Run: 2026-03-18-01KM083YQJ3TDT7HB4FQ9JQZR9

Run Details

Duration:
21.3s
Cost:
$0.005533
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
Aurora paused at the last stretch of Richmond Park where the streetlights gave up and the dark began in earnest. The city noise behind her had thinned to a suggestion—distant traffic, the occasional bark of a late-night dog—until even that seemed to belong to another world. Ahead, the line of ancient oak standing stones cut across the undergrowth like old punctuation. Their trunks were thick and furrowed, their bark dark with damp, and between them the night looked fractionally deeper, as if something beneath it had its own gravity. She held her breath and listened. There were sounds, yes. Leaves ticking against leaves. The slow, patient hush of far-off water. A branch snapping somewhere she couldn’t see. But none of it settled into a pattern. Every noise felt like it was arriving late, as though the grove were taking its time deciding what she ought to hear. Aurora tightened her grip on her delivery bag out of habit and then loosened it again, embarrassed by the gesture. She was twenty-five. She’d fled London to get away from an abusive ex named Evan, and she’d learned—painfully, efficiently—that fear didn’t care how old you were or how sensible your reasons were. Fear only needed a crack. Her reason sat heavy at the center of her thoughts, and it pulled at her attention until she could almost feel it in her teeth. The Heartstone pendant warmed against her sternum through the fabric of her coat, a faint, internal heat that didn’t match the air. She hadn’t noticed it when she left home above Silas’ bar; it had started pulsing only once she’d passed the last familiar street. Now, under the trees, it gave a steady rhythm like a second heartbeat—slow, deliberate, certain. Near a Hel portal, her benefactor had said. Somewhere between Earth and the Fae-touched realm, the right kind of doorway would wake. Aurora had come for that doorway. She stepped toward the first standing stone. The ground changed under her shoes the way wet wood changes under fingertips—still earth, but not the same earth she knew. The soil held a cooler chill that rose quickly into her ankles, and the air smelled different too: not just damp leaves and rot, but something sharp and sweet, like crushed stems. Wildflowers grew between the oaks despite the hour and despite the season. Their colors looked too clean for the night, as if the darkness had never fully claimed them. She could see red, white, a bruised violet, all blooming year-round without caring that it was late. A ridiculous thought, she told herself. A fae grove shouldn’t obey logic. But the wrongness wasn’t in the flowers. It was in the way the clearing seemed to be holding its breath with her. She reached the boundary stones and ran her fingertips along the nearest oak’s bark, feeling the ridges and the grain. Cold, real. Rough, honest. She drew a slow breath through her nose and tried to anchor herself in what she could verify. The pendant pulsed. Her wrist tingled next, the small crescent scar on her left wrist—childhood pain—tightening as if some old wound remembered it had a job. She had forgotten how that scar felt until now. It was an itch of memory. Not hurt. Not exactly. Just a signal, like a wire waking after years of disuse. Aurora let the sensation pass, then checked her phone out of reflex. No signal. She flicked the screen off and looked back up. For a moment, the standing stones had seemed closer than they were a heartbeat ago. Or maybe it was her perception that had drifted. The problem with wrongness was that it made you doubt the measurement of your own mind. She took one step between the stones. A breeze threaded through the grove. It was gentle, almost courteous. Her hair—shoulder-length black, straight as a drawn line—lifted at the ends and then settled again. No leaves danced. No branches swayed in response. The air moved like someone had exhaled into her face from directly behind her. Aurora turned her head. There was nothing there. No figure. No shape. Only a curtain of shadowing trees and the suggestion of depth where the path should have gone. She stared into it, forcing her eyes to hold still. Her pulse kept time with the pendant’s warmth, steady as a metronome. “Hello?” she said, and the word came out too calm. She hated that. She hated that her voice sounded like she was speaking to a shop assistant, like she wasn’t stepping into a pocket between realms at night with a dangerous artifact over her heart. The clearing answered with silence. Not the normal silence of a park at midnight. This silence felt arranged, layered. Like a room full of people who refused to breathe. Aurora stepped forward again, careful. She didn’t walk fast. Fast meant noise, and noise meant she’d lose control of what she could hear. She moved like she was trying not to disturb something sleeping. The wildflowers shifted at the periphery of her vision. Not swaying in the way flowers swayed. They shifted the way an audience shifts when something in the center catches their attention—subtle, coordinated, and slightly delayed. Aurora’s gaze snapped to the closest cluster and held there. The blossoms were still. Their petals looked damp, and their centers seemed darker than they should have been, like pupils in miniature eyes. She blinked once—hard—and the impression changed. Light played on them differently after her blink, and in that difference her mind tried to stitch a pattern that wasn’t there. She turned away before she could force it. When she looked back at the path she’d come from, the standing stones were no longer aligned as they had been. They were still there—she could see the oak trunks, the dark roots gripping the ground—but the spacing had altered. Not enough for her to call it impossible. Enough for her to feel the floor tilt beneath certainty. Aurora swallowed. Her throat felt dry, as if the air had thickened. “Okay,” she said softly. “Okay.” She drew her coat closer around herself and pressed her thumb to the pendant’s silver chain. The pulse intensified, warmer now, and with it came a sensation behind her eyes—pressure, like altitude sickness. She could almost taste copper. The Hel portal wasn’t a metaphor. It was proximity. The grove’s trees leaned in, or perhaps she leaned toward them. A line of trunks converged at the far side of the clearing, where the wildflowers grew denser. Between them, a faint shimmer hovered low to the ground. It looked like heat haze, except the air wasn’t hot. It was the air itself refusing to hold still. Aurora’s breath slowed. She forced her hands to remain steady. She had read enough to understand that fear was an emotion; it didn’t have to be a verdict. Logic could keep her alive. She took another step. The sound came then. It wasn’t loud. It didn’t crash or snarl. It was a careful noise, like cloth dragged over wood. Like someone shifting weight behind a door. Aurora froze. The sound had happened to her left, close enough that her skin reacted. But when she twisted her head, all she saw were trees and wildflowers—nothing else. No footsteps. No movement. Her mind tried to supply an explanation. Wind caught fabric. A branch creaked. An animal moved. It was easy. Too easy. She listened harder. Under the quiet, there was another layer: a whisper too distant to make words, but intimate in tone, as if lips hovered near her ear and knew her name well enough to speak it without needing volume. Aurora didn’t respond. She wouldn’t feed it with attention. She couldn’t afford to. The whisper continued, threaded through the grove’s air. She couldn’t locate it precisely. When she angled her head one way, it seemed to lean with her. When she turned back to face the shimmer, the whisper stretched longer, like taffy drawn thinner. The pendant burned once, sudden and sharp, as though it had struck a nerve. Aurora lowered her gaze to her wrist. The crescent scar was warmer now, the skin around it flushed faintly. The old injury itched with a familiar insistence. She pressed her fingers there until the sensation became bearable. “Stay with me,” she told herself. Her voice didn’t shake. That almost offended her. She could be afraid. She had permission. But she wouldn’t run on blind panic. She approached the shimmering patch of air between the trees. The wildflowers nearest the shimmer had stopped blooming properly. Their stems looked bent inward, as if something below them pulled down on the roots. Their colors—bright, clean—had dulled at the edges, turning the way bruises turn after too much pressure. Aurora’s stomach tightened. She lifted her hand toward the shimmer. The air resisted. Not physically, not like a wall, but like a refusal. She could feel the surface of the other realm at the edge of sensation—like the moment before you touch a hot pan, when your mind already knows the burn is coming and your hand hesitates anyway. She pulled her hand back quickly and flexed her fingers. The pendant pulsed harder, warming until it hurt through the chain. There was a sound behind her then, crisp as a snapped twig. Aurora didn’t turn immediately. She held still, letting her mind triangulate the noise without confirming the worst. The sound had come from the direction of the second standing stone, deeper in the trees. The way the grove arranged silence, she couldn’t be sure whether it was present or echo, whether it had already happened or was happening now and only sounded like memory. Then the whisper stopped. The sudden absence rang in her ears. In that emptiness, she heard something else: a soft, rhythmic breathing that was not her own, not aligned to her pace. It was close. Too close. The pattern was wrong—two breaths, then a pause too long, then another two, like the listener was learning how she breathed and failing to match it. Aurora turned her head slowly, deliberately. At the very edge of her vision, between two trunks, a darker shape moved. Not a person. Not an animal. It slid across the space the way a shadow slides when a light changes, except there hadn’t been any light change—only her own shifting gaze. One moment it wasn’t there, the next it was, and then it was behind a tree as if it had never crossed a distance. Her eyes searched. Her mind refused to declare what she saw. She forced her focus narrower, toward where the movement had last been. A stillness met her gaze. The space between trunks looked empty. But empty didn’t feel empty anymore. It felt held. Like a held breath before a scream. Aurora took one step away from the shimmer, then another toward the standing stones. She didn’t want the doorway open too long. She didn’t know what the doorway would do with time. Her pendant’s pulse sped up, almost frantic now, and the heat spread through her chest in a spreading bloom. She felt the urge to step closer, like a magnet tugging her bones. The sensation wasn’t just physical. It had a persuasive quality, an insistence that the thing she needed waited just beyond the shimmer. She forced herself not to obey. Instead, she looked down at her feet. The ground under her shoes was no longer the same ground. The soil looked slightly different in texture, finer, and when she tilted her foot, the earth gave with an unnatural smoothness. She lifted her heel and saw a faint pattern pressed into the surface—like an imprint of bare feet, too long, too narrow, spacing incorrect for any human stride. She raised her head. The whisper had returned, quieter now, close enough that the hairs on her arms lifted. “Rory,” it said. Not loudly. Not cruelly. Like someone speaking a name they’d been given permission to use. Aurora’s stomach went cold, not with fear alone but with recognition of the impossible. The only people who called her Rory were friends, people who spoke it with warmth. Hearing it on the grove’s tongue felt like being copied without understanding. She swallowed. “Who’s there?” No answer came in words. Instead, the shimmer between the trees brightened by a fraction, as if the portal had noticed she’d asked. The darker shape at the edge of vision shifted again, closer this time, and Aurora caught it for half a heartbeat before it slipped away from her direct sight. A suggestion of height. A suggestion of shoulders. Something that didn’t occupy space like a body and didn’t cast a shadow like one either. The grove’s lighting refused to decide where it belonged. Aurora’s breath came faster. She felt her pulse in her wrists, in the pendant chain, in the crescent scar. The pain wasn’t escalating into anything sharp, which was almost worse. It was building toward a decision. She reached for her phone again out of spite, thumb trembling just slightly. The screen lit the inside of her palm with an antiseptic glow, and for a moment she felt better—proof she lived in the right world. Then she realized the screen wasn’t showing the time. It was showing a blank interface with a single line of text, as if her phone had opened an app she didn’t remember installing. The letters were crisp and unfamiliar. She couldn’t read them at first, because her mind wanted to force them into English. When she stopped forcing, when she let her eyes accept they were not meant for her language, the line resolved into meaning anyway. It said, in a clean script that looked like it had always been there: COME CLOSER. Aurora lowered the phone slowly. The grove swallowed the light as if it were hungry. The text faded. Her pendant flared with warmth. The shimmer brightened further, turning from heat haze into something with edges. Not a doorway exactly—more like a tear in the air, a seam being tested from the other side. Aurora could smell something then—cold iron and wet stone, threaded with that sharp sweet plant smell from earlier. She backed away a step. The breathing behind her resumed its pattern, closer, matching neither her tempo nor any tempo she could recognize. The whisper slid under her skin again, threading itself into the spaces between thoughts. “You wanted this,” it murmured. “You came.” Aurora’s mouth went dry. She hadn’t told anyone she was here tonight. She hadn’t even told herself with certainty beyond the simple fact that the Heartstone had pulsed and that she’d followed it. But the grove knew her reasons with the same intimacy it knew her name. Her eyes flicked to the standing stones behind her. They were farther now. Or nearer. The distance held no stability. The oak trunks seemed to reposition with her gaze, as if the grove was adjusting the corridor to keep her from reaching the boundary. She could feel the time behavior in her bones even before she could name it. The way the night stretched, the way her heartbeats sounded too separate from the silence between them. Aurora pressed her pendant tighter, then let go, forcing her hand to relax. Cool-headed, intelligent. Quick out-of-the-box thinking. That was who she was. So she did something she didn’t have time to consider as a strategy. She spoke again, but not to whatever listened behind her. “Brendan,” she said suddenly, the name of her father bursting out of her like a flare. “Jennifer.” Her mother. Familiar anchors. Real anchors. Ordinary humans with ordinary names. The grove didn’t answer. The whisper paused. Aurora kept speaking, words tumbling in careful order: where she’d grown up in Cardiff, the street name she’d used to walk, the university halls she’d pretended to want, the flat above Silas’ bar where she kept her keys in the same chipped bowl every night. Each fact was a nail she hammered into the dark. The air around her tightened, and the shimmer quivered as if irritated. She felt the darker shape lean toward her—she felt it the way you feel a gaze even with your eyes closed—then, abruptly, it pulled away. The breathing behind her faltered, as if it couldn’t decide whether to follow or wait. Aurora didn’t wait. She turned toward the nearest standing stone and ran—not sprinting, because she refused to give the grove the satisfaction of panic. She ran like someone late to a delivery but stubborn about making it on time. Her shoes struck damp earth. Leaves brushed her legs. The wildflowers blurred into streaks of too-bright color. Behind her, the grove’s silence broke. A sound like a crowd exhaling filled the clearing—soft, collective, unplaceable. It wasn’t a roar. It wasn’t even threatening in volume. It was threatening in intent, like being surrounded without seeing anyone’s face. Aurora reached for the oak’s bark with her left hand, scar burning under her fingertips. The moment her skin touched the boundary stone, the pendant’s warmth snapped to cold. The heat vanished as if someone had pinched it out. The air changed. Not gently. It lurched—like stepping off an invisible stair. The clearing stretched, then corrected itself, and Aurora stumbled, catching her weight on the stone with a gasp that tasted like metal and wildflower sweetness. She looked up. The standing stones were aligned now. The path back toward the park’s outer trees looked real again, the spacing consistent, the dark behaving like dark. A few leaves shook in an actual breeze. Aurora didn’t stop to test it. She ran until her lungs burned and until the whispering in her head became nothing more than the memory of a voice. When she finally stopped beneath the first patch of ordinary lamplight, she realized her hands were shaking so hard her fingers couldn’t quite work the pendant clasp. She forced it open with clumsy determination, watching the silver chain slide against her skin. The Heartstone sat in her palm, deep crimson and still, its inner glow faint. But it pulsed once more, warm as a heartbeat. Not toward the shimmer. Toward the place in the dark behind her where the grove had been.
created_at"2026-03-18T10:33:31.645Z" 3/18/2026, 10:33:31 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-nano-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency3212
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time21023
tokens_prompt812
tokens_completion4728
native_tokens_prompt742
native_tokens_completion4308
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning508
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0055334
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"0c835f2e-c18d-4e8c-b245-e1e3bd08b97f"
id"resp_08c01328f74fdb740169ba7f7bb5408194aa5676b40bddb81d"
is_byokfalse
latency181
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-nano-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773830011-jTpEsfCuyVsg1FTD4Gnt"
upstream_id"resp_08c01328f74fdb740169ba7f7bb5408194aa5676b40bddb81d"
total_cost0.0055334
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
0.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags8
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"she said softly [softly]"
1"she said suddenly [suddenly]"
dialogueSentences10
tagDensity0.8
leniency1
rawRatio0.25
effectiveRatio0.25
78.81% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3067
totalAiIsmAdverbs13
found
0
adverb"quickly"
count2
1
adverb"slightly"
count3
2
adverb"softly"
count1
3
adverb"precisely"
count1
4
adverb"slowly"
count2
5
adverb"deliberately"
count1
6
adverb"very"
count1
7
adverb"suddenly"
count1
8
adverb"gently"
count1
highlights
0"quickly"
1"slightly"
2"softly"
3"precisely"
4"slowly"
5"deliberately"
6"very"
7"suddenly"
8"gently"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
23.38% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3067
totalAiIsms47
found
0
word"furrowed"
count1
1
word"familiar"
count3
2
word"chill"
count1
3
word"pulsed"
count4
4
word"flicked"
count2
5
word"pulse"
count4
6
word"warmth"
count4
7
word"silence"
count6
8
word"aligned"
count3
9
word"weight"
count2
10
word"footsteps"
count1
11
word"whisper"
count7
12
word"stomach"
count2
13
word"could feel"
count2
14
word"echo"
count1
15
word"rhythmic"
count1
16
word"resolved"
count1
17
word"quivered"
count1
18
word"lurched"
count1
highlights
0"furrowed"
1"familiar"
2"chill"
3"pulsed"
4"flicked"
5"pulse"
6"warmth"
7"silence"
8"aligned"
9"weight"
10"footsteps"
11"whisper"
12"stomach"
13"could feel"
14"echo"
15"rhythmic"
16"resolved"
17"quivered"
18"lurched"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells3
narrationSentences289
matches
0"t with fear"
1"t with warmth"
2"d with warmth"
93.43% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount9
narrationSentences289
filterMatches
0"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
1"tried to"
2"happened to"
3"tended to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences292
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen45
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3038
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions23
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"A ridiculous thought, she told herself."
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions47
wordCount2994
uniqueNames14
maxNameDensity0.94
worstName"Aurora"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Aurora"
discoveredNames
Richmond1
Park1
London1
Evan1
Heartstone3
Hel2
Earth1
Fae-touched1
Rory1
Aurora28
English1
Familiar1
Cardiff1
Like4
persons
0"Evan"
1"Heartstone"
2"Earth"
3"Rory"
4"Aurora"
5"Familiar"
6"Like"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"London"
3"Hel"
4"English"
5"Cardiff"
globalScore1
windowScore1
32.20% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences191
glossingSentenceCount9
matches
0"felt like it was arriving late, as thou"
1"seemed closer than they were a heartbeat ago"
2"sounded like she was speaking to a shop as"
3"looked like heat haze, except the air was"
4"sounded like memory"
5"felt like being copied without understa"
6"looked like it had always been there"
7"tasted like metal and wildflower sweetnes"
8"quite work the pendant clasp"
35.42% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches5
per1kWords1.646
wordCount3038
matches
0"not just damp leaves and rot, but something sharp"
1"Not physically, not like a wall, but like a refusal"
2"not like a wall, but like a refusal"
3"not with fear alone but with recognition of the impossible"
4"neither her tempo nor"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount4
totalSentences292
matches
0"caring that it"
1"was that it"
2"hated that her"
3"understand that fear"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs117
mean25.97
std20.7
cv0.797
sampleLengths
089
16
252
357
425
560
628
77
899
934
1042
113
1253
1323
1440
157
1648
174
184
1943
2045
215
2224
2334
249
2536
2651
278
2858
2912
305
3147
3257
3333
344
354
3625
372
3831
3921
403
4137
4213
4342
4414
4537
4628
4710
4843
497
99.19% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences289
matches
0"been given"
1"being copied"
2"being tested"
3"being surrounded"
4"were aligned"
23.23% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount14
totalVerbs528
matches
0"was arriving"
1"were taking"
2"was speaking"
3"wasn’t stepping"
4"was trying"
5"was happening"
6"was learning"
7"wasn’t escalating"
8"was building"
9"wasn’t showing"
10"was showing"
11"was adjusting"
12"wasn’t even threatening"
13"were shaking"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount32
semicolonCount2
flaggedSentences25
totalSentences292
ratio0.086
matches
0"The city noise behind her had thinned to a suggestion—distant traffic, the occasional bark of a late-night dog—until even that seemed to belong to another world."
1"She’d fled London to get away from an abusive ex named Evan, and she’d learned—painfully, efficiently—that fear didn’t care how old you were or how sensible your reasons were."
2"She hadn’t noticed it when she left home above Silas’ bar; it had started pulsing only once she’d passed the last familiar street."
3"Now, under the trees, it gave a steady rhythm like a second heartbeat—slow, deliberate, certain."
4"The ground changed under her shoes the way wet wood changes under fingertips—still earth, but not the same earth she knew."
5"Her wrist tingled next, the small crescent scar on her left wrist—childhood pain—tightening as if some old wound remembered it had a job."
6"Her hair—shoulder-length black, straight as a drawn line—lifted at the ends and then settled again."
7"They shifted the way an audience shifts when something in the center catches their attention—subtle, coordinated, and slightly delayed."
8"She blinked once—hard—and the impression changed."
9"They were still there—she could see the oak trunks, the dark roots gripping the ground—but the spacing had altered."
10"The pulse intensified, warmer now, and with it came a sensation behind her eyes—pressure, like altitude sickness."
11"She had read enough to understand that fear was an emotion; it didn’t have to be a verdict."
12"But when she twisted her head, all she saw were trees and wildflowers—nothing else."
13"Their colors—bright, clean—had dulled at the edges, turning the way bruises turn after too much pressure."
14"She could feel the surface of the other realm at the edge of sensation—like the moment before you touch a hot pan, when your mind already knows the burn is coming and your hand hesitates anyway."
15"The pattern was wrong—two breaths, then a pause too long, then another two, like the listener was learning how she breathed and failing to match it."
16"It slid across the space the way a shadow slides when a light changes, except there hadn’t been any light change—only her own shifting gaze."
17"She lifted her heel and saw a faint pattern pressed into the surface—like an imprint of bare feet, too long, too narrow, spacing incorrect for any human stride."
18"The screen lit the inside of her palm with an antiseptic glow, and for a moment she felt better—proof she lived in the right world."
19"Not a doorway exactly—more like a tear in the air, a seam being tested from the other side."
20"Aurora could smell something then—cold iron and wet stone, threaded with that sharp sweet plant smell from earlier."
21"She felt the darker shape lean toward her—she felt it the way you feel a gaze even with your eyes closed—then, abruptly, it pulled away."
22"She turned toward the nearest standing stone and ran—not sprinting, because she refused to give the grove the satisfaction of panic."
23"A sound like a crowd exhaling filled the clearing—soft, collective, unplaceable."
24"It lurched—like stepping off an invisible stair."
99.22% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount269
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount11
adverbRatio0.040892193308550186
lyAdverbCount4
lyAdverbRatio0.01486988847583643
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences292
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences292
mean10.4
std7.63
cv0.734
sampleLengths
020
126
215
328
46
54
64
77
87
98
1022
1120
123
1329
145
1525
1622
1723
1815
198
2014
216
227
2321
2432
2512
2617
2717
286
296
307
3115
3220
332
342
3518
363
3723
389
396
402
412
4211
4312
442
459
4615
479
4816
497
36.64% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats39
diversityRatio0.2191780821917808
totalSentences292
uniqueOpeners64
88.38% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount7
totalSentences264
matches
0"Somewhere between Earth and the"
1"Just a signal, like a"
2"Only a curtain of shadowing"
3"Then the whisper stopped."
4"Instead, she looked down at"
5"Instead, the shimmer between the"
6"Then she realized the screen"
ratio0.027
65.45% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount102
totalSentences264
matches
0"Their trunks were thick and"
1"She held her breath and"
2"She was twenty-five."
3"She’d fled London to get"
4"Her reason sat heavy at"
5"She hadn’t noticed it when"
6"She stepped toward the first"
7"Their colors looked too clean"
8"She could see red, white,"
9"It was in the way"
10"She reached the boundary stones"
11"She drew a slow breath"
12"Her wrist tingled next, the"
13"She had forgotten how that"
14"It was an itch of"
15"She flicked the screen off"
16"She took one step between"
17"It was gentle, almost courteous."
18"Her hair—shoulder—length black, straight as"
19"She stared into it, forcing"
ratio0.386
67.95% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount207
totalSentences264
matches
0"Aurora paused at the last"
1"The city noise behind her"
2"Their trunks were thick and"
3"She held her breath and"
4"Leaves ticking against leaves."
5"The slow, patient hush of"
6"A branch snapping somewhere she"
7"Every noise felt like it"
8"Aurora tightened her grip on"
9"She was twenty-five."
10"She’d fled London to get"
11"Her reason sat heavy at"
12"The Heartstone pendant warmed against"
13"She hadn’t noticed it when"
14"Aurora had come for that"
15"She stepped toward the first"
16"The ground changed under her"
17"The soil held a cooler"
18"Wildflowers grew between the oaks"
19"Their colors looked too clean"
ratio0.784
18.94% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences264
matches
0"Now, under the trees, it"
ratio0.004
87.91% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences130
technicalSentenceCount10
matches
0"Their trunks were thick and furrowed, their bark dark with damp, and between them the night looked fractionally deeper, as if something beneath it had its own g…"
1"Every noise felt like it was arriving late, as though the grove were taking its time deciding what she ought to hear."
2"The Heartstone pendant warmed against her sternum through the fabric of her coat, a faint, internal heat that didn’t match the air."
3"Her wrist tingled next, the small crescent scar on her left wrist—childhood pain—tightening as if some old wound remembered it had a job."
4"Under the quiet, there was another layer: a whisper too distant to make words, but intimate in tone, as if lips hovered near her ear and knew her name well enou…"
5"In that emptiness, she heard something else: a soft, rhythmic breathing that was not her own, not aligned to her pace."
6"The only people who called her Rory were friends, people who spoke it with warmth."
7"It was showing a blank interface with a single line of text, as if her phone had opened an app she didn’t remember installing."
8"The oak trunks seemed to reposition with her gaze, as if the grove was adjusting the corridor to keep her from reaching the boundary."
9"The clearing stretched, then corrected itself, and Aurora stumbled, catching her weight on the stone with a gasp that tasted like metal and wildflower sweetness…"
62.50% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags8
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"she said, and the word came out too calm"
7.14% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags7
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"it murmured (murmur)"
1"Aurora kept (keep)"
dialogueSentences10
tagDensity0.7
leniency1
rawRatio0.286
effectiveRatio0.286
70.6601%