Run: 2026-03-18-01KM09DDCHFZH5D4GD1F9N2SWD

Run Details

Duration:
21.5s
Cost:
$0.019686
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon above The Raven’s Nest buzzed like a trapped insect against the wet Soho dark, throwing a sickly glow across the pavement and the shoulders of people hurrying past with collars up and heads down. Inside, the bar was all low amber light and shadowed corners, the walls crowded with old maps and black-and-white photographs that watched the room with the patient, unsmiling look of the dead. Rory came in with rain on her coat and a delivery bag slung over one shoulder, half her mind already on the stairs above the bar and the flat she would unlock in a minute, shed her shoes, and collapse into. She pushed the door shut with her hip and stood for a second in the familiar warmth, letting the noise wash over her. Glasses clinked. Someone laughed too loudly near the back. The air smelled of ale, citrus peel, damp wool, and the faint peppery note of old wood soaked in years of smoke that no amount of cleaning could fully erase. Silas was behind the bar, as he often was at this hour, one hand around a cloth as he polished a glass with the economical patience of a man who disliked waste. He looked up when she came in, his hazel eyes flicking once to the bag, once to her face. The silver signet ring on his right hand caught the light when he set the glass down. “Late,” he said. “Rain,” Rory replied. She thumbed water from her lashes and gave him a look. “And people.” “Two things London is rarely short of.” She huffed something that might have been a laugh and started toward the back stairs when the sound of her name, spoken in a voice she had not heard in eight years, stopped her so abruptly it felt like she’d struck a wall. “Aurora?” The name came from the doorway to the bar rather than the room, careful and disbelieving, as though its speaker didn’t trust it enough to say it louder. Rory turned. For a second, the man standing just inside the entrance was only a shape in the spill of green neon and bar light: dark coat slick with rain, hair damp at the temples, one hand still on the door as if he had meant to keep moving and then found he could not. Then her mind caught up with her eyes, and she felt the strange, physical lurch of recognition—like stepping off a curb she had thought was farther away. “Declan?” He blinked, and something in his face cracked open. “It is you.” It had been years since Cardiff, since student nights and narrow streets and the kind of laughter that seemed then as if it would never stop. Years since she’d last seen him in the flesh instead of in the occasional accidental memory: a voice in a lecture hall, a profile in a crowded train, the ghost of a grin at a party she hadn’t gone to. Back then he had been all restless limbs and easy charm, with sun-browned skin and a mop of dark hair that never stayed where it was supposed to. He had worn his confidence like a coat he hadn’t yet learned to button. Now he stood under the bar’s ugly green glow with a stillness that looked earned, or expensive, or both. His hair was shorter than she remembered, threaded with silver at the temples. There was a scar along his jaw she didn’t know. He wore a tailored coat that would have seemed absurd on the boy she had known, and in the set of his shoulders there was a discipline she’d never seen on him before. He looked like someone who had learned, at some cost, how to hold himself together in rooms where things could go wrong. Rory realized she was staring and felt heat rise in her face. “You—” She stopped, cleared her throat. “You’re in London.” “I’m in London.” His mouth twitched, not quite a smile. “Apparently.” Silas, who had been watching the exchange with the placid attention of a man accustomed to surprises, tipped his chin toward the room. “If you’ve no intention of standing in the doorway all evening, Mr. Vale, there’s a stool open at the bar.” Declan’s eyes flicked to Silas, then back to Rory, as though he’d only just remembered the bar was populated by other people. “I’m not here for long.” “You’re here at all,” Silas said. “That tends to be the first step.” Rory should have moved. Should have said something sensible, or nothing at all. Instead she found herself crossing the floor on legs that felt a little disconnected from the rest of her. Declan met her halfway, and when they stopped there was too much space and not enough. The old instinct to step forward, to shoulder him with hers, to make the greeting a joke, rose up and found nowhere to land. “You look—” he began. “Older,” she said at the same time he said, “different.” They both went silent. Then, unexpectedly, he laughed. It was brief and stunned, as if he had stumbled and caught himself. “Still the same timing.” “That’s not always been a compliment.” “No,” he said, and his eyes held hers in a way that made the room seem to narrow around them. “It wasn’t.” The words landed between them with the weight of something unsaid for years. Rory folded her free hand around the strap of the delivery bag. The scar on her left wrist, a pale crescent beneath the cuff of her sleeve, pinched faintly as rain dried cool on her skin. She felt suddenly aware of herself: the straight black hair she kept too practical to fuss over, the uniform she’d thrown on over a shirt that had once seemed acceptable in a mirror and now looked tired, the whole narrow architecture of the life she’d built in the time he had been absent from it. Silas cleared his throat in the deliberate way that meant he was giving them space while making sure they knew he was doing it. “You know each other, then.” “We used to,” Rory said. Declan gave a slight nod. “A long time ago.” Silas’s gaze moved from one to the other, alert and unreadable. “Then I’ll assume you’ve enough sense to discuss old sins over a drink instead of in the middle of my floor.” Rory almost smiled at that, but the expression faded before it formed. Declan’s face had gone still again, the easy warmth of his first surprise drained away into something more complicated. Guilt, maybe. Or caution. Or both. Silas set a fresh glass down on the bar and drifted a few steps away, the slight limp in his left leg barely noticeable unless one knew to look for it. The room resumed around them in fragments: the scrape of a stool, a burst of laughter, the rain ticking at the windows. Someone at the far end of the bar was arguing softly about football. Declan gestured toward an empty booth tucked beneath a black-and-white photograph of dockworkers. “Will you sit with me?” The question, simple as it was, felt heavier than it should have. Rory looked toward the booth, then toward the stairs hidden behind Silas’s bookshelf at the back of the room, then back to Declan. She should have said no. The sensible part of her, the part that had learned to keep moving, to keep her distance, to make sure the past stayed where she’d left it, had already begun listing reasons. Instead she said, “For a minute.” He held the chair out for her with a faint awkwardness that startled her more than smoothness would have. The Declan she remembered would have turned it into a joke. This one just waited until she sat, then took the opposite side of the booth with his coat still on, hands clasped loosely on the table. Up close, the changes were sharper. There was a hardness to his mouth, not cruel, only restrained. Fine lines around his eyes that had not been there in Cardiff. The polished calm of someone who had spent too long being looked at and too little time being known. Rory leaned back against the cracked leather and let her delivery bag rest against her boot. “You’re not dead, then.” His eyebrows lifted. “That’s your opening?” “It’s efficient.” “That it is.” He looked down at his hands, then up again. “No. I’m not dead.” She waited. He sighed, almost imperceptibly. “Nor am I married, if that’s where you were going.” “I wasn’t.” “No?” “No.” For a moment, neither of them spoke. The silence between them was not empty. It was crowded with everything they had not said when they were younger and too stubborn to name what mattered, crowded with the shape of a summer evening outside a student pub, crowded with the stupid certainty that there would always be time. Rory studied him. “What happened to you?” His mouth tightened. “That’s a broad question.” “It’s the only kind I have.” Something like amusement flickered in his eyes, then vanished. “I worked. I traveled. I acquired a few bad habits and, against my better judgment, a better suit.” “You’ve always been full of yourself.” “Only in the presence of old friends.” That almost did it. Almost pulled a smile from her. Almost made him look like the boy she had once known, standing in a Cardiff alley with a half-empty bottle of cheap wine and arguing about whether the world was fixed or merely lazy. Instead she said, “You disappeared.” His gaze dropped, as if he could see the floor through the table. “Yes.” “That’s not an answer.” “No.” He was quiet for a beat. When he looked up again, his face had gone tired in a way she suspected took effort. “It’s the only one I have.” Rory felt her jaw tighten. She hated how quickly the old hurt could rise, not as rage, not exactly, but as a private bruising. She had spent years learning to seal that part of herself away. London had been supposed to help with that. New streets, new routines, new names when needed. Yet here it was, alive and intact, waiting in a booth in Soho under a photograph of long-dead men. “You could have called.” He gave a tiny shake of his head. “Not after what I did.” She stared at him. “What did you do?” The question hung there, and for the first time she saw something raw pass across his face. Not fear. Regret, sharp enough to be almost physical. “You really don’t know.” “No.” “Good,” he said, then winced at his own tone. “No, I mean—better that way, perhaps. For you.” Rory laughed once, without humor. “You don’t get to decide what’s better for me after vanishing.” “No.” He rubbed one thumb over the side of his finger, the gesture unsteady despite the control in the rest of him. “I don’t.” Silas appeared then with two drinks set down so softly on the table they seemed to arrive by intent rather than movement. One was a dark ale. The other, to Rory’s mild surprise, was tea in a chipped cup. Silas’s eyes rested on Declan for half a second too long. “On the house,” he said. “I didn’t order anything,” Declan said. “You looked like a man in need of lubrication and regret. I made an educated guess.” Silas moved off before either of them could reply. Rory watched him go, then looked back at Declan. “He does this?” “Only for people he’s decided might be worth the trouble,” Declan said. Rory lifted her cup, warming both hands around it. “That narrows the field considerably.” Declan’s mouth bent, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You work for him?” “Part-time. Deliveries.” She glanced down at her bag. “It pays.” “That’s not what I meant.” “No, I know what you meant.” She took a sip of tea. It was too strong and faintly smoky, exactly the kind of tea Silas would serve to someone he expected to keep their head. “I live upstairs.” His eyes lifted. “Above the bar?” “Yes.” “Of course you do.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Only that it sounds like you,” he said, and there was something in his voice then, soft and startled, that made her chest ache. “Still refusing to make yourself too comfortable anywhere.” Rory looked at him for a long moment. “You don’t know anything about where I’ve been comfortable.” “No,” he said. “I don’t.” The honesty of it unsettled her more than a lie would have. She remembered him in fragments: his laugh in the library, his hand at the small of her back guiding her through a crowd, the careless assurance with which he used to speak about the future as if it had been promised to him. He had once seemed made of forward motion. Now he sat across from her like a man who had spent years learning how to stand very still. “What do you do now?” she asked. “I could ask you the same.” “Answer first.” His fingers tapped once against the table. “I consult.” “That sounds suspicious.” “It is.” She snorted despite herself. “Of course it is.” “I might have missed that.” “Missed what?” “This.” He gestured between them, small and precise. “You. The way you cut straight to the point and make no apology for it.” Rory stared at him. Something in her expression must have changed, because he looked away first. Outside, a siren passed and dissolved into the city. Inside, the bar kept its warm, low pulse. A man at the counter asked for another whiskey. Someone laughed near the jukebox. The photographs on the walls seemed to lean in their frames, their black-and-white faces dim in the light. Rory set her cup down carefully. “You should have told me you were alive.” A muscle moved in Declan’s jaw. “I know.” “And before you say you didn’t want to drag me into whatever mess you were in—” “I wasn’t going to,” he said, too quickly. She gave him a level look. “That sounded like a lie.” He exhaled through his nose, almost a laugh but not nearly enough to be one. “It sounded like the truth as I wanted it to be.” There it was. The honesty, or a version of it. Rory sat back and let the words settle over her. The years between them did not vanish. If anything, they sharpened the edges of everything that had been left unfinished. At last she asked, “Why tonight?” He looked toward the bar, toward Silas, then back to her. “Because I walked past the sign outside and thought I was imagining things. And then I saw you.” “That’s not an answer either.” “No.” His shoulders shifted under the coat, a small self-conscious motion she didn’t remember from him. “Because I didn’t know you were here. Because if I had known, I might have stayed away longer.” Rory swallowed. The tea had gone cold in her hands. “Why?” she asked, though she knew now she was asking the wrong thing. What she wanted to ask was whether he had ever meant to come back, whether she had been a childish certainty in his life or something more, whether the silence between them had been chosen or simply allowed to grow. Whether she had been worth the trouble. But people only rarely got the question they were actually afraid to ask. Declan’s gaze met hers, and for once there was no charm left in him to hide behind. “Because seeing you reminds me of who I was,” he said quietly. “And I don’t know if that’s something I can afford.” The answer should have angered her. Maybe it did, somewhere under the ribs where anger and grief lived side by side. Instead she felt the peculiar, disorienting sadness of recognizing a truth too late to use it well. The boy she had known had gone somewhere she had not been invited to follow. The man in front of her had come back carrying the cost of that journey in his posture, in the scar at his jaw, in the careful way he chose each word as though words could still wound. Rory looked down at her own hands. When she curled her fingers, the crescent scar on her left wrist flashed pale under the bar light. It had been nothing once, a stupid accident, the sort of thing children forgot. Some marks, she thought, never went away because they were not on the skin but in the shape of the life around them. “Rory.” She looked up. Declan said her name like he had earned the right to say it and knew he hadn’t. “I am sorry.” It was such a plain sentence that for an instant she almost missed the force of it. Not the polished regret of a man trying to make himself look decent, but the stripped-down thing itself, ugly and inadequate and true. Rory held his gaze. “I know.” He blinked, as if he had expected anger, dismissal, anything but that. She gave a small, tired exhale. “That doesn’t mean I forgive you.” “No,” he said. “I didn’t expect it to.” “Good.” “Good.” For a moment the two of them sat there with the tea, the ale, and all the years between them laid out like an additional place setting at the table. Rory listened to the bar hum around them. She thought of the flat above, the stairs she would climb in a few minutes, the bed she would sleep in alone. She thought of Cardiff in rain, of a younger self who had believed that people either stayed or they didn’t, and that the distinction was enough to explain the rest. Declan reached into his inner coat pocket, then stopped and seemed to reconsider. “I should go.” “Probably.” He nodded once, accepting that as if he had expected no gentler answer. Yet he did not move immediately. His eyes stayed on her face, taking in the changes time had made and the ones it hadn’t. “You’re well?” he asked, and it sounded at once like politeness and desperate hope. Rory considered lying, then found she couldn’t summon the energy for it. “I’m better than I was.” His expression shifted, pain and relief crossing it so quickly she might have imagined them. “That’s enough,” he said. She almost told him it wasn’t. Almost said that better was not the same as whole, that people could survive and still be badly put together, that there were kinds of damage no one got to declare finished simply because enough years had passed. Instead she said, “It has to be.” Declan stood. The movement made him seem older, more solid, less like the boy she had lost and more like the man who had chosen, or failed, to become him. “Goodnight, Rory.” She looked up at him across the table, at the rain darkening his coat, at the careful distance he kept. “Goodnight, Declan.” He hesitated as if he might say something else, then didn’t. After a moment he walked back through the bar, past the maps and photographs, past Silas and his silver ring and his unreadable, watching eyes. Rory followed him with her gaze until the green neon swallowed him at the door and the rain took him back into the city. Only when he was gone did she realize how tightly she had been holding her breath. Silas came by then, a cloth in one hand, and glanced at the empty seat across from her. “Old friend?” Rory stared into the cold tea. “Something like that.” Silas made a noncommittal sound. “People rarely arrive exactly as they left.” “No,” she said quietly, feeling the truth of it settle into place, heavy and final. “They don’t.” Above them, behind the shelf that opened onto the hidden room, the bar held its secrets. Outside, London kept raining. And in the narrow booth beneath the stare of dead men on the walls, Rory sat with the terrible, ordinary knowledge that the past was not gone so much as waiting, patient as a blade, for the moment you were foolish enough to touch it again.
created_at"2026-03-18T10:56:10.139Z" 3/18/2026, 10:56:10 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency865
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time21029
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion5130
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion4240
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.019686
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_0cb2a62f3fed5dc30169ba84ca35548196a69adf39826b5f88"
is_byokfalse
latency194
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773831370-myCZCDc9vR1ekyvdTKlP"
upstream_id"resp_0cb2a62f3fed5dc30169ba84ca35548196a69adf39826b5f88"
total_cost0.019686
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags33
adverbTagCount2
adverbTags
0"he said quietly [quietly]"
1"she said quietly [quietly]"
dialogueSentences124
tagDensity0.266
leniency0.532
rawRatio0.061
effectiveRatio0.032
83.76% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount3387
totalAiIsmAdverbs11
found
0
adverb"suddenly"
count1
1
adverb"softly"
count2
2
adverb"loosely"
count1
3
adverb"quickly"
count3
4
adverb"really"
count1
5
adverb"very"
count1
6
adverb"carefully"
count1
7
adverb"tightly"
count1
highlights
0"suddenly"
1"softly"
2"loosely"
3"quickly"
4"really"
5"very"
6"carefully"
7"tightly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
71.95% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount3387
totalAiIsms19
found
0
word"familiar"
count1
1
word"warmth"
count2
2
word"lurch"
count1
3
word"charm"
count2
4
word"flicked"
count1
5
word"weight"
count1
6
word"unreadable"
count2
7
word"restrained"
count1
8
word"efficient"
count1
9
word"silence"
count2
10
word"flickered"
count1
11
word"comfortable"
count2
12
word"unsettled"
count1
13
word"pulse"
count1
highlights
0"familiar"
1"warmth"
2"lurch"
3"charm"
4"flicked"
5"weight"
6"unreadable"
7"restrained"
8"efficient"
9"silence"
10"flickered"
11"comfortable"
12"unsettled"
13"pulse"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences206
matches(empty)
80.44% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount4
hedgeCount5
narrationSentences206
filterMatches
0"look"
1"realize"
hedgeMatches
0"started to"
1"seem to"
2"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences296
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen55
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords3386
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions37
unquotedAttributions1
matches
0"Then, unexpectedly, he laughed."
83.33% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions72
wordCount2823
uniqueNames8
maxNameDensity1.03
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity2.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest1
Soho2
Rory29
Cardiff4
Silas16
Declan17
London2
persons
0"Raven"
1"Nest"
2"Rory"
3"Silas"
4"Declan"
places
0"Soho"
1"Cardiff"
2"London"
globalScore0.986
windowScore0.833
37.10% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences155
glossingSentenceCount7
matches
0"felt like she’d struck a wall"
1"seemed absurd on the boy she had known, and in the set of his shoulders there was a discipline she’d never seen on him before"
2"looked like someone who had learned, at s"
3"not quite a smile"
4"seemed acceptable in a mirror and now looked tired, the whole narrow architecture of the life she’d built in the time he had been absent from it"
5"Something like amusement flickered in his ey"
6"seemed made of forward motion"
81.87% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches4
per1kWords1.181
wordCount3386
matches
0"not as rage, not exactly, but as a private bruising"
1"not exactly, but as a private bruising"
2"not on the skin but in the shape of the life around them"
3"Not the polished regret of a man trying to make himself look decent, but the stripped-down thing itself, ugly"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount3
totalSentences296
matches
0"seal that part"
1"believed that people"
2"said that better"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs145
mean23.35
std24.89
cv1.066
sampleLengths
069
1103
268
33
416
57
643
71
828
92
1080
111
1212
13108
1497
1521
1611
1743
1827
1913
2072
214
2210
234
2421
256
2622
2713
2891
2929
305
319
3232
3337
3466
3518
3672
376
3856
3948
4020
416
422
4316
442
4514
462
471
481
4957
88.23% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount10
totalSentences206
matches
0"was supposed"
1"was populated"
2"was, felt"
3"being looked"
4"been supposed"
5"been promised"
6"been left"
7"been chosen"
8"been invited"
9"was gone"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount5
totalVerbs497
matches
0"was staring"
1"was giving"
2"was doing"
3"was arguing"
4"was asking"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount1
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences1
totalSentences296
ratio0.003
matches
0"Then her mind caught up with her eyes, and she felt the strange, physical lurch of recognition—like stepping off a curb she had thought was farther away."
83.92% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2834
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"small self-conscious motion"
adverbCount146
adverbRatio0.051517290049400144
lyAdverbCount38
lyAdverbRatio0.013408609738884969
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences296
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences296
mean11.44
std10.09
cv0.882
sampleLengths
037
132
241
323
42
57
630
732
819
917
103
113
1211
132
147
1543
161
1728
182
1953
2027
211
229
233
2426
2540
2628
2714
2819
2913
3010
3133
3222
3312
346
353
3610
371
3823
3920
4022
415
426
437
444
459
4619
4716
4824
494
46.62% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats10
diversityRatio0.25
totalSentences296
uniqueOpeners74
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount12
totalSentences185
matches
0"Then her mind caught up"
1"Instead she found herself crossing"
2"Then, unexpectedly, he laughed."
3"Instead she said,"
4"Almost pulled a smile from"
5"Almost made him look like"
6"Instead she said,"
7"Maybe it did, somewhere under"
8"Instead she felt the peculiar,"
9"Almost said that better was"
10"Instead she said,"
11"Only when he was gone"
ratio0.065
81.62% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount64
totalSentences185
matches
0"She pushed the door shut"
1"He looked up when she"
2"She thumbed water from her"
3"She huffed something that might"
4"He blinked, and something in"
5"It had been years since"
6"He had worn his confidence"
7"His hair was shorter than"
8"He wore a tailored coat"
9"He looked like someone who"
10"She stopped, cleared her throat"
11"His mouth twitched, not quite"
12"she said at the same"
13"They both went silent."
14"It was brief and stunned,"
15"he said, and his eyes"
16"She felt suddenly aware of"
17"She should have said no."
18"He held the chair out"
19"His eyebrows lifted."
ratio0.346
78.92% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount141
totalSentences185
matches
0"The green neon above The"
1"Rory came in with rain"
2"She pushed the door shut"
3"Someone laughed too loudly near"
4"The air smelled of ale,"
5"Silas was behind the bar,"
6"He looked up when she"
7"The silver signet ring on"
8"She thumbed water from her"
9"She huffed something that might"
10"The name came from the"
11"He blinked, and something in"
12"It had been years since"
13"Years since she’d last seen"
14"He had worn his confidence"
15"His hair was shorter than"
16"He wore a tailored coat"
17"He looked like someone who"
18"Rory realized she was staring"
19"She stopped, cleared her throat"
ratio0.762
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount4
totalSentences185
matches
0"Now he stood under the"
1"Now he sat across from"
2"If anything, they sharpened the"
3"Whether she had been worth"
ratio0.022
61.22% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences105
technicalSentenceCount12
matches
0"Inside, the bar was all low amber light and shadowed corners, the walls crowded with old maps and black-and-white photographs that watched the room with the pat…"
1"The name came from the doorway to the bar rather than the room, careful and disbelieving, as though its speaker didn’t trust it enough to say it louder."
2"For a second, the man standing just inside the entrance was only a shape in the spill of green neon and bar light: dark coat slick with rain, hair damp at the t…"
3"Now he stood under the bar’s ugly green glow with a stillness that looked earned, or expensive, or both."
4"Silas, who had been watching the exchange with the placid attention of a man accustomed to surprises, tipped his chin toward the room."
5"Instead she found herself crossing the floor on legs that felt a little disconnected from the rest of her."
6"She felt suddenly aware of herself: the straight black hair she kept too practical to fuss over, the uniform she’d thrown on over a shirt that had once seemed a…"
7"Silas cleared his throat in the deliberate way that meant he was giving them space while making sure they knew he was doing it."
8"The polished calm of someone who had spent too long being looked at and too little time being known."
9"She remembered him in fragments: his laugh in the library, his hand at the small of her back guiding her through a crowd, the careless assurance with which he u…"
10"If anything, they sharpened the edges of everything that had been left unfinished."
11"The man in front of her had come back carrying the cost of that journey in his posture, in the scar at his jaw, in the careful way he chose each word as though …"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags33
uselessAdditionCount1
matches
0"His mouth twitched, not quite a smile"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags24
fancyCount0
fancyTags(empty)
dialogueSentences124
tagDensity0.194
leniency0.387
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
89.2998%