Run: 2026-04-24-01KPZTY860NY1ZRKM2DJYKPSNT

"We're stealing from children, Bill. Actual small children." "Rich children, Molly. There's a difference." "Enlighten me." "Rich children have butlers. Butlers have pension plans. Ergo, victimless crime." "That's not how ergo works." "Look, the Pemberton kid's turning seven. You know what seven-year-olds get these days? iPads. Drones. One kid last year got a pony." "We're not stealing a pony, Bill." "I'm just saying, ponies have resale value." "How do you even fence a pony?" "Craigslist, Molly. Keep up." "Okay, fine. What's the plan?" "I dress as a clown. You dress as the entertainment." "What entertainment?" "Princess Sparklebottom." "Absolutely not." "She's booked. I canceled her. You've got the tiara in the bag." "Bill." "The children will be distracted by balloon animals while you gather the gifts into the 'magic treasure chest.'" "Which is?" "A duffel bag I spray-painted gold." "And the parents?" "Open bar. Trust me, by three o'clock those parents won't notice if we stole the house." "And if someone catches us?" "We cry. Loudly. Claim we're method actors going through a divorce." "That's your exit strategy?" "Molly, darling, I've escaped a bar mitzvah, a baptism, and a quinceañera. Trust the process."