Run: 2026-03-11-01KKFFPZT1JY5Z4M8082DVXA1Y

The backyard was a minefield of primary-colored balloons and discarded juice boxes. Molly crouched behind the inflatable castle, her eyes narrowed at the dining room window where the last parent had just said goodbye. Bill was lying flat on the ground beside her, pretending to be a log. “You look ridiculous,” Molly whispered. “I’m providing tactical concealment,” Bill whispered back, his voice muffled by the grass. “The log camouflage.” “The target is a seven-year-old’s birthday party, Bill. The only threat is a sleeping Doberman and a clown making balloon animals.” She pointed. “See? The presents are on that table by the cake. Operation ‘Unwrap Early’ is a go.” “Right. Go-time.” Bill rolled onto his knees. “I still think my name is better. ‘Operation: Gifted & Talented.’” “Your name is stupid. Now, the entry. I’ll go through the patio door. It’s never locked. You create a distraction.” “What kind of distraction?” “Something loud. Draw the dog’s attention.” Bill’s face lit up. “I’ll bark. I’m a fantastic barker.” “No. Absolutely not.” Molly pinched the bridge of her nose. “Throw that half-eaten hot dog over the fence. Into the neighbor’s yard. Fido will chase the smell.” “Brilliant. Subtle. Surgical.” Bill reached for the hot dog. “And you have the decoy presents?” Molly asked, pulling two small, beautifully wrapped boxes from her backpack. “Got ‘em.” Bill patted his pockets, then froze. “Uh. The decoys might be… currently in my stomach.” “You ate the decoys? We spent forty minutes wrapping those!” “They looked like little candy bricks! And I was nervous!” Molly stared at him. “You ate three fist-sized boxes of ‘Strawberry Explosion’ body lotion?” “Don’t judge me. It was a moment of weakness.” Bill burped softly. “They were… floral.” “Okay. Improvise.” Molly took a steadying breath. “You’ll have to… look guilty. Act suspicious. Wander around.” “Act suspicious? Bill ‘Log’ Henderson? The master of subtlety?” He gave a dramatic bow. “My time has come.” He stood up and began a clumsy, hunched-over walk toward the side of the house, muttering to himself. Molly watched, horrified. “What are you doing?” “Acting suspicious!” Bill hissed. “I’m a shifty character! A purveyor of illicit… things!” He knocked over a plastic flamingo with his knee. It clattered loudly. The Doberman’s head popped up from its bed by the door. Its ears perked. “Plan B!” Molly hissed, grabbing Bill’s arm. “The clown’s van. He left his keys in the ignition. We steal his van, not the presents.” “Steal the clown’s van? That’s the new plan?” “It’s a brilliant pivot! The van is filled with giant shoes and confetti cannons. Think of the resale value!” “Who resells giant shoes?” “We’ll find a market! Now move, before the dog realizes you’re not a log!” They sprinted for the van as the Doberman began a low, rumbling growl. Bill fumbled with the door handle. “I still think ‘Operation: Gifted & Talented’ had legs.” “Shut up, Bill, and drive!” Molly yelled, diving into the passenger seat. The van’s engine roared to life with a squeal, spraying confetti from a loose cannon in the back. As they careened out of the driveway, Molly glanced at the party. The clown was standing at the window, waving slowly, holding a half-made poodle balloon. “See?” Bill said, grinning. “A clean getaway.” Molly sighed, picking a piece of glitter out of her hair. “We are never speaking of this again.”