Run: 2026-03-18-01KM0AR2B4AQ1X0MRZWNN6MS53

Run Details

Duration:
19.0s
Cost:
$0.016237
Provider:
OpenAI

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <character id="4418" name="Nyx" aliases="Nyx, the Shadow, Nightwhisper" pronouns="they/them" species="Shade" storyRole="Wild Card"> <eyeColor>faintly glowing violet</eyeColor> <height>approximately 6'2" in solid form</height> <age>ageless</age> <form>humanoid silhouette of living shadow, can shift between solid and incorporeal</form> <voice>sounds like a whisper carried on the wind</voice> <description>A being of living shadow, existing between the mortal plane and the spaces between realms.</description> <backstory>Nyx was once a human sorcerer named Aldric who became trapped between realms during a failed summoning ritual in 1643. They now exist as a Shade, bound to the mortal plane but able to slip between shadows.</backstory> </character> <character id="4424" name="Isolde Varga" aliases="Isolde, the Seer" pronouns="she/her" species="Half-Fae" storyRole="Oracle"> <eyeColor>pale lavender</eyeColor> <hair>silver, reaching her waist</hair> <height>5'5"</height> <age>300 years old</age> <appearance>ethereal, ageless</appearance> <speech>speaks in riddles</speech> <footprints>leaves no footprints when she walks</footprints> <compulsion>cannot lie (Fae compulsion) but can mislead</compulsion> <description>A Half-Fae seer exiled from the Fae Courts for sharing visions with mortals.</description> <backstory>She now lives in a hidden grove in Richmond Park, offering cryptic prophecies to those who seek her out.</backstory> </character> <location id="853" name="Dymas (Gluttony)" aliases="Dymas, gluttony, Dymasian" realm="Hel" sin="Gluttony"> <ruler>Prince Belphegor</ruler> <skyColor>warm amber</skyColor> <description>A place of excess and indulgence. Sprawling vineyards, orchards, and gardens provide exotic ingredients for master chefs — often helbound souls contracted from Earth. Grand feasts and culinary competitions are common.</description> </location> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> <item id="2006" name="Fae-Forged Blade" aliases="the Fae blade, Isolde's gift" type="Weapon" origin="The Fae Courts"> <material>moonsilver</material> <shape>slender, leaf-shaped dagger</shape> <temperature>always cold to the touch</temperature> <glow>faintly luminescent in moonlight</glow> <power>can cut through magical wards; particularly effective against demons</power> <givenTo>given to Aurora by Isolde as a gift</givenTo> <description>A weapon of the Fae Courts, rare and highly coveted.</description> </item> <lore id="7001" name="The Veil" aliases="the Veil, the Barrier, the Boundary" category="Cosmology"> <solsticeEffect>weakens during the winter solstice, strengthens during the summer solstice</solsticeEffect> <appearance>faint shimmering distortion visible only to those with supernatural sight</appearance> <monitoring>rift points (tears in the Veil) are monitored by the Wardens</monitoring> <description>The Veil is the metaphysical barrier separating Earth from Hel and the Fae Realms.</description> </lore> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the fantasy genre. A small group enters an ancient, otherworldly place for the first time. The environment is alien and wondrous. Describe their exploration — what they see, hear, and feel as they move deeper. Include moments of discovery, unease, and wonder. Let the world-building emerge through the characters' experience rather than exposition. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for characters, setting, and lore. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The pendant went warm against Rory’s chest before she saw the tear in the air. It hung there between two black yews at the edge of Richmond Park, no bigger than a ragged curtain, the night around it bending wrong. The Veil shimmered in a way that made her eyes ache if she stared too long, a faint distortion like heat off a road in summer, except the air was cold enough to sting her lungs. The Heartstone rested beneath her jumper, its pulse steady and insistent, each beat a small red throb through the silver chain. “Don’t touch the edge,” Isolde said softly. Rory glanced at her. The seer stood as if she’d grown there, silver hair spilling down her back, lavender eyes fixed on the fracture in the dark. Bare feet on wet grass, no print beneath them. “That sounds like advice given from experience.” Isolde’s mouth curved, almost a smile, almost not. “Experience is the oldest coin.” Nyx stood a pace behind Rory, a tall shape of living shadow gathered into humanoid form, their edges feathering into the night. Their eyes glowed faint violet, small and strange as foxfire. “The other side smells hungry,” they whispered, voice like wind moving through dead leaves. “That’s reassuring,” Rory muttered. She tightened her grip on the strap of her bag and looked down at the moonsilver blade Isolde had given her. It hung at her belt, slender and leaf-shaped, cold enough through the leather sheath to raise the hairs on her wrist. She had not yet grown used to the weight of it, or to the fact that one of the few things in her life that had ever been truly magical was also sharp enough to cut wards and demons and whatever else the world had decided to hide from ordinary people. The Heartstone pulsed again. Warm. Warmer. The tear in the air widened with a sound Rory felt more than heard, a thin, awful sigh, and the darkness beyond it deepened into a color she had no name for. Not black. Not exactly. A bruised, metallic red that made the inside of her head prickle. Isolde lifted a hand. “The path opens because it is asked. Not because it is safe.” “That’s a very Fae way of saying we might die,” Rory said. “Only if you are careless.” Nyx gave a low, dry sound that might have been amusement. “Then we shall be careful together.” Rory drew in a breath, then stepped forward. The Veil gave way like skin under water. There was no sensation of crossing so much as falling through a held breath. The world folded and slipped, and for one disorienting heartbeat Rory felt every direction at once. Cold rushed over her face. Heat followed, dry and heavy as oven air. The smell hit next: sweet rot, crushed grapes, smoke, and something animal underneath, musky and metallic. Her stomach lurched. Then her boots struck ground. Not grass. Not earth. Stone, warm beneath the soles, rough with age and traced in shallow grooves that glowed faintly amber in the dark. Rory stumbled and caught herself with one hand against a low wall of black rock. The stone felt strange under her palm, smooth in some places as glass and pitted in others like bone worn by weather. A sound rolled around her, slow and low, like distant bells submerged under honey. She straightened and looked up. The sky stopped her cold. It wasn’t a sky the way London had a sky. It stretched vast and low and amber-bright, as though dusk had been stretched thin and lit from beneath by a furnace. No stars pricked through it. No moon hung there. Instead, the entire dome of heaven glowed in warm gradations of gold and copper and burnt orange, casting everything below in the color of old fire. The light made shadows long and lush and inky, and every edge in the landscape seemed sharpened by it. Rory turned in a slow circle. They stood on a rise above an immense valley. Terraced vineyards spread away in neat, impossible rows, their vines heavy with grapes the size of marbles and others the size of plums, clusters of deep purple, green veined with gold, and a translucent pink that shone as if lit from within. Between the vineyards rose orchards and gardens arranged in lavish geometry, all of it too abundant to be natural. Trees bowed under fruit in jewel tones: pearly white, blood-red, silver-flecked. Vines curled around trellises shaped like antlers and spirals. Between the beds, canals of clear water caught the amber light and flashed like liquid copper. Far below, lanterns burned in strings along paths that wound toward a city Rory could barely make out in the haze. Its towers curved like the stems of flowers. Its walls glittered. Somewhere beyond them, music drifted up in a lazy, luxurious swell—strings and drums and a laughing chorus that made her think of parties gone on too long and too late, with the smell of spiced wine and rich food and bad decisions. “Christ,” she breathed before she could stop herself. Isolde came to stand beside her, her bare feet silent on the stone. “Dymas.” The name was enough to make the place feel more real, more dangerous. Rory had heard it in scraps and hints, in warnings and half-jokes, in the way people said certain names lower than others. A realm of gluttony. Of feasts. Of indulgence with teeth in it. Nyx’s form rippled as they looked over the valley. “It is larger than your stories.” “Stories tend to be lazy,” Isolde said. Rory swallowed and fought the urge to touch the pendant again. It was hotter now, a steady pulse against her sternum, almost a warning in its warmth. She followed the sensation with her eyes instead. There—down the slope to the left—the glow strengthened in brief, uncertain beats, as if the Heartstone were breathing toward something unseen. “Hel portal?” she asked. “Near,” Isolde said. “Or once near. The old places linger.” That did not help. Rory looked back at the valley and felt the first tendril of unease coil under her ribs. The beauty was too abundant, too composed, as if every vine and stone had been placed by a hand that never knew restraint. Even the light felt indulgent. It spilled over everything with a thick, syrupy richness that made her skin feel too dry and too mortal. A breeze moved through the terrace, carrying the scent of baked sugar and bruised herbs. It should have been pleasant. Instead it made her think of a kitchen left too long unattended, of sweetness past its peak, of fruit beginning to ferment beneath its own perfection. “We should move,” she said. Nyx inclined their shadowed head. “You lead, then. Your feet are firmer than mine.” Rory shot them a look. “That’s not comforting.” “It was not meant to be.” They started down the stone steps carved into the terrace. The steps were broad and shallow, each one etched with circular marks that reminded Rory of old coins or eyes. They glowed faintly underfoot and dimmed when she passed, as if the path itself noticed her. She kept her hand near the dagger, the other close to her side, shoulders tight. The air changed as they descended. It grew warmer, richer, and thicker, as though she were walking through the breath of a great beast. Every inhale tasted faintly of cinnamon and charred wood. Rory could hear the soft rustle of leaves, the trickle of water, the distant murmur of voices. Somewhere out in the orchards, something laughed with a bright, human sound that didn’t belong in a place like this. It made her skin crawl. They reached the first vineyard rows and Rory had to stop. The grapes hanging overhead were not merely large; some of them were as big as her fist, their skins taut and luminous. Tiny motes of light drifted inside a few, like fireflies trapped in fruit. A bird perched on the vine had feathers the color of hammered bronze and a beak curved like a hook. It cocked its head at her, one eye dark and intelligent, then snapped at a grape and swallowed it whole. The vine shivered. A bead of red juice, thick as wine, slid down the stem and vanished into the earth. Rory stared. “That bird just ate a glowing grape.” Nyx leaned in slightly, their presence dimming and brightening with the shifting light. “It seems content.” “I don’t know why that’s the part I’m struggling with.” She reached out, then hesitated. She had never been one for touching things blindly, not if there was a chance they could bite back, and in Dymas every beautiful thing looked capable of it. Still, curiosity pushed her. She brushed a fingertip against the nearest cluster. The grape was warm. Not lukewarm. Warm as fresh bread. A pulse ran through it under her skin, and with it came a flash of sensation so vivid Rory jerked her hand back with a gasp. For an instant she had felt sunlight, heavy and sweet on the tongue, and the sting of wine on a split lip, and the impossible fullness of appetite sated to the point of pain. Isolde’s gaze sharpened. “Do not take what is offered lightly.” “I wasn’t going to eat it.” “Dymas doesn’t distinguish between the thought and the act as cleanly as your world does.” Rory drew her hand back as though the vine might have been watching. “Great. That’s great.” They moved on. The path wound between orchards where fruit hung from branches heavy enough to bow them into arches, and flowerbeds where blossoms opened and closed with slow, breathing precision. Some flowers had petals like silk. Others looked almost carnivorous, their centers lined with thin gold filaments that trembled as Rory passed. The ground underfoot was not dirt but a dark, fertile loam that gave softly beneath each step, steaming slightly in the warm air. Every so often they passed a figure. At first Rory thought they were statues—tall, still forms among the trees or half-hidden in arbors—but then one turned its head and she saw the sheen of skin, the track of a real breath, the flicker of eyes too hungry and too tired to be ordinary. Some wore stained aprons. Some carried baskets heavy with fruit. A few were dressed in fine, decadent garments too bright for work. There was something about all of them that made Rory’s chest tighten: a draggedness in the shoulders, a brightness in the stare, as if each had been tuned to desire and denied the ability to stop reaching for it. Helbound souls, she realized, though the thought came more from the way the place felt than from any spoken explanation. One woman with black hair braided to her waist paused at a fountain and dipped her hands into the water. She lifted them to her mouth and drank with closed eyes, tears shining on her cheeks as if the water were the first kind she had ever tasted. Rory couldn’t tell whether she was being fed or punished. A low sound traveled through the air, and several workers in the orchard bowed their heads at once. Rory followed the direction of their attention toward a ridge in the distance where a long banquet hall rose above the vines, its roof made of red tile and gold leaf that glimmered like wet scales. Through open arches she could glimpse tables set in endless rows, each loaded with platters of meat, towers of sugared fruit, breads braided with herbs, dishes steaming in the amber light. The smell of it rolled over her, rich and dizzying, and for a split second her own stomach clenched with sudden, aching hunger. She hated that most of all. Her hand went to the pendant again. It was nearly hot now. Not painful, but insistent, like a warning pressing from the inside out. “There,” she said, and her voice sounded small in the vastness of the valley. “It’s stronger.” Isolde looked where Rory pointed, then beyond, into a narrow cut between two slopes where the stone had turned black and slick, as if scorched by ancient fire. “The old mouth lies beneath the feast.” “The mouth of what?” “The thing that opens,” Isolde said. “And closes. And opens again when it is hungry enough.” Rory gave her a flat look. “You really do this on purpose, don’t you?” Nyx’s whisper brushed the back of her neck. “The seer’s answers are doors. You are expected to find the hinges.” “That’s very poetic for someone who lives in shadow.” “I was old before poetry became fashionable.” Despite herself, Rory huffed a laugh. It broke some of the tightness in her chest, enough for her to breathe more fully. Then the air shifted. She felt it first in her teeth: a pressure, faint and metallic. The pendant flared hot against her skin. Nyx’s form went suddenly flatter, edges dimming as though the surrounding shadows had deepened in answer. Isolde stilled, chin lifting. Rory turned. At the far end of the nearest terrace, between two rows of vines, the light had changed. One patch of ground seemed darker than the rest, not shadow but absence, a place where the amber glow thinned and shivered. It expanded for a heartbeat into a vertical seam, barely visible, and Rory caught the briefest glimpse of somewhere else behind it—stone and darkness and a sliver of cold blue light so alien against Dymas’s warmth that she shivered. Then it closed. Rory’s pulse jumped. “Did you see that?” “Yes,” Isolde said. Nyx was already staring at the spot with eerie focus. “A breach.” The word went through Rory like a chill. “Here?” “Close enough to matter,” Isolde said. The vineyard around the seam rustled. Leaves trembled without wind. One of the bronze-feathered birds burst into flight, beating toward the hall in a frantic blur. Somewhere below, the music faltered and resumed as if no one wished to acknowledge the interruption. Rory’s fingers curled around the dagger’s hilt. The cold of the moonsilver settled against her palm, grounding her a little. The valley beyond looked different now, not less beautiful but less trustworthy, the abundance suddenly feeling like a veil itself—something draped over rot, or hunger, or both. The pendant warmed in a steady, urgent pulse. She knew, with the peculiar certainty that sometimes arrived in the middle of fear, that they had stepped into the right place and at the wrong time. “This way,” she said, and started toward the scorched cut in the earth. Behind her, Nyx moved like a spill of darkness unmoored from the ground. Isolde glided along without sound, silver hair streaming behind her like a banner. The three of them crossed between the vines and toward the dark seam in the landscape, while the amber light pressed in from all sides, lovely and unnatural and watchful. As Rory neared the cut, the air turned colder. Not cold like a winter night in Cardiff, wet and biting. This was a dry cold, the sort that lived in tombs and old wells, in places where something had been sealed away too long. The warm smell of fruit thinned. Beneath it came another scent: ash, iron, and something faintly sulfurous. Her skin prickled. The seam opened again for the space of a breath. This time she saw enough to know the world behind it was not empty. Something moved in the blue-black dark, massive and slow, too large to fit the space it occupied. A shape with edges like antlers or spines. A glimmer of red. Then the crack snapped shut with a soft, obscene click. Rory stopped dead. Nyx’s whisper was very quiet. “That is not native to Dymas.” “No,” Isolde said, and for once her riddling cadence thinned to something sharper. “No. It is wearing a borrowed door.” Rory swallowed hard, feeling the pendant throb like a second heart. Above them the amber sky glowed on, indifferent and beautiful. Around them the vineyards ripened in impossible abundance. Somewhere in the feast-halls, someone laughed. And beneath the sweetness, beneath the warmth and gold and ripe-lipped luxury of Dymas, something old and wrong had begun to open its eye.
created_at"2026-03-18T11:19:27.858Z" 3/18/2026, 11:19:27 AM
model"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency1132
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time18806
tokens_prompt1590
tokens_completion4135
native_tokens_prompt1532
native_tokens_completion3545
native_tokens_completion_images0
native_tokens_reasoning114
native_tokens_cached1280
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"completed"
usage0.0162375
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"9ee065b2-3d1c-43bc-bdd7-28af3b148282"
id"resp_050129ec4ef97be40169ba8a3fe9cc8193ad9661314aa3ebae"
is_byokfalse
latency181
model_permaslug"openai/gpt-5.4-mini-20260317"
provider_name"OpenAI"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.0; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1773832767-OgR88gTTSMe8PPAwp5vI"
upstream_id"resp_050129ec4ef97be40169ba8a3fe9cc8193ad9661314aa3ebae"
total_cost0.0162375
cache_discount0.000864
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"OpenAI"

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags15
adverbTagCount1
adverbTags
0"Isolde said softly [softly]"
dialogueSentences46
tagDensity0.326
leniency0.652
rawRatio0.067
effectiveRatio0.043
77.99% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2726
totalAiIsmAdverbs12
found
0
adverb"softly"
count2
1
adverb"truly"
count1
2
adverb"very"
count3
3
adverb"slightly"
count2
4
adverb"lightly"
count1
5
adverb"really"
count1
6
adverb"suddenly"
count2
highlights
0"softly"
1"truly"
2"very"
3"slightly"
4"lightly"
5"really"
6"suddenly"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
48.64% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2726
totalAiIsms28
found
0
word"shimmered"
count1
1
word"pulse"
count5
2
word"throb"
count2
3
word"weight"
count1
4
word"pulsed"
count1
5
word"stomach"
count2
6
word"lurched"
count1
7
word"traced"
count1
8
word"warmth"
count3
9
word"comforting"
count1
10
word"etched"
count1
11
word"silk"
count1
12
word"trembled"
count2
13
word"flicker"
count1
14
word"desire"
count1
15
word"whisper"
count2
16
word"chill"
count1
17
word"streaming"
count1
highlights
0"shimmered"
1"pulse"
2"throb"
3"weight"
4"pulsed"
5"stomach"
6"lurched"
7"traced"
8"warmth"
9"comforting"
10"etched"
11"silk"
12"trembled"
13"flicker"
14"desire"
15"whisper"
16"chill"
17"streaming"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences194
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount4
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences194
filterMatches
0"think"
1"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"started to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences225
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen51
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2719
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions22
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
66.67% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions77
wordCount2476
uniqueNames11
maxNameDensity1.49
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity3
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Rory37
Richmond1
Park1
Veil2
Heartstone3
Isolde15
Nyx10
London1
Dymas3
Cardiff1
One3
persons
0"Rory"
1"Veil"
2"Heartstone"
3"Isolde"
4"Nyx"
5"One"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Park"
2"London"
3"Dymas"
4"Cardiff"
globalScore0.753
windowScore0.667
100.00% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences138
glossingSentenceCount1
matches
0"seemed sharpened by it"
52.89% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches4
per1kWords1.471
wordCount2719
matches
0"not dirt but a dark, fertile loam"
1"Not painful, but insistent, like a warning pressing from the inside out"
2"not shadow but absence, a place"
3"not less beautiful but less trustworthy, the abundance suddenly feeling like a veil"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount0
totalSentences225
matches(empty)
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs99
mean27.46
std27.79
cv1.012
sampleLengths
015
182
27
343
413
546
64
793
86
948
1016
1112
125
1317
148
158
1662
175
184
1971
205
215
2285
236
24106
2574
268
2714
2847
2915
307
3156
324
3310
344
3564
3646
375
3814
398
406
4161
4270
435
4411
4575
4620
479
4816
4910
94.41% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount6
totalSentences194
matches
0"been stretched"
1"been placed"
2"were dressed"
3"been tuned"
4"being fed"
5"been sealed"
100.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount3
totalVerbs377
matches
0"were breathing"
1"were walking"
2"was already staring"
66.67% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount7
semicolonCount1
flaggedSentences6
totalSentences225
ratio0.027
matches
0"Somewhere beyond them, music drifted up in a lazy, luxurious swell—strings and drums and a laughing chorus that made her think of parties gone on too long and too late, with the smell of spiced wine and rich food and bad decisions."
1"There—down the slope to the left—the glow strengthened in brief, uncertain beats, as if the Heartstone were breathing toward something unseen."
2"The grapes hanging overhead were not merely large; some of them were as big as her fist, their skins taut and luminous."
3"At first Rory thought they were statues—tall, still forms among the trees or half-hidden in arbors—but then one turned its head and she saw the sheen of skin, the track of a real breath, the flicker of eyes too hungry and too tired to be ordinary."
4"It expanded for a heartbeat into a vertical seam, barely visible, and Rory caught the briefest glimpse of somewhere else behind it—stone and darkness and a sliver of cold blue light so alien against Dymas’s warmth that she shivered."
5"The valley beyond looked different now, not less beautiful but less trustworthy, the abundance suddenly feeling like a veil itself—something draped over rot, or hunger, or both."
88.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount2493
adjectiveStacks2
stackExamples
0"white, blood-red, silver-"
1"lazy, luxurious swell—strings"
adverbCount96
adverbRatio0.03850782190132371
lyAdverbCount20
lyAdverbRatio0.008022462896109106
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences225
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences225
mean12.08
std9.33
cv0.772
sampleLengths
015
125
236
321
47
54
623
79
87
98
105
1122
1210
1314
144
1521
1621
1751
184
191
201
2132
222
232
2412
254
2612
2712
285
2911
306
318
328
3314
3416
355
368
3716
383
395
402
412
4220
4315
4422
4514
465
475
4810
4921
44.44% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats15
diversityRatio0.30666666666666664
totalSentences225
uniqueOpeners69
100.00% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount11
totalSentences175
matches
0"Then her boots struck ground."
1"Instead, the entire dome of"
2"Somewhere beyond them, music drifted"
3"Even the light felt indulgent."
4"Instead it made her think"
5"Somewhere out in the orchards,"
6"Then the air shifted."
7"Then it closed."
8"Somewhere below, the music faltered"
9"Then the crack snapped shut"
10"Somewhere in the feast-halls, someone"
ratio0.063
100.00% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount40
totalSentences175
matches
0"It hung there between two"
1"Their eyes glowed faint violet,"
2"they whispered, voice like wind"
3"She tightened her grip on"
4"It hung at her belt,"
5"She had not yet grown"
6"Her stomach lurched."
7"She straightened and looked up."
8"It wasn’t a sky the"
9"It stretched vast and low"
10"They stood on a rise"
11"Its towers curved like the"
12"Its walls glittered."
13"she breathed before she could"
14"It was hotter now, a"
15"She followed the sensation with"
16"It spilled over everything with"
17"It should have been pleasant."
18"They started down the stone"
19"They glowed faintly underfoot and"
ratio0.229
82.86% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount132
totalSentences175
matches
0"The pendant went warm against"
1"It hung there between two"
2"The Veil shimmered in a"
3"The Heartstone rested beneath her"
4"Isolde said softly"
5"Rory glanced at her."
6"The seer stood as if"
7"Isolde’s mouth curved, almost a"
8"Nyx stood a pace behind"
9"Their eyes glowed faint violet,"
10"they whispered, voice like wind"
11"She tightened her grip on"
12"It hung at her belt,"
13"She had not yet grown"
14"The Heartstone pulsed again."
15"The tear in the air"
16"A bruised, metallic red that"
17"Isolde lifted a hand."
18"Nyx gave a low, dry"
19"Rory drew in a breath,"
ratio0.754
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences175
matches(empty)
ratio0
21.43% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences100
technicalSentenceCount17
matches
0"The Veil shimmered in a way that made her eyes ache if she stared too long, a faint distortion like heat off a road in summer, except the air was cold enough to…"
1"She had not yet grown used to the weight of it, or to the fact that one of the few things in her life that had ever been truly magical was also sharp enough to …"
2"Stone, warm beneath the soles, rough with age and traced in shallow grooves that glowed faintly amber in the dark."
3"It stretched vast and low and amber-bright, as though dusk had been stretched thin and lit from beneath by a furnace."
4"Terraced vineyards spread away in neat, impossible rows, their vines heavy with grapes the size of marbles and others the size of plums, clusters of deep purple…"
5"Somewhere beyond them, music drifted up in a lazy, luxurious swell—strings and drums and a laughing chorus that made her think of parties gone on too long and t…"
6"There—down the slope to the left—the glow strengthened in brief, uncertain beats, as if the Heartstone were breathing toward something unseen."
7"It spilled over everything with a thick, syrupy richness that made her skin feel too dry and too mortal."
8"It grew warmer, richer, and thicker, as though she were walking through the breath of a great beast."
9"Nyx leaned in slightly, their presence dimming and brightening with the shifting light."
10"Others looked almost carnivorous, their centers lined with thin gold filaments that trembled as Rory passed."
11"The ground underfoot was not dirt but a dark, fertile loam that gave softly beneath each step, steaming slightly in the warm air."
12"There was something about all of them that made Rory’s chest tighten: a draggedness in the shoulders, a brightness in the stare, as if each had been tuned to de…"
13"Rory followed the direction of their attention toward a ridge in the distance where a long banquet hall rose above the vines, its roof made of red tile and gold…"
14"Isolde looked where Rory pointed, then beyond, into a narrow cut between two slopes where the stone had turned black and slick, as if scorched by ancient fire."
15"Somewhere below, the music faltered and resumed as if no one wished to acknowledge the interruption."
16"This was a dry cold, the sort that lived in tombs and old wells, in places where something had been sealed away too long."
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags15
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
84.78% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags15
fancyCount3
fancyTags
0"they whispered (whisper)"
1"Rory muttered (mutter)"
2"she breathed (breathe)"
dialogueSentences46
tagDensity0.326
leniency0.652
rawRatio0.2
effectiveRatio0.13
84.2926%