Run: 2026-03-18-01KM08NNXBPG4MC668JNEK0AWS

Run Details

Duration:
23.3s
Cost:
$0.020689
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon over The Raven’s Nest buzzed in the rain like an insect trapped against glass. Aurora Carter paused beneath it with one hand in the pocket of her coat and the other still curled around the strap of her delivery bag, though she’d already dropped the last takeout order at the restaurant three streets over. She had no reason to come in except that the damp had soaked through her shoes and the flat above the bar was colder than a grave. Sometimes she cut through the Nest on her way upstairs, nod to Silas if he was behind the bar, steal a tea or a glass of water, then climb the narrow stairs before the evening could settle on her shoulders. Tonight, the bar felt different the moment she stepped inside. Not because it was crowded—it wasn’t. A Thursday drizzle had kept Soho thin and wary, the windows fogged with breath and old heat, the walls hung with their usual dark shapes: antique maps yellowed at the edges, black-and-white photographs of men in hats and women with hard mouths, a world of places and faces that looked as if they had already survived whatever came next. The room smelled of spilled beer, lemon peel, and the faint iron tang of wet wool. Silas stood behind the bar in his shirt sleeves, the silver signet ring on his right hand catching the low light as he wiped down a glass with the patience of a man who had once waited for worse things than customers. His hazel eyes lifted when Rory came in, taking in the rain on her coat, the set of her mouth. “Back already?” he asked. “I forgot to be thirsty,” she said. That earned the hint of a smile. He set the glass down and angled his head toward the far end of the bar. “You may want to find thirst quickly.” Rory followed his glance out of habit, expecting trouble because Silas did not point things out unless they were worth pointing at. She saw a woman in a dark coat sitting alone beneath a framed map of the Thames. One hand rested around a stemmed glass untouched except for the ring of condensation beneath it. The woman’s hair was cropped short now, almost severe, the kind of cut that made a person look as if they had decided patience was for weaker characters. She sat straight-backed, her profile sharp against the amber gloom. Rory’s first thought was that she knew the tilt of that jaw. Her second thought came a heartbeat later and hit harder. Eva. For a moment, the room simply tilted around the name. Rory felt it in her ribs, in the small old scar on her left wrist, in the place behind her teeth where she always bit down when she was trying not to react. Her fingers tightened on the delivery strap so hard the nylon bit into her palm. Eva looked up, and the recognition struck them both at once. Her face changed so quickly Rory almost missed the exact second of it—surprise, then something like disbelief, then a careful, practiced stillness that was worse than either. The woman at the table was not the girl Rory remembered from Cardiff, all loose limbs and impatient laughs and ink stains on her fingers from sketching in the margins of lecture notes she never meant to keep. This Eva wore a tailored coat that could not have been cheap, a pale scarf tucked at her throat with deliberate care. Her expression was composed in a way that made Rory think of glass set into steel. But her eyes were the same. Rory crossed the room before she could convince herself not to. Each step felt absurdly loud, as if the room had gone quiet to listen. “Eva?” The woman’s mouth twitched—not quite a smile, not quite pain. “Hi, Rory.” It was stupid, how much hearing her own old name in that voice hurt. Rory had spent years being called Carter, Rory, delivery girl, love, mate, sometimes worse. Eva had always said it like she meant to keep it safe. Rory stopped at the edge of the table. “You—what are you doing here?” Eva glanced toward the bar, then back. “Having a drink.” “That’s not what I mean.” “I know.” Her gaze moved over Rory’s face, quick and unflinching, as if checking for damage she was not allowed to mention. “I was in the neighborhood.” “So was I,” Rory said, and heard how thin it sounded. Eva’s lips parted, then closed again. “I wondered if you still lived here.” Rory let out a short breath that was almost a laugh. “You wondered.” Silas, from behind the bar, had the sense to disappear to the other end of the room. The few patrons left were occupied by their own drinks and their own loneliness. The Nest seemed to lean in around them, all low lamps and old photographs, as if the room itself remembered Cardiff too. Eva looked down at her glass. “I didn’t know if you’d want to see me.” The blunt honesty of it caught Rory off guard. She had come in expecting a clean collision, perhaps even anger. She had not expected a voice like that—careful, but not cowardly. “You could’ve told me you were in London,” Rory said. “I could have.” “You didn’t.” “No.” The word sat between them. Rory pulled out the chair opposite her before she could think better of it and sat down. Her coat stuck slightly to the vinyl. From this close, she could see fine lines at the corners of Eva’s eyes that had not been there years ago, and the faint shadow beneath her cheekbones as if she’d forgotten, or refused, to sleep properly for too long. “You look…” Rory began, then stopped because there were too many endings to that sentence. Eva’s eyebrows rose faintly. “Older?” “Meaner.” That got a real smile out of her, quick and surprised, and just like that Rory was back on a Cardiff pavement at sixteen, both of them nearly freezing in thin school jackets, Eva laughing so hard she had to brace herself against a lamp post. Rory felt something inside her unclench and ache all at once. “You look the same,” Eva said. “That’s a lie.” “It’s not.” Eva leaned back and studied her. “Your hair’s longer.” “It’s shorter than it was.” “You’re still horrible at accepting compliments.” Rory almost smiled, but the feeling snagged on a sharper edge. “And you’re still dodging the subject.” Eva looked past her shoulder toward the bar, where Silas was pretending not to listen while polishing the same glass with saintly patience. Then she said, “I live in Cambridge now.” Rory blinked. “You’re joking.” “No.” “Since when?” “Five years.” Five years. The number landed with physical force. Five years since Cardiff. Five years since Rory had left home with only a suitcase, a borrowed coat, and the bruise-colored panic of a woman running on borrowed luck. Five years since she had let herself become someone who delivered dumplings and noodles through rain and traffic because it was easier than trying to explain the rest. Five years since she had stopped believing she was the sort of person who still had a past worth meeting in public. “Cambridge,” she repeated, because the shape of it still refused to fit. “What on earth are you doing there?” Eva gave a small shrug. “Working.” “That narrows it down.” “Lecture research. Consulting, sometimes.” Rory stared. “You were always going to become insufferable.” “You say that like you’re surprised.” Rory should have laughed. Instead she asked, “For who?” Eva’s gaze flicked back to hers. “For a firm. Mostly legal work.” It hit Rory then, with a sudden absurd clarity, that Eva had done what everyone had expected Rory to do and perhaps what Rory had once expected of both of them: she had gone on, neatly and successfully, into a life with corridors and deadlines and proper shoes. She wore the kind of composure Rory had spent years learning how to fake. “You’re a consultant,” Rory said slowly, “and you’re in London on a Thursday night in a place like this. That’s either a terrible coincidence or you’ve become very dramatic.” “I had a meeting.” “With whom?” Eva’s mouth tightened. “That’s not really your business.” “It is if you show up after vanishing for years.” “I didn’t vanish.” Rory looked at her. “Eva.” The woman’s jaw worked once. She looked tired suddenly, not old exactly, but worn in a way that had nothing to do with age. “I wrote. A few times.” Rory laughed once, without humor. “You sent one email to an address I hadn’t used in months.” Eva’s face changed. “You got it?” “Yes.” “And you never replied.” The accusation was gentle, which made it worse. Rory stared at the ring of condensation on the table. “I was twenty-one, and I was sleeping on a friend’s sofa, and I had just left Cardiff with half my life in a bag because Evan had finally made the place impossible. I read your email at three in the morning and thought if I answered, I’d have to explain everything. So I didn’t.” Eva’s expression softened in a way that made Rory want to look away. “I knew there was something wrong.” “You knew I left.” “I knew you were gone. That’s different.” The words hung there, exact and ugly. Rory’s throat tightened. Gone was what people called weather, departures, deaths. It sounded cleaner than left, which required a hand on a door and a choice. Eva took a slow breath. “I should have come to London sooner.” Rory shook her head once. “Why?” Eva gave her a look of mild disbelief, as if the answer should have been obvious. “Because you were my best friend.” The simplicity of it nearly undid her. Rory had imagined this conversation so many times it had lost shape. She had expected blame, maybe, or relief. She had not expected the old fact of it to arrive still intact, still tender. Best friend. As if years had not pulled at the words, stretched and frayed them, but not broken them. “I didn’t know that anymore,” Rory said quietly. Eva looked as if she wanted to flinch, but did not. “That’s fair.” Silas set a fresh pint down on the bar at the far end and said something to a customer too softly for Rory to hear. The room pressed in around their table with the weight of old maps and older silences. Rain tapped against the window in a steady, patient code. Rory studied Eva’s hands. There were no ink smudges on her fingers now. The nails were clean, short, unpainted. On her left hand, a narrow silver band caught the light when she moved. Married, Rory thought, then realized with a sharp awkwardness that she had no right to think it. She looked up too quickly. Eva noticed. “I’m not married.” Rory felt heat creep up her neck. “I wasn’t—” “You were.” Eva’s mouth curved, brief and crooked. “No, I’m not.” Rory looked down at her own hands instead. The crescent scar on her left wrist showed pale against the sleeve of her coat. Eva’s gaze snagged there, and for a second the room disappeared. Rory remembered being eleven, both of them in a council house garden in Cardiff, climbing a low fence because Eva had dared her, Rory slipping, skin tearing against metal. Eva had cried harder than she did, then wrapped the cut with a strip torn from her own cardigan and told Rory not to be stupid about it. “You kept that,” Eva said softly. “It kept me.” Eva nodded once as if she understood exactly what that meant and did not need the details. Maybe she didn’t. Maybe she did. The awful thing about people who knew you young was that they could still touch the shape of your hurt without being invited. Rory swallowed. “Did you come here for me?” Eva held her gaze. “No.” The answer should have stung. Instead it relieved something in Rory she hadn’t realized was braced. “I came here to see Silas,” Eva said after a pause. Rory’s eyes narrowed. “Why?” Eva’s glance shifted toward the bar. “Because he’s the only reason I knew how to find you.” That pulled Rory up short. She turned her head slowly. Silas, midway through drying a tumbler, was watching the room with his usual unreadable calm, as if he had merely been a man washing glasses and not the quiet architect of coincidences. “Silas,” Rory said, flatly. He lifted one shoulder in the slightest of shrugs. Eva’s expression was almost amused now, though tiredness still shadowed it. “I called him yesterday. I asked if you still worked for him.” “I don’t work for him.” “You deliver for the restaurant downstairs, live upstairs, and get roped into his errands whenever he wants something moved quietly. That’s work.” Rory stared at her. “You’ve been talking about me with Silas?” “Only briefly.” “You two know each other?” Eva’s eyes flickered. “Long story.” “Of course it is.” Silas, from across the room, raised his glass in what might have been salute or warning. Rory threw him a look that promised future complaints, though she knew he would ignore them with the serene detachment of a man who had once survived things he would never bother describing. When she looked back, Eva was watching her with a kind of patient sadness that made Rory’s chest ache. “I’m sorry,” Eva said. Rory gave a dry little huff. “For what?” Eva’s answer came without theatrics. “For not finding you sooner. For not knowing how bad it was. For letting you think you had to leave alone.” The words, plain and unadorned, were more dangerous than any elaborate apology. Rory felt the old instinct to deflect rise up, quick and practiced. Make a joke. Change the subject. Ask about Cambridge. Ask about the meeting. Anything but stand still in the middle of what had been lost. Instead she said, “I was ashamed.” Eva’s face softened further. “Not of leaving,” Rory went on, because now that the door was open the truth came through it in a rush. “Of needing to. Of being scared. Of having to call you and say, by the way, I’ve made a complete mess of my life, can you please help me anyway?” Eva reached across the table, then stopped herself halfway, hand hovering in the air as if asking permission from a past that did not know how to speak anymore. Rory looked at the hand, at the old impulse to take it, and then she put her own hand on the table between them. Eva laid her fingers over Rory’s without pressing hard. “You didn’t need to earn help,” she said. Rory swallowed against the sudden sting in her eyes. “You always did talk like that.” “Like what?” “Like you had a map.” Eva glanced around the room at the actual maps on the walls, the photographs, the dim amber light that made every object look older than it was. Then she looked back at Rory and said, “I did. I just lost it for a while.” Rory let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. Outside, rain slid down the window in silver threads. Inside, the bar hummed low and steady around them. The past did not vanish; it never did. It sat down at the table, ordered a drink, and spoke in the voice of someone who had once known exactly where to find you. Rory gave Eva’s hand a small squeeze, not forgiveness exactly, not yet, but something adjacent and living. “Stay for a bit,” she said. Eva’s expression wavered, then settled into something softer than composure. “I was hoping you’d say that.” Behind them, Silas set down his glass and went to answer a patron at the other end of the bar, giving them the grace of distance as if he understood that some reunions needed room to become real. The green neon hummed over the doorway. Rain kept falling on Soho. And at a table beneath an old map of the Thames, two women who had once known each other before life had sharpened them sat with their hands in the open, measuring the years between them and finding, to their surprise, that grief had not erased everything.
created_at"2026-03-18T10:43:12.441Z" 3/18/2026, 10:43:12 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency10492
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time22999
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion4693
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion4463
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning1034
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0206895
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_0cf3af4dc3f6651c0169ba81c080288195864d47c8d4a8f8b8"
is_byokfalse
latency182
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773830592-qL9A0nnjFNi46XTL9Lny"
upstream_id"resp_0cf3af4dc3f6651c0169ba81c080288195864d47c8d4a8f8b8"
total_cost0.0206895
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
95.83% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags23
adverbTagCount5
adverbTags
0"Rory began then [then]"
1"Eva leaned back [back]"
2"Rory said slowly [slowly]"
3"Rory said quietly [quietly]"
4"Eva said softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences96
tagDensity0.24
leniency0.479
rawRatio0.217
effectiveRatio0.104
79.99% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2748
totalAiIsmAdverbs11
found
0
adverb"quickly"
count3
1
adverb"slightly"
count1
2
adverb"slowly"
count2
3
adverb"very"
count1
4
adverb"really"
count1
5
adverb"suddenly"
count1
6
adverb"softly"
count2
highlights
0"quickly"
1"slightly"
2"slowly"
3"very"
4"really"
5"suddenly"
6"softly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
87.26% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2748
totalAiIsms7
found
0
word"grave"
count1
1
word"gloom"
count1
2
word"flicked"
count1
3
word"weight"
count1
4
word"unreadable"
count1
5
word"flickered"
count1
6
word"wavered"
count1
highlights
0"grave"
1"gloom"
2"flicked"
3"weight"
4"unreadable"
5"flickered"
6"wavered"
66.67% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches2
maxInWindow2
found
0
label"let out a breath"
count1
1
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
highlights
0"let out a breath"
1"eyes narrowed"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences176
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount3
hedgeCount2
narrationSentences176
filterMatches
0"look"
1"think"
hedgeMatches
0"appear to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences249
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen61
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2744
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions28
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"That got a real smile out of her, quick and surprised, and just like that Rory was back on a Cardiff pavement at sixteen…"
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions138
wordCount2221
uniqueNames12
maxNameDensity2.84
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity6.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest3
Carter2
Silas9
Thursday1
Soho2
Rory63
Thames2
Cardiff5
Eva44
Cambridge1
Five5
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Carter"
3"Silas"
4"Rory"
5"Eva"
places
0"Soho"
1"Thames"
2"Cardiff"
3"Cambridge"
globalScore0.082
windowScore0
68.70% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences123
glossingSentenceCount4
matches
0"something like disbelief, then a careful, pr"
1"not quite a smile, not quite pain"
2"not quite pain"
3"as if checking for damage she was not allowed to mention"
4"as if asking permission from a past that did not know how to speak anymore"
90.67% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches3
per1kWords1.093
wordCount2744
matches
0"not old exactly, but worn in a way"
1"not forgiveness exactly, not yet, but something adjacent"
2"not yet, but something adjacent"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount4
totalSentences249
matches
0"was that she"
1"like that Rory"
2"was that they"
3"understood that some"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs134
mean20.48
std24.18
cv1.181
sampleLengths
017
1107
210
381
462
54
67
730
893
912
1010
111
1258
1311
14103
156
1625
171
1812
1940
2013
2110
225
2327
2411
2513
2613
2753
2815
2931
3010
313
322
331
345
3564
3615
375
381
3957
406
413
4211
435
446
4517
4631
474
481
492
91.31% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount7
totalSentences176
matches
0"was crowded"
1"was cropped"
2"was composed"
3"being called"
4"were occupied"
5"was braced"
6"been lost"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount5
totalVerbs398
matches
0"was trying"
1"was pretending"
2"was watching"
3"was watching"
4"was holding"
85.48% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount4
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences5
totalSentences249
ratio0.02
matches
0"Not because it was crowded—it wasn’t."
1"Her face changed so quickly Rory almost missed the exact second of it—surprise, then something like disbelief, then a careful, practiced stillness that was worse than either."
2"The woman’s mouth twitched—not quite a smile, not quite pain."
3"She had not expected a voice like that—careful, but not cowardly."
4"The past did not vanish; it never did."
92.60% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2229
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount108
adverbRatio0.04845222072678331
lyAdverbCount27
lyAdverbRatio0.012113055181695828
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences249
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences249
mean11.02
std10.37
cv0.941
sampleLengths
017
140
227
340
410
56
659
716
842
920
104
117
127
1316
147
1522
1617
1716
1828
1910
2012
2110
221
2310
2433
2515
2611
2727
2838
2922
3016
316
3211
3314
341
3510
362
3714
3814
3912
408
415
427
433
445
4522
465
4711
486
497
44.38% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats14
diversityRatio0.26506024096385544
totalSentences249
uniqueOpeners66
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount8
totalSentences162
matches
0"Sometimes she cut through the"
1"Then she said,"
2"Instead she asked,"
3"Maybe she didn’t."
4"Maybe she did."
5"Instead it relieved something in"
6"Instead she said,"
7"Then she looked back at"
ratio0.049
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount25
totalSentences162
matches
0"She had no reason to"
1"His hazel eyes lifted when"
2"He set the glass down"
3"She saw a woman in"
4"She sat straight-backed, her profile"
5"Her second thought came a"
6"Her fingers tightened on the"
7"Her face changed so quickly"
8"Her expression was composed in"
9"It was stupid, how much"
10"Her gaze moved over Rory’s"
11"She had come in expecting"
12"She had not expected a"
13"Her coat stuck slightly to"
14"she repeated, because the shape"
15"It hit Rory then, with"
16"She wore the kind of"
17"She looked tired suddenly, not"
18"It sounded cleaner than left,"
19"She had expected blame, maybe,"
ratio0.154
55.68% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount131
totalSentences162
matches
0"The green neon over The"
1"Aurora Carter paused beneath it"
2"She had no reason to"
3"Tonight, the bar felt different"
4"A Thursday drizzle had kept"
5"The room smelled of spilled"
6"Silas stood behind the bar"
7"His hazel eyes lifted when"
8"That earned the hint of"
9"He set the glass down"
10"Rory followed his glance out"
11"She saw a woman in"
12"The woman’s hair was cropped"
13"She sat straight-backed, her profile"
14"Rory’s first thought was that"
15"Her second thought came a"
16"Rory felt it in her"
17"Her fingers tightened on the"
18"Eva looked up, and the"
19"Her face changed so quickly"
ratio0.809
30.86% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount1
totalSentences162
matches
0"As if years had not"
ratio0.006
9.97% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences86
technicalSentenceCount16
matches
0"A Thursday drizzle had kept Soho thin and wary, the windows fogged with breath and old heat, the walls hung with their usual dark shapes: antique maps yellowed …"
1"Silas stood behind the bar in his shirt sleeves, the silver signet ring on his right hand catching the low light as he wiped down a glass with the patience of a…"
2"The woman’s hair was cropped short now, almost severe, the kind of cut that made a person look as if they had decided patience was for weaker characters."
3"Her face changed so quickly Rory almost missed the exact second of it—surprise, then something like disbelief, then a careful, practiced stillness that was wors…"
4"This Eva wore a tailored coat that could not have been cheap, a pale scarf tucked at her throat with deliberate care."
5"The Nest seemed to lean in around them, all low lamps and old photographs, as if the room itself remembered Cardiff too."
6"From this close, she could see fine lines at the corners of Eva’s eyes that had not been there years ago, and the faint shadow beneath her cheekbones as if she’…"
7"Five years since she had let herself become someone who delivered dumplings and noodles through rain and traffic because it was easier than trying to explain th…"
8"Rory remembered being eleven, both of them in a council house garden in Cardiff, climbing a low fence because Eva had dared her, Rory slipping, skin tearing aga…"
9"The awful thing about people who knew you young was that they could still touch the shape of your hurt without being invited."
10"Silas, midway through drying a tumbler, was watching the room with his usual unreadable calm, as if he had merely been a man washing glasses and not the quiet a…"
11"Rory threw him a look that promised future complaints, though she knew he would ignore them with the serene detachment of a man who had once survived things he …"
12"When she looked back, Eva was watching her with a kind of patient sadness that made Rory’s chest ache."
13"Eva glanced around the room at the actual maps on the walls, the photographs, the dim amber light that made every object look older than it was."
14"Behind them, Silas set down his glass and went to answer a patron at the other end of the bar, giving them the grace of distance as if he understood that some r…"
15"And at a table beneath an old map of the Thames, two women who had once known each other before life had sharpened them sat with their hands in the open, measur…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags23
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"Rory said, flatly"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags18
fancyCount2
fancyTags
0"she repeated (repeat)"
1"she looked back (look back)"
dialogueSentences96
tagDensity0.188
leniency0.375
rawRatio0.111
effectiveRatio0.042
83.3134%