Run: 2026-03-09-01KKACCN6ES3TEP8GVPTS2MGZ2

Run Details

Duration:
1m 32s
Cost:
$0.055653
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4414" name="Eva Kowalski" aliases="Eva, Evie" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Best Friend"> <eyeColor>green</eyeColor> <hair>curly red</hair> <height>5'4"</height> <age>26</age> <glasses>round glasses</glasses> <satchel>worn leather satchel full of books</satchel> <freckles>freckled complexion</freckles> <nervousHabit>tucking hair behind her left ear</nervousHabit> <description>Aurora's childhood friend and an occult researcher.</description> <backstory>Moved to London two years before Aurora and works as a research assistant at the British Museum's restricted archives. She holds a master's degree in Ancient History from Oxford.</backstory> </character> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> <item id="2004" name="Veil Compass" aliases="the Compass, shadow compass" type="Tool" origin="The Veil Market"> <casingMaterial>small brass compass</casingMaterial> <faceMarkings>face etched with protective sigils</faceMarkings> <needle>points toward the nearest supernatural rift or portal</needle> <patina>casing has a patina of verdigris</patina> <creator>crafted by a Shade artisan</creator> <description>A compass attuned to supernatural energy.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the mystery genre. A detective arrives at a crime scene in an unusual location. Something is wrong — the evidence doesn't add up. A colleague is present, offering a different interpretation. Through careful observation and deduction, the detective begins to see what others have missed. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
By the time Quinn reached the bottom of the spiral service stairs, the city had thinned to old damp and the metallic taste of underground air. The station had been dead for decades. The tiled walls were nicotine-yellow under portable floodlamps, and the old enamel signs for CAMDEN TOWN hung crooked above arches bricked up long ago. Water ticked somewhere in the dark with maddening regularity. The abandoned platform had been transformed overnight into something halfway between a bazaar and a battlefield. Canvas awnings slumped over trestle tables. Crates had split open across the platform edge, spilling out glass vials, bundles of dried herbs, tarnished silver charms, and things Quinn did not have names for. One display cabinet had shattered so completely the safety glass looked powdered. Dark stains marked the concrete in long slick fans. Blood, some of it. Some of it not. Uniforms had strung blue-and-white tape between rusting pillars. A handful of forensic techs worked the scene in white coveralls, heads bent, voices low. Nobody liked enclosed spaces with one way out. The fact that this place had three hidden exits already irritated Quinn on principle. She ducked under the tape, her boots crunching over grit and broken ceramic. Her leather watch sat snug against her left wrist, its worn strap darkened by years of sweat and rain. She checked the time out of habit, though underground it meant very little. “Morning, guv.” DI Paul Berrick stood near the body with a paper cup in one hand and his coat collar turned up against the chill. He was broad and pink-faced and looked as if he had been born suspicious of poetry and anything that didn’t fit in a report. Quinn had worked with him long enough to know his first interpretation of any unusual scene would be the least imaginative available. “Don’t call it morning until I’ve seen the dead man,” Quinn said. Berrick gave a humorless smile. “Fair enough.” The victim lay on his back beside the old tracks, one arm flung over his head, fingers curled in a claw. Male, maybe fifties. Thin. Grey stubble. His expensive coat had been turned out at the pockets, though there was a watch still on his wrist and a heavy ring on one hand. No obvious gunshot wound. No knife handle protruding. His eyes were open and clouding, fixed on the soot-black ceiling. Quinn crouched beside him. Even with eighteen years in, the first look was always a negotiation between discipline and instinct. She saw the details before she saw the person. Pale skin with a faint waxy cast. Burst capillaries around the eyes. Lips tinted blue. There was bruising at the throat, yes, but not enough for a straightforward strangulation. The nails on his right hand were packed with black residue, as if he had clawed at dirt or ash in the last seconds of his life. “ID?” she asked. “Nothing on him,” Berrick said. “No wallet. No phone. We’ve got latent prints from a stall nearby and from the victim’s right cuff. Waiting on results. Initial thought is robbery gone wrong. Black-market setup, somebody gets greedy, somebody dies.” Quinn glanced at him. “You sound very pleased with how simple that is.” “It’s a crime scene, Quinn, not a séance.” She ignored that. “Who found him?” “Transport engineers doing a survey up top heard noise through a service hatch around six. Came down with security and found this lot. No one else on scene.” This lot. Quinn let her gaze travel the platform. It was too organized for common thieves and too chaotic for a straightforward market. Stalls had been arranged in concentric rows around the center of the platform, leaving a clear aisle through the middle. Not random. Deliberate. Some tables had handwritten placards in chalk. Others held locked cases with velvet-lined interiors. One case was empty except for fine brass filings glittering under the floodlamp. Something brushed the edge of memory and was gone. She stood and moved slowly, military straight, hands in her coat pockets so nobody would mistake observation for contamination. Her sharp jaw tightened as she took in the nearest stall. Glass phials nestled in straw, each stoppered with wax of different colors. A set of animal bones had been polished and drilled for stringing. A tray of old coins sat beside a jar full of what looked disturbingly like baby teeth. “Have we established what this place was?” she asked. Berrick made a vague circle with his coffee cup. “Illegal market. Drugs, occult tat, maybe antiquities. Camden attracts every stripe.” “Occult tat,” Quinn repeated. He shrugged. “What would you call it?” She crouched beside a toppled crate. Not drugs. Not unless London had discovered a profitable new narcotics trade in dried black petals that smoked faintly in the cold and left frost blooming across the wood. One of the techs had wisely marked the crate and backed away from it. Good. At least someone here possessed caution. “You said robbery,” Quinn said. “What was taken?” Berrick hesitated half a beat. “One of the uniforms found a witness. Sort of.” “That inspires confidence.” “Homeless man sleeping in a maintenance tunnel. Swears he heard shouting around three. Said people were arguing over a compass.” Quinn looked up. “A compass,” Berrick repeated with a smirk that suggested he knew exactly how absurd it sounded. “Then a scream, then everyone running. By the time he came out, the station was empty except for our friend here.” “A compass valuable enough to kill for?” “Collectors kill each other over whisky and football stickers. Why not a compass?” Because the smashed display case had brass filings in it. Because one table still held a square of dark velvet with a clean compass-shaped void at its center. Because one of the chalk placards read only VEIL ORIENTATIONS, two words that meant nothing and still made the skin at the back of Quinn’s neck pull tight. She kept walking. At the far end of the platform an old advertising board had been repurposed as a notice wall. Dozens of scraps were pinned to it: names, symbols, meeting times, crude maps, prices. Most were nonsense at first glance. One was a sketched eye inside a doorway. Another listed moon phases beside neighborhoods. A third bore a single line in a neat academic hand: Entry by bone token only. Quinn stared at that one a second too long. Three years ago, Morris had died in a warehouse in Poplar with all the doors locked from the inside and a bone disc in his coat pocket that had vanished from evidence before she could send it to the lab. Three years later she still saw the disc in dreams sometimes, smooth and cream-colored and carved with lines too precise to be decorative. She had never put it in a report. She had enjoyed her career and had no desire to be retired on psychiatric grounds. “Guv?” One of the forensic techs approached carefully. Young woman, Patel, competent. She held up a clear evidence sleeve. Inside lay a brass compass no bigger than Quinn’s palm, greened with verdigris along the hinge and rim. Sigils had been etched into the face in tiny, interlocking lines. Not taken after all. “Found under the victim,” Patel said. “Tucked beneath the lower back. Probably missed initially because of the coat. Needle’s damaged, but…” She frowned down at it. “Funny thing is, it keeps twitching.” Berrick snorted. “Cheap novelty.” Patel didn’t look convinced. Neither was Quinn. She took the bag, careful not to touch the object itself. The compass had weight even through the plastic, as if the brass were denser than it should be. The needle shivered, swung east, then snapped south so sharply it tapped the glass with a tiny metallic click. “Battery in it?” Quinn asked. “It’s mechanical,” Patel said. “No electronics I can see.” Berrick peered over her shoulder. “There’s your motive, then. Fancy antique. Victim steals it, owner throttles him, market scatters. Nice and tidy.” Quinn kept her eyes on the compass. “If he stole it, why is it hidden under him?” “Fell there in the struggle.” “Then why are his hands burned?” That shut Berrick up for a moment. She handed the evidence sleeve back to Patel and returned to the body. This time she looked harder at the victim’s right hand. Not burned exactly. The skin across two fingers had blistered in narrow bands, like contact with a hot wire. On the left cuff there were tiny green smears that matched the verdigris on the compass casing. He had held it. Recently and tightly. His thumb pad was cut, a fresh crescent where metal had bitten through skin. Quinn leaned closer to his face. There, on the right side of the neck beneath the bruising, was a mark she’d nearly missed before: three punctures in a small triangular arrangement. Not deep enough for teeth. More like… a clasp? A pronged instrument? “Photograph this,” she said. Patel was already kneeling. Berrick shifted beside her. “Could still be from a struggle.” “Could,” Quinn said. “Then explain the rest.” He spread his hands. “Crowded illegal market. Seller and buyer disagree. Victim pockets the item. Seller grabs him. Others panic and flee when it turns violent.” “Seller leaves all the cash, all the stock, and every witness vanishes in under three minutes through exits no one can find.” Berrick’s jaw tightened. “You’ve got a better idea?” Quinn straightened. “Not yet. But yours insults everyone involved.” She stepped off the platform and onto the tracks, ignoring the protest from one of the uniforms. The rails were dead, thick with rust, but the gravel bed between them had been disturbed. Drag marks. Several sets of prints crossing one another. One deep heel strike as if someone had stumbled hard. And there, snagged on a spike, a strip of red thread. Not thread. Wool from a scarf perhaps. She bent closer. Fine curly fibers. Bright, almost copper under the lamp. “Bag this,” she called without looking up. Patel came down with another marker. “Could belong to anyone.” “Could.” Twenty feet farther along, at the mouth of a maintenance alcove, the air changed. Colder. Not draft-cold. A sealed, underground place shouldn’t have any moving air at all, yet something touched the skin of her face like the exhale of an opening door. The hairs on her forearm lifted. The compass, still in Patel’s evidence sleeve, gave a frantic rattle. Everybody heard it. Berrick looked around irritably. “What now?” Quinn took the bag back and watched the needle spin. It did not settle north. It pulled relentlessly toward the maintenance alcove: a low brick opening half-concealed by a fallen sheet of corrugated metal and a tangle of old electrical conduit. “There,” she said. Berrick laughed once. “At what? A wall?” “At an access point somebody doesn’t want found.” She climbed into the alcove before he could stop her. The passage beyond was only shoulder-wide, clogged with dust and brick fragments, but someone had been through recently. The dust had been smeared away in a broad curve about knee-height, as if large objects had been carried. The wall to her right bore scratches, fresh and pale against the soot. Then her light caught chalk. A symbol had been drawn on the brickwork and partly wiped away by a panicked hand: a circle broken by three vertical strokes. Beneath it, in hurried script, one word. Veil. Quinn’s stomach gave a small, cold turn. “Quinn,” Berrick said behind her, his voice losing some of its certainty, “what exactly am I looking at?” She didn’t answer at once. Her mind was moving too fast, fitting pieces that did not belong in any official puzzle she had ever been handed. The market below Camden. Entry by bone token. The impossible dispersal. The witness hearing a fight over the compass. The hidden passage. The dead man with burst vessels in the eyes and a grip burn from a brass instrument that behaved like an animal scenting prey. Not robbery gone wrong. Not ordinary smugglers either. The victim had taken the compass or been given it. He had run. Someone had tried to stop him, yes, but not to reclaim a trinket. The bruising on his throat was secondary, clumsy, maybe from someone trying to restrain him. The real damage had come first. Those punctures in the neck, the asphyxial signs, the black residue under his nails. He had been clawing at something he couldn’t breathe through. Dust? Smoke? No. Something finer. She swept her torch lower. In the corner of the alcove lay a drift of black particulate so delicate it shifted though no train had passed in forty years. Ash, she thought at first. Then she saw the pattern cut through it: the unmistakable impress of fingers, ten furrows, and one final drag line leading back toward the platform. He had crawled out of here. Patel leaned past Berrick, eyes narrowed behind her visor. “If he was attacked in the passage, why end up by the tracks?” “He was trying to get into the open,” Quinn said. “To escape what?” The answer came before she was ready for it. “Not what,” she said quietly. “Where.” The word settled in the cold air between them. Berrick gave her a look that mixed annoyance and unease. “I’m going to need that translated into English.” Quinn turned, the beam from her torch slicing across the cramped brick walls. In this close light Berrick looked older, his skepticism beginning to fray at the edges. Good. Doubt was healthier than certainty in places like this. “The market didn’t just scatter,” she said. “It folded up and moved. Fast. Whoever ran this place had routes out that aren’t on any station plan. The victim made for one of them with that compass. Either he thought it would lead him to an exit, or it did. Then something happened in this passage. He comes back out burned, half-strangled, pockets turned because someone searched him after the fact, and the compass ends up hidden under his body.” Patel glanced at the evidence bag. The needle still strained at the alcove. Berrick crossed his arms. “And the hidden passages are what, exactly? Smuggler tunnels?” Quinn looked once more at the chalked word on the brick. Three years ago Morris had died with confusion frozen on his face and no air in his lungs, though the coroner swore there had been nothing in them but trace soot. Three years she had carried that impossible report like grit under the skin. Now she was standing in another buried place that smelled wrong, with a dead stranger, a twitching compass, and evidence that refused to behave like evidence. “Find me every map ever drawn of this station,” she said. “Original construction, wartime modifications, utility surveys, all of it. Get canvass expanded to the street-level businesses above. And nobody touches this passage until I say so.” “That’s not an explanation.” “No,” Quinn said. Her brown eyes stayed on the darkness beyond the alcove, where the torchlight seemed to thin too quickly, as though the tunnel swallowed more than illumination. “It’s the point where I stop pretending this scene makes sense on your terms.” For a second no one moved. Water dripped somewhere in the station. Farther down the abandoned platform, glass tinkled as if nudged by a passing foot, though every officer in sight was standing still. Quinn felt the old, unwelcome certainty settle into place. Something had opened here last night. Something the others would call nonsense until it killed again. She extended a hand for the evidence bag. Patel passed it over without argument. Quinn watched the compass needle lock on the dark and hold there, unwavering now, as faithful as a hound on scent. “What is it?” Patel asked softly. Quinn closed her fingers around the plastic and listened to the station breathe. “It’s a direction,” she said. “And I think the dead man was trying to tell us where the real crime scene is.”
created_at"2026-03-09T22:44:53.592Z" 3/9/2026, 10:44:53 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency5878
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time92221
tokens_prompt923
tokens_completion4394
native_tokens_prompt835
native_tokens_completion3571
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning136
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0556525
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_02701345ea3d1c4b0169af4d65a8d08195999650bfac5e526e"
is_byokfalse
latency217
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773096293-HboqtABsWa4CzuAVDBCN"
upstream_id"resp_02701345ea3d1c4b0169af4d65a8d08195999650bfac5e526e"
total_cost0.0556525
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags23
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"she said quietly [quietly]"
1"Patel asked softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences68
tagDensity0.338
leniency0.676
rawRatio0.087
effectiveRatio0.059
83.15% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2671
totalAiIsmAdverbs9
found
0
adverb"completely"
count1
1
adverb"very"
count2
2
adverb"slowly"
count1
3
adverb"carefully"
count1
4
adverb"sharply"
count1
5
adverb"tightly"
count1
6
adverb"quickly"
count1
7
adverb"softly"
count1
highlights
0"completely"
1"very"
2"slowly"
3"carefully"
4"sharply"
5"tightly"
6"quickly"
7"softly"
80.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found
0"Patel"
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
79.41% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2671
totalAiIsms11
found
0
word"shattered"
count1
1
word"chill"
count1
2
word"chaotic"
count1
3
word"velvet"
count2
4
word"desire"
count1
5
word"etched"
count1
6
word"weight"
count1
7
word"mechanical"
count1
8
word"stomach"
count1
9
word"unwavering"
count1
highlights
0"shattered"
1"chill"
2"chaotic"
3"velvet"
4"desire"
5"etched"
6"weight"
7"mechanical"
8"stomach"
9"unwavering"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
highlights
0"eyes narrowed"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences222
matches
0"d with confusion"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences222
filterMatches
0"watch"
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences267
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen73
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2671
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions28
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
80.72% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions77
wordCount2093
uniqueNames11
maxNameDensity1.39
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Quinn29
Paul1
Berrick18
London1
Entry2
Morris2
Poplar1
Patel12
Camden1
One6
Three4
persons
0"Quinn"
1"Paul"
2"Berrick"
3"Morris"
4"Patel"
5"Three"
places
0"London"
1"Poplar"
2"One"
globalScore0.807
windowScore0.833
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences132
glossingSentenceCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches0
per1kWords0
wordCount2671
matches(empty)
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences267
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs111
mean24.06
std23.45
cv0.974
sampleLengths
026
156
262
345
445
52
669
712
87
972
1085
113
1239
1313
148
156
1628
179
1864
199
2071
219
2220
234
247
2556
268
2714
283
2920
303
3137
327
3313
3456
353
3668
379
3886
391
4047
414
4232
434
447
4548
465
479
4822
4917
83.14% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount14
totalSentences222
matches
0"been transformed"
1"been turned"
2"were packed"
3"been arranged"
4"was gone"
5"been polished"
6"been repurposed"
7"were pinned"
8"been etched"
9"been disturbed"
10"been smeared"
11"been carried"
12"been drawn"
13"been handed"
14"been given"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount3
totalVerbs323
matches
0"was already kneeling"
1"was standing"
2"was standing"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount0
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences0
totalSentences267
ratio0
matches(empty)
88.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2105
adjectiveStacks2
stackExamples
0"nicotine-yellow under portable floodlamps,"
1"clean compass-shaped void"
adverbCount69
adverbRatio0.0327790973871734
lyAdverbCount23
lyAdverbRatio0.010926365795724466
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences267
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences267
mean10
std8.43
cv0.843
sampleLengths
026
17
224
39
416
56
627
712
89
94
104
118
1215
138
1414
1513
1619
1713
182
1923
2024
2122
2212
235
242
2521
263
271
282
2926
304
314
3211
334
3416
359
367
375
383
3914
4027
413
425
4334
444
459
468
473
483
4928
57.43% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats25
diversityRatio0.40074906367041196
totalSentences267
uniqueOpeners107
72.86% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount4
totalSentences183
matches
0"At least someone here possessed"
1"Recently and tightly."
2"Then her light caught chalk."
3"Then she saw the pattern"
ratio0.022
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount37
totalSentences183
matches
0"She ducked under the tape,"
1"Her leather watch sat snug"
2"She checked the time out"
3"He was broad and pink-faced"
4"His expensive coat had been"
5"His eyes were open and"
6"She saw the details before"
7"She ignored that."
8"It was too organized for"
9"She stood and moved slowly,"
10"Her sharp jaw tightened as"
11"She crouched beside a toppled"
12"She kept walking."
13"She had never put it"
14"She had enjoyed her career"
15"She held up a clear"
16"She frowned down at it"
17"She took the bag, careful"
18"She handed the evidence sleeve"
19"He had held it."
ratio0.202
91.15% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount135
totalSentences183
matches
0"The station had been dead"
1"The tiled walls were nicotine-yellow"
2"Water ticked somewhere in the"
3"The abandoned platform had been"
4"Canvas awnings slumped over trestle"
5"Dark stains marked the concrete"
6"Blood, some of it."
7"Some of it not."
8"Uniforms had strung blue-and-white tape"
9"A handful of forensic techs"
10"Nobody liked enclosed spaces with"
11"The fact that this place"
12"She ducked under the tape,"
13"Her leather watch sat snug"
14"She checked the time out"
15"He was broad and pink-faced"
16"Quinn had worked with him"
17"Berrick gave a humorless smile."
18"The victim lay on his"
19"His expensive coat had been"
ratio0.738
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount6
totalSentences183
matches
0"By the time Quinn reached"
1"Even with eighteen years in,"
2"Because the smashed display case"
3"Because one table still held"
4"Because one of the chalk"
5"Now she was standing in"
ratio0.033
84.03% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences85
technicalSentenceCount7
matches
0"He was broad and pink-faced and looked as if he had been born suspicious of poetry and anything that didn’t fit in a report."
1"On the left cuff there were tiny green smears that matched the verdigris on the compass casing."
2"The dust had been smeared away in a broad curve about knee-height, as if large objects had been carried."
3"Her mind was moving too fast, fitting pieces that did not belong in any official puzzle she had ever been handed."
4"Now she was standing in another buried place that smelled wrong, with a dead stranger, a twitching compass, and evidence that refused to behave like evidence."
5"Her brown eyes stayed on the darkness beyond the alcove, where the torchlight seemed to thin too quickly, as though the tunnel swallowed more than illumination."
6"Farther down the abandoned platform, glass tinkled as if nudged by a passing foot, though every officer in sight was standing still."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags23
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"Berrick said, his voice losing some of its certainty,"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags22
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"Quinn repeated (repeat)"
1"Berrick repeated (repeat)"
dialogueSentences68
tagDensity0.324
leniency0.647
rawRatio0.091
effectiveRatio0.059
93.3296%