Run: 2026-03-09-01KK9PZW5EWY37RSD0VEZH2HDY

“Bill, you cannot wear a fake mustache to a six-year-old’s birthday party.” “Why not? It says ‘trusted uncle.’” “It says ‘discount magician.’” “Close enough. Kids love mystery.” “Kids love cake. We’re there for presents, remember?” “I remember. I also remember last time you said ‘blend in,’ and I ended up in a balloon arch.” “That was one arch, Bill. Stop making it your personality.” “What’s the plan, then?” “We stroll in, smile politely, admire the clown from a safe emotional distance, and locate the gift table.” “Then what?” “Then we improvise dignity, which will be a first for you.” “Harsh. Accurate, but harsh.” “No grabbing, no cackling, no announcing ‘jackpot’ over a pile of dinosaur wrapping paper.” “That happened once.” “At a christening.” “Still got the train set.” “Focus. We wait until the party game starts. All eyes on the children, none on the presents.” “And if a child asks who we are?” “You’re Bill from Face Painting.” “I can’t paint faces.” “You can barely paint sentences. Just hold a brush and look disappointed.” “And you?” “I’m Molly, assistant to the woman wrestling a piñata string.” “Elegant.” “Effective.” “What about the dog?” “Bribeable.” “With what?” “Mini sausage rolls.” Bill grinned. “Molly, this is the classiest crime we’ve ever almost committed.”