Run: 2026-03-09-01KKACDPTZ67Z27RN05210XSXY

Run Details

Duration:
1m 27s
Cost:
$0.052680
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4416" name="Detective Harlow Quinn" aliases="Quinn, Detective Quinn, Harlow" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Antagonist"> <eyeColor>brown</eyeColor> <hair>closely cropped salt-and-pepper</hair> <height>5'9"</height> <age>41</age> <jawline>sharp jaw</jawline> <watch>worn leather watch on her left wrist</watch> <bearing>military precision</bearing> <description>A Metropolitan Police detective with 18 years of decorated service who suspects the clique is involved in criminal activity.</description> <backstory>She lost her partner, DS Morris, during a case three years ago under unexplained circumstances that had supernatural origins she doesn't yet understand.</backstory> </character> <character id="4417" name="Tomás Herrera" aliases="Tommy, Tomás, Herrera" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Support"> <eyeColor>warm brown</eyeColor> <hair>short curly dark brown</hair> <height>5'10"</height> <age>29</age> <skinTone>olive skin</skinTone> <scar>scar running along his left forearm from a knife attack</scar> <medallion>Saint Christopher medallion around his neck</medallion> <birthplace>Seville, Spain</birthplace> <description>A former paramedic who provides off-the-books medical care for the clique.</description> <backstory>Born in Seville, Spain. He moved to London to work for the NHS but lost his license after administering unauthorized treatments to supernatural patients.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> <location id="856" name="The Veil Market" aliases="Veil Market, the Market, underground market" realm="Earth"> <currentLocation>abandoned Tube station beneath Camden</currentLocation> <entryRequirement>bone token</entryRequirement> <schedule>moves locations every full moon</schedule> <description>A hidden supernatural black market that sells enchanted goods, banned alchemical substances, and information.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the thriller genre. A detective is pursuing a suspect through rain-soaked city streets at night. The chase takes them from the street level down into an underground market. The detective must decide whether to follow the suspect into unfamiliar and potentially dangerous territory. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Rain came down in hard slanting needles, turning Soho’s pavements slick as oil and washing the night into smeared bands of green, amber, and brake-light red. Detective Harlow Quinn stood under the jut of a shopfront awning across from the Raven’s Nest and watched water stream off the brim of the green neon sign above the bar. The light painted the puddles a poisonous color. In it, the old maps and black-and-white photographs on the bar’s walls flashed into view whenever the door opened and shut again. She had been there forty-three minutes. Not waiting. Watching. There was a difference, and Quinn had built eighteen years of decorated service on knowing it. A black cab hissed past. A pair of club kids stumbled by under one umbrella, laughing too loudly, their shoes kicking up filthy water. Quinn didn’t look at them. Her brown eyes stayed on the entrance. One hand sat inside her coat, fingers curled around the butt of her service pistol without drawing it. Her other wrist—left, watch strap darkened by rain—rested against the brick beside her. Twenty-two thirteen. The intel had been thin and ugly. A courier. Male. Mid-thirties. A runner linking a Soho bar to a distribution point in Camden. Not narcotics, not exactly, though the source had gone pale when he tried to explain what was moving through the city. Bottles that didn’t stay empty. Powders that burned cold. Names sold for cash. Teeth. Bones. Quinn had heard all kinds of rubbish since Morris died. That was the problem. Some of it stopped sounding like rubbish after a while. The bar door opened again. A man in a flat cap stepped out, head down against the weather, shoulders hunched in a waxed jacket. He paused under the neon, struck a cigarette, and turned just enough for Quinn to catch the side of his face. Narrow nose. Greying stubble. Scar at the chin. The photo from the file hadn’t been great, but it was enough. Eddie Vale. He tucked something into the inner pocket of his jacket, zipped it shut, and moved off at once, not strolling, not running. Purposeful. The walk of a man trying very hard not to look as if he had somewhere to be. Quinn pushed off the wall. She crossed the street between taxis, horn blasts snapping after her, and fell in behind him at half a block’s distance. Rain soaked through the shoulders of her coat in seconds. Vale cut through Dean Street, then east, then north, taking corners with the easy confidence of someone who knew the shape of the city by muscle memory. Quinn kept him in sight by reflections as much as by form—his outline flaring in wet shop windows, in puddles, in the mirrored flank of a delivery van. He didn’t look back once. That made her more wary, not less. A suspect who checked over his shoulder was nervous. A suspect who didn’t had either done this a hundred times or believed nobody who mattered could follow him. Vale crossed Charing Cross Road against the lights. Quinn went after him through a burst of traffic, a bus grumbling so close she felt the heat of it. Her shoes hit the far pavement hard. He was pulling away now, head down, pace quickening. She touched the mic clipped under her lapel. “Control, this is DI Quinn. Foot surveillance, one male suspect, moving northbound toward Tottenham Court Road. Requesting plainclothes support.” Static crackled. Then the clipped voice of the night dispatcher. “Units tied up on priority calls, ma’am. Closest available is twelve minutes.” Twelve minutes. Useless. “Received,” Quinn said. She let go of the mic and lengthened her stride. Vale turned sharply into an alley behind a shuttered off-license. Quinn hit the corner two seconds later and saw him at the far end, no longer pretending now. He ran. “Police!” she shouted. “Stop!” He didn’t. Quinn went after him. The alley stank of wet cardboard, old beer, and drains. Her shoes slapped through shallow water. Bins loomed on either side, graffiti glistening under security lights. Vale clipped a stack of crates, sent them skidding. Quinn hurdled the splintered mess without breaking pace. He burst out onto a side street and veered left. She heard the squeal of tires, a driver shouting abuse, the city closing and opening around the chase in ragged flashes. Forty-one was old enough to know exactly what hurt while she was doing it. Her right knee complained on hard landings. Cold air sawed at her throat. Still she gained on him by inches. Vale wasn’t built for speed. He was built for scurrying. He cut through a covered arcade, startling a homeless man awake beneath a duvet of wet coats, and came out onto a broader road streaming with traffic and rain. Camden direction. Quinn’s pulse knocked harder. He knew where he was going. She drove forward, threading between pedestrians and parked scooters. Vale glanced back then—one quick look, and for the first time she saw his face properly. Not fear. Panic. The difference mattered. Fear looked at the police. Panic looked past them, at something worse. He slammed into a woman with shopping bags, bounced off, muttered something Quinn didn’t catch, and kept running. Quinn reached the woman a heartbeat later, steadying her by the elbow without stopping. “Sorry,” Quinn threw over her shoulder. She chased him north as the rain intensified, hammering the roofs of buses, battering scaffolding, turning the gutters into streams. Camden High Street at this hour should have been loud with drunks and music, but the weather had beaten most people under cover. Whole stretches of pavement lay glossy and almost empty. Vale used that emptiness well. He cut across open ground, then ducked suddenly down a narrow lane between a locksmith and a boarded-up betting shop. Quinn followed and nearly lost him. The lane ended in a dead-looking service yard hemmed in by stained brick and chain-link fencing. Rusted metal stairs climbed to nowhere. A heap of sodden pallets slumped against a wall. For half a second she thought he’d vanished. Then she saw the movement below. A recessed doorway stood open in the ground beneath the stairs, hidden from the street unless you were nearly on top of it. Vale was already descending concrete steps into darkness. Quinn reached the opening and stopped dead. The air that rose from below was wrong. Not sewer-wet, not Underground stale. Colder than the rain, with a mineral tang under it and something sweetly rotten that touched the back of her tongue. Light flickered on damp walls far beneath, not electric white but lantern gold and guttering blue. Voices drifted up, muffled and dense. Too many voices for a service tunnel. Her hand went to her radio again. “Control, suspect has entered a subterranean access point off Camden High Street. Possible abandoned station or service corridor. I’m going in.” A pause. “Repeat, ma’am? Your signal’s breaking.” She looked down the steps. Water trickled past her boots and vanished into the dark. Morris rose in memory before she could stop him—Morris three years ago, one hand at his earpiece, saying, Stay here, Har, then disappearing into a warehouse in Poplar with that same hard certainty in his back. Hours later they had found blood, broken concrete, and nothing that made sense. Quinn swallowed. “Signal may fail,” she said. “Log the location.” She started down. The noise built with each step, resolving into barter and laughter, argument, metal clinks, a child crying somewhere, a violin scraping an urgent, off-key melody. The stairwell opened onto an old tiled concourse whose station signs had long ago been hacked from the walls. Water dripped through cracks overhead. Along the curve of the platform, under the soot-black arch of the abandoned Tube station, stretched a market. Not metaphorically. Not in the police-report sense where a market meant a criminal ecosystem. Stalls. Crowds. Traders beneath patched tarpaulins and hanging lanterns. Shelves crammed with bottles of liquid that glowed softly in colors no sane chemist would bottle. Strings of feathers and bones. Silver charms. Knives laid out on black velvet beside watches, masks, teeth, stoppered vials of ash, little cloth packets stamped with symbols she didn’t know. The rails were half buried under planks to make walkways. At the far end of the platform a butcher’s hook swayed over an iron table. Somewhere behind her left shoulder, unseen, a train announcement crackled in a dead speaker and dissolved into whispering static. The crowd moved with the confidence of regulars. Nobody up top knew they were here. Or if they did, they weren’t the sort who filed planning complaints. Vale was thirty feet ahead, shouldering through bodies toward a tunnel mouth curtained by strips of canvas. Quinn stepped off the last stair and every instinct she had began shouting at once. Wrong place. Unknown numbers. No backup. No clear exits. Firearms in a packed civilian environment. Walk away, lock it down, come back with a team. Then three or four faces in the crowd turned toward her. Conversation near the stairs dipped. Not enough to make a scene. Enough to register an outsider. Quinn saw the first guard because he wanted to be seen. A broad man in a charcoal coat leaned against a pillar with all the softness of a blade. His hand rested inside the coat where a shoulder holster might sit. Near him, a woman with hair like white wire watched Quinn over the rim of a teacup, expression unreadable. On a crate by the stair, a tin bowl held small carved objects the color of old ivory. Bone tokens. The Veil Market. The phrase landed in her head with the force of a dropped weight. She’d heard it from a witness once, a junkie shaking in interview, who swore there was a market under London that moved every full moon and sold anything no law should touch. She had written it off as contamination from bad drugs and urban myth. Yet here it was under Camden, breathing under the city like a second set of lungs. Vale reached the canvas curtain. A hand seized his sleeve from within. He twisted, passed something over, and vanished behind the hanging strips. Quinn moved. She kept her coat closed, badge hidden for the moment, and stepped into the current of bodies. People smelled of rain, smoke, spice, damp wool, blood. A woman carrying a cage of pale birds swore at her in a language Quinn didn’t know. A boy no older than fourteen brushed past with a tray of little clay cups full of black liquid, his pupils blown so wide his eyes looked almost entirely dark. Somewhere a stallholder barked, “Fresh mandrake root, no rot, no curse, don’t touch unless you’re buying.” Quinn caught a glimpse of a glass tank where something eel-like and silver writhed through green water. She kept moving. A hand caught her forearm. She pivoted hard, other hand snapping toward her weapon, and found herself looking into the warm brown eyes of Tomás Herrera. He stood half in shadow beside a stall hung with drying herbs and strips of stained linen, rainwater still beading on his short curly dark hair. Olive skin. Tired face. Saint Christopher medallion glinting at his throat. His grip was firm, not hostile. The scar along his left forearm showed white where his sleeve had ridden up. “Don’t,” he said quietly. Quinn went still. “You.” They knew each other by proximity, not friendship. Herrera had crossed her periphery before—patching up people who refused hospitals, hovering at the edge of cases that never held together in court. She had once interviewed him for three hours and learned exactly nothing he intended her to learn. His gaze flicked over her shoulder toward the canvas curtain, then back. “If you pull a badge or a gun down here, you won’t leave the platform.” “That man’s my suspect.” “He’s not your biggest problem.” “That isn’t your decision.” A muscle worked in his jaw. The market noise swelled and ebbed around them. Nobody looked directly at them, which told Quinn plenty. In places like this, privacy was often a performance everyone agreed to maintain until violence broke it. Herrera lowered his voice further. “You came in through the public stair. No token. No sponsor. They’ll have marked you already. The ones near the pillars, the tea woman, the old man with the birds. You don’t know their rules.” Quinn’s eyes shifted briefly, taking in what he’d named. The woman with the teacup was still watching. So was the broad man at the pillar. Another two had drifted into positions that could close the path back to the stairs without seeming to. “Then educate me quickly,” she said. He almost smiled, but there was no humor in it. “There isn’t quickly enough.” Behind the canvas curtain came a sharp, muffled cry. Male. Vale. Quinn heard it, and Herrera knew she had. His grip tightened. “Listen to me.” “No.” She pulled free. He let her go, but only because hanging on harder would have made them visible. “Detective—” “Are you with him?” she asked. That stopped him for half a beat. Rain tapped through cracks in the ceiling. Somewhere glass shattered and nobody screamed. “I’m with people who survive this place,” he said. Quinn believed him. That was the worst part. She looked at the stair behind her, the only route she knew. She looked at the canvas ahead, at the rippling strips and the darkness beyond them. She measured the crowd, the angles, the men who might be armed, the certainty that her radio was probably dead now. Every instinct drilled into her since Hendon told her to freeze the scene, call it in, wait for support. Morris had done that, mostly. Morris had followed procedure until procedure met something it had no language for, and then he had gone in anyway because someone had to. Three years later she still woke hearing his last transmission cut off in a burst of static that sounded too much like whispering. If she turned back now, Vale would vanish. So would whatever changed hands behind that curtain. By morning the station would be empty and bricked over in rumor. Her report would read like a nervous breakdown. Another dead end. Another impossible place with no witnesses willing to exist on paper. Quinn drew a slow breath. The air tasted of rust and damp stone and things she didn’t want named. “Get behind me or get out of my way,” she said. Herrera stared at her for one long second, seeing, she thought, that she had already made the choice. Then he muttered something in Spanish under his breath, reached inside his coat, and pressed a small carved token into her palm. Bone, smooth with handling, etched with a crude eye. “You weren’t here unless I say you were,” he said. “Keep that visible if someone stops you. Don’t give your real name. Don’t bargain with anything you can’t count on your hands. And if anybody offers to show you your dead, walk away.” Quinn closed her fingers around the token. “Helpful,” she said. “It’s the best I can do.” Another cry behind the curtain. Cut short this time. Quinn tucked the token into her fist, squared her shoulders, and stepped toward the canvas. Around her, the market seemed to lean in, listening. The dead speaker overhead crackled once more, and in the static she heard the ghost of a station announcement from another century, welcoming nobody at all. Then she pushed through into the dark.
created_at"2026-03-09T22:45:28.041Z" 3/9/2026, 10:45:28 PM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency4984
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time87281
tokens_prompt914
tokens_completion4182
native_tokens_prompt810
native_tokens_completion3377
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning80
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.05268
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ff5625c-403f-4d7f-b895-58ac7295062c"
id"resp_0a920cb3b682325f0169af4d88240c819593770caace820cfc"
is_byokfalse
latency175
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-20260305"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773096328-uknb60hVXgpY9ELB1kaE"
upstream_id"resp_0a920cb3b682325f0169af4d88240c819593770caace820cfc"
total_cost0.05268
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags12
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"he said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences30
tagDensity0.4
leniency0.8
rawRatio0.083
effectiveRatio0.067
86.56% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2604
totalAiIsmAdverbs7
found
0
adverb"very"
count1
1
adverb"sharply"
count1
2
adverb"suddenly"
count1
3
adverb"sweetly"
count1
4
adverb"softly"
count1
5
adverb"quickly"
count2
highlights
0"very"
1"sharply"
2"suddenly"
3"sweetly"
4"softly"
5"quickly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
71.20% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2604
totalAiIsms15
found
0
word"loomed"
count1
1
word"glistening"
count1
2
word"streaming"
count1
3
word"pulse"
count1
4
word"flickered"
count1
5
word"electric"
count1
6
word"resolving"
count1
7
word"velvet"
count1
8
word"unreadable"
count1
9
word"weight"
count1
10
word"glinting"
count1
11
word"flicked"
count1
12
word"shattered"
count1
13
word"measured"
count1
14
word"etched"
count1
highlights
0"loomed"
1"glistening"
2"streaming"
3"pulse"
4"flickered"
5"electric"
6"resolving"
7"velvet"
8"unreadable"
9"weight"
10"glinting"
11"flicked"
12"shattered"
13"measured"
14"etched"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences242
matches
0"was nervous"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount0
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences242
filterMatches(empty)
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences260
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen37
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2598
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions15
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
80.47% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions87
wordCount2373
uniqueNames28
maxNameDensity1.39
worstName"Quinn"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Quinn"
discoveredNames
Soho2
Harlow1
Quinn33
Raven1
Nest1
Camden4
Morris5
Vale13
Dean1
Street2
Charing1
Cross1
Road1
High1
Underground1
Stay1
Har1
Poplar1
Tube1
Veil1
Market1
London1
Tomás1
Herrera5
Christopher1
Hendon1
Spanish1
Rain3
persons
0"Harlow"
1"Quinn"
2"Morris"
3"Vale"
4"Har"
5"Market"
6"Tomás"
7"Herrera"
8"Christopher"
9"Hendon"
10"Rain"
places
0"Soho"
1"Raven"
2"Camden"
3"Dean"
4"Street"
5"Charing"
6"Cross"
7"Road"
8"High"
9"Poplar"
10"London"
11"Spanish"
globalScore0.805
windowScore0.833
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences155
glossingSentenceCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.385
wordCount2598
matches
0"not electric white but lantern gold"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences260
matches
0"used that emptiness"
1"thought, that she"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs101
mean25.72
std24.86
cv0.967
sampleLengths
087
16
23
316
469
559
610
714
865
92
1041
115
1286
135
147
1528
1652
1719
1822
193
203
2110
2230
234
242
254
2674
2744
2835
296
3043
3132
326
3377
346
3539
366
3731
387
3963
4028
417
4264
432
448
453
4667
4714
4899
4927
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount2
totalSentences242
matches
0"was built"
1"been hacked"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount5
totalVerbs430
matches
0"was pulling"
1"was doing"
2"was going"
3"was already descending"
4"was still watching"
87.91% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount6
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences5
totalSentences260
ratio0.019
matches
0"Her other wrist—left, watch strap darkened by rain—rested against the brick beside her."
1"Quinn kept him in sight by reflections as much as by form—his outline flaring in wet shop windows, in puddles, in the mirrored flank of a delivery van."
2"Vale glanced back then—one quick look, and for the first time she saw his face properly."
3"Morris rose in memory before she could stop him—Morris three years ago, one hand at his earpiece, saying, Stay here, Har, then disappearing into a warehouse in Poplar with that same hard certainty in his back."
4"Herrera had crossed her periphery before—patching up people who refused hospitals, hovering at the edge of cases that never held together in court."
94.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2394
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"short curly dark hair."
adverbCount81
adverbRatio0.03383458646616541
lyAdverbCount22
lyAdverbRatio0.009189640768588136
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences260
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences260
mean9.99
std7.59
cv0.76
sampleLengths
026
131
28
322
46
52
61
716
85
919
105
117
1218
1313
142
157
162
171
181
1912
2021
215
224
234
241
251
2610
274
2810
295
3019
3121
322
332
344
3512
362
3722
381
3918
405
4121
4210
4327
4428
455
467
479
4819
498
63.59% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats13
diversityRatio0.4115384615384615
totalSentences260
uniqueOpeners107
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount9
totalSentences198
matches
0"Then the clipped voice of"
1"Then she saw the movement"
2"Too many voices for a"
3"Somewhere behind her left shoulder,"
4"Then three or four faces"
5"Somewhere a stallholder barked,"
6"Somewhere glass shattered and nobody"
7"Then he muttered something in"
8"Then she pushed through into"
ratio0.045
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount46
totalSentences198
matches
0"She had been there forty-three"
1"Her brown eyes stayed on"
2"Her other wrist—left, watch strap"
3"He paused under the neon,"
4"He tucked something into the"
5"She crossed the street between"
6"He didn’t look back once."
7"Her shoes hit the far"
8"He was pulling away now,"
9"She touched the mic clipped"
10"She let go of the"
11"Her shoes slapped through shallow"
12"He burst out onto a"
13"She heard the squeal of"
14"Her right knee complained on"
15"He was built for scurrying."
16"He cut through a covered"
17"He knew where he was"
18"She drove forward, threading between"
19"He slammed into a woman"
ratio0.232
71.11% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount154
totalSentences198
matches
0"Rain came down in hard"
1"Detective Harlow Quinn stood under"
2"The light painted the puddles"
3"She had been there forty-three"
4"A black cab hissed past."
5"A pair of club kids"
6"Quinn didn’t look at them."
7"Her brown eyes stayed on"
8"Her other wrist—left, watch strap"
9"The intel had been thin"
10"A runner linking a Soho"
11"Bottles that didn’t stay empty."
12"Powders that burned cold."
13"Names sold for cash."
14"Quinn had heard all kinds"
15"That was the problem."
16"Some of it stopped sounding"
17"The bar door opened again."
18"A man in a flat"
19"He paused under the neon,"
ratio0.778
25.25% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences198
matches
0"If she turned back now,"
ratio0.005
90.23% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences95
technicalSentenceCount7
matches
0"A pair of club kids stumbled by under one umbrella, laughing too loudly, their shoes kicking up filthy water."
1"Vale cut through Dean Street, then east, then north, taking corners with the easy confidence of someone who knew the shape of the city by muscle memory."
2"Morris rose in memory before she could stop him—Morris three years ago, one hand at his earpiece, saying, Stay here, Har, then disappearing into a warehouse in …"
3"Hours later they had found blood, broken concrete, and nothing that made sense."
4"She’d heard it from a witness once, a junkie shaking in interview, who swore there was a market under London that moved every full moon and sold anything no law…"
5"Herrera had crossed her periphery before—patching up people who refused hospitals, hovering at the edge of cases that never held together in court."
6"Three years later she still woke hearing his last transmission cut off in a burst of static that sounded too much like whispering."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags12
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
83.33% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags11
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"she shouted (shout)"
1"a stallholder barked (bark)"
dialogueSentences30
tagDensity0.367
leniency0.733
rawRatio0.182
effectiveRatio0.133
91.7883%