Run: 2026-03-18-01KM09653N35HJVPY0W8Z81M9J

“Molly, you’re sure the front door is unlocked?” “Bill, I’m sure. Uncle Randy always forgets his own keys when he drinks punch.” “Punch. Great. So we break in, grab the presents, and leave before the piñata police show up.” “Mmm, piñata police. That’s not a thing. Also, we’re not touching the piñata.” “Why not? It’s basically a piñata-shaped snack.” “Because last time you ‘casually’ hugged the mascot and got glitter in your eyebrows for a week.” “Glitter is decorative. Like stolen goods.” “Shh. Hear that?” “That’s the sound of parental vigilance. It’s louder than my conscience.” “Your conscience is missing. We need the presents, not your imaginary morals.” “Okay, plan: we sneak in, we grab everything under the tree, and we—” “And we replace the tags with blank ones so no kid notices.” “You want to counterfeit Christmas receipts?” “Not counterfeit. Just… educational.” “Educational theft. That’s worse than I thought.” “Quiet. I’m seeing movement.” “Is it the host? Or a toddler with a weaponized cupcake?” “Both are possible. Stay behind me.” “Do I get to steal the big one?” “The big one is probably a Lego set.” “Perfect. I love bricks. They’re like stealing, but with dignity.” “Dignity is optional. Kids are not.” “Fine. We steal carefully.” “Bill, you just called it ‘carefully’ out loud.” “Aw, come on—children’s parties have ears.”