Run: 2026-03-18-01KM0ANDS6B9TBPSS69REWS1BK

Run Details

Duration:
34.1s
Cost:
$0.030810
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4413" name="Silas Blackwood" aliases="Silas, Si, the Spymaster" pronouns="he/him" species="Human" storyRole="Mentor"> <eyeColor>hazel</eyeColor> <hair>grey-streaked auburn</hair> <height>6'1"</height> <age>58</age> <beard>neatly trimmed, matching his grey-streaked auburn hair</beard> <limp>slight limp in his left leg from an old knee injury</limp> <signetRing>silver signet ring, always worn on his right hand</signetRing> <description>Silas is a retired intelligence operative turned bar owner. He carries himself with quiet authority.</description> <backstory>Former MI6 field agent who retired after a botched operation in Prague left him with a permanent knee injury. He opened "The Raven's Nest" bar in Soho as a front for his network of contacts.</backstory> </character> <location id="854" name="The Raven's Nest" aliases="the Nest, Raven, Silas' bar" realm="Earth"> <signColor>distinctive green neon sign above the entrance</signColor> <secretRoom>hidden back room accessible through a bookshelf, used for clandestine meetings</secretRoom> <description>A dimly lit bar in Soho, London. The walls are covered with old maps and black-and-white photographs.</description> </location> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the literary fiction genre. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other unexpectedly at a bar. One of them has changed significantly. Through their conversation and the tension between who they were and who they've become, reveal the weight of time and unspoken regret. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The rain had driven Soho down into itself. It slicked the pavement into a black mirror and turned the green neon above The Raven’s Nest into a stain of light that bled across the street and onto the ankles of passersby. Rory stood just inside the doorway, shaking damp from the hem of her jacket, and watched the night slip and glitter past the glass. The bar was quieter than usual. A low murmur from two men at the far end. The clink of a bottle being set down. The old maps on the walls looked bruised in the dim light, their coastlines and borders softened by years of smoke and lamplight. Black-and-white photographs stared out from their frames in grainy accusation: faces Rory didn’t know, men in uniforms, a woman with a cigarette and a mouth full of secrets. The whole place felt like it had already survived three wars and was waiting for a fourth. Silas was behind the bar, sleeves rolled to the forearm, polishing a glass that was already clean. He glanced up when Rory came in, hazel eyes quick and assessing, as if he were checking whether she was hurt or simply tired. His silver signet ring flashed once on his right hand as he set the glass aside. “You’re late,” he said. “By seven minutes.” “An hour, in the language of people who like to make a point.” She snorted, hanging her jacket on the peg by the kitchen door. Her delivery bag thudded softly against her hip. “It’s not my fault the Golden Empress got busy.” “It’s always busy when you’re trying to leave.” “That’s probably personal.” Silas’s mouth twitched, the nearest thing he ever got to a smile in public. “What’ll you have?” “Whatever’s open.” He looked at her for a beat longer than necessary, then reached for a bottle of whisky. Rory rubbed the heel of her hand over her eye and turned, letting her gaze drift over the room. She was halfway through deciding whether she had enough energy to sit through one drink or should go straight upstairs and collapse onto her bed when the door opened behind her. A gust of rain and cold air swept in. The bar’s low conversation faltered, then resumed. Rory glanced over on instinct, expecting another office worker with damp hair and a hunger for anonymity. Instead, she saw a woman in a dark coat standing just inside the threshold, one hand still on the door handle, her eyes adjusting to the light. For a second Rory’s mind refused to place her. Then it did, with a force so sharp it almost hurt. “Nia?” The woman looked up. Recognition crossed her face slowly, as if someone had lit a fuse in a room full of dust. Her expression changed by degrees: first confusion, then shock, then something far more complicated and far less forgiving. Her coat was tailored and expensive. Her hair, once a riot of curls she’d tied up with pencils and hairbands and the sheer force of not caring, was cut sleek to her jaw. There was a fine line at the corner of her mouth Rory did not remember. Her posture had altered too, straightened into a kind of self-possession Rory had never seen in her at Cardiff, where Nia had laughed too loudly in libraries and always had ink on her fingers. The girl Rory had last known had looked as if she might burst out of her own skin at any moment. This woman looked as if she had already done it and stitched herself back together with precision. “Rory?” Nia said, and the name came out with disbelief attached. “Jesus.” Rory heard her own name in Nia’s voice and felt the years between them open like a seam. She hadn’t seen her since the last term at university, since the night they’d stood outside a chip shop in Cathays with paper-wrapped food going soggy in the rain and talked about London as if it were a country they’d conquer before Christmas. Since the messages that had started slowly and then stopped altogether. Since Rory had left Cardiff with a rucksack, a train ticket, and no explanation anyone would have accepted. Nia took a step farther inside. The rain had darkened the shoulders of her coat. She looked at Rory as if checking her for injuries. As if trying to decide whether the person in front of her was truly real, or just a trick of bad lighting and old grief. “You’re alive,” she said. Rory barked a short laugh before she could stop it. “Last I checked.” Nia stared at her for another second, then let out a breath that was half laugh, half something else. “You absolute cow.” It hit Rory then, all at once, how much she had missed hearing that exact tone from someone who knew her before London made her into a different shape. Before she learned to keep her face still and her answers brief. Before she learned that being seen could sometimes be dangerous. Silas set a glass of whisky on the bar in front of Rory, then another beside it without being asked. He did not intervene. He merely gave Nia a measured look, one old professional assessing another, and inclined his head in silent acknowledgment before moving a few steps down the bar to leave them room. Nia noticed him then, and her eyes flicked to the signet ring, the limp, the careful ease of someone who had long since learned not to underestimate a quiet man in a public place. “This is your bar?” she asked. Rory shook her head. “No. I live upstairs.” Nia’s eyebrows rose. “Of course you do.” “That tone is rude.” “It’s accurate.” Rory looked at her properly, and the shock of recognition kept arriving in layers. The face was the same and not the same. The voice was the same, but lower, steadier. The hands were still Nia’s—slender, restless, expressive—but one ring finger bore a thin gold band Rory had missed in the first impossible second. Married, then. Or engaged. Something settled. Something chosen. That, more than the haircut or the coat, hurt in a way Rory didn’t expect. Nia followed her gaze and gave a tiny, dry smile, as if she knew exactly what Rory had noticed. “Before you ask, yes.” “Right.” Rory wrapped her fingers around the whisky glass and did not drink yet. “Congratulations.” “Don’t sound so cheerful. You missed it.” “I missed a lot.” Nia looked at her for a long moment. The bar noise seemed to pull back around them, the room making a small, tactful space out of habit or pity. Outside, a bus hissed through the rain and disappeared. “When did you move to London?” Nia asked. Rory almost said, years ago. Instead: “A while.” “A while,” Nia repeated, unimpressed. “That’s all I get?” Rory lifted one shoulder. The movement tugged at her damp shirt, and she felt the familiar ache in her left wrist where the small crescent scar lived like a private punctuation mark. “You’re one to talk. You turned up looking like you run a department.” “I do run a department.” Rory blinked. “You’re joking.” “I’m not.” Nia’s mouth twitched again, and Rory saw it then—the ambition that had once been hidden under jokes and late-night panic had hardened into something undeniable. She wore success the way some people wore armor: cleanly, without apology, as if she’d earned every inch of it by blood and teeth. “You were always meant to be the proper one,” Rory said before she could stop herself. Nia let out a laugh at that, but it was thinner than the one Rory remembered. “Was I? That’s news.” “You got the degree. I heard.” Nia leaned a hip against the bar, the way they used to lean against library tables and bus shelters and the railings by the Taff when they were pretending the future was a joke they could outlast. “And you didn’t answer a single message after November.” Rory felt the sentence land and stay there. Nia didn’t say it sharply. That was worse. If she’d shouted, Rory could have defended herself against the volume of it. Instead the hurt was clean and level and impossible to avoid. “I know.” “That’s all?” “What do you want me to say?” Nia looked at her with an expression Rory remembered from their university days, when Nia had caught her lying by omission and waited with increasing patience for the truth to show itself out of embarrassment. “I want you to say why.” There it was. The question Rory had been avoiding for years in every shape it came in. Why did you vanish? Why didn’t you trust me? Why did I have to find out you were gone from a mutual acquaintance three months later? Why did you let me think I’d done something wrong? Rory stared down into the whisky. The amber surface trembled against the glass. She could feel the old reflex rising in her throat—the one that told her to make a joke, change the subject, offer a piece of herself that was small enough to be painless. It had saved her more than once. It had also cost her everything that had ever mattered. “I was in a bad place,” she said. Nia’s face didn’t change. “You were in a bad place when you moved into that awful flat off Cowbridge Road, and you still managed to answer texts then.” Rory gave a bleak little smile despite herself. “That flat was damp.” “It was criminal.” “It was cheap.” “It was a coffin.” Rory almost laughed, then didn’t. The bar seemed to narrow around the two of them, the shelves of bottles going dim and reflective, the photographs on the wall turning into pale witnesses. Nia folded her arms. The gold band caught the light again. Rory found herself wondering, in the stupid, intrusive way of the bereaved and the nearly abandoned, who had put it there. Whether Nia had held someone’s hand and promised to stay. Whether she had become the kind of person who did not disappear without warning. “You could have called,” Nia said, quieter now. “You could have told me you were leaving.” Rory swallowed. The whisky had not been touched. “I didn’t know how.” “That’s not the same as not wanting to.” The words should have been a knife. Instead they were a fact, and facts were sometimes worse. Rory lifted her gaze, met Nia’s, and saw there the oldest version of herself reflected back: younger, brighter, braver by accident. The version who had believed people could be saved by honesty if only it was offered fast enough. “I didn’t want him to know where I was going,” she said. Nia went still. Silas, at the far end of the bar, was suddenly very intent on arranging glasses by size. Nia’s voice sharpened. “He.” Rory closed her eyes for half a second. “Evan.” The name sat between them like a body no one wanted to touch. Nia’s jaw tightened. “Rory.” “I know.” “No, you don’t. You told me he was difficult. You told me it was complicated. You told me you needed space.” Her mouth twisted. “You never told me I should have been worried.” Rory heard the thread of anger beneath the hurt, and beneath that something worse: guilt, perhaps, for not seeing it, or for not forcing the issue. She wanted to say there had been reasons. That she had been ashamed, and frightened, and so carefully cornered by then that silence had felt like the only door left to her. That leaving Cardiff had not been a clean escape but a lunge into darkness, all nerves and luck. Instead she said, “I was trying to keep it from following me.” Nia looked at her, and for the first time the self-possession cracked. Her expression softened in a way that made Rory’s chest ache. “You should have told me,” Nia said. Rory laughed once, without humor. “I know.” “No.” Nia shook her head, frustration flashing through her control. “You don’t get to say it like that and make it small. You know how many times I thought you’d just got bored? How many times I thought I’d said something stupid, or been too much, or not enough—” “You were never not enough.” The words came out fast, raw enough to surprise them both. Nia went quiet. Rory felt the room around them hold its breath. Even the two men at the end of the bar had gone subdued, as if the atmosphere had shifted and everyone in it knew enough not to test the edges. Rory set her untouched whisky down. Her fingers were shaking, and she curled them against the scar on her wrist until the tremor steadied. “I didn’t leave because of you,” she said. “I left because I couldn’t stay.” Nia studied her, searching for the rest of it. Rory saw the moment she understood that the sentence was not an excuse but an admission. That there had been a cost, and Rory had paid it alone because she had thought solitude was safer than being seen falling apart. Nia’s face changed again, all the anger draining into something more tired and more human. “You look different,” she said softly. Rory gave a short, bitter laugh. “That’s usually what time does.” “No,” Nia said. “I mean different.” Rory looked at her hands. At the faint freckle on the thumb she’d once bitten during exams. At the scarred skin, the new callus from carrying food bags and boxes and the weight of ordinary survival. “So do you.” Nia glanced down at her own coat, her ring. “I had to.” The simplicity of it stung. Rory knew that sentence. Everybody who had stayed long enough to become someone different knew it. Had to. Had to earn money. Had to harden. Had to learn when to keep quiet. Had to become a person the world would leave alone. Rory picked up her glass at last and took a sip. The whisky burned down her throat and settled there like a small, stern light. “When did you get married?” she asked. Nia’s mouth quirked. “Six months ago.” “You should have sent an invitation.” “Should I have?” Nia raised an eyebrow. “To the address you never gave me?” Rory winced. Fair. Nia’s expression softened again, just a fraction. “It was small. Registry office. A meal afterward. No dramatic speeches. You’d have hated it.” “I don’t hate weddings.” “You hate being trapped in rooms with people who ask personal questions.” “That’s fair.” Nia picked up her own drink, which Silas must have set down while Rory wasn’t looking. “You always did like excuses.” “Only the plausible ones.” A silence settled, but it was different now—less a wall than a pause. The kind that comes after a slammed door has been opened and neither person is brave enough to rush through. Nia looked past Rory for a second, at the photographs on the wall, the old maps. “This place suits you.” Rory snorted. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “It means you’ve ended up in a bar full of secrets.” Rory thought of Silas’ hidden room behind the bookshelf, of the quiet machinery of his life humming beneath the floorboards. “So have you.” Nia lifted her glass in a small salute. “Touché.” The rain outside had eased. The windows no longer shuddered under it. Somewhere in the back, a glass clinked. The world continued in all its ordinary indifference, and Rory felt the strange, aching privilege of standing inside a moment that had once seemed impossible. “I looked for you once,” Nia said after a while. Rory turned. “You did?” Nia’s face was unreadable now. “I went to your mum’s old address.” Rory’s throat tightened. “You shouldn’t have.” “Probably not.” Nia took a sip of her drink. “She told me you were clever enough to disappear properly.” That almost made Rory smile. Jennifer Carter had always had a way of turning fear into practical advice. “That sounds like her.” “It sounded like she was furious with you.” Rory stared at the amber in her glass. “She was probably right to be.” Nia was quiet for a moment, then said, “I’m glad you’re alive.” The words were simple. They undid her anyway. Rory looked up, and for one dangerous second the old version of both of them seemed to flicker over the present: two girls in a Cardiff rain, younger than they should have been, holding paper chips and grand plans and the arrogant belief that friendship could survive anything if it was real enough. It had survived some things. Not others. “I’m glad you’re here,” Rory said. Nia’s eyes searched her face, perhaps for the lie, perhaps for the missing pieces. Then, very slowly, her shoulders lowered. She took a breath that sounded like she’d been holding it for years. “Do you have time for one drink?” she asked. Rory glanced toward the staircase that led up to her flat, then back at the woman across from her. At the ring. At the haircut. At the years. At the gap they could not cross and the bridge, however frail, that had just appeared between them. “Yeah,” she said. “I think I do.” Silas, without looking over, set a fresh glass down in front of her. Rory took it and finally let herself sit.
created_at"2026-03-18T11:18:01.267Z" 3/18/2026, 11:18:01 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency16190
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time33683
tokens_prompt867
tokens_completion4912
native_tokens_prompt808
native_tokens_completion6712
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning3032
native_tokens_cached0
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.03081
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_0e1f5227555addea0169ba89e958508195bd36972fe3cffffb"
is_byokfalse
latency203
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773832681-rmAKDoqxIAnXLwOBLj0P"
upstream_id"resp_0e1f5227555addea0169ba89e958508195bd36972fe3cffffb"
total_cost0.03081
cache_discount(null)
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags26
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"she said softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences101
tagDensity0.257
leniency0.515
rawRatio0.038
effectiveRatio0.02
81.11% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2912
totalAiIsmAdverbs11
found
0
adverb"softly"
count2
1
adverb"slowly"
count3
2
adverb"truly"
count1
3
adverb"sharply"
count1
4
adverb"suddenly"
count1
5
adverb"very"
count2
6
adverb"carefully"
count1
highlights
0"softly"
1"slowly"
2"truly"
3"sharply"
4"suddenly"
5"very"
6"carefully"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (16 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions
0"Blackwood"
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
81.11% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2912
totalAiIsms11
found
0
word"measured"
count1
1
word"flicked"
count1
2
word"familiar"
count1
3
word"trembled"
count1
4
word"could feel"
count1
5
word"silence"
count2
6
word"weight"
count1
7
word"eyebrow"
count1
8
word"unreadable"
count1
9
word"flicker"
count1
highlights
0"measured"
1"flicked"
2"familiar"
3"trembled"
4"could feel"
5"silence"
6"weight"
7"eyebrow"
8"unreadable"
9"flicker"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches1
maxInWindow1
found
0
label"let out a breath"
count1
highlights
0"let out a breath"
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells1
narrationSentences206
matches
0"t with disbelief"
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount3
narrationSentences206
filterMatches
0"think"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences280
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen53
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2909
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions37
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
0.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions133
wordCount2361
uniqueNames13
maxNameDensity2.67
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity5.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Soho1
Raven1
Nest1
Rory63
Cardiff4
Nia46
Cathays1
London2
Christmas1
Taff1
Silas6
Carter1
Had5
persons
0"Raven"
1"Rory"
2"Nia"
3"Silas"
4"Carter"
5"Had"
places
0"Soho"
1"Cardiff"
2"Cathays"
3"London"
globalScore0.166
windowScore0
40.51% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences137
glossingSentenceCount6
matches
0"felt like it had already survived three"
1"as if checking her for injuries"
2"As if trying to decide whether the person in front of her was truly real, or just a trick of bad lighting and old grief"
3"felt like the only door left to her"
4"seemed impossible"
5"sounded like she’d been holding it for yea"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches1
per1kWords0.344
wordCount2909
matches
0"not an excuse but an admission"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount2
totalSentences280
matches
0"understood that the"
1"knew that sentence"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs140
mean20.78
std20.8
cv1.001
sampleLengths
065
192
257
34
43
513
629
78
83
917
102
1167
1216
1344
149
1511
161
174
18118
1921
2017
2112
2218
2372
2450
254
2613
2722
2851
2955
3034
316
328
337
344
352
3662
3715
3823
3915
407
414
4238
438
448
459
4645
475
484
492
88.23% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount10
totalSentences206
matches
0"was tailored"
1"being seen"
2"being asked"
3"been hidden"
4"were gone"
5"been touched"
6"was offered"
7"been ashamed"
8"being seen"
9"been opened"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount5
totalVerbs407
matches
0"was waiting"
1"were checking"
2"were pretending"
3"were shaking"
4"wasn’t looking"
100.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount5
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences4
totalSentences280
ratio0.014
matches
0"The hands were still Nia’s—slender, restless, expressive—but one ring finger bore a thin gold band Rory had missed in the first impossible second."
1"Nia’s mouth twitched again, and Rory saw it then—the ambition that had once been hidden under jokes and late-night panic had hardened into something undeniable."
2"She could feel the old reflex rising in her throat—the one that told her to make a joke, change the subject, offer a piece of herself that was small enough to be painless."
3"A silence settled, but it was different now—less a wall than a pause."
97.60% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2129
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount91
adverbRatio0.04274307186472522
lyAdverbCount18
lyAdverbRatio0.008454673555659934
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences280
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences280
mean10.39
std8.67
cv0.834
sampleLengths
08
133
224
36
410
58
623
728
817
917
1024
1116
124
133
1413
1512
168
179
188
193
2014
213
222
2317
2419
2531
269
277
2817
2927
309
3111
321
334
3418
3518
366
3727
3815
3934
4021
4117
4211
431
4418
4543
4611
4718
486
499
39.29% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats30
diversityRatio0.225
totalSentences280
uniqueOpeners63
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount8
totalSentences180
matches
0"Instead, she saw a woman"
1"Then it did, with a"
2"Instead the hurt was clean"
3"Instead they were a fact,"
4"Instead she said,"
5"Even the two men at"
6"Somewhere in the back, a"
7"Then, very slowly, her shoulders"
ratio0.044
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount28
totalSentences180
matches
0"It slicked the pavement into"
1"He glanced up when Rory"
2"His silver signet ring flashed"
3"She snorted, hanging her jacket"
4"Her delivery bag thudded softly"
5"He looked at her for"
6"She was halfway through deciding"
7"Her expression changed by degrees:"
8"Her coat was tailored and"
9"Her hair, once a riot"
10"Her posture had altered too,"
11"She hadn’t seen her since"
12"She looked at Rory as"
13"It hit Rory then, all"
14"He did not intervene."
15"He merely gave Nia a"
16"She wore success the way"
17"She could feel the old"
18"It had saved her more"
19"It had also cost her"
ratio0.156
57.22% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount145
totalSentences180
matches
0"The rain had driven Soho"
1"It slicked the pavement into"
2"Rory stood just inside the"
3"The bar was quieter than"
4"A low murmur from two"
5"The clink of a bottle"
6"The old maps on the"
7"The whole place felt like"
8"Silas was behind the bar,"
9"He glanced up when Rory"
10"His silver signet ring flashed"
11"She snorted, hanging her jacket"
12"Her delivery bag thudded softly"
13"Silas’s mouth twitched, the nearest"
14"He looked at her for"
15"Rory rubbed the heel of"
16"She was halfway through deciding"
17"A gust of rain and"
18"The bar’s low conversation faltered,"
19"Rory glanced over on instinct,"
ratio0.806
100.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount6
totalSentences180
matches
0"As if trying to decide"
1"Before she learned to keep"
2"Before she learned that being"
3"If she’d shouted, Rory could"
4"Whether Nia had held someone’s"
5"Whether she had become the"
ratio0.033
44.07% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences94
technicalSentenceCount13
matches
0"It slicked the pavement into a black mirror and turned the green neon above The Raven’s Nest into a stain of light that bled across the street and onto the ankl…"
1"Silas was behind the bar, sleeves rolled to the forearm, polishing a glass that was already clean."
2"Instead, she saw a woman in a dark coat standing just inside the threshold, one hand still on the door handle, her eyes adjusting to the light."
3"She hadn’t seen her since the last term at university, since the night they’d stood outside a chip shop in Cathays with paper-wrapped food going soggy in the ra…"
4"As if trying to decide whether the person in front of her was truly real, or just a trick of bad lighting and old grief."
5"It hit Rory then, all at once, how much she had missed hearing that exact tone from someone who knew her before London made her into a different shape."
6"Nia noticed him then, and her eyes flicked to the signet ring, the limp, the careful ease of someone who had long since learned not to underestimate a quiet man…"
7"Nia’s mouth twitched again, and Rory saw it then—the ambition that had once been hidden under jokes and late-night panic had hardened into something undeniable."
8"She wore success the way some people wore armor: cleanly, without apology, as if she’d earned every inch of it by blood and teeth."
9"She could feel the old reflex rising in her throat—the one that told her to make a joke, change the subject, offer a piece of herself that was small enough to b…"
10"Her expression softened in a way that made Rory’s chest ache."
11"Everybody who had stayed long enough to become someone different knew it."
12"The world continued in all its ordinary indifference, and Rory felt the strange, aching privilege of standing inside a moment that had once seemed impossible."
86.54% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags26
uselessAdditionCount2
matches
0"Nia said, and the name came out with disbelief attached"
1"Nia shook, frustration flashing through her control"
100.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags20
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"Nia repeated (repeat)"
dialogueSentences101
tagDensity0.198
leniency0.396
rawRatio0.05
effectiveRatio0.02
87.1895%