Run: 2026-03-18-01KM07JN5PESJ3VRBWVRP9EDHN

Molly: “Tonight we steal every present like we’re allergic to joy.” Bill: “Joy is overrated. Also, I packed two pairs of socks—stolen socks.” Molly: “Disguise check. Your mustache says ‘mildly haunted librarian.’” Bill: “Your hoodie says ‘marshmallow fell into a craft store.’ Perfect.” Molly: “We enter during the group photo.” Bill: “Right. While the kids shout, we grab boxes and vanish.” Molly: “Do we take the tiny ones first?” Bill: “Yes. Small gifts are the stealthiest. They scream less.” Molly: “I heard the host’s mom is decorating with motion lights.” Bill: “Then we move like ninjas… with flash photography anxiety.” Molly: “No sticky hands this time.” Bill: “No frosting, no crumbs, no heroic cupcakes.” Molly: “If a child asks what we’re doing—” Bill: “We compliment their dinosaur helmet and pretend it’s a tour.” Molly: “Pretend we’re the birthday security.” Bill: “Exactly. ‘Please enjoy your loot responsibly.’” Molly: “What about the game prizes?” Bill: “We take only the ones labeled ‘for winners.’ Everyone here is a winner.” Molly: “On three?” Bill: “On three.” Molly: “One, two—” Bill: “—and on three, we become legends.” Molly: “And if we get caught?” Bill: “Then we blame the balloons. They’re too innocent for absolutely nothing.”