Run: 2026-03-18-01KM09EQRMPB3N8Q85N45ZTZXD

Run Details

Duration:
17.1s
Cost:
$0.014930
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The green neon sign above The Raven’s Nest was already humming against the dusk when Rory pushed through the door, the cold of the Soho street still clinging to her coat. She had the insulated delivery bag looped over one shoulder, her hair damp at the ends from a fine London drizzle, her mind already counting steps and timings. Drop the food. Collect the payment. Get back to the flat above the bar before the next order came in. The bar was its usual half-lit cave of smoke-dark wood and low voices, the walls crowded with old maps and black-and-white photographs that caught the amber spill of the lamps and made the room look haunted by other lives. Rory knew the place too well to notice it most nights. Tonight, though, something in the air had shifted. The room held a stillness under the clink of glasses, as if everyone had leaned in toward some invisible center. She was halfway to the counter when she saw him. At first she only caught the shape of him through the gap between two barstools: broad shoulders in a tailored wool coat, a hand wrapped around a glass, the faint gleam of a watch at his wrist. Then he turned his head just enough for the light to strike his face, and the years fell away and landed all at once. “Tom?” The name came out before she could stop it, rough with disbelief. He looked up. For one suspended second, neither of them moved. Then recognition hit him hard enough to change his expression entirely. His mouth parted. His brows lifted. The hand with the glass tightened. “Rory.” The sound of it—his voice still carrying that old Cardiff warmth, though lower now, sanded by distance and time—went straight through her. She stared at him, at the man he had become: older, certainly, but not just older. Sharper somehow. There was a crease at the edge of his mouth she didn’t remember, a faint scar along his jaw, and his hair, once a mess of dark curls, had been cut short and disciplined. He wore the kind of coat Rory had only ever seen on men who owned expensive umbrellas. Nothing about him suggested the boy who used to sit cross-legged on her bedroom floor, stealing her crisps and laughing at her mother’s stories. He stood, and she saw the difference in him in the way he carried himself. There had been a looseness to Tom once, an easy sprawl, a constant readiness to grin. Now he held his body like a man used to being watched. Used to deciding what could be said and what had to stay hidden. Rory’s fingers tightened around the strap of her delivery bag. “I thought you were in Bristol.” “I was.” His eyes flicked to the bag, to her coat, to the damp black hair plastered at her temples. “You’re working?” “I’m delivering dinner, yes. Astounding turn of events.” The words came out dry, but her pulse had begun to thrum in her throat. A laugh tried to escape him and failed into something more careful. “You’re still doing that thing.” “What thing?” “That thing where you answer like you’re standing behind a shield.” She huffed a short breath. “You always did enjoy making me sound defensive.” “I always enjoyed making you mad.” “That is not a flattering admission.” “No,” he said, and now there was something almost apologetic in his face. “It really isn’t.” The silence that followed was crowded. Rory became aware of the bar around them again—the murmur of patrons, the scrape of a stool, the low jazz threading through the room. Somewhere behind the counter, a glass shattered and somebody swore. The ordinary sounds made the moment feel more unreal, as if the world had gone on being itself in the decades since she and Tom had last spoken. He looked at her properly then, his gaze taking in details she hated being seen through: the delivery jacket, the tiredness at the corners of her mouth, the old watch on her wrist that had once been her father’s, the small crescent scar on the other one, pale against the skin where a childhood bike accident had bitten deep. “You’re thinner,” he said. “So are you, if we’re doing this.” His mouth twitched. “Fair.” She let herself look at him longer, and the ache sharpened. He had been twenty-three when she last saw him. So had she. They had been poor and loud and convinced, in the naive way of young people, that the future would open because they had once wanted it hard enough. They had talked about moving to London together, then never had. Or maybe they had and she had gone in one direction and he another, until the distance between them grew teeth. The bar’s front door opened behind her, a burst of cold air and a gust of street noise, and she remembered abruptly that she had a job to do. “I need to drop this.” She tipped her head toward the kitchen. “I know.” He glanced at the bag again, then back at her. “I didn’t expect to find you here.” “No one ever expects to find me anywhere interesting.” He gave her a look then, one that carried old familiarity and some newer caution. “Rory—” “Don’t.” She hated how quickly his voice reached places in her she kept boarded up. “Not here.” “Then where?” She should have walked away. That would have been sensible, professional, safe. Hand over the food, take the cash, leave before memory found purchase. Instead she heard herself say, “Are you staying?” Something flickered over his face. “For a while.” “How long is a while?” “Long enough to ruin your evening, apparently.” Despite herself, she laughed then, and the sound loosened something in her chest. It was ridiculous, how quickly the old shape of him returned. Not all at once, not cleanly—there were too many new edges, too many absences—but enough to make her feel the ghost of who she had been when she had last trusted the world to keep its promises. From the end of the bar, a man called for Silas. The name cut through the room with habitual authority. Rory turned her head and saw Silas Blackwood coming out from behind the counter, a bottle in one hand, his silver signet ring catching the light as he moved. He was watching them already, his hazel eyes narrowed with that quiet, assessing attention he wore like a second coat. The slight limp in his left leg slowed him by half a beat, but nothing about him suggested fragility. He took in Rory, then the man beside her, and the slightest lift of one brow said he had already understood more than he ought to have. “Everything all right?” Silas asked. “Fine,” Rory said too quickly. “Depends,” Tom said at the same time. Silas’s gaze shifted between them, then softened by a fraction. “I’ll take the food to the kitchen myself. You can have five minutes, Carter.” Rory blinked. “That wasn’t a request.” “No,” Silas said, his mouth barely curving, “it was a courtesy.” He took the delivery bag from her before she could protest and disappeared behind the bar, his limp swallowed by the room’s shadows. Rory watched him go with the faint irritation that came whenever Silas proved, yet again, that he was impossible to outmaneuver in his own establishment. Tom looked at her. “You live here?” “Above the bar.” She folded her arms. “Very glamorous. Great for the lungs.” “That sounds like you.” “What does?” “Making an honest inconvenience sound like a joke.” Her expression must have changed, because his face tightened. “I didn’t mean—” “I know what you meant.” She looked away first, because she always did when something got too close. Across the room, a black-and-white photograph of a street in wartime London stared back at her. “You weren’t exactly wrong.” He leaned one hip against the bar, careful of the space, careful of her, and it was that care that hurt most. “How long have you been here?” “In London?” “Yes.” “A while.” “That’s not an answer.” “It’s the only one you’re getting.” He took that in, silent for a moment. “You still hate being asked direct questions.” “I don’t hate them. I just dislike the assumption that I owe anyone the answer.” “Still defensive.” “Still annoyingly observant.” A smile appeared, faint and involuntary, and for a second he looked almost like he used to, all crooked charm and sunlight. Rory felt the cruel little tug of it. It was astonishing how grief for a friendship could sit right beside relief that it existed at all. “Do you ever come back to Cardiff?” he asked. “Why?” “I don’t know.” He rubbed a thumb along the edge of his glass. “I thought maybe—” “Maybe what?” He stopped. Started again. “Maybe you’d have gone back by now.” “Why would I?” He stared at her, and in his eyes she saw the shape of the question he was too polite or too cowardly to ask: why had she not gone back to the place where they had once known each other without effort? Because Cardiff had kept too much. Because London had taken the rest. Because going back meant passing every version of herself she had tried to outrun. Instead she said, “Some people don’t have the luxury of circles. They just keep moving.” His jaw flexed. He looked older in that moment than his years. “Is that what this is? A move?” Rory nearly laughed at the way he said it, as if she had chosen this life from a menu. “I’m delivering chicken curry, Tom. It’s not a manifesto.” “No.” His eyes sharpened. “But the way you say it makes it sound like one.” Before she could answer, the room shifted again as the door opened and two men entered, shaking rain from their coats. One of them glanced toward the bar, toward her, toward Tom. Something in his posture made Rory tense instantly, though she couldn’t have said why. Silas emerged from the back room not long after, not carrying the food anymore. His expression had gone unreadable in the way that meant business, and he exchanged a brief look with the newcomer that Rory did not like one bit. Tom noticed her attention. “What is it?” “Nothing.” “You said that like a liar.” “It’s a talent.” His gaze lingered on her face, and then on Silas, and back again. “You work for him?” “Don’t say it like that.” “Like what?” “Like this is some kind of secret society.” Tom’s mouth moved, but she saw the answer form before he gave it, and then he closed it again. That, more than anything, told her he had changed. The old Tom would have pursued the joke until she threw a drink at him. This one measured every word, every silence. Whatever had made him into this man had also taught him restraint. “You should go,” Rory said quietly. He looked at her as if she’d slapped him. “Is that what you want?” “No. It’s what’s sensible.” He gave a humorless exhale. “Since when have either of us cared about sensible?” The words landed between them with painful accuracy. Rory remembered cheap wine in rented kitchens, rain hammering the windows of student flats, the two of them sitting on a curb in the dark because they had nowhere else to be and nowhere to go home to that felt like home. She remembered how easily she had once told him things she had not told anyone else. Things she had later buried under distance and work and the hard practicality of surviving alone. “Since life started charging interest,” she said. He studied her then with a look she didn’t like because it suggested he knew there was more behind the joke and would not force it out of her. “I’m sorry,” he said, and the apology was so plain, so stripped of performance, that she almost missed it. “For what?” “For disappearing.” The room seemed to sharpen around the edges. Rory felt a pulse in her wrist, right over the scar there, as if her body were keeping time to a memory her mind tried not to touch. “You didn’t disappear,” she said carefully. He gave a small, bleak smile. “No?” “No.” She looked at him, and the years between them opened like a door left ajar. “You left.” His expression barely changed, but something in him did. “Did I?” “Yes.” He was quiet for a long moment. When he spoke again, his voice was lower. “I thought you’d be safer if I did.” Rory stared at him. There it was. Not an explanation, not a confession, but enough of one to tilt the world. She had spent years inventing reasons for his absence, most of them uglier than this. Cowardice. Indifference. Better offers. She had never once imagined that he might have left for a reason that sounded like care. “That’s a terrible excuse,” she said, because if she didn’t make it sharp she might crack clean through. “I know.” “And a stupid one.” “I know that too.” She looked away before he could see the sting in her eyes. The bar smelled faintly of gin and old wood and the rain people carried in on their coats. Somewhere near the kitchen, Silas spoke in a low voice that carried no words she could catch, only the impression of command. The city pressed against the windows beyond the neon sign, vast and indifferent. When Rory spoke again, her voice was steadier than she felt. “You don’t get to come back and rewrite it.” “I’m not trying to.” “Then what are you trying to do?” Tom’s fingers tightened around the glass until the knuckles paled. For the first time since she had seen him, he looked uncertain. Human. Worn down by choices. “I’m trying,” he said, “to see if you’d still speak to me.” The honesty of it startled her more than any grand speech would have. It left her with nowhere to put her anger except around the edges, where it burned quietly. Rory breathed in, slow and careful. Then she reached out, took the glass from his hand, and set it on the bar with a soft click. “You can buy me a tea,” she said. “If you’re going to lurk in my workplace and resurrect the dead, you can at least buy me a tea.” His face changed, the tension giving way to something raw and grateful and almost boyish. “That’s a yes?” “It’s an opportunity to shut you up long enough for me to decide.” He laughed then, and this time it was real. It surprised them both. The sound moved through the bar like light through cracked glass, brief and bright. From the far end, Silas watched them over the rim of his own drink, one eyebrow lifted, the silver signet ring gleaming against the glass. He had the look of a man who knew exactly how much damage time could do and how rarely it could be undone, only survived. Rory glanced toward him, then back at Tom. “Come on,” she said, already turning toward the kitchen door. “Before I change my mind.”
created_at"2026-03-18T10:56:53.539Z" 3/18/2026, 10:56:53 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency384
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time16905
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion3949
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion3183
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning0
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0149295
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_037c2b85189c9bf70169ba84f597988194841d07348d8a9893"
is_byokfalse
latency194
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773831413-hxQBMp1hfaArWkJRHqo8"
upstream_id"resp_037c2b85189c9bf70169ba84f597988194841d07348d8a9893"
total_cost0.0149295
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags28
adverbTagCount4
adverbTags
0"Rory said too [too]"
1"She looked away [away]"
2"Rory said quietly [quietly]"
3"she said carefully [carefully]"
dialogueSentences103
tagDensity0.272
leniency0.544
rawRatio0.143
effectiveRatio0.078
88.27% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2558
totalAiIsmAdverbs6
found
0
adverb"really"
count1
1
adverb"quickly"
count3
2
adverb"very"
count1
3
adverb"carefully"
count1
highlights
0"really"
1"quickly"
2"very"
3"carefully"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
72.63% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2558
totalAiIsms14
found
0
word"warmth"
count1
1
word"flicked"
count1
2
word"pulse"
count2
3
word"silence"
count2
4
word"shattered"
count1
5
word"flickered"
count1
6
word"charm"
count1
7
word"unreadable"
count1
8
word"measured"
count1
9
word"tension"
count1
10
word"eyebrow"
count1
11
word"gleaming"
count1
highlights
0"warmth"
1"flicked"
2"pulse"
3"silence"
4"shattered"
5"flickered"
6"charm"
7"unreadable"
8"measured"
9"tension"
10"eyebrow"
11"gleaming"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"eyes widened/narrowed"
count1
highlights
0"eyes narrowed"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences160
matches
0"h with disbelief"
80.36% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount4
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences160
filterMatches
0"look"
1"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"tried to"
1"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences235
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen60
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2553
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions27
unquotedAttributions2
matches
0"Despite herself, she laughed then, and the sound loosened something in her chest."
1"Somewhere near the kitchen, Silas spoke in a low voice that carried no words she could catch, only the impression of com…"
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions51
wordCount2079
uniqueNames9
maxNameDensity1.01
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Silas"
discoveredNames
Raven1
Nest1
Rory21
Soho1
London4
Cardiff2
Tom10
Silas10
Blackwood1
persons
0"Raven"
1"Rory"
2"Tom"
3"Silas"
4"Blackwood"
places
0"Soho"
1"London"
2"Cardiff"
globalScore0.995
windowScore0.667
88.02% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences121
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"appeared, faint and involuntary, and for a second he looked almost like he used to, all crooked charm and sunlight"
1"felt like home"
2"sounded like care"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.783
wordCount2553
matches
0"Not an explanation, not a confession, but enough of one to tilt the world"
1"not a confession, but enough of one to tilt the world"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences235
matches
0"was that care"
1"imagined that he"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs125
mean20.42
std23.13
cv1.133
sampleLengths
079
178
210
361
413
53
631
71
8115
956
1016
1122
1223
1317
142
1511
1613
176
186
1916
2068
2159
224
237
244
2583
2629
2712
2819
299
3016
3117
322
3324
348
358
365
377
3861
3920
4095
415
425
437
4424
456
4611
4748
487
4913
100.00% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount1
totalSentences160
matches
0"being seen"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount3
totalVerbs345
matches
0"was already humming"
1"was watching"
2"were keeping"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount5
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences3
totalSentences235
ratio0.013
matches
0"The sound of it—his voice still carrying that old Cardiff warmth, though lower now, sanded by distance and time—went straight through her."
1"Rory became aware of the bar around them again—the murmur of patrons, the scrape of a stool, the low jazz threading through the room."
2"Not all at once, not cleanly—there were too many new edges, too many absences—but enough to make her feel the ghost of who she had been when she had last trusted the world to keep its promises."
80.06% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2092
adjectiveStacks1
stackExamples
0"usual half-lit cave"
adverbCount117
adverbRatio0.05592734225621415
lyAdverbCount24
lyAdverbRatio0.011472275334608031
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences235
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences235
mean10.86
std9.05
cv0.833
sampleLengths
031
128
23
33
414
539
611
78
820
910
1037
1124
1213
133
148
1511
163
173
186
191
2022
2116
222
2334
2417
2524
2615
2716
2812
2913
3010
316
3220
332
3423
3512
365
372
3811
395
408
416
426
4313
443
456
4624
4710
4828
4959
47.66% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats13
diversityRatio0.3191489361702128
totalSentences235
uniqueOpeners75
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount7
totalSentences146
matches
0"Then he turned his head"
1"Then recognition hit him hard"
2"Somewhere behind the counter, a"
3"Instead she heard herself say,"
4"Instead she said,"
5"Somewhere near the kitchen, Silas"
6"Then she reached out, took"
ratio0.048
58.36% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount59
totalSentences146
matches
0"She had the insulated delivery"
1"She was halfway to the"
2"He looked up."
3"His mouth parted."
4"His brows lifted."
5"She stared at him, at"
6"He wore the kind of"
7"He stood, and she saw"
8"His eyes flicked to the"
9"She huffed a short breath."
10"he said, and now there"
11"He looked at her properly"
12"His mouth twitched."
13"She let herself look at"
14"He had been twenty-three when"
15"They had been poor and"
16"They had talked about moving"
17"She tipped her head toward"
18"He glanced at the bag"
19"He gave her a look"
ratio0.404
76.44% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount112
totalSentences146
matches
0"The green neon sign above"
1"She had the insulated delivery"
2"The bar was its usual"
3"Rory knew the place too"
4"Tonight, though, something in the"
5"The room held a stillness"
6"She was halfway to the"
7"The name came out before"
8"He looked up."
9"His mouth parted."
10"His brows lifted."
11"The hand with the glass"
12"The sound of it—his voice"
13"She stared at him, at"
14"He wore the kind of"
15"Nothing about him suggested the"
16"He stood, and she saw"
17"There had been a looseness"
18"Rory’s fingers tightened around the"
19"His eyes flicked to the"
ratio0.767
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount5
totalSentences146
matches
0"Now he held his body"
1"Because Cardiff had kept too"
2"Because London had taken the"
3"Because going back meant passing"
4"Before she could answer, the"
ratio0.034
55.75% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences82
technicalSentenceCount10
matches
0"The bar was its usual half-lit cave of smoke-dark wood and low voices, the walls crowded with old maps and black-and-white photographs that caught the amber spi…"
1"The room held a stillness under the clink of glasses, as if everyone had leaned in toward some invisible center."
2"Nothing about him suggested the boy who used to sit cross-legged on her bedroom floor, stealing her crisps and laughing at her mother’s stories."
3"The ordinary sounds made the moment feel more unreal, as if the world had gone on being itself in the decades since she and Tom had last spoken."
4"He looked at her properly then, his gaze taking in details she hated being seen through: the delivery jacket, the tiredness at the corners of her mouth, the old…"
5"Rory watched him go with the faint irritation that came whenever Silas proved, yet again, that he was impossible to outmaneuver in his own establishment."
6"He leaned one hip against the bar, careful of the space, careful of her, and it was that care that hurt most."
7"His expression had gone unreadable in the way that meant business, and he exchanged a brief look with the newcomer that Rory did not like one bit."
8"Rory felt a pulse in her wrist, right over the scar there, as if her body were keeping time to a memory her mind tried not to touch."
9"Somewhere near the kitchen, Silas spoke in a low voice that carried no words she could catch, only the impression of command."
71.43% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags28
uselessAdditionCount3
matches
0"The words came out, but her pulse had begun to thrum in her throat"
1"Silas said, his mouth barely curving,"
2"he said, and the apology was so plain, so stripped of performance, that she almost missed it"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags17
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"she heard (hear)"
dialogueSentences103
tagDensity0.165
leniency0.33
rawRatio0.059
effectiveRatio0.019
89.5214%