Run: 2026-04-24-01KQ0686QA292VW2D0RR3V1E8W

Run Details

Duration:
38.3s
Cost:
$0.006119
Provider:
Xiaomi

Model input

System
You are an expert novelist with a gift for vivid, immersive prose. You write in tight third-person limited point of view with a strong narrative voice. Your prose is clean, precise, and engaging — you favor strong verbs, concrete details, and natural-sounding dialogue. You will be given a story bible (codex) containing canonical details about characters, locations, items, and lore. Use these details to ground your writing in the established world. Stay consistent with the codex. Write only the prose of the scene. Do not include titles, chapter headings, markdown formatting, or any commentary before or after the scene.
User/Human
<codex> <character id="4412" name="Aurora Carter" aliases="Rory, Laila, Aurora, Carter, Malphora" pronouns="she/her" species="Human" storyRole="Protagonist"> <eyeColor>bright blue</eyeColor> <hair>straight shoulder-length black</hair> <height>5'6"</height> <age>25</age> <scar>small crescent-shaped scar on her left wrist from a childhood accident</scar> <description>Aurora, referred to by her friends as Rory, is cool-headed, intelligent, and known for quick out-of-the-box thinking.</description> <backstory>Born in Cardiff to an Irish barrister father (Brendan Carter) and Welsh teacher mother (Jennifer Carter née Ellis), Rory reluctantly pursued Pre-Law at Cardiff University. She fled to London at the behest of her childhood friend Eva after leaving an abusive ex named Evan. By day, Rory works part-time as a delivery person for Yu-Fei Cheung's Golden Empress restaurant. She lives in a flat above Silas' bar.</backstory> </character> <location id="861" name="The Fae Grove" aliases="Isolde's grove, Richmond grove, the Grove" realm="Earth (Fae-touched)"> <parkLocation>Richmond Park</parkLocation> <standingStones>ancient oak standing stones mark the boundary</standingStones> <timeBehavior>time moves differently — an hour inside can be minutes or days outside</timeBehavior> <flora>wildflowers bloom year-round</flora> <description>A hidden clearing that exists in a pocket between Earth and the Fae realm.</description> </location> <item id="2001" name="Heartstone Pendant" aliases="the pendant, Heartstone" type="Artifact" origin="Dymas"> <gemstoneColor>deep crimson</gemstoneColor> <chainMaterial>silver chain</chainMaterial> <size>roughly the size of a thumbnail</size> <behavior>pulses faintly with warmth when near a Hel portal</behavior> <glow>faint inner glow</glow> <description>Given to Aurora by an unknown benefactor.</description> </item> </codex> Write a fully fleshed out scene of at least 1000 words in the horror genre. A character is alone in a strange, isolated place at night. They came here for a reason, but something feels off from the moment they arrive. The wrongness builds slowly — sounds that shouldn't be there, things that move at the edge of vision, a growing certainty that they are not alone. Build tension through restraint, not through gore. Use the codex entries above as your world reference for the character and setting. Only include the prose of the scene without any markdown or commentary.

Model response

AI
The Heartstone had been quiet for three weeks. Then, at half past eleven on a Tuesday night, it woke. Rory felt it first as a warmth against her sternum—subtle, insistent, like a hand pressing through fabric. She was halfway through stacking empty bottles behind Silas' bar when the heat bloomed, and she went still, fingers wrapped around the neck of a gin bottle. The pendant hung inside her shirt, pressed flat against skin, and its faint crimson glow bled through the cotton like a wound trying to open. She set the bottle down with exaggerated care and pulled the Heartstone free. The gem was doing the thing again—that slow, rhythmic pulse, like a heartbeat made visible. Crimson light washed over her fingers in waves. Deep in the gem's center, something shifted like smoke trapped in glass. It was pointing east. Toward Richmond. Rory checked the time on her phone. Eleven forty-two. The last tube from Hammersmith left at midnight. She had just enough time to get there, theoretically. But the question wasn't whether she could get there. The question was why she wanted to. The pendant was supposed to lead to a Hel portal—that much she'd gathered from the half-truths and careful silences of the people who knew what it was. A door between Earth and somewhere else. Somewhere older. She told herself it was curiosity. She told herself that for the entire District Line journey east, and for the twenty-minute walk through Richmond Park in the dark, and for every step along the path that wound past Isabella Plantation toward the standing stones. The park was empty. Of course it was empty. It was nearly one in the morning and the paths were unlit, and the October air had a bite to it that seeped through her jacket and found the gaps between her ribs. Rory walked quickly, the pendant burning a steady, urgent warmth against her chest, and she did not look at the trees. She failed, obviously. She looked at the trees. They were wrong. Not dramatically wrong. Not in any way she could have pointed to and explained to someone else. But the oaks flanking the path had a heaviness to them, as though they were leaning slightly inward—not physically, not in any measurable sense, but in the way that a room feels smaller when someone is angry. The branches overhead formed a canopy so dense it swallowed the sky. No stars. No moon. Just darkness and the crunch of her boots on the gravel path and the pendant's glow, which had intensified to the point where it now painted her jacket in shifting shades of red. She found the standing stones at ten minutes past one. She knew it was ten minutes past one because she checked her phone compulsively, and the clock had moved only forty minutes since she'd boarded the train at Hammersmith. This should have comforted her. It didn't. The stones stood in their usual clearing, eight of them arranged in a rough circle, ancient oaks that had been shaped by hands—or by magic—or by time itself into forms that suggested pillars rather than trees. Their bark was silver-grey in the pendant's light, and the moss that clung to their bases was an impossible shade of green, vivid and saturated in a way that looked wrong under red illumination. The wildflowers were still blooming. October, and the clearing was carpeted in them—bluebells, foxgloves, meadow cranesbill—nodding gently in a wind Rory couldn't feel. The air was perfectly still. That was the first thing that was truly wrong. The clearing had its own weather, its own pocket of atmosphere sealed off from the rest of the world, and right now it was holding its breath. The pendant pulsed harder. Rory stopped at the edge of the circle and pressed her palm flat against it, feeling the heat through her shirt. "I know," she muttered. "I'm here." She stepped between the two eastern stones and into the grove. The change was immediate and physical, like walking through a curtain of cold water. The air thickened. Sound muffled. The distant hum of London traffic—a sound she hadn't consciously registered until it vanished—simply ceased, replaced by a silence so complete it had weight. It pressed against her eardrums. It filled her sinuses. It made her aware of the sound of her own breathing, which was suddenly very loud and very fast. She stopped. Made herself slow it down. In through the nose, out through the mouth. She counted the seconds. One. Two. Three. Four. On five, she heard something. It was not a sound so much as the memory of a sound—a footstep, perhaps, or a branch settling, or the quiet displacement of air that something large makes when it moves. It came from behind her and to the left, near the stone that marked the southwestern boundary. Rory turned. The clearing was empty. The wildflowers nodded in their windless way. The trees beyond the stones were motionless, their trunks fading into a darkness that seemed thicker here than it had any right to be. "Hello?" she said. Her voice died. It left her mouth and traveled approximately three feet before the silence swallowed it whole, and she knew with a certainty she couldn't justify that no one outside the clearing had heard her. The words had been absorbed into the grove the way soil absorbs water—completely, without residue. She checked her phone. 1:14 AM. She'd been in the clearing for four minutes. It felt like longer. It felt like much longer. The pendant's glow shifted, and Rory looked down. The crimson light had taken on a darker quality, more blood than ruby, and the pulse had changed its rhythm. It was faster now. Urgent. It was pointing her deeper into the clearing, toward the center, where the grass grew taller and the wildflowers were so thick they concealed the ground entirely. She took a step forward. The grass whispered against her ankles, dry and soft, like old paper. Another step. The trees at the clearing's edge seemed to recede, or perhaps the clearing was expanding—she couldn't tell, and the not-telling made something cold settle in her stomach. She kept walking. Ten paces. Fifteen. Twenty. On the twenty-first step, she heard it again. Closer this time. Directly behind her. And this time, it was unmistakably a footstep—the soft, careful placement of something trying not to be heard. The grass compressing under weight. A pause, as though the thing had realized she'd noticed and was waiting to see what she'd do. Rory did not turn around. Her hands were shaking. She pressed them flat against her thighs and kept walking, counting her steps, focusing on the number rather than the sound that had resumed behind her at the same measured pace. One step for one step. A mirror. A copy. The thing behind her was matching her rhythm with the precision of a shadow. Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. She was near the center now. The pendant was blazing, so hot it bordered on painful, and the crimson light it threw was painting the clearing in shades of arterial red. The wildflowers looked different in this light—darker, wetter, their petals like cupped hands holding something viscous. The grass under her boots had gone soft in a way that wasn't natural, springy and givey, like walking on something alive. Rory stopped. The footstep behind her stopped. Silence. Total, crushing silence. She turned around. The clearing was empty. She was certain of this the way you are certain of the absence of something in a dark room—not because you can see clearly, but because you can feel the emptiness, the specific shape of no-one-there. The standing stones stood in their circle. The trees watched from beyond. The grass was smooth and undisturbed behind her, no flattened trail, no broken stems, nothing to indicate that anything had walked there at all. But the silence was wrong. It was not the silence of emptiness. It was the silence of something listening. The silence of a held breath, of a predator waiting for the prey to make a mistake. It was the silence of attention, and it was focused entirely on her. Rory looked down at the pendant. The crimson glow had steadied, and for the first time, she noticed something she hadn't seen before—or something that hadn't been there before. In the depths of the gem, past the smoke and the shifting light, there was a shape. A figure. Small and indistinct, like a person seen through frosted glass, but a person nonetheless, and it was standing very still, and it was facing her direction, and— She looked away. The pendant was an artifact. It was a tool. It led to portals. It did not contain people. She was tired and it was late and the grove was doing the thing it did with time and perception, and she needed to focus. She needed to think. She checked her phone. The screen was black. She tapped the power button. Tapped it again. Held it down. Nothing. The battery had been at sixty-seven percent when she'd entered the park. She remembered this because she'd checked it, and because checking it had been an act of reassurance, a small act of normalcy against the growing wrongness. Sixty-seven percent. Dead. In twenty-three minutes. Or had it been twenty-three minutes? She looked at the clearing around her. The wildflowers were still blooming. The trees were still standing. Nothing had moved. Nothing had changed. And yet there was a quality to the light that she hadn't noticed before—a thinness, a washed-out quality, as though the darkness itself was aging, going grey and brittle at the edges like old film stock. The pendant cooled. This was worse than the heat. The sudden absence of warmth against her chest left a void, and in that void she felt—something. A presence at the edge of the clearing, standing just beyond the stones, so still and so silent that she couldn't see it but could feel it the way you feel a change in air pressure before a storm. She wasn't alone. She had never been alone. The footstep she'd heard—or thought she'd heard—wasn't an approach. It was an announcement. It was something saying, very quietly, very politely: I am here, and I have always been here, and you are in my place now. The wildflowers shifted. Not in wind. Not in any breeze at all. They shifted the way grass shifts when something walks through it—parting, bending, rising again—and they were moving in a slow, deliberate arc from the eastern stones toward the center of the clearing. Toward her. But there was nothing moving through them. The stems bent and recovered with nothing visible passing between them, and the pattern of movement traced a path that was unmistakably not random, not natural, not anything that belonged to this world. Rory's heart was hammering so hard she could feel it in her teeth. She took a step back. The pendant, dead and cold against her skin, swung with the movement, and something in its motion caught her eye—the gem's surface, which should have been opaque, was flickering, and in each flicker she saw the figure again, closer now, almost close enough to make out details. A shape. A posture. Something that might have been a face, or might have been the absence of one. The wildflowers stopped moving. The silence deepened. And from somewhere very far away—or perhaps from somewhere very close but buried beneath layers of stillness and wrongness—Rory heard a voice. It was a whisper, dry as old paper, and it spoke a single word that she felt more than heard, a word that settled into her bones and stayed there, resonating like a bell that had been struck hours ago and was still, impossibly, still vibrating. Her name. Not Aurora. Not Rory. Not any of the names she'd used or been given. Something older, something that tasted like dust and iron and the space between heartbeats. Something that knew her in a way that had nothing to do with friendship or acquaintance, and everything to do with the pendant that now burned against her chest again, sudden and searing, and the grove that pressed in around her like a fist closing, and the dark that was no longer empty, that had never been empty, that was filling now with something that moved at the edge of vision and refused, stubbornly and completely, to be seen. She ran. Her boots found the path—or found something like it, a hard surface beneath the impossible softness of the grass—and she ran for the stones, for the circle, for the gap between the eastern oaks that she had entered what felt like a lifetime ago. The pendant burned. The wildflowers whipped against her shins. The air was thick and wet and wrong, and behind her—or beside her, or all around her—the silence was gone and had been replaced by something else. A sound. Breathing. Not hers.
created_at"2026-04-24T16:47:59.23Z" 4/24/2026, 4:47:59 PM
model"xiaomi/mimo-v2.5-20260422"
app_id182717
external_user(null)
streamedtrue
cancelledfalse
latency584
moderation_latency(null)
generation_time38205
tokens_prompt812
tokens_completion3607
native_tokens_prompt760
native_tokens_completion3020
native_tokens_completion_images(null)
native_tokens_reasoning286
native_tokens_cached704
num_media_prompt(null)
num_input_audio_prompt(null)
num_media_completion0
num_search_results(null)
num_fetches(null)
web_search_engine(null)
origin"https://ncbench.com/"
is_byokfalse
finish_reason"stop"
native_finish_reason"stop"
usage0.00611872
router(null)
provider_responses
0
endpoint_id"2af4bf94-26fa-42b9-bce0-8b11071e105a"
id"548c96f967414f8e84f294a20a850c1d"
is_byokfalse
latency540
model_permaslug"xiaomi/mimo-v2.5-20260422"
provider_name"Xiaomi"
status200
user_agent"langchainjs-openai/1.0.0 ((node/v24.14.1; linux; x64))"
http_referer(null)
request_id"req-1777049279-Huebr94YdVp00eoKKHhE"
session_id(null)
api_type"completions"
id"gen-1777049279-lkMD6a5BU1i86ojqCPP3"
upstream_id"548c96f967414f8e84f294a20a850c1d"
total_cost0.00611872
cache_discount0.00022528
upstream_inference_cost0
provider_name"Xiaomi"
response_cache_source_id(null)

Evaluation details

Result Evaluator Details Meta Data
100.00% Adverbs in dialogue tags
Target: ≤10% dialogue tags with adverbs
totalTags2
adverbTagCount0
adverbTags(empty)
dialogueSentences3
tagDensity0.667
leniency1
rawRatio0
effectiveRatio0
65.94% AI-ism adverb frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism adverbs (58 tracked)
wordCount2202
totalAiIsmAdverbs15
found
0
adverb"quickly"
count1
1
adverb"slightly"
count1
2
adverb"gently"
count1
3
adverb"perfectly"
count1
4
adverb"truly"
count1
5
adverb"suddenly"
count1
6
adverb"very"
count7
7
adverb"completely"
count2
highlights
0"quickly"
1"slightly"
2"gently"
3"perfectly"
4"truly"
5"suddenly"
6"very"
7"completely"
100.00% AI-ism character names
Target: 0 AI-default names (17 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
100.00% AI-ism location names
Target: 0 AI-default location names (33 tracked, −20% each)
codexExemptions(empty)
found(empty)
29.61% AI-ism word frequency
Target: <2% AI-ism words (290 tracked)
wordCount2202
totalAiIsms31
found
0
word"warmth"
count3
1
word"rhythmic"
count1
2
word"pulse"
count2
3
word"pulsed"
count1
4
word"silence"
count11
5
word"weight"
count2
6
word"stomach"
count1
7
word"measured"
count1
8
word"predator"
count1
9
word"depths"
count1
10
word"normalcy"
count1
11
word"could feel"
count2
12
word"traced"
count1
13
word"flicker"
count1
14
word"whisper"
count1
15
word"searing"
count1
highlights
0"warmth"
1"rhythmic"
2"pulse"
3"pulsed"
4"silence"
5"weight"
6"stomach"
7"measured"
8"predator"
9"depths"
10"normalcy"
11"could feel"
12"traced"
13"flicker"
14"whisper"
15"searing"
100.00% Cliché density
Target: ≤1 cliche(s) per 800-word window
totalCliches0
maxInWindow0
found(empty)
highlights(empty)
100.00% Emotion telling (show vs. tell)
Target: ≤3% sentences with emotion telling
emotionTells0
narrationSentences200
matches(empty)
100.00% Filter word density
Target: ≤3% sentences with filter/hedge words
filterCount1
hedgeCount1
narrationSentences200
filterMatches
0"feel"
hedgeMatches
0"seemed to"
100.00% Gibberish response detection
Target: ≤1% gibberish-like sentences (hard fail if a sentence exceeds 800 words)
analyzedSentences201
gibberishSentences0
adjustedGibberishSentences0
longSentenceCount0
runOnParagraphCount0
giantParagraphCount0
wordSaladCount0
repetitionLoopCount0
controlTokenCount0
repeatedSegmentCount0
maxSentenceWordsSeen79
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Markdown formatting overuse
Target: ≤5% words in markdown formatting
markdownSpans0
markdownWords0
totalWords2172
ratio0
matches(empty)
100.00% Missing dialogue indicators (quotation marks)
Target: ≤10% speech attributions without quotation marks
totalAttributions3
unquotedAttributions0
matches(empty)
100.00% Name drop frequency
Target: ≤1.0 per-name mentions per 100 words
totalMentions31
wordCount2148
uniqueNames15
maxNameDensity0.61
worstName"Rory"
maxWindowNameDensity1.5
worstWindowName"Rory"
discoveredNames
Heartstone2
Tuesday1
Richmond2
Hammersmith2
Hel1
Earth1
District1
Line1
Park1
Isabella1
Plantation1
October2
Rory13
London1
Aurora1
persons
0"Heartstone"
1"Rory"
places
0"Richmond"
1"Hammersmith"
2"Hel"
3"District"
4"Line"
5"Park"
6"Isabella"
7"Plantation"
8"London"
globalScore1
windowScore1
71.05% Narrator intent-glossing
Target: ≤2% narration sentences with intent-glossing patterns
analyzedSentences95
glossingSentenceCount3
matches
0"seemed thicker here than it had any right to be"
1"tasted like dust and iron and the space b"
2"something like it, a hard surface beneath th"
3"felt like a lifetime ago"
100.00% "Not X but Y" pattern overuse
Target: ≤1 "not X but Y" per 1000 words
totalMatches2
per1kWords0.921
wordCount2172
matches
0"not physically, not in any measurable sense, but in the way"
1"not in any measurable sense, but in the way"
100.00% Overuse of "that" (subordinate clause padding)
Target: ≤2% sentences with "that" clauses
thatCount1
totalSentences201
matches
0"indicate that anything"
100.00% Paragraph length variance
Target: CV ≥0.5 for paragraph word counts
totalParagraphs64
mean33.94
std34.46
cv1.015
sampleLengths
08
111
269
348
46
578
644
763
88
93
10103
1110
12106
1364
1425
156
1611
1771
1819
191
201
211
221
235
2486
253
2651
2723
2860
2953
308
3147
325
3358
343
3569
367
374
383
3976
405
4144
4275
433
4447
454
4660
476
4859
493
91.23% Passive voice overuse
Target: ≤2% passive sentences
passiveCount8
totalSentences200
matches
0"was supposed"
1"been shaped"
2"was carpeted"
3"been absorbed"
4"was focused"
5"been struck"
6"been given"
7"was gone"
8"been replaced"
0.00% Past progressive (was/were + -ing) overuse
Target: ≤2% past progressive verbs
pastProgressiveCount21
totalVerbs346
matches
0"was doing"
1"was pointing"
2"were leaning"
3"were still blooming"
4"was holding"
5"was pointing"
6"was waiting"
7"were shaking"
8"was matching"
9"was blazing"
10"was painting"
11"was standing"
12"was facing"
13"was doing"
14"were still blooming"
15"were still standing"
16"was aging"
17"were moving"
18"was hammering"
19"was flickering"
20"was filling"
0.00% Em-dash & semicolon overuse
Target: ≤2% sentences with em-dashes/semicolons
emDashCount31
semicolonCount0
flaggedSentences23
totalSentences201
ratio0.114
matches
0"Rory felt it first as a warmth against her sternum—subtle, insistent, like a hand pressing through fabric."
1"The gem was doing the thing again—that slow, rhythmic pulse, like a heartbeat made visible."
2"The pendant was supposed to lead to a Hel portal—that much she'd gathered from the half-truths and careful silences of the people who knew what it was."
3"But the oaks flanking the path had a heaviness to them, as though they were leaning slightly inward—not physically, not in any measurable sense, but in the way that a room feels smaller when someone is angry."
4"The stones stood in their usual clearing, eight of them arranged in a rough circle, ancient oaks that had been shaped by hands—or by magic—or by time itself into forms that suggested pillars rather than trees."
5"October, and the clearing was carpeted in them—bluebells, foxgloves, meadow cranesbill—nodding gently in a wind Rory couldn't feel."
6"The distant hum of London traffic—a sound she hadn't consciously registered until it vanished—simply ceased, replaced by a silence so complete it had weight."
7"It was not a sound so much as the memory of a sound—a footstep, perhaps, or a branch settling, or the quiet displacement of air that something large makes when it moves."
8"The words had been absorbed into the grove the way soil absorbs water—completely, without residue."
9"The trees at the clearing's edge seemed to recede, or perhaps the clearing was expanding—she couldn't tell, and the not-telling made something cold settle in her stomach."
10"And this time, it was unmistakably a footstep—the soft, careful placement of something trying not to be heard."
11"The wildflowers looked different in this light—darker, wetter, their petals like cupped hands holding something viscous."
12"She was certain of this the way you are certain of the absence of something in a dark room—not because you can see clearly, but because you can feel the emptiness, the specific shape of no-one-there."
13"The crimson glow had steadied, and for the first time, she noticed something she hadn't seen before—or something that hadn't been there before."
14"Small and indistinct, like a person seen through frosted glass, but a person nonetheless, and it was standing very still, and it was facing her direction, and—"
15"And yet there was a quality to the light that she hadn't noticed before—a thinness, a washed-out quality, as though the darkness itself was aging, going grey and brittle at the edges like old film stock."
16"The sudden absence of warmth against her chest left a void, and in that void she felt—something."
17"The footstep she'd heard—or thought she'd heard—wasn't an approach."
18"They shifted the way grass shifts when something walks through it—parting, bending, rising again—and they were moving in a slow, deliberate arc from the eastern stones toward the center of the clearing."
19"The pendant, dead and cold against her skin, swung with the movement, and something in its motion caught her eye—the gem's surface, which should have been opaque, was flickering, and in each flicker she saw the figure again, closer now, almost close enough to make out details."
20"And from somewhere very far away—or perhaps from somewhere very close but buried beneath layers of stillness and wrongness—Rory heard a voice."
21"Her boots found the path—or found something like it, a hard surface beneath the impossible softness of the grass—and she ran for the stones, for the circle, for the gap between the eastern oaks that she had entered what felt like a lifetime ago."
22"The air was thick and wet and wrong, and behind her—or beside her, or all around her—the silence was gone and had been replaced by something else."
100.00% Purple prose (modifier overload)
Target: <4% adverbs, <2% -ly adverbs, no adj stacking
wordCount45
adjectiveStacks0
stackExamples(empty)
adverbCount1
adverbRatio0.022222222222222223
lyAdverbCount0
lyAdverbRatio0
100.00% Repeated phrase echo
Target: ≤20% sentences with echoes (window: 2)
totalSentences201
echoCount0
echoWords(empty)
100.00% Sentence length variance
Target: CV ≥0.4 for sentence word counts
totalSentences201
mean10.81
std11.81
cv1.093
sampleLengths
08
111
217
327
425
513
615
78
812
94
102
117
122
138
149
159
167
1727
187
192
206
2138
224
235
2433
2521
263
275
283
293
3014
3137
3212
332
342
3533
3610
3729
385
392
4036
4134
425
4318
445
459
4627
474
4821
494
30.10% Sentence opener variety
Target: ≥60% unique sentence openers
consecutiveRepeats40
diversityRatio0.25870646766169153
totalSentences201
uniqueOpeners52
84.39% Adverb-first sentence starts
Target: ≥3% sentences starting with an adverb
adverbCount4
totalSentences158
matches
0"Then, at half past eleven"
1"Of course it was empty."
2"Just darkness and the crunch"
3"Directly behind her."
ratio0.025
78.23% Pronoun-first sentence starts
Target: ≤30% sentences starting with a pronoun
pronounCount56
totalSentences158
matches
0"She was halfway through stacking"
1"She set the bottle down"
2"It was pointing east."
3"She had just enough time"
4"She told herself it was"
5"She told herself that for"
6"It was nearly one in"
7"She failed, obviously."
8"She looked at the trees."
9"They were wrong."
10"She found the standing stones"
11"She knew it was ten"
12"Their bark was silver-grey in"
13"She stepped between the two"
14"It pressed against her eardrums."
15"It filled her sinuses."
16"It made her aware of"
17"She counted the seconds."
18"It was not a sound"
19"It came from behind her"
ratio0.354
54.94% Subject-first sentence starts
Target: ≤72% sentences starting with a subject
subjectCount128
totalSentences158
matches
0"The Heartstone had been quiet"
1"Rory felt it first as"
2"She was halfway through stacking"
3"The pendant hung inside her"
4"She set the bottle down"
5"The gem was doing the"
6"Crimson light washed over her"
7"It was pointing east."
8"Rory checked the time on"
9"The last tube from Hammersmith"
10"She had just enough time"
11"The question was why she"
12"The pendant was supposed to"
13"A door between Earth and"
14"She told herself it was"
15"She told herself that for"
16"The park was empty."
17"It was nearly one in"
18"Rory walked quickly, the pendant"
19"She failed, obviously."
ratio0.81
0.00% Subordinate conjunction sentence starts
Target: ≥2% sentences starting with a subordinating conjunction
subConjCount0
totalSentences158
matches(empty)
ratio0
0.00% Technical jargon density
Target: ≤6% sentences with technical-jargon patterns
analyzedSentences68
technicalSentenceCount16
matches
0"The pendant was supposed to lead to a Hel portal—that much she'd gathered from the half-truths and careful silences of the people who knew what it was."
1"But the oaks flanking the path had a heaviness to them, as though they were leaning slightly inward—not physically, not in any measurable sense, but in the way …"
2"Just darkness and the crunch of her boots on the gravel path and the pendant's glow, which had intensified to the point where it now painted her jacket in shift…"
3"The stones stood in their usual clearing, eight of them arranged in a rough circle, ancient oaks that had been shaped by hands—or by magic—or by time itself int…"
4"Their bark was silver-grey in the pendant's light, and the moss that clung to their bases was an impossible shade of green, vivid and saturated in a way that lo…"
5"It made her aware of the sound of her own breathing, which was suddenly very loud and very fast."
6"It came from behind her and to the left, near the stone that marked the southwestern boundary."
7"The trees beyond the stones were motionless, their trunks fading into a darkness that seemed thicker here than it had any right to be."
8"She pressed them flat against her thighs and kept walking, counting her steps, focusing on the number rather than the sound that had resumed behind her at the s…"
9"The grass under her boots had gone soft in a way that wasn't natural, springy and givey, like walking on something alive."
10"And yet there was a quality to the light that she hadn't noticed before—a thinness, a washed-out quality, as though the darkness itself was aging, going grey an…"
11"The stems bent and recovered with nothing visible passing between them, and the pattern of movement traced a path that was unmistakably not random, not natural,…"
12"The pendant, dead and cold against her skin, swung with the movement, and something in its motion caught her eye—the gem's surface, which should have been opaqu…"
13"It was a whisper, dry as old paper, and it spoke a single word that she felt more than heard, a word that settled into her bones and stayed there, resonating li…"
14"Something older, something that tasted like dust and iron and the space between heartbeats."
15"Something that knew her in a way that had nothing to do with friendship or acquaintance, and everything to do with the pendant that now burned against her chest…"
100.00% Useless dialogue additions
Target: ≤5% dialogue tags with trailing filler fragments
totalTags2
uselessAdditionCount0
matches(empty)
0.00% Dialogue tag variety (said vs. fancy)
Target: ≤10% fancy dialogue tags
totalTags2
fancyCount1
fancyTags
0"she muttered (mutter)"
dialogueSentences3
tagDensity0.667
leniency1
rawRatio0.5
effectiveRatio0.5
73.5161%