slight drag in his left leg he never tried to hide and never acknowledged. Even in shirtsleeves he carried his old life around him like weather. Quiet authority, Eva once called it, years ago, before everything in Rory's life had split into before and after. The silver signet ring on his right hand caught the light each time he set down a glass. "You're overpouring the stout," he said without looking up. "I'm being generous." "On my tab?" "On your reputation." He grunted, which from Silas was nearly laughter. The front door opened on a gust of damp March air. Rory looked up automatically, ready with the small neutral expression service jobs taught into your face. It died there. The man in the doorway took one step in and paused while his eyes adjusted. For one stupid, floating second she thought she was mistaken, that memory had played a trick on the shape of a face. Then he turned slightly, and she saw the line of his jaw, the nose she'd once seen broken in a school rugby match, the little hitch in his left eyebrow where hair refused to lie flat. Older, thinner through the cheeks, and with silver touched into dark hair at the temples, but unmistakable. Tom Morgan. She had not seen him in eight years. The name moved through her like something thrown into still water. Cardiff. Rain on the school gates. Cigarettes behind the leisure centre. The two of them on the sea wall in Penarth with chips going cold between them because he was telling her, in that earnest furious way he had at nineteen, that he would never become one of those men who let life happen to them. He had wanted to be a journalist then. Foreign desks. War zones. Truth in print. He had wanted, with embarrassing sincerity, to matter. And now he stood under the green neon spill in a dark wool coat that fit too well to be bought carelessly, one hand still on the door as though he might choose to leave. Silas glanced up, saw the way Rory had gone still, and his gaze flicked once to the newcomer. No question. Just inventory. Tom spotted her. She watched recognition strike, followed by surprise so naked it almost made him look young again. "Rory?" No one had called her that in his voice for years. It had once come easy, tossed over a shoulder, muffled by a scarf, spoken into the midnight hush of library stacks while they pretended to study. Hearing it now made her feel briefly misbuttoned. "Tom," she said. He came to the bar slowly, as if afraid a quick movement might break the moment. Up close the changes sharpened. There were fine lines at the corners of his eyes, yes, but that wasn't what altered him most. It was the containment. He had been all edges once, restless energy, a laugh that escaped before he decided to let it out. Now he held himself tightly, as though every impulse had been taught to wait for permission. His coat was expensive, his shirt crisp, his watch discreet and undoubtedly not cheap. There was a wedding band on his left hand. No tie. Still, he looked more like a man who belonged in boardrooms than one who had ever sat on a freezing beach at two in the morning arguing politics with her over supermarket wine. He stopped at the bar. "Jesus." "Strong opening." He let out a short breath that wanted to become a laugh and didn't quite. "I just— I didn't expect..." "Neither did I." Silas appeared beside her, placed a fresh stack of coasters down, and looked at Tom with polite disinterest. "What can I get you?" Tom glanced at Rory, maybe wondering whether he should stay. She found she didn't want the choice handed to her. "Whatever he's having," she said to Silas, nodding at a man two stools down. "A whisky, then," Silas said. "Sensibly priced. For old time's sake." Tom's mouth twitched. "That sounds ominous." "Usually is." Silas reached for a bottle. "You know each other." "We grew up together," Tom said. "That explains the expression on her face." Silas set the whisky down in front of him. "Mine's Silas." Tom offered a hand. "Tom Morgan." Silas shook it once, his signet ring cool and bright against Tom's skin. "Try not to make trouble. The furniture's older than both of you put together." When he moved away, Tom looked after him. "He always like that?" "More or less." "You work here?" "I live upstairs. I help out." "Right." He wrapped a hand around the glass but didn't drink. "Right." There was too much in the word. Questions stacked under it. What happened to you? Why here? Why no longer Cardiff, no longer law, no longer the girl who had once corrected his essays in the margins and swore she'd wear wigs in court just to mock the system from the inside? Rory reached for a towel and wiped down a stretch of already clean wood. It gave her somewhere to put her hands. "What are you doing in Soho on a Wednesday?" "Meeting ran late." He said it with that faint practiced weariness of people accustomed to meetings running their lives. "I was meant to be having dinner nearby. They cancelled. I walked, saw the sign, thought I recognized the place name from somewhere." He looked around. "I think someone mentioned it years ago." "I mention this place to a lot of people. Most of them don't remember." He took that in, then finally sipped his whisky. "You look the same." "That's kind. Also inaccurate." "Maybe. But I knew you straight away." She almost said, You changed enough that I didn't. It would have been untrue and too close to true at once. Instead she said, "You clean up well." A quick glance down at his coat. "You say that like an accusation." "I mean it as an observation." He smiled then, a real smile, and there he was for a heartbeat—the old Tom, all warmth and poor judgment. It vanished quickly. "I'm in corporate communications now." Rory blinked. "You're joking." "I wish I were." "You used to call that propaganda for expensive criminals." "I know." "And now?" "Now I help expensive criminals phrase things carefully." She laughed before she could stop herself. He looked absurdly relieved, as though he'd been waiting to see if she still could. "What happened to journalism?" she asked. He rolled the glass between his palms. "A sequence of practical decisions dressed up as temporary compromises." He looked at the whisky. "You wake up one morning and discover you've been temporary for seven years." That, at least, sounded honest. She studied him. "You hated practical decisions." "Yes." His gaze lifted to her face. "Well. Turns out hatred isn't a stable business model." The wedding band caught the light when he drank. Rory found herself looking at it despite herself. He noticed. "Married," he said. "Three years." She nodded. "Happy?" A small pause. Not long, but enough. "We're... decent to each other." There it was again, that carefulness. The words selected not for truth exactly, but for minimal fallout. "That sounds romantic." "I deserve that." Silence fell between them, not yet uncomfortable, only crowded. Behind Tom, the door opened and shut, bringing in two more customers and a wash of city noise. Somewhere toward the back, someone laughed too loudly. Ice cracked in a metal well. London carried on with its usual indifference. Tom set his glass down. "You disappeared, Rory." The towel stilled in her hands. There it was. Not hello, not how have you been. The old wound, opened with no warning. She folded the towel neatly and put it under the bar. "Life got complicated." "You left university in the middle of term. You changed your number. Eva wouldn't tell me where you'd gone." "Then Eva was being sensible." "Were we not allowed to be worried?" His voice stayed low, but she heard the old temper in it, banked and glowing. For a moment she saw him at twenty-two, standing outside Cathays station in the rain after she'd missed three calls and lied badly about where she'd been. He had always been angriest when frightened. She could have shut him down. She had practice. Cool-headed, quick-thinking, always a door in the wall if she needed one. But his face held something that disarmed her: not accusation alone. Hurt. The stale hurt of a man who'd had years to file his edges down and still couldn't touch the memory without finding a burr. "I was with someone I shouldn't have been with," she said. He went very still. She hadn't meant to tell him that much. The words landed and stayed. She watched understanding spread across his face in stages, each one making him look older. "Evan," he said quietly. She gave the smallest nod. Tom shut his eyes for a second. "I knew he was a prick." "That is an incomplete diagnosis." His jaw tightened. "Did he—" "Enough," she said. Not sharp, but final. He accepted the stop immediately, and for that she was grateful. Most men, once invited to the edge of a wound, wanted the whole anatomy of it. Tom only looked down at his hands, as if checking what they might do if left unoccupied. "I should've done something," he said. The line irritated her on principle. "You were twenty-two, not clairvoyant." "I saw bruises once." She looked at him hard. "You saw what I said was a cupboard door." "And I let you say it." "What exactly were you meant to do, Tom? Citizen's arrest? Drag me out by my coat? I wasn't exactly receptive to advice." "No." His mouth twisted. "You were spectacularly not." That was true enough to take some sting out of the moment. She leaned her hips against the back counter and crossed her arms. "There you are, then." He shook his head. "That's not all of it." "Go on." He hesitated. He had always been easier with convictions than confessions. "The last time we spoke, we argued." "That narrows the field." "You said I'd be gone in six months. That I'd always wanted an audience more than a cause." She remembered. Outside the student union, both of them full of cheap coffee and self-righteousness. He'd gotten an internship in London and spoken about it as if the city itself had issued him a summons. She'd been raw and cornered and secretly envious of anyone whose future still looked like a road. So she'd struck where she knew he was soft. "I was cruel," she said. "Yes." A beat passed, then they both smiled despite themselves. "I thought I'd prove you wrong," he said. "I was angry for months. Ridiculous amount of energy to spend on a sentence." "And? Did you?" His fingers tapped once against the glass. "Some days. Other days I hear myself in meetings talking about stakeholder confidence and reputational containment, and I think perhaps your exact wording was prophetic." She laughed again, quieter this time. He looked at her with something close to wonder, as if the sound had reached him from a long way off. "I missed you." Simple words. No theatricality. That made them worse. Rory looked down at the varnished bar top, at the crescent scar on her wrist where the skin always looked a shade lighter than the rest of her. She remembered being fourteen and him wrapping a tea towel around that bleeding wrist after she'd put it through a pane of greenhouse glass at her parents' house, both of them swearing they'd tell no one. He had gone pale at the blood and bossy at the sight of it. Hold still, Rory. For God's sake, hold still. Time did not erase things. It just layered fresh matter over them until some accidental pressure made the old shapes show through. "I missed you too," she said. He breathed out through his nose. A tiny surrender. Silas drifted near to collect empties, taking in the altered weather between them with one quick glance. "Another?" he asked Tom. Tom looked at Rory first. She shrugged. "Your sequence of practical decisions can survive one more whisky." Silas poured without comment. As he set down the glass, his eyes touched Rory's face for half a second: a check, an offer, a warning. She gave him the barest nod. He moved away. Tom watched him go. "He looks after you." "Among other things." "He your landlord or your bodyguard?" "Somewhere between publican and spymaster." Tom gave her a skeptical look. She smiled. "If I explained, you'd think less of my recent practical decisions." He considered that. "Do you like your life?" The question landed cleaner than she expected. Not Are you safe. Not Are you all right. Something harder. Rory let herself answer honestly. "More than I used to." He nodded slowly, as if that mattered to him more than any of the details. Maybe it did. "And you?" she asked. "Do you like yours?" His eyes moved over the maps on the walls, the photographs, the bottles glowing amber and green behind the bar. Anywhere but her for a moment. "I have a nice flat in Clerkenwell," he said. "A wife who is kind. A salary my younger self would have called morally suspicious. A father who now introduces me to his friends as if he made me in a workshop." "That sounds like a speech." "It is." "Not an answer." He smiled without humor. "No. I don't know. Parts of it fit. Parts of it feel like a suit tailored for someone with straighter shoulders." Rory thought of the wedding band again, the careful word decent. Of the way he'd paused before coming inside, hand still on the door. "Why did the dinner get cancelled?" He looked at her, and this time there was no practiced ease in him at all. "Because my wife asked for some space." The din of the bar seemed to recede. Rory had the odd sensation of the room tilting, very slightly, toward honesty. "I'm sorry," she said. He gave one shoulder a faint lift. "We've been performing adulthood at each other for a while. Turns out applause is not the same thing as intimacy." She winced. "Still writing your own lines, then." "Occupational hazard." He drank. Not quickly. Like a man trying not to. Rory wanted to say something useful, but useful was difficult and often overrated. "You loved too many versions of your future at once," she said. "That was always your problem." He looked up sharply. "Was it?" "Mm. You wanted principle and admiration and freedom and certainty and to never disappoint anyone worth impressing. That's too many chairs to sit on with one arse." The laugh broke out of him before he could contain it, full and surprised. A few heads turned. He scrubbed a hand over his face. "God, I haven't heard you talk in years and there it is." "What, elegance?" "Violence disguised as clarity." "You're welcome." His laughter faded into a softer expression, one she could not easily name. Affection, certainly. Grief, maybe. The knowledge of roads not taken. She knew that one too well. "I looked for you once," he said. She frowned. "When?" "A year after you left. I was in London for work experience. I had Eva's old address, not yours. I spent an afternoon walking around Soho asking in cafés if anyone knew an Aurora Carter from Cardiff." He glanced around the bar. "Probably walked past this street and never knew." The image struck her harder than she'd expected: Tom, younger and earnest and still believing enough in old loyalties to hunt for her in a city this size. She felt, absurdly, the urge to apologize for all the versions of herself he had had to lose. "I wasn't ready to be found," she said. "I know that now." "And are you ready now?" she asked before she could stop herself. He met her eyes. For a second the room went quiet in the way it only seemed to when something mattered. "To find you?" he said. "To be found." A muscle moved in his cheek. His hand rested on the bar, open, wedding ring bright as a warning. "I don't know," he said. "But I think I might be tired of hiding in plain sight." It was too intimate a sentence for the space between old friends and strangers. Or perhaps exactly intimate enough. Rory felt the danger of it, not romantic exactly, but destabilizing. The pull of being seen by someone who knew the first drafts of you. She straightened and reached for a bottle she didn't need to move. "Careful. Another whisky and you'll start sounding sincere." "I was sincere at nineteen." "You were unbearable at nineteen." "And now?" "Now you're better dressed." He accepted the evasion. Maybe he was grateful for it. The evening thickened around them. More patrons came in, and the room filled with the layered noise of glasses, chairs, low conversation, the door opening and closing on the wet city beyond. Rory served a round of beers, took a card payment, found a missing receipt. Tom shifted to one side to make room, his presence now folded into the rhythm of the place. Every so often their eyes met over some ordinary task, and each time something old and unfinished stirred, then settled again. At eight, he set cash on the bar though he'd paid by card already. A habit from another life. "I should go." She looked at the notes, then at him. "Your practical decisions calling?" "Relentlessly." He stood, smoothing a hand down the front of his coat. Up close, she could smell rain on wool and the faint citrus of whatever aftershave expensive men wore when they wanted to seem as though they hadn't thought about it. His face had closed a little, the way people close umbrellas before stepping back into weather. "It was good to see you," he said. "Unexpectedly?" He gave a small smile. "Profoundly." That should have embarrassed her. Instead it made her tired in a very old place. He took out his phone. "Could I—" "Yes," she said, before he had to finish. They exchanged numbers with a clumsy formality that would have made their younger selves howl. When he had hers, he looked at the screen for a second longer than necessary, as if testing the reality of it. At the door he paused under the green neon wash and turned back. The years between them seemed suddenly visible, not as distance but as a field of things neither could cross tonight. "I'm glad you got out," he said. So that was what he had carried to the threshold. Not accusation. Not even regret, at root. Relief, arriving years late and still sincere. Rory put a hand on the bar to steady herself against the force of that simple kindness. "I'm glad you came in." He nodded once. Then he was gone into Soho's wet dark, swallowed by headlights and passing umbrellas and all the lives London stacked on top of one another without ever asking them to make sense. For a while she stood where he had left her. Silas came down the bar drying a glass. "Friend of yours," he said. "Once." "And now?" Rory looked at the door, at the green light trembling across the windowpane. Somewhere out there Tom Morgan would be walking toward whatever waited for him, carrying his careful life like a briefcase with a broken clasp. She picked up the abandoned whisky glass and held it to the light. A smear of his thumb marked the side. "I don't know yet," she said. Silas grunted softly, taking in the answer for what it was. "Usually the honest ones start there." He moved on. Rory set the glass in the sink and watched water strike it clean. Outside, the neon sign hummed. Inside, the maps hung steady on the walls, countries and coastlines fixed in ink while people crossed and recrossed them, changed names, changed work, changed futures, and still found themselves, now and then, face to face with who they had been.
created_at"2026-03-06T12:31:35.327Z" 3/6/2026, 12:31:35 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency446
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time124559
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion5419
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion4526
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.06991
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_018dd880186c5a850169aac927625881908a8bbf856c3b1c16"
is_byokfalse
latency189
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1772800295-yYGOily2ipijDUrpgIlp"
upstream_id"resp_018dd880186c5a850169aac927625881908a8bbf856c3b1c16"
total_cost0.06991
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags41
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"He looked around [around]"
1"he said quietly [quietly]"
2"He glanced around [around]"
dialogueSentences154
tagDensity0.266
leniency0.532
rawRatio0.073
effectiveRatio0.039
79.27% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3618
totalAiIsmAdverbs15
found
0
adverb"softly"
count2
1
adverb"slightly"
count2
2
adverb"slowly"
count2
3
adverb"tightly"
count1
4
adverb"quickly"
count2
5
adverb"carefully"
count1
6
adverb"very"
count3
7
adverb"sharply"
count1
8
adverb"suddenly"
count1
highlights
0"softly"
1"slightly"
2"slowly"
3"tightly"
4"quickly"
5"carefully"
6"very"
7"sharply"
8"suddenly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
91.71% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3618
totalAiIsms6
found
0
word"eyebrow"
count1
1
word"flicked"
count1
2
word"warmth"
count1
3
word"silence"
count1
4
word"practiced ease"
count1
5
word"affection"
count1
highlights
0"eyebrow"
1"flicked"
2"warmth"
3"silence"
4"practiced ease"
5"affection"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"room fell silent"
count1
highlights
0"the room went quiet"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells2
narrationSentences279
matches
0"was grateful"
1"was grateful"
86.53% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount4
hedgeCount7
narrationSentences279
filterMatches
0"look"
1"feel"
2"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tried to"
2"happen to"
3"tended to"
4"happened to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences393
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen45
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3617
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions56
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
50.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions73
wordCount2725
uniqueNames16
maxNameDensity0.77
worstName"Tom"
maxWindowNameDensity3.5
worstWindowName"Tom"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest1
Silas14
Eva1
Rory20
March1
Morgan2
Penarth1
Tom21
Cardiff2
You1
Cathays1
London3
God1
Are2
Soho1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Silas"
3"Eva"
4"Rory"
5"Morgan"
6"Tom"
7"You"
8"God"
places
0"Penarth"
1"Cardiff"
2"Cathays"
3"London"
4"Soho"
globalScore1
windowScore0.5
43.94% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences165
glossingSentenceCount7
matches
0"quite"
1"appeared beside her, placed a fresh stack of coasters down, and looked at Tom with polite disinterest"
2"as if checking what they might do if left unoccupied"
3"looked like a road"
4"something close to wonder, as if the sound had r"
5"as if testing the reality of it"
6"seemed suddenly visible not as distance but as a field of things neither could cross tonight"
61.76% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches5
per1kWords1.382
wordCount3617
matches
0"Not long, but enough"
1"not for truth exactly, but for minimal fallout"
2"Not sharp, but final"
3"not romantic exactly, but destabilizing"
4"not as distance but as a field of things neither could cross tonight"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences393
matches
0"mistaken, that memory"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs196
mean18.45
std20.96
cv1.136
sampleLengths
077
178
269
374
49
53
63
73
88
930
1090
112
128
1390
1435
1522
1619
171
1845
193
20136
216
222
2320
243
2523
2634
2711
286
2911
306
3118
326
3327
3412
353
363
376
3812
3952
4031
4152
4214
4313
444
457
4621
477
4813
496
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount4
totalSentences279
matches
0"was mistaken"
1"been taught"
2"being seen"
3"was gone"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs494
matches
0"was drawing"
1"was telling"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount1
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences1
totalSentences393
ratio0.003
matches
0"He smiled then, a real smile, and there he was for a heartbeat—the old Tom, all warmth and poor judgment."
95.85% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount1967
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount88
adverbRatio0.044738179969496694
lyAdverbCount25
lyAdverbRatio0.012709710218607015
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences393
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences393
mean9.2
std8.05
cv0.875
sampleLengths
040
121
216
342
436
525
66
713
817
98
1025
1112
1219
1318
149
153
163
173
188
1911
2016
213
2215
2322
2436
2517
262
278
2811
291
305
315
3245
338
342
352
363
378
3835
3918
402
412
423
4316
441
4511
4626
478
483
4916
46.18% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats15
diversityRatio0.2926208651399491
totalSentences393
uniqueOpeners115
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount9
totalSentences230
matches
0"Then he turned slightly, and"
1"Instead she said,"
2"Somewhere toward the back, someone"
3"Maybe it did."
4"Anywhere but her for a"
5"Maybe he was grateful for"
6"Instead it made her tired"
7"Then he was gone into"
8"Somewhere out there Tom Morgan"
ratio0.039
63.48% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount90
totalSentences230
matches
0"She was drawing a lager"
1"She liked the work when"
2"he said without looking up"
3"He grunted, which from Silas"
4"It died there."
5"She had not seen him"
6"He had wanted to be"
7"He had wanted, with embarrassing"
8"She watched recognition strike, followed"
9"It had once come easy,"
10"He came to the bar"
11"It was the containment."
12"He had been all edges"
13"His coat was expensive, his"
14"He stopped at the bar."
15"He let out a short"
16"She found she didn't want"
17"she said to Silas, nodding"
18"He wrapped a hand around"
19"It gave her somewhere to"
ratio0.391
90.43% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount170
totalSentences230
matches
0"The old maps on the"
1"Faces in the black-and-white photographs"
2"Aurora stood behind the bar"
3"She was drawing a lager"
4"She liked the work when"
5"Tonight sat in the bearable"
6"A pair of ad men"
7"A woman in a red"
8"Silas moved at the far"
9"The silver signet ring on"
10"he said without looking up"
11"He grunted, which from Silas"
12"The front door opened on"
13"Rory looked up automatically, ready"
14"It died there."
15"The man in the doorway"
16"She had not seen him"
17"The name moved through her"
18"Cigarettes behind the leisure centre."
19"The two of them on"
ratio0.739
43.48% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount2
totalSentences230
matches
0"Even in shirtsleeves he carried"
1"Now he held himself tightly,"
ratio0.009
87.91% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences104
technicalSentenceCount8
matches
0"The two of them on the sea wall in Penarth with chips going cold between them because he was telling her, in that earnest furious way he had at nineteen, that h…"
1"And now he stood under the green neon spill in a dark wool coat that fit too well to be bought carelessly, one hand still on the door as though he might choose …"
2"Still, he looked more like a man who belonged in boardrooms than one who had ever sat on a freezing beach at two in the morning arguing politics with her over s…"
3"But his face held something that disarmed her: not accusation alone."
4"Tom only looked down at his hands, as if checking what they might do if left unoccupied."
5"Up close, she could smell rain on wool and the faint citrus of whatever aftershave expensive men wore when they wanted to seem as though they hadn't thought abo…"
6"They exchanged numbers with a clumsy formality that would have made their younger selves howl."
7"When he had hers, he looked at the screen for a second longer than necessary, as if testing the reality of it."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags41
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags32
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"Aurora stood (stand)"
dialogueSentences154
tagDensity0.208
leniency0.416
rawRatio0.031
effectiveRatio0.013
88.0185%