Run: 2026-03-18-01KM08JJY5VY88PDJ7A2NH36TZ

Run Details

Duration:
37.1s
Cost:
$0.034838
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The rain had made Soho look washed out, as if someone had held the city under a tap too long and forgotten to dry it. It clung to the pavement outside The Raven’s Nest in black sheets, turned the green neon sign above the door into a smeared glow, and brought in a chill every time the door opened. Inside, the bar held its own weather: amber light, stale warmth, the smell of spilled beer trapped in old wood, lemon polish, and the faint metallic tang of wet coats steaming by the radiator. Aurora Carter sat on the stool nearest the end of the bar with both hands wrapped around a glass of cola gone flat at the rim. She had finished her shift an hour ago, but she hadn’t gone upstairs yet. There were evenings when the flat above the bar felt too close, all four walls full of her own thoughts. Tonight she’d drifted downstairs instead, as if one floor lower might make her less aware of the life she was not quite living. Silas was behind the bar, moving with his habitual economy, the slight hitch in his left leg barely visible unless you looked for it. He had his sleeves rolled to the forearms, silver signet ring flashing each time he reached for a bottle or wiped a glass. Old maps covered the walls behind him, their colors faded to tobacco and sea-glass, and black-and-white photographs stared out from their frames: dockworkers, alleys, a bombed-out corner of London, faces long dead and stubbornly present. The room felt built from memory. Rory liked it for that. Memory was honest about what it cost. Silas set a pint down in front of a man at the far end, listened to something the man said without seeming to, then glanced at Rory. She gave him a small nod. He answered with the barest lift of his chin and returned to the sink. The door opened again, letting in a blade of cold and a burst of traffic noise from the street. Rory looked up without meaning to. The woman standing in the doorway shook rain from the hem of a dark coat. Her hair was shorter than Rory remembered, cut blunt at her jaw and tucked neatly behind one ear. She wore no makeup that Rory could see, which made her face sharper, more severe, the kind of face that would be taken seriously in meetings. There was a silver hoop in one ear. Her shoulders were straighter than they used to be. She looked older, yes, but not in years. In decisions. In the sort of life that trains itself into a body. Rory knew her before the woman’s eyes found hers. For a second the room seemed to tilt. Not because the woman was anyone extraordinary—though to Rory she had once been everything—but because she had believed, for years, in the kind of distance that made old names feel like they belonged to other people. Eva. The name hit her with the force of a hand on the sternum. Eva’s face changed in the same instant, surprise softening into something stunned and almost wary. She took one step inside, stopped, then laughed once under her breath, like she couldn’t quite decide whether the universe had made a joke or a threat. “Rory.” The sound of it, after so long, made Rory’s skin prickle. No one in London called her that the way Eva did. Here it was always Carter, sometimes Aurora when people wanted something from her, occasionally Laila if someone had only known one version of her and missed the others. But Rory belonged to Cardiff, to cheap tea in chipped mugs and rainy bus stops and one particular kitchen where both of them had once sat on the floor eating crisps out of the bag. She set her glass down carefully. “Eva.” Eva looked at her for a long moment, rain still darkening her coat. Then her mouth did something not quite a smile. “Well. This is awkward.” That, of all things, loosened the knot in Rory’s chest. She huffed a laugh into her hand. “You think?” Eva crossed the room slowly, as if she were afraid quick movement might break whatever brittle thing had happened between them. Her eyes moved over Rory’s face, took in her hair, the black shoulder-length cut that had once been longer, the blue-white scar at her wrist when her hand tightened around the glass. Rory was aware, suddenly, of everything she had become conscious of over the years: the way she held her shoulders, the habit of keeping one hip angled away as though bracing for impact, the careful calm she wore like a coat. Eva stopped at the stool beside her, but didn’t sit. “I thought you were in Cardiff.” “Used to be.” “That’s not an answer.” “No,” Rory said. “It isn’t.” Silas, unhelpful in the way only an observant man could be, came down the line with a clean cloth over one shoulder. He took in the scene in a single glance. His gaze paused on Eva, then on Rory, then he set a fresh glass on the bar a little too deliberately. “Evening,” he said. “Evening,” Eva answered. Silas nodded once and moved away with the practiced discretion of a man who had spent most of his life knowing when not to ask questions. Rory watched him go and found herself absurdly grateful. Eva slid into the stool beside her at last, careful with the hem of her coat. Up close, Rory saw the changes she’d only caught in outline: the faint crease between Eva’s brows, the confidence in the line of her jaw, the way her hands no longer seemed to hover or fidget. There was a watch on her wrist that cost more than Rory’s monthly rent. Her nails were short and polished a deep, near-black red. One ring glinted on her left hand—simple gold, no stone. Rory’s stomach tightened for no reason she wanted to name. “You look…” Eva began, then stopped. “Bad?” Rory suggested. Eva snorted. “Don’t be dramatic.” “I’m English now. It’s contagious.” That got her a real smile, brief and involuntary. It changed her face enough that Rory saw the girl underneath the new shape of her. She remembered Eva with wind-tangled hair and cheap eyeliner, sleeves pushed over her hands because she was always cold, the sharp tongue, the quick laugh, the way she’d leaned against Rory in the sixth-form common room and said, with absolute certainty, that one day they would both leave Cardiff and never come back. They had left. Just not together. “I didn’t know you were in London,” Eva said. “I didn’t know you were either.” “I’ve been here three years.” Rory blinked. “Three years.” “Don’t sound so offended.” “I’m not offended.” She was. Not exactly at Eva, or not only. At the fact of time. At how it could pass while a person was busy surviving and then, one night, turn around and show you what it had taken. “You could’ve mentioned it.” Eva’s eyes flicked over her face. “Could’ve?” Rory looked down at her hands. The crescent scar on her left wrist pale against her skin, the glass smudged by her fingerprints. “You know what I mean.” Eva was quiet for a moment. The bar murmured around them: the low clink of glasses, the murmur of a couple by the back booth, the hiss of the dishwasher somewhere behind the partitions. Outside, a bus sighed through the rain. Then Eva said, very softly, “You disappeared.” Rory’s throat tightened. She kept her gaze on the condensation ring her glass was leaving on the wood. “I left.” “You left a note on your mum’s fridge and changed your number.” “That’s not disappearing.” “It felt like it.” The words landed without force, which somehow made them worse. Rory stared at the bar top until the grain in the wood blurred. She had rehearsed this conversation in fragments over the years and hated herself in every version. She had imagined being angry, or apologetic, or clever enough to avoid both. Instead she felt tired. Tired in the deep, marrow way, as if she had been carrying a box of things she never meant to keep. “You were safer without me around,” she said at last. Eva turned to look at her fully. “That’s a ridiculous thing to say.” Rory almost laughed, but there was nothing funny in it. “It’s true.” “It’s your opinion.” “It’s fact.” Eva’s mouth flattened. “Whose facts?” Rory flinched, just once. Eva saw it. Of course she saw it. She had always been the one who could spot the crack before it widened. The bar light caught Eva’s face in a way that made her look briefly younger, and Rory was hit with a memory so ordinary it hurt: the two of them on the Cardiff seafront with the wind threatening to steal their chips, Eva complaining that Rory took too long to choose anything, Rory saying that being picky and being careful were not the same thing, Eva bumping her shoulder and calling her an old woman at twenty-one. They had been invincible then, or had thought they were. That was the same lie every young person tells herself until life proves how little it cares. Eva said, “I called you. After.” Rory’s fingers tightened on the glass. “I know.” “I texted.” “I know.” “You never answered.” “I know.” There was more behind that—too much to sort through in a bar with a hundred eyes and one ex-intelligence officer polishing glasses in the corner—but the truth sat between them anyway, ugly and plain. Rory had seen the calls, the messages. She had read every line with a stone in her stomach and then done nothing because doing something would have meant admitting she needed help, and needing help had felt too much like failure. Evan had made sure of that. He had taken her life and narrowed it until only fear fit inside it. Leaving had been the first honest thing she’d done in months. Silence had followed because she didn’t know how to be known after that. Eva’s voice had gone quieter. “Did you think I wouldn’t care?” Rory looked up then. The question in Eva’s face wasn’t accusation, not exactly. It was worse than that. It was the old hurt of someone who had offered her hand and found the other person already halfway gone. “No,” Rory said. Her own voice came out rough. “I thought you’d be angry.” Eva gave a short, humorless laugh. “I was.” “I know.” “I’m still angry.” “I’d be disappointed if you weren’t.” That earned her a look, sharp and almost fond despite everything. Eva leaned one elbow on the bar. “You’ve got jokes now.” “I’ve always had jokes.” “You’ve got better delivery, then.” Rory smiled despite herself, and felt the sting of it in her throat. The neon outside flickered green through the glass at their backs, painting the rim of Eva’s jaw and the edge of her coat in a faint sick light. Rory wondered, absurdly, whether she still smoked, whether she still took sugar in her tea, whether she still said sorry when she meant thank you. The old details crowded in like stubborn ghosts. Eva glanced around the room. “This is your place?” “Not exactly.” “Then why do you look like you own it?” Rory’s gaze drifted to Silas, who was pretending not to listen with the skill of a man who had once listened for a living. “I live upstairs.” Eva looked back at her, eyebrows lifting. “You live above a bar.” “Yes.” “That feels on purpose.” Rory gave a shrug that felt more honest than any explanation she could offer. “It’s cheap.” Eva studied her. In the reflection of the bottles behind the bar, Rory could see how different they both were now. Eva looked like she had learned how to occupy space without apologizing for it. Rory looked like someone who had made herself smaller in order to survive and had never quite remembered how to expand again. Maybe that was what stung most: not that Eva had changed, but that Rory had been left to measure the distance between then and now by herself. Eva reached for the coaster beneath Rory’s glass and turned it once between her fingers. “You’re not in Cardiff because of him, are you?” The question came gently, which made Rory’s stomach knot harder. She stared at the coaster. “No.” Eva waited. Rory could feel her patience like heat. At last Rory said, “Not only because of him.” Eva’s jaw flexed. For a second she looked as if she might argue, then she swallowed whatever it was and nodded once. “Right.” Silence settled. Not empty. Loaded. The kind that filled with everything they had never said because it had seemed easier to leave their lives in separate boxes, sealed and labeled and forgotten in the back of a cupboard. At some point Silas came over and set a fresh pint in front of Eva and a club soda in front of Rory without being asked. Rory looked up at him. He gave her a small, unreadable glance, the sort he used on people who had survived things they had not yet named, then moved away again. Eva watched him go. “He know?” Rory let out a breath. “He knows enough.” “That sounds ominous.” “That’s because it is.” Eva’s mouth twitched, but her attention returned to Rory’s face, steady and unblinking. “You know I looked for you.” Rory’s chest tightened again, but this time it was different. Sharper. Harder to dismiss. “I know.” “I went to your flat.” Rory closed her eyes briefly. She remembered the flat in Cardiff, the hall light always too dim, the smell of old carpet. The note on the fridge. Her mother crying in the kitchen with one hand over her mouth so she could keep speaking. The taxi waiting outside. The sound of her own pulse. “When?” she asked. “The week you left. Then again after Christmas. Then when I heard…” Eva stopped. Her fingers tightened around the beer glass. “It doesn’t matter.” Rory opened her eyes. Eva’s expression had gone carefully blank, but Rory saw the crack in it. Heard it too, in the way the sentence had broken off. “Heard what?” Rory asked. Eva shook her head once. “Nothing.” “That’s a lie.” “Yes,” Eva said. “It is.” Rory looked at her, really looked. At the careful coat and the new watch and the expensive certainty. At the woman she had not seen in years and had still, impossibly, thought of as something unchanged. There was a tiredness in Eva’s face that had not been there before, a tiredness that had nothing to do with sleep. “Tell me,” Rory said. Eva dragged in a breath. “I heard you’d been hurt.” The room seemed to narrow. Rory did not ask by whom. The answer sat between them with its own rancid weight. Her fingers slid against the glass until her knuckles ached. A pulse beat hard in her wrist, just above the little crescent scar. She became very aware of the room around them—the low voices, the clatter from the sink, the rain pressing against the windows—and how all of it continued as if the worst parts of a person’s life were as ordinary as weather. “I’m fine,” she said automatically. Eva gave her a look that was almost pitying, except that Eva had never been able to do pity without making it look like anger. “You always say that when you’re not.” Rory let out a breath that was halfway to a laugh and halfway to surrender. “And you always say things like that like you’ve got the right.” “Maybe I do.” “Maybe you don’t.” Eva held her gaze. For a moment the years between them seemed to thin, to tremble like skin over water. Rory could see exactly where the old friendship would have gone once, if life had not broken it apart: an argument in the street, a shove on the shoulder, an offended laugh, then a hug that solved nothing and everything. But those people were gone now, or altered beyond easy retrieval. “I was angry because I was scared,” Eva said at last. Rory swallowed. “I know.” “And because you didn’t trust me.” That one landed cleanly. Rory felt it settle under her ribs. The truth of it was too simple to defend against. “I did trust you,” she said, but the words sounded thin even to her. Eva’s gaze softened a fraction. “Then why didn’t you stay?” Rory looked down at her hands again, at the scar, at the trembling edge of her thumbnail where she had bitten it raw weeks ago and never let it heal. The answer was not elegant. It had never been. “Because staying meant I’d have to let someone see what he’d done.” Eva was silent. Her face changed in small increments, the anger giving way to something older and sadder. Recognition, maybe. Or understanding. Rory hated both and needed them all the same. When Eva spoke, her voice was quieter than before. “You could have let me see.” Rory felt that like a bruise pressed too hard. “I know.” This time the apology she had been holding for years gathered itself at the back of her throat, but it did not come. Not because she didn’t mean it. Because she meant it too much, and because words were always so inadequate against the wreckage they were meant to explain. Outside, a bus hissed to a stop. Someone laughed near the door and let in a breath of wet street air. The green neon sign buzzed overhead, then steadied. In the reflection of the bottles, Rory saw the two of them side by side: one woman sharpened by London and ambition and whatever else had carried her this far; the other with rain on her coat and too much history in her eyes. Eva lifted her glass, took a single sip, then set it down. “I’m here for a few days.” Rory looked at her. “For work?” Eva made a face that said the answer was complicated enough to deserve a separate conversation. “Sort of.” Rory waited. Eva exhaled. “I thought I’d be in and out.” “But you came here.” “I didn’t know you were here.” “No,” Rory said softly. “You didn’t.” Neither of them smiled at that. There was no clean place for one. Instead Eva reached into her coat, pulled out a folded card, and set it on the bar between them. Rory did not touch it right away. “I’m staying in Bloomsbury,” Eva said. “If you want to talk. Properly.” Rory stared at the card as if it might shift if she looked too hard. “I don’t know if I’m good at properly anymore,” she said. Eva’s expression gentled, just enough to hurt. “Neither am I.” Rory finally picked up the card. It was thick, cream-colored, her name embossed in dark blue. Not a number scribbled on the back of a receipt, not a temporary thing. A real one. A door left open. She turned it over in her fingers. “You always did like the dramatic entrance.” Eva snorted. “You say that like you didn’t nearly faint when you saw me.” “I did not nearly faint.” “You absolutely did.” Rory looked at her, and for the first time since Eva had walked in, something unclenched inside her that she had not known was locked. It was not forgiveness. It was not even relief. It was simply the fact of being seen by someone who remembered the shape she had been before the fracture. Silas appeared at the end of the bar, saying nothing, merely setting a fresh bowl of peanuts beside them as if by accident and then retreating again. Rory almost laughed. Of course he had decided this conversation required peanuts. Eva noticed too and smiled despite herself. “He’s terrifying.” “He likes that.” “Obviously.” Rory ran her thumb over the edge of the card. “I didn’t answer because I didn’t know how to come back.” Eva’s face changed at that, all at once losing some of its sharpness. “You don’t have to come back to the same place.” The words hung there. Rory looked at her old friend—no, not old, not in the sense that mattered. Just old to her, old in the way certain memories were old. Eva’s gaze was steady, tired, and patient in a way she had not been at twenty. Time had not simply taken things from her. It had made room. Rory understood, with a sudden ache that felt almost like grace, that some regrets did not vanish when spoken. They only stopped being sealed inside a person like a live thing. She slid the card into her pocket. Eva watched the movement, then gave a small nod, as if accepting something neither of them could name yet. Outside, the rain kept falling over Soho, indifferent and continuous. Inside, the Nest hummed with its usual low life, the maps on the wall and the photographs and the bar polished to a dull sheen of memory. Rory sat with her hands around a glass she had not finished, looking at the woman across from her and realizing that time had not made them strangers exactly. It had made them more precise. “What now?” Eva asked, and for once there was no performance in it. Rory drew in a slow breath. She could feel the scar on her wrist under her sleeve, the one she’d had since childhood, the one that had outlived whole versions of her life. She looked at Eva’s face, at the years there, and at the open door implied by a cream card in her pocket. “Now,” Rory said, because it was the truest thing she had, “we start with a drink that isn’t terrible.” Eva smiled then, small and real and aching at the edges. “That,” she said, “sounds like a beginning.”
created_at"2026-03-18T10:41:31.087Z" 3/18/2026, 10:41:31 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency16609
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time36853
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion5881
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion7607
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning3012
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0348375
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_0c476cd752d6480e0169ba815b251081969b40139dcaea7efb"
is_byokfalse
latency165
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773830491-alEoq6cpRDrtL5lwg3xP"
upstream_id"resp_0c476cd752d6480e0169ba815b251081969b40139dcaea7efb"
total_cost0.0348375
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags25
adverbTagCount3
adverbTags
0"Eva began then [then]"
1"she said automatically [automatically]"
2"Rory said softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences117
tagDensity0.214
leniency0.427
rawRatio0.12
effectiveRatio0.051
85.07% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3684
totalAiIsmAdverbs11
found
0
adverb"carefully"
count2
1
adverb"slowly"
count1
2
adverb"suddenly"
count1
3
adverb"deliberately"
count1
4
adverb"very"
count2
5
adverb"softly"
count2
6
adverb"gently"
count1
7
adverb"really"
count1
highlights
0"carefully"
1"slowly"
2"suddenly"
3"deliberately"
4"very"
5"softly"
6"gently"
7"really"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
78.28% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3684
totalAiIsms16
found
0
word"chill"
count1
1
word"warmth"
count1
2
word"stomach"
count3
3
word"flicked"
count1
4
word"silence"
count2
5
word"flickered"
count1
6
word"could feel"
count2
7
word"unreadable"
count1
8
word"pulse"
count2
9
word"weight"
count1
10
word"absolutely"
count1
highlights
0"chill"
1"warmth"
2"stomach"
3"flicked"
4"silence"
5"flickered"
6"could feel"
7"unreadable"
8"pulse"
9"weight"
10"absolutely"
66.67% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow2
found
0
label"let out a breath"
count2
highlights
0"let out a breath"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences263
matches
0"felt the sting"
99.40% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount4
hedgeCount4
narrationSentences263
filterMatches
0"look"
1"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences354
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen78
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3676
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions31
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions172
wordCount3209
uniqueNames11
maxNameDensity2.46
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Soho2
Raven1
Nest2
Carter2
London3
Rory79
Eva69
Aurora2
Laila1
Cardiff4
Silas7
persons
0"Carter"
1"Rory"
2"Eva"
3"Aurora"
4"Laila"
5"Silas"
places
0"Soho"
1"Raven"
2"London"
3"Cardiff"
globalScore0.269
windowScore0
54.37% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences183
glossingSentenceCount7
matches
0"quite decide whether the universe had made a joke or a threat"
1"not quite a smile"
2"as though bracing for impact, the careful calm she wore like a coat"
3"looked like she had learned how to occupy"
4"looked like someone who had made herself"
5"seemed easier to leave their lives in separate boxes, sealed and labeled and forgotten in the back of a cupboard"
6"as if accepting something neither of them could name yet"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.272
wordCount3676
matches
0"not that Eva had changed, but"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences354
matches
0"complaining that Rory"
1"realizing that time"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs168
mean21.88
std25.44
cv1.163
sampleLengths
093
183
2100
347
425
597
69
744
81
913
1042
111
1285
137
1426
1519
1694
1716
183
194
205
2152
223
233
2426
259
2686
2710
286
293
305
315
3278
336
349
356
365
374
384
3945
407
4128
4241
437
4420
4512
463
474
4810
4967
98.59% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount5
totalSentences263
matches
0"been left"
1"being asked"
2"were gone"
3"were meant"
4"being seen"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount3
totalVerbs539
matches
0"was leaving"
1"was pretending"
2"was almost pitying"
94.43% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount8
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences6
totalSentences354
ratio0.017
matches
0"Not because the woman was anyone extraordinary—though to Rory she had once been everything—but because she had believed, for years, in the kind of distance that made old names feel like they belonged to other people."
1"One ring glinted on her left hand—simple gold, no stone."
2"There was more behind that—too much to sort through in a bar with a hundred eyes and one ex-intelligence officer polishing glasses in the corner—but the truth sat between them anyway, ugly and plain."
3"She became very aware of the room around them—the low voices, the clatter from the sink, the rain pressing against the windows—and how all of it continued as if the worst parts of a person’s life were as ordinary as weather."
4"In the reflection of the bottles, Rory saw the two of them side by side: one woman sharpened by London and ambition and whatever else had carried her this far; the other with rain on her coat and too much history in her eyes."
5"Rory looked at her old friend—no, not old, not in the sense that mattered."
84.27% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount3228
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"altered beyond easy retrieval."
adverbCount165
adverbRatio0.05111524163568773
lyAdverbCount38
lyAdverbRatio0.011771995043370507
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences354
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences354
mean10.38
std9.69
cv0.933
sampleLengths
025
134
234
326
414
520
623
724
823
935
106
115
127
1327
146
1514
1619
176
1815
1918
2026
218
229
238
242
2511
269
278
2836
291
3013
3115
3227
331
3411
3511
3628
3735
386
391
4013
419
424
4310
447
452
4621
4732
4841
4910
42.66% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats26
diversityRatio0.1977401129943503
totalSentences354
uniqueOpeners70
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount9
totalSentences232
matches
0"Then her mouth did something"
1"Just not together."
2"Then Eva said, very softly,"
3"Instead she felt tired."
4"Of course she saw it."
5"Maybe that was what stung"
6"Instead Eva reached into her"
7"Of course he had decided"
8"Just old to her, old"
ratio0.039
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount52
totalSentences232
matches
0"It clung to the pavement"
1"She had finished her shift"
2"He had his sleeves rolled"
3"She gave him a small"
4"He answered with the barest"
5"Her hair was shorter than"
6"She wore no makeup that"
7"Her shoulders were straighter than"
8"She looked older, yes, but"
9"She took one step inside,"
10"She set her glass down"
11"She huffed a laugh into"
12"Her eyes moved over Rory’s"
13"He took in the scene"
14"His gaze paused on Eva,"
15"Her nails were short and"
16"It changed her face enough"
17"She remembered Eva with wind-tangled"
18"They had left."
19"She kept her gaze on"
ratio0.224
63.45% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount184
totalSentences232
matches
0"The rain had made Soho"
1"It clung to the pavement"
2"Aurora Carter sat on the"
3"She had finished her shift"
4"Tonight she’d drifted downstairs instead,"
5"Silas was behind the bar,"
6"He had his sleeves rolled"
7"The room felt built from"
8"Rory liked it for that."
9"Memory was honest about what"
10"Silas set a pint down"
11"She gave him a small"
12"He answered with the barest"
13"The door opened again, letting"
14"Rory looked up without meaning"
15"The woman standing in the"
16"Her hair was shorter than"
17"She wore no makeup that"
18"Her shoulders were straighter than"
19"She looked older, yes, but"
ratio0.793
21.55% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences232
matches
0"Because she meant it too"
ratio0.004
74.83% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences126
technicalSentenceCount12
matches
0"Tonight she’d drifted downstairs instead, as if one floor lower might make her less aware of the life she was not quite living."
1"Not because the woman was anyone extraordinary—though to Rory she had once been everything—but because she had believed, for years, in the kind of distance that…"
2"Her eyes moved over Rory’s face, took in her hair, the black shoulder-length cut that had once been longer, the blue-white scar at her wrist when her hand tight…"
3"Rory was aware, suddenly, of everything she had become conscious of over the years: the way she held her shoulders, the habit of keeping one hip angled away as …"
4"Silas nodded once and moved away with the practiced discretion of a man who had spent most of his life knowing when not to ask questions."
5"The bar light caught Eva’s face in a way that made her look briefly younger, and Rory was hit with a memory so ordinary it hurt: the two of them on the Cardiff …"
6"The kind that filled with everything they had never said because it had seemed easier to leave their lives in separate boxes, sealed and labeled and forgotten i…"
7"She became very aware of the room around them—the low voices, the clatter from the sink, the rain pressing against the windows—and how all of it continued as if…"
8"Rory could see exactly where the old friendship would have gone once, if life had not broken it apart: an argument in the street, a shove on the shoulder, an of…"
9"Eva made a face that said the answer was complicated enough to deserve a separate conversation."
10"Silas appeared at the end of the bar, saying nothing, merely setting a fresh bowl of peanuts beside them as if by accident and then retreating again."
11"Eva watched the movement, then gave a small nod, as if accepting something neither of them could name yet."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags25
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"she said, but the words sounded thin even to her"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags23
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"Rory suggested (suggest)"
dialogueSentences117
tagDensity0.197
leniency0.393
rawRatio0.043
effectiveRatio0.017
85.4526%