Run: 2026-03-11-01KKFD9J84BVBYMSXA5H2YM7BD

The hydrangea bush dug into Bill’s ribs as they huddled behind a suburban split-level, tinny piñata music drifting through the open front window, a cluster of squealing kids echoing off the siding. “Quit squirming, you’re gonna blow our cover before the cake’s even cut,” Molly hissed, prodding his side with a glue stick she’d stuffed in her hoodie pocket. “The clown by the door is holding a balloon sword that’s pointed right at us. Also this bush has ticks. Why are we breaking into a first grader’s unicorn birthday party to steal presents, again?” Bill whispered, swatting at a stray leaf that landed on his nose. “Because her mom scored that limited-edition Blippi glitter studio that goes for $450 on Facebook Marketplace, and all those $25 Visa gift cards the great-aunts drag in? That’s our gas money for two whole months. We’re not monsters,” Molly said. “Stealing from a kid’s party is literally the monster origin story! What’s the escape plan, anyway? The golden retriever next door stared me down ten minutes ago, I swear it texted the neighborhood watch.” “Escape plan is we walk in as the last-minute face painters I booked. I printed Etsy badges. Laminated. Laminated badges fool every suburban mom within a 10-mile radius. Wait—did you just stuff a Sour Patch Kid in your jacket?” “Stress eating! This is a high-stakes heist!”