Run: 2026-03-18-01KM07WEXFKYXR9FR26PPB2KRP

Run Details

Duration:
35.5s
Cost:
$0.031148
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The Raven’s Nest was never quiet, not really, but it had hours when the noise thinned to a murmur and the room seemed to hold itself in suspension. Late enough on a Tuesday, the bar had settled into that half-awake state: the low clink of glass from the far end, a burst of laughter that died as soon as it rose, the soft hiss of rain against the front windows. The green neon sign above the entrance bled through the panes in a dim wash, tinting the bottles behind the bar and the old maps on the walls a bruised, underwater color. Aurora was wiping down a pint glass she had already cleaned twice. She told herself she was helping Silas, but really she was letting her hands do something while her mind wandered in its usual circles: the rent due next week, the route she had to take in the morning, the message she still hadn’t answered from Eva two months ago and the older, meaner messages from Evan that she still sometimes woke up hearing in her head. The crescent scar on her left wrist flashed pale when she turned the glass. She had cut herself on a broken bottle at ten. Some marks stayed because they had teeth. Silas stood at the far end of the bar, one hand resting on the polished wood, his silver signet ring catching the light every time he moved. He was talking in that quiet, even way of his to a man in a navy coat, all authority and no waste. The old knee injury gave him a slight hitch when he shifted his weight, but it never made him seem smaller. If anything, the limp sharpened the sense that he had decided exactly how much of himself the world got to see. The door opened and a gust of wet air pushed in behind it. Aurora looked up automatically, expecting another courier, another drunk, another Soho office worker looking for a refuge with decent whiskey. Instead she saw a woman standing just inside the threshold with rain in her hair and one hand on the door as if she had stepped into the wrong life by accident. For a second Aurora did not know her. Then the woman lifted her head, and the shape of her face slid into place with such force that it felt like being struck in the chest. “Rory?” The name came out thin and stunned, and the woman’s mouth changed first, a little crack in the careful expression she was wearing. “Aurora.” No one in Cardiff had called her Aurora unless they were annoyed or serious or trying to be formal on purpose. This woman had once called her Rory with her whole body, laughing before the word was even finished. “Eva,” Aurora said. It landed between them like something dropped and broken. Eva’s hair was different. It used to be a mess of copper curls she shoved behind her ears with impatient hands. Now it was cut sharp at her jaw and dyed a dark, glossy brown that made her skin look paler than Aurora remembered. There was no softness in the line of it. She wore a camel coat that probably cost more than Aurora’s monthly rent, and the scarf at her throat was knotted with the kind of deliberate care that suggested she no longer dressed for weather, only for being seen. She looked older, though not by much, and yet somehow the years had not simply added themselves to her face; they had arranged her into someone else. Aurora felt a sudden, irrational urge to check the room behind her, as if another Eva might be standing there waiting with the old one’s laugh. Eva stared back, eyes wide and bright with a startled disbelief that was almost painful to see. Then the expression tightened, only slightly, and she moved toward the bar. Aurora put the glass down too hard. Silas glanced over once, took in the pair of them in a single sweep, and said nothing. He had the look he used when he knew a matter was larger than the room but intended to let it unfold anyway. With a brief nod, he set the bottle he’d been holding back on the shelf and began making his way toward the rear, his limp making the movement deliberate rather than awkward. He paused by the bookshelf near the back wall, one hand brushing the spines as he passed, and disappeared from sight toward the hidden room behind it. The bar seemed to contract around them after he left. Eva reached the counter but did not sit. “I thought you were in Cardiff.” Aurora let out a short, incredulous breath. “That’s your first sentence?” “It’s a reasonable one.” “You walked into my bar after—” She stopped because the word years felt childish and enormous both at once. “How long has it been?” Eva looked past her for a moment, toward the window, where rain was running in silver threads down the glass. “Long enough.” That old, maddening reflex flared in Aurora, the one that had always come up when Eva was being evasive on purpose. It was the same look Eva used to get on her face at fourteen when she had stolen cigarettes from her brother and lied badly about it. The years had altered her, but not enough to erase the machinery underneath. Aurora leaned one hip against the bar. “You could have said hello online. Or by phone. Or through the civilized, modern miracle of texting me back.” Eva’s mouth twitched as if it almost remembered how to smile. “You say that like you didn’t disappear.” The room went very still inside Aurora. She looked at Eva’s coat sleeve, at the cuff turned back just enough to show a wrist bare of jewelry, at the faint line of tension around her mouth. For a second she saw Cardiff in fragments: the bus stop in the rain, Eva’s hand looped through hers, both of them sixteen and soaked through their shoes, laughing because the universe had not yet managed to make itself permanent. She saw a bedroom floor covered in schoolbooks and crisp packets, Eva sprawled on her stomach and reading out loud in terrible accents just to make Aurora snort tea through her nose. She saw the last week before she left London, and the silence after, and the messages she had not answered because every reply felt like evidence of all the things she had failed to become. “I didn’t disappear,” Aurora said carefully. “I left.” Eva’s eyes held hers. “Without saying goodbye.” Aurora’s throat tightened. “You knew why.” “I knew you were scared.” Eva glanced down, then back up. “I didn’t know you thought I’d stop you.” Aurora gave a humorless laugh. “I thought you’d tell me to stay.” “I did tell you to stay,” Eva said. “In Cardiff. In your life. In your own flat, before it got to whatever point it got to.” Aurora felt heat crawl up her neck. No one in the Nest knew that language. The bar was full of old maps and old photographs, but the worst things she carried around with her rarely had names here. She glanced toward the back room, half expecting Silas to emerge and rescue her with some practical interruption. He did not. Eva seemed to take in the room properly for the first time. The wall of black-and-white photographs. The framed map of London with thumbtacks and faded pencil marks. The low amber lamps and the narrow line of brass along the bar. “You live here?” “Above it.” “Of course you do.” That should have sounded like a joke, but it didn’t. It sounded like Eva recognizing the shape of the person Aurora had become and not liking how little surprise it contained. Aurora folded her arms. “And you? You walk in looking like you’ve just stepped out of a train platform in Mayfair and expect me not to ask questions?” Eva gave a small, tired exhale. “I didn’t expect to see you at all.” “But you knew where this was?” “I knew where Silas was.” Aurora looked at her sharply. “You know Silas?” Not well, perhaps, but Eva’s face gave her something. A trace of caution. A glance at the far end of the room where Silas had disappeared. Not fear exactly. Familiarity, maybe, or the knowledge that some men were connected to things other people only ever brushed against. “I met him once,” Eva said. “Years ago. Through work.” There was more in that answer than the words carried, and Aurora had the sudden, sour sense of being outside a room she used to know the hinges of. “What work?” Eva’s gaze slid away. “You first.” Aurora laughed, but this time there was no humor in it. “Delivery runner for a restaurant. Mostly noodles and curries. Occasionally disappointment.” Eva blinked, and then, to Aurora’s surprise, she smiled for real. Not the polished thing she’d been wearing, but the old one, crooked and a little reckless at the edges. It was smaller than Aurora remembered, yet it rearranged her face enough that the person standing there seemed to come loose from the tailored coat and city manners for a second. “You always did undersell yourself,” Eva said. “Only when I’m being accurate.” “Still as charming.” Aurora snorted despite herself, and the sound cracked the tension for half a heartbeat. It was enough to let the next memory rise uninvited: Eva at twelve, feet dangling off the sea wall in Cardiff Bay, saying, with absolute sincerity, that one day they would leave and be the sort of women who did not apologize for taking up space. Aurora had believed her because Eva had spoken like belief was a form of weather. Now Eva stood in a London bar with rain in her hair and something braced behind her eyes that Aurora could not identify. “You’ve changed,” Aurora said before she could stop herself. Eva looked down at her coat as if checking for evidence. “So have you.” Aurora wanted to argue, but the truth of it sat there between them, plain as the whiskey bottles behind the bar. She had not changed in the elegant way Eva had. Aurora still wore her black hair straight around her shoulders, still tucked it behind one ear when she was nervous, still had the same quick, assessing glance. But she had also acquired other things: a habit of measuring exits, a stillness at the center of her body that had not been there before, a coldness around some parts of her heart that she could not remember earning and could not seem to shed. Silas returned with two glasses and a bottle of water, setting them down without a word. His hazel eyes moved from one woman to the other with a near-imperceptible lift of his brows. “On the house,” he said. Eva looked up. “That’s generous.” Silas’s mouth barely moved. “It is, indeed, a rare occurrence. Enjoy it.” He left them again, taking his measured time, the old ring flashing once under the light. Aurora watched him go and felt, absurdly, grateful for the permission to be awkward in peace. Eva unscrewed the bottle of water and drank as if she had been walking through a desert. When she set it down, her fingers lingered against the plastic. “Your messages,” she said quietly. “I did send them.” Aurora frowned. “What messages?” Eva met her eyes. “After you left Cardiff. Before you stopped answering.” Aurora’s chest tightened. “I didn’t stop—” “You did.” No heat in it, just fact. “At first, anyway. Then it became easier to pretend I hadn’t been checking. So I let it.” Aurora stared at her. “I didn’t get them.” Eva’s expression shifted, a careful reordering of surprise and suspicion. “You didn’t?” “No.” “Not one?” Aurora shook her head. For the first time since she had walked in, Eva looked genuinely thrown. The silence that followed was not empty. It was full of all the versions of the past they had carried separately, all the small wrong turns that had grown into distances. Aurora could almost feel them pressing in from the walls, from the old maps, from the black-and-white faces in the photographs watching with their impossible certainty. Eva looked down at the glass in front of her. “I thought you didn’t want me involved.” Aurora’s laugh came out thin. “I thought you got tired of me.” Eva lifted her gaze slowly. “Never.” It was such a simple word that for a second Aurora could not trust it. She searched Eva’s face for mockery or habit or the kind of politeness that meant someone had decided not to tell the whole truth. What she found instead was something she had not expected to see here: weariness, yes, and care, and the residue of an older loyalty neither of them had known how to keep alive. Aurora sat down on the barstool because her knees had started to feel unreliable. “Why now?” Eva let out a breath and looked toward the door, where the rain had thinned to a mist against the green neon. “Because I was passing. Because I knew this place. Because I saw the sign and thought maybe I was imagining things.” She paused. “Because I’m tired of not saying things.” Aurora’s fingers tightened around the edge of the counter. She thought of all the years between them, of the calls not returned, the birthdays missed, the silence that had grown its own architecture. She thought of Cardiff, of leaving, of the particular shame of being known too well by someone who had once seen you at your weakest and still chosen you. “And what is it you want to say?” she asked. Eva looked at her for a long moment, and Aurora saw the effort it took. Saw that whatever lived behind the elegant coat and severe haircut had not been made easy by time. Perhaps that was the change, more than anything else. Not confidence. Not success. Just the hard, visible fact of having survived becoming an adult and not liking the shape of it. “I missed you,” Eva said at last. Then, after a beat, as if the truth had opened a door she could not close again: “I think I was angry for a long time. And I think I was more hurt than I knew how to admit.” Aurora swallowed. The words found old bruises with perfect accuracy. “I was angry too,” she said, because she owed the room honesty if nothing else. “Not at you. Mostly at myself. At how easy it was to leave. At how hard it was to stay anywhere.” Eva’s face softened in a way that made her look suddenly, painfully like the girl she had once been. “You were never good at staying when you were frightened.” “No,” Aurora said. “But you were.” Eva gave a faint, sad smile. “That was before I learned better.” Neither of them spoke for a while. The bar breathed around them. Ice settled in a glass. Somewhere in the back room, beyond the bookshelf, a door closed softly. Aurora watched the rain blur the world outside into streaks of silver and green. She could feel the weight of time in the distance between their elbows, in the carefulness of their voices, in the fact that they were both trying very hard not to ask the one question that mattered most: what had happened to make them strangers? At length, Eva slid a hand into her coat pocket and drew out a folded scrap of paper. She set it on the bar, but did not push it over. “My number,” she said. “If you want it.” Aurora looked at the paper, then at Eva. The old instinct to protect herself rose fast and automatic, all sharp edges and caution. Beside it came something else, quieter and harder to ignore: the knowledge that regret could be a kind of prison if you fed it long enough. She picked up the note. Eva watched her do it as if it mattered more than Aurora wanted to admit. “Stay for one drink,” Aurora said. Eva’s eyes searched hers, and for the first time since she had walked into the Nest, the lines around her mouth eased. “All right.” Aurora reached for the bottle, poured water into both glasses because neither of them needed courage from alcohol to say what was already standing in the room with them. Then she looked up at the wall of photographs, at the faces suspended in old black-and-white certainty, and thought that time was not a straight road at all. It was a series of doors you kept opening by accident, each one carrying the smell of a place you had loved badly and left too soon. Across from her, Eva lifted her glass. Aurora lifted hers back. Neither of them smiled much. But neither of them looked away.
created_at"2026-03-18T10:29:26.077Z" 3/18/2026, 10:29:26 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency19052
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time35310
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion4761
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion6787
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning3348
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0311475
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_0677d2ab8141b4f70169ba7e8624f481968eaffc13651107b9"
is_byokfalse
latency172
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773829766-2kTLBzB3IUmtML1odqbi"
upstream_id"resp_0677d2ab8141b4f70169ba7e8624f481968eaffc13651107b9"
total_cost0.0311475
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags18
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"Aurora said carefully [carefully]"
1"she said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences71
tagDensity0.254
leniency0.507
rawRatio0.111
effectiveRatio0.056
82.37% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2836
totalAiIsmAdverbs10
found
0
adverb"really"
count2
1
adverb"slightly"
count1
2
adverb"very"
count2
3
adverb"carefully"
count1
4
adverb"sharply"
count1
5
adverb"slowly"
count1
6
adverb"suddenly"
count1
7
adverb"softly"
count1
highlights
0"really"
1"slightly"
2"very"
3"carefully"
4"sharply"
5"slowly"
6"suddenly"
7"softly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
78.84% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2836
totalAiIsms12
found
0
word"weight"
count2
1
word"tension"
count2
2
word"stomach"
count1
3
word"silence"
count3
4
word"sense of"
count1
5
word"measured"
count1
6
word"perfect"
count1
7
word"could feel"
count1
highlights
0"weight"
1"tension"
2"stomach"
3"silence"
4"sense of"
5"measured"
6"perfect"
7"could feel"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"let out a breath"
count1
highlights
0"let out a breath"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences165
matches
0"was nervous"
47.62% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount2
hedgeCount9
narrationSentences165
filterMatches
0"look"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tended to"
2"managed to"
3"seem to"
4"started to"
5"happened to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences217
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen66
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2836
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions25
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
33.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions119
wordCount2434
uniqueNames12
maxNameDensity2.05
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity4
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest3
Tuesday1
Silas7
Eva46
Evan1
Soho1
Aurora50
Cardiff4
Rory1
London3
Bay1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Silas"
2"Eva"
3"Evan"
4"Aurora"
5"Rory"
places
0"Nest"
1"Cardiff"
2"London"
3"Bay"
globalScore0.473
windowScore0.333
49.19% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences124
glossingSentenceCount5
matches
0"felt like being struck in the chest"
1"felt like evidence of all the things sh"
2"sounded like a joke, but it didn’t"
3"sounded like Eva recognizing the shape of"
4"as if checking for evidence"
94.22% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.058
wordCount2836
matches
0"not really, but it had hours"
1"Not well, perhaps, but Eva’s face gave her something"
2"Not the polished thing she’d been wearing, but the old one, crooked"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount4
totalSentences217
matches
0"force that it"
1"knew that language"
2"Saw that whatever"
3"thought that time"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs104
mean27.27
std29.81
cv1.093
sampleLengths
0102
1109
291
313
452
58
627
71
823
91
1039
113
129
13119
1426
1529
167
1799
1810
1914
2011
214
2224
2322
2461
2526
2618
277
28136
298
307
316
3219
3312
3426
3559
3644
372
384
3931
4028
4114
426
435
448
4547
4610
4729
482
496
94.63% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences165
matches
0"being struck"
1"were annoyed"
2"being seen"
3"were connected"
4"been made"
64.98% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount8
totalVerbs395
matches
0"was wiping"
1"was helping"
2"was letting"
3"was talking"
4"was wearing"
5"was running"
6"was being"
7"was already standing"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount0
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences1
totalSentences217
ratio0.005
matches
0"She looked older, though not by much, and yet somehow the years had not simply added themselves to her face; they had arranged her into someone else."
97.02% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2442
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount106
adverbRatio0.043407043407043405
lyAdverbCount28
lyAdverbRatio0.011466011466011465
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences217
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences217
mean13.07
std10.74
cv0.822
sampleLengths
028
142
232
312
466
514
610
77
827
922
1021
1121
1213
1320
1432
158
1627
171
1823
191
2021
2118
223
239
244
2517
2623
279
2839
2927
3026
3117
3212
337
3417
3523
3632
3727
3810
398
406
417
424
434
4419
455
4620
472
4821
4927
44.93% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats11
diversityRatio0.271889400921659
totalSentences217
uniqueOpeners59
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount8
totalSentences151
matches
0"Instead she saw a woman"
1"Then the woman lifted her"
2"Then the expression tightened, only"
3"Perhaps that was the change,"
4"Just the hard, visible fact"
5"Then, after a beat, as"
6"Somewhere in the back room,"
7"Then she looked up at"
ratio0.053
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount33
totalSentences151
matches
0"She told herself she was"
1"She had cut herself on"
2"He was talking in that"
3"It landed between them like"
4"It used to be a"
5"She wore a camel coat"
6"She looked older, though not"
7"He had the look he"
8"He paused by the bookshelf"
9"She stopped because the word"
10"It was the same look"
11"She looked at Eva’s coat"
12"She saw a bedroom floor"
13"She saw the last week"
14"She glanced toward the back"
15"He did not."
16"It sounded like Eva recognizing"
17"It was smaller than Aurora"
18"It was enough to let"
19"She had not changed in"
ratio0.219
65.96% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount119
totalSentences151
matches
0"The Raven’s Nest was never"
1"The green neon sign above"
2"Aurora was wiping down a"
3"She told herself she was"
4"The crescent scar on her"
5"She had cut herself on"
6"Some marks stayed because they"
7"Silas stood at the far"
8"He was talking in that"
9"The old knee injury gave"
10"The door opened and a"
11"Aurora looked up automatically, expecting"
12"The name came out thin"
13"This woman had once called"
14"It landed between them like"
15"Eva’s hair was different."
16"It used to be a"
17"She wore a camel coat"
18"She looked older, though not"
19"Aurora felt a sudden, irrational"
ratio0.788
99.34% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount3
totalSentences151
matches
0"If anything, the limp sharpened"
1"Now it was cut sharp"
2"Now Eva stood in a"
ratio0.02
68.45% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences96
technicalSentenceCount10
matches
0"Late enough on a Tuesday, the bar had settled into that half-awake state: the low clink of glass from the far end, a burst of laughter that died as soon as it r…"
1"Instead she saw a woman standing just inside the threshold with rain in her hair and one hand on the door as if she had stepped into the wrong life by accident."
2"Aurora felt a sudden, irrational urge to check the room behind her, as if another Eva might be standing there waiting with the old one’s laugh."
3"Eva stared back, eyes wide and bright with a startled disbelief that was almost painful to see."
4"It was enough to let the next memory rise uninvited: Eva at twelve, feet dangling off the sea wall in Cardiff Bay, saying, with absolute sincerity, that one day…"
5"But she had also acquired other things: a habit of measuring exits, a stillness at the center of her body that had not been there before, a coldness around some…"
6"It was full of all the versions of the past they had carried separately, all the small wrong turns that had grown into distances."
7"She thought of all the years between them, of the calls not returned, the birthdays missed, the silence that had grown its own architecture."
8"She thought of Cardiff, of leaving, of the particular shame of being known too well by someone who had once seen you at your weakest and still chosen you."
9"She could feel the weight of time in the distance between their elbows, in the carefulness of their voices, in the fact that they were both trying very hard not…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags18
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags14
fancyCount0
fancyTags(empty)
dialogueSentences71
tagDensity0.197
leniency0.394
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
87.3629%