Run: 2026-03-09-01KKAC01R1ES942N8GZCKDQMHG

Run Details

Duration:
1m 49s
Cost:
$0.065507
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The stairs down to the disused platform smelled of wet stone, rust, and old electricity. Detective Harlow Quinn took them without touching the rail. Water ticked somewhere in the dark, a patient, metronomic drip. Her shoes struck the concrete with clipped, even sounds that bounced ahead of her and came back thin. At the foot of the staircase, a strip light had been rigged along the tiled wall and powered badly; it hummed and stuttered, washing the station in a sickly blue-white pulse that made every face look corpse-pale. Camden Southbound, the mosaic on the wall read, though this station had been closed for decades. Tonight it was crowded. Uniforms held the perimeter at the end of the platform, trying not to look at the things for sale on the stalls that remained half-packed and abandoned. A trestle table draped in black velvet held stoppered bottles full of swirling smoke. A wire cage near the tunnel mouth housed three white birds with human-looking eyes; they watched the officers without blinking. Strings of charms hung from a cracked advertisement board for a long-defunct West End revue. A market stall built from mismatched luggage trunks had spilled its contents over the platform edge—bundles of herbs, glass phials, a child's shoe with iron nails driven through the sole. Quinn took all of it in and gave none of it the dignity of surprise. Two constables glanced at her and straightened instinctively. She had that effect. Forty-one, sharp-jawed, shoulders squared by habit into military precision, closely cropped salt-and-pepper hair silvering under the bad lights. Her brown eyes moved quickly and missed very little. On her left wrist, the worn leather strap of her watch had darkened with age and sweat. She checked the time out of reflex more than need. 02:13. “Governor,” said DI Lyle Mercer, peeling away from the knot of officers near the body. He was broader than he used to be and wore his discomfort like a too-tight suit. “You found us, then.” “You did leave a trail,” Quinn said. Mercer gave a short laugh that died quickly. His eyes flicked toward the nearest stall, where a cracked mirror leaned against a crate and reflected the platform at an angle that made the crowd look one person too many. “Not my preferred venue, I’ll admit.” “No,” Quinn said. “Mine neither. Who’s dead?” Mercer passed over the initial notes. “Male. Mid-fifties, maybe sixty. No ID in any conventional sense. Pockets turned out. Market folk call him Gideon Vale. Dealer, broker, something in that line. We got an anonymous call—said there’d been a murder in an abandoned station beneath Camden. By the time uniforms found the entry, half this place had emptied.” “Anonymous.” “Voice scrambled, according to dispatch. Helpful enough to tell them they’d need a token to get in.” Quinn looked up. Beside the tunnel arch, someone had painted a pale ring on the brickwork in chalk or ash. Bone white. A uniformed constable stood uneasily beside it, as if worried it might move. “And did they?” Mercer opened his palm. A small disc lay there, yellow-white and porous, drilled through the center. Bone, all right, polished smooth from use. “Found this taped under the public phone box above stairs, exactly where the caller said it would be.” Quinn looked at the token, then at the platform again. “Convenient.” “That’s one word.” A movement at the edge of her vision drew her attention. A woman in a camel coat stood just outside the taped perimeter, clutching a worn leather satchel to her side. Curly red hair escaped the knot at the back of her neck; round glasses had slipped low on her freckled nose. She tucked a strand of hair behind her left ear when she saw Quinn looking. Eva Kowalski looked like she hadn’t slept and had dressed in a hurry. She also looked like she knew exactly where she was, which put her ahead of most of the police on the platform. Mercer saw Quinn’s gaze. “Your civilian consultant arrived before forensics, if you can believe that. Claimed she could identify some of the items before anyone poisoned themselves touching them.” “She’s not my consultant,” Quinn said. Eva raised her eyebrows. “You’re welcome, by the way.” Quinn ignored that for the moment and moved toward the body. The dead man lay on his back between two market stalls, one hand curled against his chest, the other flung toward the tracks. He was thin under a heavy dark coat, with a grey beard cut close and a long nose bent slightly left from an old break. His face had gone waxy. His eyes were open, fixed on the station ceiling. There was blood on his shirtfront, but not enough. That was Quinn’s first clear thought. Too little for a chest wound, if that dark bloom beneath the lapel was what it looked like. A SOCO photographer straightened from the body and stepped back for her. Quinn crouched. There it was: a puncture just below the sternum, neat as if made by an ice pick. Blood had seeped through the shirt, but the fabric wasn’t soaked. No cast-off. No arterial spray. Nothing on the hands. The fingers were clean except for a smear of soot under the ring finger of the left hand. “Time of death?” she asked. “ME says rough estimate between eleven and one,” Mercer said. “Pending proper exam.” Quinn leaned closer. The dead man’s coat smelled faintly of cloves and something metallic, like hot coins. There were abrasions on the right knuckles, recent. A crescent of grime beneath the thumbnail. His boots were expensive and polished, but the soles were dusted with pale grit, almost glittering in the intermittent light. She looked around the ground immediately surrounding the body. Plenty of foot traffic since death, not ideal. Still—there. A broken circle of dark residue on the platform, partly smeared by passing shoes. It ran beneath the body and out toward the stall on the left. Not blood. Powder of some kind. She glanced up. The stall’s signboard, painted in flaking gilt, read CARTOGRAPHIES & DIVINATIONS. Behind it, drawers stood open. Shelves had been swept bare in a hurry, but one object remained on the velvet cloth as if forgotten or overlooked: a small brass compass, greened by verdigris at the hinge, its face etched with tiny sigils instead of numbers. Quinn felt Eva come to stand beside her before the younger woman spoke. “Don’t touch that with bare skin,” Eva said quietly. Mercer, hearing her, snorted. “Because it’s cursed?” “Because if it’s what I think it is, it’s valuable, temperamental, and probably attuned to whoever handled it last.” Quinn held out a hand without looking. A nitrile glove was placed into it immediately by the SOCO. She pulled it on. “What do you think it is?” Eva shifted the satchel higher on her shoulder. “Veil Compass. They’re made here, or sold here at least. Brass casing, sigils on the face, points toward the nearest rift. Sometimes portal, sometimes breach. Depends how unstable the local geography is.” Mercer gave her a long, tired look. “A magic compass.” Eva met it with irritating calm. “A supernatural one, yes.” Quinn picked up the compass carefully. It was colder than the air around it. The needle spun once, hard enough to click against the glass, then steadied—not north, but down the platform toward the sealed maintenance door near the old signal room. Interesting. “It should be rotating if there are too many active signatures here,” Eva murmured. “Unless—” “Unless what?” “Unless whatever it’s pointing to is stronger.” Mercer folded his arms. “Or unless it’s a fake trinket in a place full of lunatics and smugglers.” Quinn stood. “Then why leave it?” Mercer shrugged. “Dropped in the panic. Killer grabs what matters, leaves the rubbish. Victim catches a blade over a debt or a deal gone bad. Black market rules, black market outcome.” It was clean. Too clean. A useful theory because it required no one in the Metropolitan Police to say aloud that half the evidence on this platform made ordinary sense buckle in the middle. Quinn turned slowly, taking in the geometry of the scene. The body between the stalls. The broken ring of dark powder. The compass left behind. No sign of a prolonged struggle except the split knuckles. The victim’s pockets turned out too neatly, almost performative. Nearby, an upended stool lay on its side, but the dust beneath one leg remained undisturbed; it had been placed there after the fact, not knocked over in a fight. A string of black candles on the neighboring table had burned down evenly and gone cold hours ago. One candle alone had a fresh break in the wax. The wick had been pinched, not extinguished by airflow. Her eyes dropped to the dead man’s left hand again. Soot under one finger. Not from the wound. From touching a wick. “Who found him?” she asked. Mercer checked his notes. “A vendor. Says he came back after the panic to get his stock and found Vale on the floor. Name given as Petru Miro. No fixed address. Interview’s not gone far.” “Where is he?” “Upstairs with uniforms.” Quinn nodded but didn’t move. Her gaze stayed on the body, then shifted to the maintenance door the compass favored. It was fifty feet away, painted railway green gone black with age. A chain hung from the handle. The padlock looked old. Too old. The metal around the hasp was bright where it shouldn’t have been. Someone had opened it recently. Eva saw where she was looking. “That door wasn’t part of the market when I was last down here.” Mercer made a face. “You say that as if this is Tesco rearranging the produce.” Eva ignored him. “The market moves every full moon. Everyone who works here knows the layout changes. But some thresholds stay. They hide them behind ordinary architecture.” Quinn glanced at her. “You’ve been here before.” Eva hesitated. Her left hand rose automatically to tuck hair behind her ear. “Research.” “Of course.” Mercer muttered, “Convenient again.” Quinn crossed to the maintenance door. Officers shifted aside. Up close, the chain had been looped back through the handle to mimic being locked. The padlock itself was snapped internally; someone had closed it over nothing. Theatre, same as the emptied pockets. She crouched and studied the dust at the threshold. Most of the platform was damp enough that footprints blurred quickly, but the inch beneath the door was dry. On it, preserved with accidental clarity, were three impressions laid over one another. The victim’s boot sole, with its distinctive half-moon wear at the outer heel. A second print, smaller and deeper on the toe, from someone who pivoted sharply while carrying weight. And a third mark that wasn’t a shoe at all—a narrow line drawn in a curve, as if something metal-tipped had been dragged or used as a cane. “Mercer.” He came over. “What?” “Your robbery doesn’t walk the victim to a locked door after killing him.” Mercer frowned. “Could’ve happened the other way around. Argument at the door, stab there, body moved.” “No drag marks.” Quinn pointed. “And if he’d bled there, we’d have transfer on the threshold. We don’t.” She straightened and held out the compass. The needle still pointed unwaveringly at the door. Eva had gone very still. “If that’s a Veil Compass, it shouldn’t lock onto a wall unless there’s a breach behind it.” Mercer scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “Let’s say, for one breathtaking moment, I entertain all this. Why would a dead market broker be messing with a breach?” “Because he sold access,” Eva said. “Information, routes, things like that. If Gideon Vale brokered passages, a compass like that would be useful.” Quinn considered the puncture wound again. Neat, low, controlled. Not rage. Not panic. Something efficient. Up close. The bruising around it looked odd—not impact bruising radiating out, but a faint dark halo as if the tissue had discolored before death. She filed that away. “What about the powder around the body?” she asked. Eva knelt near the smeared ring but didn’t touch it. “Not gunpowder. Not ash. It looks like ground rowan bark and iron filings. A warding mix, maybe. Or part of one.” “Part of one?” “The circle’s incomplete.” Quinn’s attention sharpened. “Incomplete because it was smudged?” Eva leaned closer, glasses catching the light. “No. Incomplete because it was never finished. See the spacing? Whoever laid it stopped there and restarted badly on the opposite side. That’s not accidental scuffing. That’s interruption.” Mercer let out a breath through his nose. “All right. Let’s pretend our victim was drawing a protective circle and got interrupted by his killer.” “Not his killer,” Quinn said. Both of them looked at her. She turned the thought over once more, testing it against what lay in front of her. “If Vale was attacked while making the circle, the powder tin or pouch should be near him. It isn’t. If he was robbed, the compass goes with the killer. It didn’t. If this was market business, somebody stages a warning openly. But the staging here is sloppy. Pockets emptied for show. Stool dropped in the wrong dust. Door meant to look sealed when it isn’t.” Mercer’s expression hardened into skepticism, but he stayed quiet. Quinn went back to the body and looked at the left hand. The soot. She followed the line of sight from the body’s open eyes. Not to the ceiling after all. Slightly angled. Toward the neighboring table with the candles. She moved there. Eight black candles in a rack. Seven burned down evenly. One had been lit later than the others; its wax had run a shorter distance before being pinched out. Beside the rack lay a box of lucifers and a shallow brass dish lined with grit. In the dish sat a smear where something small and circular had rested until recently. The compass. She looked back at the body. Vale had lit the single candle after the others had already burned. Then handled the compass. Then moved—or been moved—into the half-made ward. Not random. Sequence. “What if he wasn’t trying to protect himself,” Quinn said. Eva’s green eyes narrowed behind the glasses. “What then?” “He was trying to locate something first.” Quinn held up the compass. “Uses this, gets a reading. Lights a candle—not for atmosphere. As a timer? A signal? Something that needed to burn while he worked. Starts a circle once he knows where the breach is. Gets interrupted before he can finish it.” Mercer said, “By whom?” Quinn looked at the maintenance door. “Maybe by whoever came through.” The platform seemed to contract around that sentence. Even Mercer glanced toward the door despite himself. A constable at the far end coughed. One of the white birds in the cage began to beat its wings frantically, claws scraping wire. Quinn walked back to the threshold. “There’s one more thing.” She pointed to the victim’s overlapping boot print. “Vale approached the door twice. See the wear pattern? First set goes up clean. Second set returns at a shorter stride, heel striking harder. He was backing away or being forced back. The smaller print meets him here.” She tapped the dry dust near the threshold. “Then pivots. Not retreating—turning sideways to let someone pass.” Mercer stared at the marks as if willing them to rearrange themselves into something easier. “How can you tell that from this?” “Because the toe digs in and the heel is light. Weight forward. Controlled movement.” Quinn paused. “And because there are no corresponding exit prints from that second person.” Silence. Mercer looked up slowly. “You’re saying they vanished.” “I’m saying they did not leave by this platform.” Eva’s voice had gone thin. “The compass is still active.” Quinn watched the needle. It trembled once, then steadied again with almost stubborn certainty at the door. She held out her hand. “Crowbar.” An officer produced one from the scene kit, uncertain but obedient. Mercer opened his mouth, then shut it. Whatever protest he had clearly couldn’t decide whether it was about procedure or the possibility that procedure had already left the station. Quinn slid the claw between the door and frame where old paint had cracked around fresher damage. She put her shoulder into it. The wood groaned. Rust spat from the hinges. Then the door jerked inward three inches and stopped against something soft. Not soft. Weighted. Mercer swore under his breath. Together, he and Quinn forced the gap wider. A smell came out first, cold and mineral and wrong, like air from a cave that had never met daylight. Then the obstruction shifted and slumped. A second body folded into view from behind the door. It was a woman in a dark coat, younger than Vale by twenty years, her throat bruised in a livid band. One hand was clenched tight around a torn leather cord. At the end of it hung a bone token, split clean through. In her other fist she held a fistful of grey powder. Not a witness hidden. Not a killer escaping. A victim no one had even known to count. Mercer went pale under the station lights. “Jesus.” “No,” Eva whispered, staring past the body into the narrow dark beyond. “Not that.” Quinn barely heard her. Her eyes had fixed on the wall inside the maintenance room. Someone had scored a circle there in deep, frantic gouges. A real one this time, not incomplete. Inside the circle, in the brick dust and old mortar, there were ten bloody fingerprints where someone had pressed both hands flat against the center of the wall as if trying to hold it shut. The bricks within the ring were blackened, but not by fire. They bulged outward slightly, breathing almost too subtly to see. Quinn’s grip tightened on the crowbar until the tendons stood out in her wrist. The evidence hadn’t failed to add up. It had been trying, in its own ugly way, to warn them that they were counting the wrong crime.
created_at"2026-03-09T22:38:00.459Z" 3/9/2026, 10:38:00 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency11765
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time109207
tokens_prompt923
tokens_completion5129
native_tokens_prompt835
native_tokens_completion4228
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning307
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0655075
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_08f6e01e67a8ca4e0169af4bc955e0819496feec3b958f47bc"
is_byokfalse
latency1025
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773095880-Gnf6cFE3qRDfZodr1dgq"
upstream_id"resp_08f6e01e67a8ca4e0169af4bc955e0819496feec3b958f47bc"
total_cost0.0655075
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags20
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Eva said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences82
tagDensity0.244
leniency0.488
rawRatio0.05
effectiveRatio0.024
80.17% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3025
totalAiIsmAdverbs12
found
0
adverb"quickly"
count3
1
adverb"very"
count2
2
adverb"slightly"
count3
3
adverb"carefully"
count1
4
adverb"slowly"
count2
5
adverb"sharply"
count1
highlights
0"quickly"
1"very"
2"slightly"
3"carefully"
4"slowly"
5"sharply"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
81.82% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3025
totalAiIsms11
found
0
word"pulse"
count1
1
word"mosaic"
count1
2
word"velvet"
count2
3
word"flicked"
count1
4
word"etched"
count1
5
word"weight"
count2
6
word"efficient"
count1
7
word"silence"
count1
8
word"trembled"
count1
highlights
0"pulse"
1"mosaic"
2"velvet"
3"flicked"
4"etched"
5"weight"
6"efficient"
7"silence"
8"trembled"
66.67% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow2
found
0
label"let out a breath"
count1
1
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
highlights
0"let out a breath"
1"eyes narrowed"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences238
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount3
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences238
filterMatches
0"look"
1"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"began to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences300
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen68
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3015
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions28
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
50.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions92
wordCount2185
uniqueNames14
maxNameDensity1.65
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity3.5
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Harlow1
Quinn36
Southbound1
West1
End1
Lyle1
Mercer24
Kowalski1
Eva17
Metropolitan1
Police1
Silence1
Vale2
One4
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Lyle"
3"Mercer"
4"Kowalski"
5"Eva"
6"Vale"
7"One"
places
0"West"
1"End"
2"Metropolitan"
globalScore0.676
windowScore0.5
65.54% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences148
glossingSentenceCount5
matches
0"looked like she hadn’t slept and had dres"
1"looked like she knew exactly where she wa"
2"looked like"
3"as if willing them to rearrange themselves into something easier"
4"as if trying to hold it shut"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.663
wordCount3015
matches
0"not north, but down the platform toward the sealed maintenance door near th"
1"not impact bruising radiating out, but a faint dark halo as if the tissue had discolored before dea"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences300
matches
0"had that effect"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs128
mean23.55
std22.99
cv0.976
sampleLengths
015
174
216
34
4106
515
667
735
87
945
107
1158
121
1317
1435
153
1641
1711
183
1967
2035
2129
226
239
2411
2595
2614
2755
285
2913
3052
3154
3256
3313
349
357
3619
3728
3840
3910
4010
4142
421
4315
442
457
4618
476
4831
4934
84.62% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount14
totalSentences238
matches
0"been rigged"
1"been closed"
2"were dusted"
3"been swept"
4"was placed"
5"been placed"
6"been pinched"
7"been looped"
8"was snapped"
9"been dragged"
10"been lit"
11"being pinched"
12"been moved"
13"was clenched"
14"were blackened"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount2
totalVerbs374
matches
0"was looking"
1"were counting"
28.57% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount7
semicolonCount6
flaggedSentences12
totalSentences300
ratio0.04
matches
0"At the foot of the staircase, a strip light had been rigged along the tiled wall and powered badly; it hummed and stuttered, washing the station in a sickly blue-white pulse that made every face look corpse-pale."
1"A wire cage near the tunnel mouth housed three white birds with human-looking eyes; they watched the officers without blinking."
2"A market stall built from mismatched luggage trunks had spilled its contents over the platform edge—bundles of herbs, glass phials, a child's shoe with iron nails driven through the sole."
3"Curly red hair escaped the knot at the back of her neck; round glasses had slipped low on her freckled nose."
4"Still—there."
5"The needle spun once, hard enough to click against the glass, then steadied—not north, but down the platform toward the sealed maintenance door near the old signal room."
6"Nearby, an upended stool lay on its side, but the dust beneath one leg remained undisturbed; it had been placed there after the fact, not knocked over in a fight."
7"The padlock itself was snapped internally; someone had closed it over nothing."
8"And a third mark that wasn’t a shoe at all—a narrow line drawn in a curve, as if something metal-tipped had been dragged or used as a cane."
9"The bruising around it looked odd—not impact bruising radiating out, but a faint dark halo as if the tissue had discolored before death."
10"One had been lit later than the others; its wax had run a shorter distance before being pinched out."
11"Then moved—or been moved—into the half-made ward."
92.13% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2207
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"sickly blue-white pulse"
adverbCount93
adverbRatio0.042138649750792935
lyAdverbCount35
lyAdverbRatio0.0158586316266425
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences300
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences300
mean10.05
std8.83
cv0.878
sampleLengths
015
19
210
318
437
516
64
727
814
920
1015
1130
1215
138
144
1518
169
1717
1810
191
2015
2116
224
237
248
2531
266
273
284
296
3052
311
3217
333
3417
352
3613
373
384
3912
407
4118
4210
431
443
4511
4620
4721
4815
4913
53.07% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats13
diversityRatio0.34448160535117056
totalSentences299
uniqueOpeners103
84.18% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount5
totalSentences198
matches
0"Too little for a chest"
1"Then handled the compass."
2"Then moved—or been moved—into the"
3"Then the door jerked inward"
4"Then the obstruction shifted and"
ratio0.025
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount39
totalSentences198
matches
0"Her shoes struck the concrete"
1"She had that effect."
2"Her brown eyes moved quickly"
3"She checked the time out"
4"He was broader than he"
5"His eyes flicked toward the"
6"She tucked a strand of"
7"She also looked like she"
8"He was thin under a"
9"His face had gone waxy."
10"His eyes were open, fixed"
11"His boots were expensive and"
12"She looked around the ground"
13"It ran beneath the body"
14"She glanced up."
15"She pulled it on."
16"It was colder than the"
17"It was clean."
18"Her eyes dropped to the"
19"Her gaze stayed on the"
ratio0.197
71.11% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount154
totalSentences198
matches
0"The stairs down to the"
1"Detective Harlow Quinn took them"
2"Water ticked somewhere in the"
3"Her shoes struck the concrete"
4"Camden Southbound, the mosaic on"
5"Tonight it was crowded."
6"Uniforms held the perimeter at"
7"A trestle table draped in"
8"A wire cage near the"
9"Strings of charms hung from"
10"A market stall built from"
11"Quinn took all of it"
12"She had that effect."
13"Her brown eyes moved quickly"
14"She checked the time out"
15"He was broader than he"
16"Mercer gave a short laugh"
17"His eyes flicked toward the"
18"Mercer passed over the initial"
19"Quinn looked up."
ratio0.778
25.25% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences198
matches
0"Even Mercer glanced toward the"
ratio0.005
80.06% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences91
technicalSentenceCount8
matches
0"At the foot of the staircase, a strip light had been rigged along the tiled wall and powered badly; it hummed and stuttered, washing the station in a sickly blu…"
1"Uniforms held the perimeter at the end of the platform, trying not to look at the things for sale on the stalls that remained half-packed and abandoned."
2"His eyes flicked toward the nearest stall, where a cracked mirror leaned against a crate and reflected the platform at an angle that made the crowd look one per…"
3"Shelves had been swept bare in a hurry, but one object remained on the velvet cloth as if forgotten or overlooked: a small brass compass, greened by verdigris a…"
4"And a third mark that wasn’t a shoe at all—a narrow line drawn in a curve, as if something metal-tipped had been dragged or used as a cane."
5"The bruising around it looked odd—not impact bruising radiating out, but a faint dark halo as if the tissue had discolored before death."
6"Mercer stared at the marks as if willing them to rearrange themselves into something easier."
7"Inside the circle, in the brick dust and old mortar, there were ten bloody fingerprints where someone had pressed both hands flat against the center of the wall…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags20
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags16
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"Eva murmured (murmur)"
1"Mercer muttered (mutter)"
2"Eva whispered (whisper)"
dialogueSentences82
tagDensity0.195
leniency0.39
rawRatio0.188
effectiveRatio0.073
85.4394%