Run: 2026-03-18-01KM08A1JB4ZZWAAXARZQ7TNXP

“Tell me again why we’re robbing a room full of six-year-olds,” Bill whispered. “Because,” Molly said, peering through the rain-streaked café window, “they’ve got a mountain of presents, no adults are guarding them properly, and half the guests will be too busy eating cake with their hands to notice.” Bill frowned into his tea. “You make it sound like a civic service.” “I do my best.” “I’m serious, Molly. This is a children’s birthday party.” “Yes, Bill. I gathered that from the banner that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUCY in glitter.” “I don’t like it.” “You don’t like many things. Last week you said you didn’t like my trench coat.” “It looked suspicious.” “It is supposed to look suspicious. That’s the point.” Bill sighed. “What exactly is the plan?” Molly smiled the smile of a woman who had never once been discouraged by bad judgment. “We go in as entertainers.” Bill blinked. “Entertainers.” “Of course. You’re the clown.” “I’m not wearing a clown nose.” “You’re not wearing a clown nose,” Molly agreed. “You’re wearing a very tasteful bow tie and carrying a box of tricks.” “I don’t have a box of tricks.” “You do now. I stole one from a magician’s car boot sale.” “That sentence should not exist.” “Yet here we are.” Bill stared at her. “And what are you?” “The balloon lady.” “You hate balloons.” “That’s why I’ll be good at it. Nobody suspects a woman who is deeply irritated by latex.” Bill set down his cup. “Molly, children scream at balloons for fun. This is not a solid profession.” “It is tonight.” “They’ll ask questions.” “Children always ask questions. The trick is to answer faster than they can think.” Bill rubbed his forehead. “I’m not convinced.” “You’re never convinced. Remember the bank job?” “We got chased by a goose.” “That goose was very determined. And besides, we got away.” “We got away because the goose got tired.” “Exactly. Timing is everything.” Bill squinted at her. “You’ve thought this through, haven’t you?” Molly took a sip of coffee. “Of course I have.” “That pause was too long.” “I had to remember which thought I was on.” Bill leaned back. “Let’s hear it.” “We enter during the karaoke portion.” “There’s karaoke?” “According to the flyer, yes. An alarming amount of karaoke. The birthday girl’s uncle insists on singing ‘My Heart Will Go On’ in a pirate hat.” Bill made a face. “That does sound loud.” “Loud is our friend. Noise masks movement.” “You say that like you’re on a battlefield.” “I am, Bill. Every party is a battlefield if you’re holding cake and grudges.” He snorted despite himself. “Go on.” “I distract the parents by complimenting the decorations. You distract the children by producing magic.” “I can’t do magic.” “Yes, you can. You once made a coin disappear.” “I dropped it.” “And yet, to the child watching, it vanished. That’s showmanship.” Bill looked unconvinced. “Then what?” “Then while everyone is applauding your ‘final trick,’ I collect the presents.” “Collect?” “Steal.” “I preferred collect.” “I know. You’re sentimental.” “You’re impossible.” “And you adore me for it.” Bill opened his mouth, closed it, then said, “How many presents are we talking about?” Molly’s eyes gleamed. “A respectable stack.” “That’s not a number.” “It’s a vibe.” Bill groaned. “We can’t just march in and take all the presents.” “Why not?” “Because it’s wrong.” Molly tilted her head. “Bill, we have broken into a mayor’s office, a biscuit factory, and a lunar observatory.” “The observatory was for a telescope.” “We still had to climb a fence.” “That was your idea.” “And a splendid one.” He tapped the table. “The children?” Molly softened, just slightly. “Bill, they’ll be fine. They’ll still have cake. They’ll still have games. They’ll still have that odd little magician who can’t find his rabbit.” “What rabbit?” Molly paused. “There is no rabbit. That’s what makes it an odd little magician.” Bill stared at her. She sighed. “Fine. There might be a rabbit.” “You stole a rabbit?” “I borrowed it.” “From where?” “From a pet shop. It looked bored.” Bill covered his face. “This is spiraling.” Molly reached across the table and patted his wrist. “Bill, listen to me. We get the presents, we leave before the candles are blown out, and nobody gets hurt.” “And the children?” “They’ll have stories.” “That’s not reassuring.” “It is if you’re a thief.” Bill looked at the rain, then at her, then at the tiny plastic spoon in his teacup. “One question.” “Yes?” “If the magician is carrying a rabbit, and I’m doing ‘final tricks,’ what are you doing exactly?” Molly grinned. “I’m the one who says, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, behold the mystery of the missing presents,’ while walking out with the lot.” Bill shook his head, smiling despite himself. “You’re terrible.” “I’m efficient.” “You’re going to get us arrested.” Molly stood, tugging on her gloves. “Not tonight.” “And why’s that?” She tipped her chin toward the door. “Because the party starts in ten minutes, the uncle in the pirate hat is already singing, and I’ve just remembered I’m allergic to balloons.” Bill groaned and rose to follow. “This better be worth it.” Molly flashed him a bright, wicked smile. “Bill, we’re criminals. It never is. That’s why it’s fun.”