Run: 2026-03-09-01KKABYY89YH7PFPPVDR2WV6H9

Run Details

Duration:
1m 27s
Cost:
$0.050565
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rain turned Soho’s streets slick as oil and black as a cut vein. It hissed on pavement, drummed on taxi roofs, and ran in silver ropes off awnings and fire escapes. Detective Harlow Quinn stood across from The Raven’s Nest with rain stippling the shoulders of her coat and soaking through the collar she’d turned up ten minutes ago. The bar’s green neon sign buzzed over the entrance, sickly and bright in the wet dark. In the puddles, the letters shivered and broke apart. Quinn kept still in the doorway of a shuttered tailor’s shop, weight balanced, hands loose at her sides. To anyone glancing over, she was just another Londoner trying not to drown. Up close, there was no mistaking the military precision in the way she held herself, the way her sharp jaw stayed set even when she was thinking hard. Rain beaded on her closely cropped salt-and-pepper hair. Her worn leather watch clung darkly to her left wrist. She’d been watching the Nest for an hour. Officially, she was following a money trail linked to stolen pharmaceuticals, assault, and two men who had vanished after asking the wrong questions in Camden. Unofficially, she was following the same wrong feeling that had lived under her ribs for three years now, ever since Morris had died in an alley with no marks on him and terror frozen on his face. She still did not have a language for what she’d seen that night. But she’d learned to recognize the edges of it. The Raven’s Nest had those edges. Too many people entered and not enough left by the front door. Too many names came up in witness statements that ended in shrugs, missing hours, impossible descriptions. The sort of place where secrets got poured neat and paid for in cash. Her phone vibrated once in her pocket. A text from the constable she’d stationed at the far end of the block. Movement. Male exiting rear alley now. Quinn was already moving before the screen went dark. She cut down the side street, shoes skidding once on the wet stones, then caught herself. The alley behind the Nest was a narrow throat between brick walls, rank with old beer, bleach, and the sweet rot of overflowing bins. Light spilled from a cracked security lamp halfway up the wall, turning the rain white. A man was twenty yards ahead, coming out of the deeper shadow near the service entrance. Hood up. Long stride. One hand jammed under his jacket like he was holding something there. “Police!” Quinn barked. “Stop where you are.” He looked back once. That was all she got: a pale wedge of face, dark stubble, eyes wide with the startled calculation of prey deciding whether it could risk becoming predator. Then he ran. Quinn swore and went after him. He was quick. Faster than she’d expected on slick ground. He vaulted a low chain barring the alley mouth and hit Greek Street at a dead sprint, splashing through standing water, shouldering past a couple huddled under a single umbrella. The umbrella turned inside out in the wind. The woman shouted after him. Quinn came through a second later, badge out in one hand. “Police! Out of the way!” A cab horn blared. Headlights washed over the street. The suspect cut between two cars and nearly disappeared under a turning van. Quinn followed, feeling the hot lick of adrenaline sharpen everything. Rain in her eyes. Diesel in her nose. The grind of tires on flooded asphalt. Her pulse thudded steady and hard, not fast so much as exact. The man glanced back again, saw she was still there, and pushed harder. He knew where he was going. That changed the shape of the chase. Most runners zigzagged, made panicked choices, burned themselves early. This one kept choosing turns before he reached them, cutting east, then north, through lanes and service passages Quinn knew well enough to stay close but not enough to predict his destination. Soho thinned behind them. Neon gave way to shuttered shopfronts, dark Georgian facades, the occasional off-license still lit up like a bunker. Her earpiece crackled with control trying to raise her. Quinn ignored it. The suspect slid across the bonnet of a parked car to save two steps and landed badly, almost losing his footing. Something flashed from under his jacket and clattered onto the pavement. He didn’t stop for it. Quinn did, for half a heartbeat. Instinct and experience both. She scooped the object up as she ran. A small token. White, carved, polished smooth by handling. Bone. Cold bit into her palm so sharply it felt like a tiny electric shock. She nearly dropped it. For an instant the rain noise dimmed and something old and insectile seemed to whisper at the edge of hearing. Then the street came back in full, ugly volume. Quinn closed her fingers around the token and kept running. The suspect had gained ten yards. He cut through a market lane littered with collapsed tarps and empty crates, then over a low railing toward the canal path. Water gleamed black under the bridge arches. Camden now, or near enough. Quinn’s lungs burned. Her left knee, the one she’d twisted two winters ago chasing a knife suspect through Holborn, sent up a warning jab each time she landed hard. She ignored that too. He knew she wouldn’t shoot. Knew she couldn’t, not in weather like this, not with too many blind corners and too many civilians drifting through the night. So he ran smart. Not away from witnesses. Through them. A pair of young men smoking under an arch flattened themselves against the brick as he blew past. One shouted, “Oi!” Quinn shoved through the wake of cigarette smoke and damp wool and heard one of them say, more softly, “Jesus, look at her.” She didn’t spare them a glance. Up ahead, the suspect ducked under scaffolding draped in flapping plastic. The sheeting snapped in the wind like sails. Quinn plunged through and emerged into a narrow service road behind a row of lockups. He was at the far end now, fumbling in his pocket, then yanking at a rusted metal gate set into a wall she might have run past a hundred times without noticing. No, not a gate. An old station entrance. Half bricked up, municipal signage long removed, iron bars furred with rust and rain. She saw him jam something against a plate beside it. There was a sound under the weather—metal unlocking deep inside the wall—and one section of the gate gave inward just enough for a body to slip through. He vanished. Quinn reached the entrance seconds later and caught the gate before it swung shut. The metal shuddered in her grip with surprising force. She planted a foot against the wall, hauled it back, and squeezed herself through the gap. The city noise died at once, as if the wall behind her had swallowed it. She stood at the head of a stairwell dropping steeply into stale darkness. Water dripped from above in a slow, hollow rhythm. The tiled walls were yellowed and cracked, old Underground signage barely visible beneath grime and graffiti. Somewhere below, far enough to be hidden and near enough to matter, voices murmured. Not one voice. Dozens. A market hum, unmistakable even underground. Quinn looked at the bone token in her hand. That whispering pressure stirred again, more insistently now. Not sound. Not exactly. Like a draft moving over exposed nerves. She had backup ten minutes away if traffic cooperated and if she called them now. She had no warrant for whatever this was. No idea what waited below. Every instinct shaped by eighteen years in the job told her not to go alone into an unknown space controlled by people who already had the advantage. Then Morris’s face rose in her mind without warning: eyes open, rain on his lashes, mouth half parted as if he’d died trying to ask her what he’d just seen. Three years of being careful had bought her paperwork, dead ends, and superiors who lowered their voices when they mentioned her. She had learned enough to know when the world was lying to itself. If she walked away now, this door would close. The street above would become ordinary again. The report would be trimmed to fit reality, and reality would keep leaving bodies behind. Quinn drew her service weapon. Checked the chamber by touch. Reholstered it. Too crowded below, if the sound was any indication. She pulled instead the compact torch from her pocket, then thought better of that too and switched it off. Light would only announce her. Her hand settled near the grip at her hip. She started down. The stairwell twisted once, twice. The air changed as she descended. Less rot, more heat. Strange smells threaded through the damp: spice, hot metal, incense, something medicinal and sharp enough to sting the sinuses. Voices grew clearer. Boots on old concrete. Laughter. A burst of angry bargaining in a language she didn’t catch. Music somewhere, thin and metallic. At the bottom, the tunnel opened. Quinn stopped dead in the shadow of a tiled pillar and took it in. An abandoned Tube platform stretched away under soot-black arches, transformed by a hundred illicit improvisations. Strings of mismatched bulbs hung from conduit and old station signs. Tarps and patched canvas made stalls along the platform edge. The derelict track bed below had been roofed in sections with scavenged metal and planks to create more space, narrow bridges crossing where rails once ran. Men and women moved through the place in rain-dark coats and expensive suits, in leathers, in old uniforms, in clothes too fine or too strange for any ordinary black market in London. A woman with silver rings stacked to her knuckles bartered over jars of something that glowed a poisonous blue. A vendor hacked slivers from a dark red root on a butcher block. Another stall displayed knives whose blades shimmered with an oily light that hurt to look at directly. The Veil Market, some paid source had once called it before retracting the statement and insisting he’d been drunk. Hidden. Mobile. Entry by bone token. Quinn’s fingers tightened around the token in her pocket until the edges pressed hard into her skin. No one shouted at her. No alarm went up. People glanced, assessed, and dismissed her with the cool incuriosity of criminals who assumed anyone bold enough to walk in belonged there. Her coat was dark enough. Her expression gave nothing away. The rain had made a wreck of everybody. Then she saw the suspect. He was halfway down the platform, hood lowered now, speaking urgently to a broad-shouldered woman at a stall lined with locked tin cases. He kept looking back over his shoulder. The woman did not. She listened with the patience of someone deciding whether a problem was worth a fee. Quinn stepped behind a column plastered with ancient adverts for cigarettes and seaside holidays. She watched him hand over a package from under his jacket. Small. Wrapped in oilcloth. The woman weighed it once in her palm and gave a short nod. Her eyes lifted, skimming the crowd. Quinn turned her face slightly away. A hand touched her sleeve. It was light, almost courteous. Still, her whole body came tight at once. She pivoted, one hand dropping toward her weapon. “Easy,” the man said. He had warm brown eyes and short curly dark brown hair damp from the weather above. Olive skin. Maybe late twenties. He held both hands where she could see them, palms out, though one forearm showed a long scar disappearing under his cuff. At his throat, a Saint Christopher medallion flashed in the station light. He looked like no one she was chasing and exactly like someone who knew better than to startle armed strangers in hidden markets. “You stand like police,” he said quietly, with the soft shape of Spain still in his voice. “And you are staring at the wrong people too hard.” Quinn kept her hand where it was. “Move.” “Gladly. But if you draw down here, you will not leave by the stairs.” His gaze flicked once toward the suspect and back. “Whoever you’re after, he’s already trying to buy protection.” “Who are you?” “Someone trying to stop you getting yourself killed in my peripheral vision.” He tipped his head, not quite a smile. “Tomás.” She gave him nothing. He studied her face for a beat, then his expression shifted. Not recognition exactly. More like filing her under dangerous. “You are not supposed to be here.” “No one here is supposed to be here.” “That is fair.” Down the platform, the suspect had finished his exchange. The broad-shouldered woman snapped the tin case shut and pointed him toward an archway curtained with chains and strips of black plastic. Private rooms, Quinn guessed. Security. Escape routes. He started moving. Quinn stepped to go after him. Tomás caught her sleeve again, firmer this time. “If you follow him through there, the market will notice you.” “I think the market’s already noticed me.” “Not properly.” He lowered his voice further. “There are rules. They tolerate many things. A police arrest is not one of them.” Quinn met his eyes. They were steady, intelligent, and entirely too calm for a man standing in a buried criminal bazaar while a detective tried not to implode the place. “Then give me another way.” Tomás hesitated. That told her more than words would have. He belonged here enough to know the angles. Not enough to be comfortable choosing a side in front of her. “Why are you helping me?” she asked. A sound went through the market then—a sudden rise and twist in the ambient noise, subtle but real. Heads turned toward the stair entrance. Not panic. Alertness. Tomás heard it too. “Because,” he said, “if the people below start wondering who brought the detective, they may decide it was me.” Quinn looked past him. Two men in dark coats had detached themselves from a tea stall near the center of the platform. They weren’t hurrying. They didn’t need to. They had the patient confidence of security used to owning the terrain. One spoke into the collar of his coat. The suspect was disappearing behind the black plastic curtains. Quinn felt the decision settle in her with the clean, hard click of a round chambering. Unknown territory. Hostile environment. No backup. No control. And, finally, a door that had opened instead of slamming shut in her face. “Show me the other way,” she said. Tomás searched her expression one last time, as if hoping to find caution there and save them both trouble. He found whatever had kept her moving through the rain and into the earth instead. His mouth tightened. “Stay close.” He turned sharply and slipped between two stalls selling bottled tinctures and old silver charms. Quinn followed at his shoulder as the men in dark coats changed direction and began threading through the crowd after them. Behind her, the station’s old tiles sweated damp. Ahead, the market deepened into tunnels and shadows and the smell of things the city above had no name for. Quinn went down anyway.
created_at"2026-03-09T22:37:24.114Z" 3/9/2026, 10:37:24 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency4130
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time87221
tokens_prompt914
tokens_completion4056
native_tokens_prompt810
native_tokens_completion3236
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning73
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.050565
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_0b346f50cdbb8a920169af4ba431388190a6a94903f4b496e5"
is_byokfalse
latency225
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773095844-z7vKwuLgiijSQqlzqUhO"
upstream_id"resp_0b346f50cdbb8a920169af4ba431388190a6a94903f4b496e5"
total_cost0.050565
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
40.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags10
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"he said quietly [quietly]"
1"His gaze flicked once [once]"
dialogueSentences25
tagDensity0.4
leniency0.8
rawRatio0.2
effectiveRatio0.16
92.16% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2551
totalAiIsmAdverbs4
found
0
adverb"sharply"
count2
1
adverb"softly"
count1
2
adverb"slightly"
count1
highlights
0"sharply"
1"softly"
2"slightly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
82.36% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2551
totalAiIsms9
found
0
word"weight"
count1
1
word"vibrated"
count1
2
word"predator"
count1
3
word"pulse"
count1
4
word"electric"
count1
5
word"whisper"
count1
6
word"shimmered"
count1
7
word"flicked"
count1
8
word"comfortable"
count1
highlights
0"weight"
1"vibrated"
2"predator"
3"pulse"
4"electric"
5"whisper"
6"shimmered"
7"flicked"
8"comfortable"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences237
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences237
filterMatches
0"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences252
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen37
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2548
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions10
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"Private rooms, Quinn guessed."
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions65
wordCount2391
uniqueNames23
maxNameDensity1.21
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Soho2
Harlow1
Quinn29
Raven2
Nest4
Londoner1
Camden2
Morris2
Greek1
Street1
Georgian1
Holborn1
Underground1
Tube1
London1
Veil1
Market1
Saint1
Christopher1
Spain1
Tomás4
Rain3
One3
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Raven"
3"Nest"
4"Londoner"
5"Morris"
6"Saint"
7"Christopher"
8"Tomás"
9"Rain"
10"One"
places
0"Soho"
1"Camden"
2"Greek"
3"Street"
4"London"
5"Market"
6"Spain"
globalScore0.894
windowScore0.833
83.77% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences151
glossingSentenceCount4
matches
0"felt like a tiny electric shock"
1"looked like no one she was chasing and ex"
2"not quite a smile"
3"as if hoping to find caution there and save them both trouble"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount2548
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences252
matches
0"seen that night"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs99
mean25.74
std23.68
cv0.92
sampleLengths
059
125
277
38
462
513
69
748
821
96
109
1155
1232
137
144
1527
163
176
1853
1911
205
2159
2213
236
2470
2512
2632
275
2818
299
301
3138
329
3310
3473
3527
3610
3744
386
3966
4059
412
4239
4315
4462
459
4619
4755
4830
4965
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences237
matches
0"got poured"
1"been roofed"
42.40% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount10
totalVerbs423
matches
0"was thinking"
1"was following"
2"was following"
3"was already moving"
4"was holding"
5"was going"
6"was lying"
7"was chasing"
8"weren’t hurrying"
9"was disappearing"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount3
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences2
totalSentences252
ratio0.008
matches
0"There was a sound under the weather—metal unlocking deep inside the wall—and one section of the gate gave inward just enough for a body to slip through."
1"A sound went through the market then—a sudden rise and twist in the ambient noise, subtle but real."
81.09% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2401
adjectiveStacks2
stackExamples
0"moving over exposed nerves."
1"under soot-black arches,"
adverbCount115
adverbRatio0.04789670970428988
lyAdverbCount28
lyAdverbRatio0.011661807580174927
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences252
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences252
mean10.11
std7.52
cv0.744
sampleLengths
013
118
228
316
49
518
613
728
88
910
108
1125
1237
1313
149
156
1612
1716
1814
197
2014
211
225
239
2416
2524
2615
2716
282
292
3012
313
324
334
3427
353
366
373
387
3930
408
415
4211
435
444
455
4613
4710
484
494
64.29% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats13
diversityRatio0.4166666666666667
totalSentences252
uniqueOpeners105
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount12
totalSentences209
matches
0"Officially, she was following a"
1"Unofficially, she was following the"
2"Too many people entered and"
3"Too many names came up"
4"Then he ran."
5"Then the street came back"
6"Somewhere below, far enough to"
7"Then Morris’s face rose in"
8"Too crowded below, if the"
9"Then she saw the suspect."
10"Maybe late twenties."
11"More like filing her under"
ratio0.057
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount57
totalSentences209
matches
0"It hissed on pavement, drummed"
1"Her worn leather watch clung"
2"She’d been watching the Nest"
3"She still did not have"
4"Her phone vibrated once in"
5"She cut down the side"
6"He looked back once."
7"He was quick."
8"He vaulted a low chain"
9"Her pulse thudded steady and"
10"He knew where he was"
11"Her earpiece crackled with control"
12"He didn’t stop for it."
13"She scooped the object up"
14"She nearly dropped it."
15"He cut through a market"
16"Her left knee, the one"
17"She ignored that too."
18"He knew she wouldn’t shoot."
19"She didn’t spare them a"
ratio0.273
86.79% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount156
totalSentences209
matches
0"It hissed on pavement, drummed"
1"Detective Harlow Quinn stood across"
2"The bar’s green neon sign"
3"Quinn kept still in the"
4"Rain beaded on her closely"
5"Her worn leather watch clung"
6"She’d been watching the Nest"
7"She still did not have"
8"The Raven’s Nest had those"
9"The sort of place where"
10"Her phone vibrated once in"
11"A text from the constable"
12"Male exiting rear alley now."
13"Quinn was already moving before"
14"She cut down the side"
15"The alley behind the Nest"
16"Light spilled from a cracked"
17"A man was twenty yards"
18"He looked back once."
19"That was all she got:"
ratio0.746
71.77% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount3
totalSentences209
matches
0"To anyone glancing over, she"
1"If she walked away now,"
2"And, finally, a door that"
ratio0.014
75.19% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences95
technicalSentenceCount9
matches
0"Officially, she was following a money trail linked to stolen pharmaceuticals, assault, and two men who had vanished after asking the wrong questions in Camden."
1"Unofficially, she was following the same wrong feeling that had lived under her ribs for three years now, ever since Morris had died in an alley with no marks o…"
2"Too many names came up in witness statements that ended in shrugs, missing hours, impossible descriptions."
3"Then Morris’s face rose in her mind without warning: eyes open, rain on his lashes, mouth half parted as if he’d died trying to ask her what he’d just seen."
4"Three years of being careful had bought her paperwork, dead ends, and superiors who lowered their voices when they mentioned her."
5"A woman with silver rings stacked to her knuckles bartered over jars of something that glowed a poisonous blue."
6"People glanced, assessed, and dismissed her with the cool incuriosity of criminals who assumed anyone bold enough to walk in belonged there."
7"He looked like no one she was chasing and exactly like someone who knew better than to startle armed strangers in hidden markets."
8"Tomás searched her expression one last time, as if hoping to find caution there and save them both trouble."
75.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags10
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"He tipped, not quite a smile"
70.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags7
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Quinn barked (bark)"
1"One shouted (shout)"
dialogueSentences25
tagDensity0.28
leniency0.56
rawRatio0.286
effectiveRatio0.16
88.2717%